History Cracked / TropesAToH

-->You know your friend who's read the books Creator/GeorgeRRMartin wrote before he started Literature/GameOfThrones, or the one who watches nothing but authentic, [[SubbingVersusDubbing untranslated Japanese anime]], or the guy who has at some point in his life been a member of [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Sonic Youth]]? They're the ubernerds. They're super-pretentious, and they (fine -- we) are insufferable. Not because of our taste for obscurity, but because of our ''arrogance''. We act like knowing more about the artist makes us better, even though all it really means is that we spend our free time differently from "normal" people.

-->'''Q:''' What did the elephant say to the poacher?
-->'''A:''' Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.
-->Sorry about that. Sometimes we get "joke" mixed up with "tragic imagined dialogue that could be happening at this very second if elephants had the power of speech.

-->So what do you call your act?
-->''WesternAnimation/TheAristocats''!

--->Every city in the world shares the same basic building blocks — brick, stone, steel, mortar, and UsefulNotes/McDonalds restaurants.

--->There are lots of reasons why criminals should be afraid of Batman: He's trained in martial arts, he's a genius detective and he's dressed like a giant bat.

--->Whether it's fashioning suits out of women, stitching masks from travelers' faces, or building a puppet that can ride a tricycle, [[SpoofAesop the real moral seems to be that you should never trust anyone]] [[MadArtist who genuinely seems to enjoy sewing]].

--->The devil, also known as Satan, Beelzebub, Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, Mr. Scratch, Old Nick and Al Pacino, is the cloven-hoofed, pitchfork-wielding, red-skinned, horned king of hell and founder of the metal genre of music.

--->As you probably know, ''Film/IndependenceDay'' recently got a sequel, ''Film/IndependenceDayResurgence'', starring Jeff Goldblum, Brent Spiner, and the boxcar hobo that killed Bill Pullman and stole his identity.

--->"Did you hear [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveConnections the boss gave the promotion to his mistress?]]"\\

--->Player character [[VideoGame/RedDeadRedemption2 Arthur Morgan]] commits murder, various types of robbery, and most heinous of all... [[EvilDebtCollector money-]]{{l|oanShark}}ending?

---->Lara Croft from the original ''Franchise/TombRaider'' games famously didn't give a crap who she killed. She would murder surrendering technicians, lure innocent clones into lava, poke people in the eyes with the cones on her chest, etc.

--->''WesternAnimation/{{Zootopia}}'' is a world of police brutality, incompetent unjust government, and Music/{{Shakira}} playing a gazelle.

--->If the increasingly frequent clues hinting at a mass extinction, the triumphant return of murder hornets, and social media's unending obsession with a Starburst commercial from 2007 weren't enough indicators that the end is nigh, it seems Creator/SethMacFarlane, creator of ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' and artist behind the “We Saw Your Boobs” song from the 2013 Oscars, has emerged as the [[HorsemenOfTheApocalypse fourth [horse rider] of the apocalypse]].

--->''Star Wars'' has obviously featured a number of iconic villains over the years, from Darth Vader to Emperor Palpatine to mid-'90s digital technology.

--->A whole generation of children developed an irrational fear of antelope hooves thanks to Mufasa's death scene in ''The Lion King'' -- though it's unclear if he died from getting trampled by the antelopes, falling off that cliff, or because the claw wounds on his paw got infected.

--> Back in the 18th century, when many folks still thought scientific phenomena were caused by ghosts or witches or the ghosts of witches, scientists used this effect to prank "simple people".

* DeconstructorFleet: Frequently, the themes for the photoshop contests amount to "Show what X would be like in the real world."
** A lot of other articles tend toward this theme as well. ''Cracked's'' attitude toward fictional media of any sort seems to be "This would suck if it were real, therefore you suck for enjoying it in escapist fiction."

--> - Holy shiiiit Soren is a beautiful man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
--> - What I'm trying to say he looks like a sexy, sexy serial killer.
--> - Hmm, this seems like a well-written article full of information l can use to apply myself in the futu-SOOORRRRRRREEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

** Sometimes they will make an aside comment about the main point of discussion.

--->'''Christian Ames:''' Maybe, we should call this one ''[[LongTitle The Spy Who Made Constant Double Entendres For the Entire Movie, So Much So That No One Can Remember The Plot and Just Thinks It Was a Movie About Double Entendres]]''.

* ContinuityLockout: [[invoked]]In the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eto3TevXmAs Escort Mission episode]] ''Franchise/MortalKombat'' and ''VideoGame/MortalKombatX'', [=n00b=] is completely lost about the story of the games and the redesign of some characters since he hasn't played any of the games since [[VideoGame/MortalKombat1 the original arcade game]].

* BadassInCharge: In Dan O'Brian's opinion, the U.S. Presidency, and the men who have held that office, are extremely Badass. Not to mention crazy.

