Calling all Grammar police!

Well, I've been posting corrections to wording errors in Get Help With English for the whole of February, and not once did I receive a reply. So I'm switching gears and seeing if this is a better place to try.

Dead Rising

Carlito Keyes

• (before) Asshole Victim: Played with; Carlito is by no means a good person, completely willing to kill thousands of innocent citizens to satisfy his lust for revenge. However, the American government killed everyone in his hometown to cover up their own scientific mistake, a mistake made to satiate their own greed, including his own parents. Carlito became a monster who deserved his final fate, but no one deserves to go through what he did to become that.

• (after) Asshole Victim: Played with; Carlito is by no means a good person, completely willing to kill thousands of innocent citizens to satisfy his lust for revenge. However, the American government murdered everyone in his hometown to cover up their own scientific mistake made to satiate their greed and gluttony, including his own & Isabella's parents. Carlito became a monster who deserved his final fate, but no one deserves to go through what he did to become that.

Doctor Barneby

• (before) Grumpy Old Man: Barnaby's first inclination on meeting Frank is to shriek at him through the barring gates trying to swash him with his walking stick through it. Later interactions with the doctor shows his disposition did not improve with time, still being the same cantankerous, dodgy and secretive sort.
• Hoist by His Own Petard: The horrific thesis Russel contemplated while working a world away from home came back to bite him with a vengeance. The creator and inventor of zombism for the sake of lasting life, inevitably fell victim to the nightmare he created in waking death. It doubles as fridge brilliance as in Dead Rising 4; he admits his own inquisitive nature would be the end of him when it came to the Willamette outbreak.
• And Then John Was a Zombie: What he eventually became after justifying his actions with the last gasp of life.
• Boom Head Shot: How he faces actual death after his infection takes hold by Brad's hand.
• Evil Old Folks: Took part in the experiments that created the zombie parasites that infected and killed numerous innocent people, making the worst mass murdering affliction known to man that slaughtered scores across two continents. All he was concerned about was feeding the gluttony of U.S. Citizens while researching into making mindless slave labor for the government he worked for to exploit and calling it a death cure.
• It's All About Me: The way he talks about procuring his own well being while countless thousands die off due to his past crimes come to light really shows he cannot see the world beyond himself.
• Jerkass Has a Point: He may have gotten a lot of people killed and ushered in multiple disasters, but Barnaby was trying to end world hunger, and pursue a viable method of halting human aging. Subverted, in part, given he was only seeking to feed greedy gutted rich Americana over the rest of the impoverished countries of the globe.

• (after) Grumpy Old Man: Barnaby shrieked and tried to attack Frank with his walking stick through the gates upon their first meeting. Later interactions showed his disposition towards others did not improve, as the doctor remained cantankerous and secretive.
• Hoist by His Own Petard: The horrific thesis Russel contemplated while working a world away from home came back to bite him with a vengeance. The creator and inventor of zombism for the sake of lasting life inevitably fell victim to the nightmare he created in waking death. It doubles as fridge brilliance as in Dead Rising 4; he admits his own inquisitive nature would be the end of him when it came to the Willamette outbreak.
• And Then John Was a Zombie: What he eventually became after justifying his actions with the last gasp of life.
• Boom Head Shot: How the doctor faces actual death after his infection takes hold by Brad's hand.
• Evil Old Folks: Took part in experiments that created the zombie parasites, which infected and killed scores of innocent people across two countries. All Barneby was concerned about was feeding the gluttony of U.S. Citizens while researching how to make slave fodder for the government; he worked for flat-out laborer exploitation for the sake of putting it towards a death cure.
• It's All About Me: The way he talks about prolonging his own well-being while countless thousands die off due to his past crimes coming to light really shows he cannot see the world beyond himself.
• Jerkass Has a Point: He may have gotten a lot of people killed and ushered in multiple disasters, but Barnaby was trying to end world hunger, and pursue a viable method of halting human aging. Subverted, in part, given he was only seeking to feed greedy, gutted wealthy Americans over the rest of the impoverished countries of the globe.

