Funny / The New Day

• Just the entire New Day gimmick, post heel turn. You went from generic happy-go-lucky babyfaces to master trolls who will mock you in your face while still wearing a smile.
• #SavetheTables, which riffs off of Amy Grant's and Sarah McLaughan's ASPCA PSAs complete with overdramatic Big E. Complete with petition. No, really.
  Big E: [stroking the tables] We love you babies! We love you tables!
• Xavier Woods. Full stop. Between the trombone and his own Motor Mouth, if Kofi or Big E are in the ring, he will. not. shut. up. until the bell rings.
  • Yelling "I'ma make gravity remember you!" to Neville in his match against Kofi.
  • "WORLDSTAR!! WORLDSTAR!!!"
  • The time he played the Final Fantasy victory fanfare theme on his trombone.
  • Shooting down Kevin Owens' claim that they jumped the shark by responding: "Look at yourself. When was the last time you jumped over anything?" Even funnier because Big E and Kofi basically do this.
• The fact that their Entrance video went from this, to this.
• Woods' justification for playing the trombone throughout New Day's matches? "I'm the bard!" of their group.
• Their confrontation with The Rock when RAW aired in Miami was full of this, particularly the subtle reference to his other relative Rikishi. They even got the accent right:
  Big E: He says he did it for the people...
  Xavier: But he did it for the paycheck.
  • Also that they and The Rock managed to get away with saying "penises" on TV.
    The Rock: The Rock knows exactly who you are. You are the WWE Tag Team Champions. You are obviously extremely entertaining. But here's what's amazing. What's amazing is the fact you are that entertaining when you still wear llama penises strapped to your head.
    Xavier: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
    Kofi: Can you say penises on TV?
    Xavier: You can't say penis on TV.
    Big E: You can't say penises on TV.
    Xavier: You can't say that.
    Big E: You can't say penises on TV.
    Kofi: No.
    Big E: You can't say penises on TV.
• Xavier hilariously lampshading the Ho Yay between Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose on the 2-1-2016 episode of RAW.
  Big E: Ambrose!
  Xavier: Reigns!
  Kofi: Ambreigns!
  Xavier: Hey, that's what they call them on Tumblr and all those fanfiction sites!
  Kofi: Wait, what's fanfiction?
  Xavier: BRO-THER—
  Big E: HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY! WE DO NOT WANT TO GO DOWN THAT RABBIT HOLE!
  • Kofi's discovery of said fanfiction.
    Kofi: Now I know. And I'm sorry I asked.
• They have their own cereal. Booty-O's: "We make sure, you ain't Booty!"
• Their ENTIRE entrance at WrestleMania 32 complete with them arriving in a giant box of Booty-Os cereal (which revealed the ingredients◊) and wearing Saiyan Armor, Xavier even sports Vegeta's hairstyle!
• The entire New Day-Lorean Time Machine segment on the May 16, 2016 episode of Raw, with said time machine made from an empty refrigerator box and miscellaneous objects found in a basement. Particularly:
  Big E: And that keyboard? Is that from your parents house?
  Xavier: Yes?
  Big E: Why is it sticky?
  Xavier: THIS is my New Day-lorean Time Machine!
  • Their brief stop into 2009 and Kofi happily relieving his Jamaican Sensation persona again. Unfortunately Xavier drags him back into the box as they didn’'t go back far enough.
    Kofi: NO! Leave me here! 2009 was my best year! LEAVE ME HERE!
• Xavier Woods happens upon a rather strange ramen shop.
• Them mocking The Wyatt Family by cosplaying as them but with unicorn accessories.
• Xavier Woods' gaming feud with Kenny Omega of the Bullet Club, full stop.
  • Eventually, it culminates in a major Street Fighter V showdown at CEO 2016. And they did indeed play Dance Dance Revolution after that.
  • Revived again at CEO 2017, this time over Tekken 7.
  • Set to be revived once more, in a runback of their 2016 Street Fighter V bout.
• Even better, the rest of the New Day and the Young Bucks have gotten peripherally involved in this.
  • The Elite wearing New Day shirts and challenging the New Day to fight for their NEVER Six Man Tag Team Championships.
  • The Young Bucks stage an intervention for Kenny over his New Day mania.
  • Unfortunately, the New Day shirts cost The Elite a match.
  • This interviewer has the gall to rock a Bullet Club shirt in front of the New Day, and they quickly make him pay for it.
  • The Elite's parody of the New Day shirts.
  • Now The Elite have their own cereal as well. Booty-O's, meet...Superkix.
  • When the New Day unveiled their "WHO?" shirts, Kenny Omega immediately tweeted the Young Bucks that he had a new shirt idea.
• The New Day are part of a big Miz TV segment when R-Truth comes out to babble about a nonexistent "US Open Challenge." As Truth and Miz argue, Kofi can be seen with his head in his hands and a look on his face saying "I used to team with this loon?"