* BetterThanCanon:[[invoked]] Invoked: [[https://www.cracked.com/article/18367_6-insane-fan-theories-that-actually-make-great-movies-better/]]
** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19266_5-movie-fan-theories-that-make-more-sense-than-movie.html 5 Movie Fan Theories That Make More Sense Than the Movie]].
** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20347_5-fan-theories-that-make-classic-movies-even-better.html?wa_user1=5&wa_user2=Movies+%26+TV&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=recommended 5 Fan Theories That Make Classic Movies Even Better]]

* AmericansHateTingle: [[{{InUniverse}} A well-known example]] regarding Americans, their disgust at UsefulNotes/AssociationFootball, appears in articles such as [[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/the-hilarious-story-american-football-abroad/ this]]. Given that despite Cracked being American [[WeAllLiveInAmerica and with an excessively US-centric POV]], most readers are foreigners, the comments usually go down into a FlameWar.

* AuthorityEqualsAsskicking: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_15895_the-5-most-badass-presidents-all-time_p5.html The 5 Most Badass Presidents of All Time]]. Counts as a WeAllLiveInAmerica too.

* DanBrowned: Oftentimes their articles, even if they're cited, end up being either gross misrepresentations of the facts or even flat-out lies. A particularly JustForFun/{{egregious}} example is in their article "If Oscar Speeches Told the Truth" where they claim the screenplay to ''Film/GoodWillHunting'' wasn't really written by Creator/MattDamon and Creator/BenAffleck, and the citation they link to ''directly contradicts their entire point''.

** At one point in the article "[[https://www.cracked.com/article_24805_6-disney-scenes-that-are-way-more-tragic-than-you-realized.html 6 Disney Scenes That Are Way More Tragic Than You Realized]]", Mufasa's death in ''WesternAnimation/TheLionKing'' is described in the following manner:

** ''[[http://www.cracked.com/article_21766_the-poop-unicorn-5-other-bizarre-mythical-creatures.html "The Poop Unicorn and 5 Other Bizarre Mythical Creatures"]]'' has the Kurupi, the Paraguayan version of an [[HornyDevils incubus]]. The "members" of the Kurupi are so long and prehensile that they don't sneak into your house to sleep with you, their "member" itself does. They even wrap it around themselves, so it won't drag on the floor.

* GoodCopBadCop: Parodied [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/why-crimes-would-never-get-solved-at-a-tv-police-station/ here]] along with TheyFightCrime, RippedFromTheHeadlines and countless other CopShow clichés.

* ArtisticLicenseHistory: The DeconstructiveParody of Franchise Franchise/{{Disney Princess}}es , "If Disney Cartoons Were Historically Accurate", has a gag in which [[WesternAnimation/{{Pocahontas}} Meeko]], a raccoon, is dead and presented as a food item. As the video is meant to be set in Medieval Europe, Meeko shouldn't be there at all, for raccoons wouldn't be introduced to Europe until the 20th century.

* CaptionContest: The daily [[http://www.cracked.com/craptions/ Craption Contest]], where users submit captions for a silly picture and get votes on which one is the funniest.

* DeathBySex: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20657_the-6-most-bizarre-ways-to-lose-popular-video-games.html The 6 Most Bizarre Ways to Lose Popular Video Games]] describes an odd NonstandardGameOver in ''VideoGame/MassEffect2''.

---->Lara Croft from the original ''VideoGame/TombRaider'' games famously didn't give a crap who she killed. She would murder surrendering technicians, lure innocent clones into lava, poke people in the eyes with the cones on her chest, etc.

%% * GettingCrapPastThe Radar: Due to overwhelming and persistent misuse, GCPTR is on-page examples only until 01 June 2021. If you are reading this in the future, please check the trope page to make sure your example fits the current definition.

** PlayedForLaughs, but {{Nerd}}s and {{Fandom}}s are common targets for quick jokes. Cue FlameWar in the comments between people offended by this, {{Troll}}s, people who simply see it as a joke and others who legitimately hate nerds.

* AwesomeMcCoolname: [[http://www.cracked.com/article_14982_the-9-manliest-names-in-world.html Staff Sgt Max Fightmaster.]]
---> "Where do you go when your name is already Staff Sgt. Max fucking Fightmaster? Oh, wait, there you go. Just make "Fucking" an official part of the name. We think it's almost impossible to say the name without it anyway."
** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18646_the-5-most-insane-improvised-weapons-that-were-animals_p2.html Testosticor Fantastiballs.]]

* AmbiguousDisorder: Spoofed in [[http://www.cracked.com/video_18175_why-batman-secretly-terrible-gotham.html Why Batman Is Secretly Terrible for Gotham.]]

* BeTheBall: The operation of the Morph Ball in ''VideoGame/{{Metroid}}'' is the #27 [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_388_27-science-lessons-as-taught-by-famous-video-games/ Science Lesson As Taught by Famous Video Games]].