Dead Rising

Carlito Keyes

• Asshole Victim: Played with; Carlito is by no means a good person, completely willing to kill thousands of innocent citizens to satisfy his lust for revenge. However, the American government killed everyone in his hometown to cover up their own scientific mistake made to satiate their gluttony, including his & Isabella's parents. Carlito became a monster who deserved his final fate, but no one deserves to go through what he did to become that.

(#151)

My only corrections are that:

• Hoist by His Own Petard: [...] The creator and inventor of zombiism.

(Merriam-Webster spells it with two "i"s)

• The And Then John Was a Zombie example is partial context (I could imply it from the other examples, but it should mention that he was fighting the zombies)
• Same goes for Boom, Headshot!
• Evil Old Folks: [...] U.S. Ccitizens [...]

(should be lowercase unless it's a proper noun)

(#152)

I don't see any errors here.

(Not sure if I'm supposed to do this here but whatever)

Pantheon Wick Cleaning

(#153) Mmmmm, sound advice. I personally blame spellcheck for that U.S. citizen bit, but I might've done that out of habit. Thanks.

BTW, in regards to the context for those other statements. What would you change to make it better? I tried not to add too much to avoid the natter charge.

Edited by Ren698 on Mar 10th 2024 at 1:52:01 AM

I keep seeing dashes (—) used in different styles across the site, either with spaces before and after them, or without spaces before or after.

• Such as this example—which doesn't use spaces.
• Or this example — which does use spaces — and has more text that follows.

Personally, I think it should be with a space before and after the —, but there seems to be an even split on the wiki, so I can't tell if I'm supposed to correct one usage to the other or if both are acceptable.

The only mention I can find is in Wanton Cruelty to the Common Comma, which seems to suggest going with spaces on either side, but there's an example of the opposite (no spaces) in that very same section.

What's the consensus on this?

Avatar: Amethio (Pokemon Horizons)

I want to revise a couple of trope entries on character pages. A Warrior Exiled by the Hero and His Former Lover Sain

• Seven Deadly Sins: Sain positions himself as everything a hero is the strict opposite of in many aspects. That, on top of being a terrible leader and downright sucky best friend. His numerous faults posit as follows:
  • Pride: Often hides behind his status as the chosen Hero to justify his inflated egocentricities. Sain often carries himself as better than everyone else despite how incapable he well and truly is in hindsight. Because of this, he tends to rush mindlessly into situations, thinking delusions of being an Invincible Hero will see him through to the end.
  • Wrath: Sain is prone to uncontrolled angry outbursts when things don't go his way. This often harms his already dubious heroic image, given his lashing out at Soara or Lisa with excessive violence in public during a dungeon crawl he missed. He also went ballistic on some adventurers who (rightly) mocked his abilities after he'd been upped by the Manyuuu Brigade again.
  • Lust: Naturally, letting his genitalia make poor decisions for him, lusting after attractive women and wanting to screw them for fun, literally. It is this trait that ultimately results in his downfall and unending humiliation.
  • Envy: His primary driving force, aside from the above. Sain coveted more than his wandering eye and able hands could grasp; he desired the affectation and admiration of the females in his party. Craving the abject devotion of Toru's former girlfriend & fiance, Lisa, because Toru loved her more than anything, coming to hold disdainful jealousy over the Manyuu Brigade for constantly beating him to the punch at every praiseworthy event The Heroes party designed to accomplish.
  • Gluttony: Sain's Ultimate hunger revolves around an unquenchable appetite for power, fame, wealth, and glory. His excessive dalliance with every woman he lays his eyes on, as well as his tendency to cast the ones already in Sain's team/sex toy collection when they outlive their usefulness, is a testament to this fault.
  • Sloth: Aside from his general apathy for the people around him, the so-called Hero is a riveting incompetent who never truly measured up to his full potential. Veritably, Too Dumb to Live border-lining Lethally Stupid, Sain's misconception of his higher level and status compared to other adventurers, or people in general, tends to backfire on him repeatedly. This, coupled with being a weapons-grade moron whose base choices, tendency to forget pacing his combat abilities, never thinking things through when it comes to carrying out tasks and fueling his accomplishments, besides shifting blame for general ineptness and never once owning up to past mistakes capitalizes his failings as a man of importance.
  • Greed: As mentioned before, Sain wants it all for himself, from fortunes to concubines, notoriety, and beyond. There being no low, he won't stoop to get his hands on whatever he wants. Brainwashing his teammates against his old friend is just the tip of the iceberg.