• The New Day trying to inspire their Survivor Series team during a show in Scotland by dressing up in kilts.
  • Xavier brings out a set of bagpipes he identifies as "Francesca's Scottish cousin, Agnes." He then admits he has absolutely no idea how to play the pipes.
• Big E owns a New Day hater on Twitter.
• Big E gets an interesting gift from McDonald's.
• The night after losing their tag team titles to Cesaro and Sheamus, the New Day were a bit downcast, but they still made another great joke on Charlotte Flair (who won the Women's Championship the same night from Sasha Banks again, this time in an Ironman match) mixed in with their positive attitudes.
  Xavier Woods: After all, Ric Flair couldn't have become the sixteen time world champion without losing fifteen times.
  Big E: That'll be Charlotte in a month.
  • Unfortunately, WWE didn't like Big E calling attention to the way they had booked the Charlotte/Sasha Banks feud, so they cut his quip from re-airings of the segment.
• At Fastlane 2016, during the Cutting Edge Peep Show, Edge and Christian are confronted by the League of Nations and declare that the ring is theirs, with Sheamus telling them to leave the ring. But E&C are not done yet.
  Edge: You know, guys. We, uh, we were gonna give these people a 5-second pose tonight...but, you know, maybe you four should take that honor.
  Christian: Right. So, for the benefit of those with flash photography...Cleveland, we give you...
  Edge: ...the international house of dumbasses.
  (The New Day jumps around while laughing)
  Kofi: Hey, hey. Bomber Wade. Bomber Wade. When we said "turn the other cheek", THIS is what we meant.
  (Xavier Woods sits playing his trombone)
  Christian: And right after Fastlane...right after Fastlane...Watch (Beat) our show! Watch our show! Watch our show! Watch our show!
  • For bonus points, Christian delivered his last line to the rhythm of The New Day's own "New Day rocks!"
• On October 3, 2016, Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens challenged The New Day to a tag team title match. The New Day then reacts with horror when they are sequentially put on The List of Jericho: Kofi for questioning Jericho and Owens' friendship, Big E for the concept of a "champions' huddle", and then Xavier Woods for chuckling at the other two making The List.
• After the leak of a certain rather *ahem* controversial bit of video featuring Xavier and Paige, the New Day snuck in a very cheeky but subtle nod to the controversy despite WWE's attempts to remain tight-lipped about it at the start of a promo about the upcoming Wrestlemania 33:
  Big E: (after several awkward seconds) So is there something you want to... tell us about?
  Xavier: (Beat) ...Wrestlemania! (carries on with the promo)
• The New Day arriving to introduce Wrestlemania 33 decked out in gear based off classes in Final Fantasy XIV, who had a sponsorship deal with Wrestlemania; Xavier Woods was a bard (fitting), Kofi was a Red Mage, and Big E was a Samurai. Michael Cole, of all people, is the one who notes that 1) there are chocobo and moogles decorating the New Day's ice cream truck and 2) that he's a Final Fantasy fan apparently. Huh.
  • The day after that, Kofi and Xavier decide to cosplay as the Legion of Doom...and that involves shoulder armor in pink and baby blue and spikes replaced with ice cream cones.
• Upon encountering the Fashion Police (Tyler Breeze and Fandango who are going through a monochrome filter), they enter the room and note something...
  Big E: We're black and white...we're black and...(sees the Fashion Police) white.
• The rap battle between the New Day and The Usos on the 7/4/17 edition of Smackdown had some outright hilarious lines from all sides. However, special mention must be given to Xavier Woods to the two epic burns he laid on the Usos toward the end:
  Xavier: "Now, Jim, Jim, Jim! You and your brother, you're tag champs. You turned the Universe into believers! But please always remember you were absolutely nothing 'til your wife put you on Total Divas!"
  *pause as the New Day's crew freaks out and guest host Wale says "Feel the glow!" several times*
  Xavier: "Listen, listen, hold it down, hold it down. Y'all used to wear face paint; bright colors; you know, like showmen. And then, all of a sudden, oh, man, you saw the New Day coming up on the horizon, looking like a bad omen! And your boys, the New Day, we some WARRIORS, with no masters; call us ronins!"
  Kofi: "Slow it down!"
  Xavier: "I SAAAAIIIID, we don't use our cell phones when we're international, 'cause that's roaming!"
  Kofi: "Slow it down!"
  Xavier: "I SAID, y'all should get back to doing what you do best, and that's carrying bags for who?"
  *pause as crowd starts chanting "Who? Who? Who?"*
  Xavier: "That's carrying bags...FOR ROMAN!"
  *mass freakout occurs, with Xavier mock Superman Punching Kofi*
• The New Day and Bayley meet each other. Hilarity Ensues when Dana Brooke appears to spoil the fun and the four of them roast her.