* {{Hypocrite}}:
** Cracked does a lot of articles on how we shouldn't treat women as sex objects, yet several readers have pointed out how their ad sections are full of links to pictures of half-naked women and articles ridiculing any girl who isn't conventionally attractive.
** On March 3rd, 2015 Cracked published an article called [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-creepy-ways-were-making-money-off-dead-celebrities/ "5 Creepy Ways We're Making Money Off Dead Celebrities"]]. On the previous day, March 2nd, Cracked released [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/2-new-shirts-spock-gaming-fans/ this]] ad for new t-shirts, one of which features the character Spock from ''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'' exactly ''three days'' after Leonard Nimoy passed away.
** Cracked also likes to criticize "advantaged" people who support civil rights for minorities since they can't ''really'' understand what racial/sexual minorities go through, such as in [[http://www.cracked.com/video_19280_popular-lyrics-re-examined-homophobic-gay-rights-song.html this]] video which calls Macklemore's "Same Love" homophobic because the rapper mentions he's straight. Never mind the fact that Cracked's writing and editorial staff is ''overwhelmingly'' comprised of straight white men. This may also be a reason why J.F. Sargent and Luke [=McKinney=], two white male writers who frequently write on social justice issues, are not incredibly popular with the commentariat.
** The site as a whole is quite critical of "clickbait" websites such as [=BuzzFeed=] which are seemingly more interested in advertising money than substantial content. This is despite the legendary "Title Guy" changing article/video titles on a near-daily basis, even to outright lies about the article/video's content, apparently to see what will get the most hits. This may be a reason, if not ''the'' reason, for his(?) poor reputation in the comments section.
** David Wong has been critical of people whom he perceives as unable to take criticism, most notably in his famous "Six Harsh Truths" article. This is despite his own rather dismissive attitudes towards complaints about the site, even reasonable ones, and open disdain for the comments section and his tendency to strawman and undermine any opposition to his views.
** The site frequently snarks at writers who feel a need to make things [[DarkerAndEdgier darker]]. This coming from a site that frequently writes (often inaccurate) articles about how the heroes from films were actually bad and looking for warped messages in children's films and books and similar articles.
** In an article about the Alt-Right, Robert Evans noted how they frequently get pop culture references wrong and how frustrating it is to see that happen. Nearly every instance listed of [[CriticalResearchFailure the site getting something wrong]] has been in relation to films and video games, making them complaining about it very hypocritical.
* The site's current social justice stance and digs at offensive humor are undermined somewhat by the fact that a number of articles contain jokes about overweight people and people with developmental disabilities.

-->''"''Film/{{Mortdecai}}'' made a cringeworthy $10 million in its first weekend, [[BoxOfficeBomb and has since barely made back half of its $60 million budget]]. But what's worse is that ''anyone'' expected otherwise, as this film about Johnny Depp playing a goofy eccentric clown was inexplicably rated R -- as in, it was restricted from the ''only people'' who would possibly want to see Jack Sparrow do silly walks on camera. Seriously, who was this movie even for? What fictional demographic were the executives imagining when they released this cinematic enigma?"''

* DiscreditedTrope: [[invoked]] Several articles discuss tropes deemed discredited. These include [[http://www.cracked.com/article_17392_6-sci-fi-movie-conventions-that-need-to-die.html 6 Sci-Fi Movie Conventions (That Need to Die)]] and [[http://www.cracked.com/article_20467_5-overused-twist-endings-its-time-movies-to-retire.html 5 Overused Twist Endings It's Time For Movies to Retire]]. Taken UpToEleven in [[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_849_the-43-most-overused-movie-tropes/ The 43 Most Overused Movie Tropes]].

* FreakyFridayFlip: When Body Switching Movies Collide is a skit done by the ''Cracked'' staff. It starts off when [[Series/QuantumLeap Sam]] Leaped into [[Film/FreakyFriday1976 Ellen Cunningham]]'s mind after she switched bodies with Anna. [[Film/{{Ghost}} Sam Cunningham]], Ellen's dead husband, shows up, explaining how he will possess Sam and have sex with Ellen one last time. Al argues that Ghost Sam possessing Quantum Leap Sam to have sex with Ellen would result in Anna's body having sex with Helen, who has Anna's mind at the moment. The Ghost Sam leaves in disgust, saying he plans to have sex with someone else. Al reveals that Anna is a [[Film/SpyKids secret agent]] hired for the [[Series/StargateSG1 Stargate project]] in the [[{{Series/Torchwood}} Torchwood Institute]] in Roswell. [[Franchise/TheMatrix Trinity]], who works for the [[Series/Millennium1996 Millenium Corporation]], shows up in a [[Series/{{Sliders}} Slider Hole]] and explains that the world is a false reality created by sophiscated computers contained within the mind of [[Film/BeingJohnMalkovich John Horatio Malkovich]]. When Quantum Leap Sam asks Al to Leap him out of this madness, Al can't because he's actually a [[Series/BattlestarGalactica1978 Cylon]]. It turns out it was all Michael Swaim's dream, and the camera zooms out to reveal that sequence was [[Series/StElsewhere imagined by Michael looking at his snowglobe]].