MonsterVerse Monarch

[[folder:Mikael]]

Portrayed By: Alex Ferns

Appear In: Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire

The security and defense officer during the Hollow Earth expedition in Godzilla x Kong.

• Eaten Alive: How Mikael meets his end within a few hours of their Hollow Earth expedition. Too busy chewing out the team eccentrics to avoid being gobbled up by a tree.
• Epic Fail: His paltry attempt at establishing a pecking order with the rest of the group ends in him being Eaten Alive.
• Failed a Spot Check: Even with his fancy scanner, Mikeal still failed to do a proper look-see to avoid any present safety hazards. While angrily cussing out the team shaman, who picked it up right away for opposing his leadership.
• Humans Are Smelly: Trapper certainly thinks this of him.
• Karmic Death: He was an all-around ugly, pungent Jerkass with no respect for the people he traveled with, much less any titanic walking atom bombs or the natural world they represent. It comes off somewhat cathartic when Mikael ends up munched to bits by the very thing he'd underestimated.
• Red Shirt: Died early in in the first few
• Suddenly Shouting: When both Trapper and Bernie refuse to heed his commands and second guess his poor directional choices.

[[folder:Trapper]]

Portrayed By: DanStevens

Appear In: Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire

An eccentric animal healthcare acting as a veterinarian for the superspecies of the world. Reuniting with his old flame, Dr. Andrews, to help King with oral hygienic problems and rediscover his people & place within the Hollow Earth in Godzilla x Kong.

• Stealth Insult: Trapper cautiously but snidely comments on the stench given off in an area they spelunked towards while in the hollow earth. Stating it was more rank than even Mikael's own bad B.O.

Edited by Ren698 on Apr 8th 2024 at 11:09:34 AM

I have my doubts on whether or not the header to ValuesDissonance.Comic Books is grammatically corret:

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A lot of long-running heroes from both Marvel and DC Comics suffer this. The Golden Age in particular has cringe-worthy racist and sexist moments, especially in the Silver Age.

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I'd personally change the header to this:

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A lot of long-running heroes from both Marvel and DC Comics suffer this. The Golden and Silver Age in particular have especially cringe-worthy racist and sexist moments.

---

"Stand proud, Sukuna, you are strong." | He/Him

As written, it doesn't make sense unless the Silver Age is part of the Golden Age.

Edited by Tabs on Apr 15th 2024 at 12:46:11 PM

Resident Evil: The Marhawa Desire

[[folder:Gracia Delenikas]]

The Headmistress of Marhawa Academy dresses like a nun but rules Marhawa Academy with an iron fist. Harboring an insane obsession with protecting the academy's reputation, she summons her ex-boyfriend Doug Wright to the academy to discover the source of a bio-hazard outbreak on campus without the schoolgoers or the B.S.A.A. finding out.

• Dishonored Dead: While not her intention; this time, Gracia's machinations did nothing short of defecating all over the tragedy that'd befallen poor Nanan while lying about her transferring out of the academy. The headmistress even went so far as to keep Yoshihara's waiting and loving father in the dark about what had happened despite all the letters and phone calls he made inquiring about his daughter's well-being.

RoboCop The Series

[[folder:The OCP Chairman]]

• Honest Corporate Executive: To a surprising degree, given the kind of sleazy business venture he heads, in all honesty. The chairman dealt with a moral quandary or two several times yet always pulled through to do the right thing despite all his faults. For example, in the episode "Provision 22," of Robocop, he found some truly disturbing under-the-table conductions happening at a workers' disability finances movement called 'WebCare'. A patent in the company's name that'd been factored towards garnering extra funds for OCP by illicitly depriving its affiliates of job service, unemployment benefits, homestay funding, and pocketing any special pensions those apart of said welfare service might have for themselves after tricking them into signing on with it. Only growing more disgusted and appalled to learn that not only did the division employee exploit the local populace by absconding with people's benefits. But had forcibly re-educated those who rightfully complained about the faults of said same system, forcing them into unwitting compliance. Needless to say, The Chairmen personally sought to rectify the situation by firing the Slime Ball behind such a corporate scam before making a heartfelt apology to all the impoverished people her lies and misery capitalism had hurt.