• By Friday of WrestleMania weekend in 2018, Big E was done with morning interviews, deciding instead to just lay out on the floor.
  • And what was their entrance for Wrestlemania 34 this year? Summoning little people dressed as pancakes.
• In the WWE Smackdown edition before Money in the Bank 2018, after a Match between Rusev and Samoa Joe with The Miz as special guest referee, The Miz lays out Rusev and proceeds to climb a ladder in order to retrieve the MITB briefcase, to build momentum. Miz then goes to the commentator table and opens it, only to find pancakes instead of the contract. Miz came to the conclusion that this was a TND maneuver, as he has been dealing with them for the past month prior, and immediately yells out their name in a furious roar. The New Day are seen backstage laughing.
  • Even better, if we stick with Kayfabe logic, The New Day knew that someone was going to climb that day and try building some momentum, but they also had the foresight to think someone might open it, and decided to place some pancakes, knowing that the one who opened it will know it's them, but for it to be the Miz to open it, the man they had beef with all month leading up to Money in the Bank... that was just icing on the cake.
• The New Day are celebrating winning their fifth tag team title when who should come out but...KING BOOKER!
  • Big E is upset he's not given a cool title by Booker like Kofi and Woods.
  Big E: My King...you just went Full Saxton on me!
  • Then they all try to do their own spin-a-roonies after requesting King Booker to indulge in one for the crowd. Both Kofi and Xavier were successful with theirs. Big E? Not so much.
• The New Day come out to promote the then-upcoming Super Showdown in Australia. This leads to Xavier dressing up like the Crocodile Hunter and talking in a bad Aussie accent. Kofi cuts him off saying "you shouldn't be putting on a fake accent. That's really disrespectful." Xavier and Big E give him "really?" looks.
• Who do the New Day dress up as for Halloween 2018? The Brood!
  • At the end of the match, as the New Day is leaving the ring in victory, Kofi ends up tripping on the apron and falls onto the floor, resulting in color commentary Corey Graves having a field day with the botch.
  • For some additional hilarity, Xavier coming out as the "Rated R Superstar". Let that sink in for a moment...
• On 5/22/2019: Big E returns (he had a torn meniscus six weeks ago) but there's a hiccup when it's first revealed that it's Bobby Roode dressed in the New Day's uniform and his cape. Cue Woods and Kingston shooing Roode back to the backstage.
  • Later on, Sami Zayn attempting to insult New Day only for Xavier to repeatedly interrupt him with the trombone.
• The New Day's Skittle's commercial.
• Halloween 2019. Xavier is out with a leg injury that might sideline him for a year. The bright side? He gets to cosplay, appropriately enough, as Professor Xavier, while Kofi is Wolverine, and Big-E goes as Magneto.
• Big E claims he and Kofi have to ensure the New Day become seven-time tag champions as "how else are we going to catch up to Charlotte Flair?"
• During the COVID-19 pandemic, WWE were forced to hold shows in an empty Perfomance Center, so Big E altered his intro accordingly: "AAAAAAAAAAWWWW PEOPLE AT HOME!"
• For a while, Big E made it his mission to pelt Corey Graves with his bulky jacket every week, why did he keep doing this? When he did it the first time, no one told him to stop and he found it funny, so he kept doing it.
• The entire Netflix interactive film Escape the Undertaker is full of this.
  • Why are the New Day even at the Undertaker's house? They want to combine the power of his urn with the power of positivity.
  • Upon approaching fog, Big E points out that it's Undertaker's fog and that's a no for him.
  • Upon finding a morgue in the deadman's house, Xavier questions who would have such a thing. E snarks that of course it's possible; this is the Undertaker we're seeing.
  • The tag on the corpse reads Isaac Yankem DDS.
  • E calling the Deadman "Uncletaker".
• During Wrestlemania 38's pre-show, in preview of an upcoming match against the trio of Sheamus, Butch (the newly renamed Pete Dunne), and Ridge Holland, Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston cut a promo in which Woods calls the trio "Butch, Botch, and Bitch", which is darkly hilarious if you know the context. ^note This was a jab at the unfortunate botch from Ridge Holland that legitimately fractured Big E's neck several weeks prior, resulting in his absence.
• On the September 5th 2022 version of RAW, Kofi and Xavier are off in a fatal four way tag team match and have to fight one another. Instead of brawling, Xavier just lies on his back so Kofi gets the pin leading to all three teams also in this match to break it up. Both of them were counting on everyone to rally together so that they can clear the ring and then tackle them outside.
• Crosses over with CMOA, but when New Day saw the return of the Dudley Boyz, the slack-jawed looks of horror hid an ungodly amount of internal giddiness, knowing they were about to go up against one of the greatest tag-team duos of all time.

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