Would like assistance with how best to fix this run-on sentence on NightmareFuel.Kirby And The Forgotten Land. I have already sent a grammar notifier to the troper who added it.

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• After defeating Chaos Elfilis's second form, we start to see shifting into various different animals before shrinking and shrinking, and becoming some light particles that then get sent back to Elfilin, while heart-warming that at least Elfilin could become whole again, we see that the various animals that try to escape from the orb before shrinking into oblivion, and remember, THOSE animals were the Members of the Beast Pack that got consummed along Leongar at Lab Discovera, and unlike Leongar, it's fair to say that these critters are long gone for good.

"As long as I have my comrades with me, I can do anything!" (She/Her) (Current Focus: Indentation cleanup)

I used Google Gemini to clean it up. Here are three versions:

1.

• After defeating Chaos Elfilis's second form, we see it begin to shift into various different animals. This continues until it shrinks down to nothing more than light particles that are then sent back to Elfilin. While it's heartwarming to see Elfilin become whole again, it's important to remember that the various animals we see trying to escape from the orb before shrinking into oblivion were the members of the Beast Pack who were consumed along with Leongar at Lab Discovera. Unlike Leongar, it's fair to say that these unfortunate creatures are gone for good.

2.

• After defeating Chaos Elfilis's second form, we see it begin to shift into various different animals. This continues until it shrinks and shrinks, eventually becoming light particles that are then sent back to Elfilin. While it's heartwarming that Elfilin could become whole again, we see a disturbing detail. The various animals that try to escape from the orb before shrinking into oblivion are, remember, the members of the Beast Pack that were consumed along with Leongar at Lab Discovera. Unlike Leongar, it's fair to say that these unfortunate creatures are gone for good.

3.

• After defeating Chaos Elfilis's second form, we see it begin to shift into various different animals. It then shrinks and shrinks, eventually becoming light particles that are sent back to Elfilin. While it's heartwarming that Elfilin could become whole again, this comes at a dark cost. We see the various animals that try to escape from the orb before shrinking into oblivion. Remember, these creatures were the members of the Beast Pack that were consumed along with Leongar at Lab Discovera. Unlike Leongar, it's fair to say that these unfortunate critters are gone for good.

Choose which one would be better. I would go with the first version. Let me know if other versions are better. Please feel free to tweak if necessary.

Edited by Nen_desharu on May 15th 2024 at 12:12:02 PM

Kirby is awesome.

On YMMV.Delicious In Dungeon, I rewrote a Superlative Dubbing entry as it the original one was awkwardly written. However, all the commas used have been changed to semicolons as shown below:

• Superlative Dubbing: The anime has a great English dub, with every character is perfectly casted and fitting their characters. Damien Haas embodies Laios' Cloudcuckoolander eagerness to eat monsters and explore the dungeon; Emily Rudd practically is Marcille,^note which is rather impressive since this is her first ever voice acting role really conveying her book-wormy Ditzy Genius nature who feels out-of-her-element throughout the journey as she is forced to put up with everyone; SungWon Cho perfectly capture's Senshi's friendly, survivalist persona who at times has Skewed Priorities; and Casey Mongillo embodies Chilchuck's Consummate Professionalism and Jerkass Façade. The rest of the cast is also great, with some standouts such as Lisa Reimold's Falin, Cedric L. Williams's Kabru, Mick Lauer's Shuro, and Laura Stahl's Izutsumi.

I don't know if this runs afoul of the "first come first serve" rule so I'm asking here if it is punctually correct.

She/Her | Currently cleaning N/A

Since there are commas within the examples, separating them with semicolons makes things easier to read. (Also, I've cleaned up the first sentence a bit further.)

Resident Evil 6

Derek C. Simmons

• Disproportionate Retribution: What his murder of the U.S. President adds up to is even lampshaded by Helena towards the end of the game. To prevent a preconceived level of havoc, certain revelations might've entailed had Benford gone through with his veracity speech. Simmons masterminded an actual crisis to preempt a plausible one, from which things only further spiraled out of Simmons's control due to a litany of poor choices made along the way.
  Helena: So to avoid one possible disaster, you create another? No matter how many people die!?

Could anybody tell me if this needs any corrections?