YMMV / The Prayer Warriors

• Accidental Innuendo: Largely thanks to rampant Rouge Angles of Satin. In many of the stories, we have corpses being eaten by foul breasts.
  • In The Evil Gods I, the author declares himself as a "striper of the lotd!"
  • In Threat of Satanic Commonism, the heroes meet with the head "breast"^note Presumably "priest" of Moscow.
  • In The Evil Gods II, our heroes go to "Washing Dick," and get some boobs from witches.
  • In The Titans Strike Back, we hear it's a co-story with Attack of the Spank.
  • For someone who regularly has gay people executed, this line from Jerry sounds very, um, suspect.
  Jerry: I do not like girls. I want strong Christian men.^Context Jerry's wife apparently miscarried, and she hopes that her next child will be a daughter.
• Anvilicious: Disagree with the author about anything? DIE. The stories aren't at all subtle about this message.
• Ass Pull:
  • The author having to tell us in parenthesis that God told Jerry about The Mole midscene in The Evil Gods I.
  • The retconning of Michael's death at the end of Battle with the Witches. The narrator (who's most often Michael in this fic) pulls a Taking You with Me on Dumbledore, but Michael turns out to be alive in the next chapter. Granted, the series is fairly vague about who the POV character is at any given point.
  • When their weapons and prayers fail to defeat Lola, Draco prays for God (never mind that Lola had the ability to make that impossible) to turn his sword into a holy vacuum cleaner, which sucks her up and kills her.
• Bile Fascination: Really, the only reason why most people would even read this fic. The "heroes" are unheroic, the author holds insane beliefs, and there are multiple grammar and spelling errors to boot. But then, that is why this fic is even read in the first place.
• Big-Lipped Alligator Moment: There's an extraordinarily pointless moment in Threat of Satanic Commonism where a guy appears out of nowhere and rapes Ebony, so Percy then promptly kills her for being Defiled Forever. This wouldn't be a BLAM if Ebony didn't show up alive and well in that very same chapter, making the whole thing come across as just rape for the sake of rape.
• Canon Defilement: Of Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Harry Potter and My Little Pony, often in the most literal sense of the word. Even history gets defiled.
• Designated Hero: Our "heroes" are self-righteous, racist, homophobic, misogynistic mass-murderers who made Stalin look sympathetic in universe. They are never seen doing anything positive let alone anything heroic. We never see them feeding the poor, healing the sick, or even stopping to Pet the Dog. They get rid of the "villains," and make everyone convert to Christianity, but the Satanists were actually better people than the Prayer Warriors were, and the conversions are almost all coerced thanks to our heroes' policy of killing those who refuse.
• Designated Villain: Most of the villains are this, since their "crimes" are often things many people would consider harmless, or simply not choosing to follow the Prayer Warriors' murderous ideology. One interesting example is how Percy Jackson does nothing evil while on the side of the villains, but one of his first acts after converting is to stone Tyson to death for refusing to convert. It's easier to list the exceptions, such as Jupiter, rather than the straight examples.
• Esoteric Happy Ending: Satan is defeated, but the United States is now an oppressive theocracy (and in the later installments, England, Ireland and other countries seem to be following suit), Harry Potter has been killed while Voldemort is still on the loose, and a very unpopular Tsar has been restored to the throne, messing up history. Um...yay?
• Everyone Is Satan in Hell: The original reason why this fic series was written.
• Fridge Horror: A nigh-unstoppable group of people who follow a Scary Amoral Religion which worships an Eldritch Abomination invades Camp Half-Blood, kills or brainwashes everyone there (and in some cases, resurrects people just to kill them again), and to top it off, use the brainwashed campers to kill the Greek gods, some of which are their parents. And that's just the first story. Put simply, this fic, under a different author, would have made a horrific Dark Fic.
• Ho Yay: For someone who condemns homosexuality this much, Jerry has a suspicious amount of subtext with Percy, even more than with his supposed love interest Mary.
• Informed Wrongness: The narration has to tell us just how wrong everything the Satanists do is, thanks to all the Offstage Villainy. Often, it refuses to even specify what sort of "satanic" or "wrong" things the people the Prayer Warriors kill are doing just before their deaths.
• Jerkass Woobie: Grover keeps coming back from the dead and getting killed off in many brutal ways. It's almost enough to forget that he's also one of the Prayer Warriors, especially considering he doesn't accomplish that much for them.
  • Meta-example: Noah Brown, whether or not he actually exists or was made up by the troll who created this. In the chapters written by him, his notes are every bit as over the top self-righteous as Thomas Brown's, until he came out as bi. He had to run away from home to avoid his brother's wrath (and Thomas was supposedly out looking for him), and on top of everything inspired Jupiter's characterisation, as Thomas felt like spiting his brother.
• Moral Event Horizon:
  • Jerry crosses it by having his wife executed for adultery, first by being thrown off a tower, then stoned to death, then beheaded. It didn't stick, but it shows how far he is willing to go to punish sinners.
  • Michael crosses it by carrying out Jerry's sentence on Mary.
  • Percy Jackson crosses it by stoning his half-brother Tyson to death for not converting. Ironically, this is worse than anything he did as a villain. And if that didn't do it, he later kills Ebony because she was raped.
  • Ebony crosses it by killing Harry, then killing Ron for finding his body.
  • Rachael crosses it by not only killing Idiosy for hacking, but, after she has escaped from his mansion, burning it down and killing all his guards and wives, which is completely unnecessary.
  • Jason crosses it by putting napalm down Socrates' throat, then after proving that he's not a god, leaving him to have a slow death by burning alive.
  • Draco, for all his wearing leather pants, so to speak, crosses it by leading a mob with the intention of killing the entire British Royal Family, "men women children and all". He succeeds in killing the Queen, and plans on hunting the rest down after they escape.
  • The act that makes Dumbledore stop being a Designated Villain, at least for a moment, is having Noah executed by being stoned to death because he prayed to God and Satan. Notice that the Prayer Warriors approve of this.
  • John Lennon crosses it by nailing a group of Christians to corpses and sets them on fire.
  • In his first appearance, Jupiter tortures Annabeth and Grover to death, and then does unspeakable things to their dead bodies, mostly For the Evulz- notice that he doesn't even bother interrogating Annabeth before he kills her.
• Nausea Fuel:
  • The fact that the Prayer Warriors repeatedly point out that they don't bury the enemy's dead. One has to imagine all those bodies, laying around rotting and getting eaten by scavengers.
  • Some of the death scenes.
    • Virtually any time someone is stoned to death, especially if you're familiar with how it works in Real Life, as it's a long and painful death.
    • Chiron is killed and eaten by the residents of Camp Half-Blood.
    • "Idiot" and "Benjamin" are impaled and set on fire, and cut to pieces and fed to a dog, respectively.
    • Ginny is blown to pieces by an explosion.
    • Grover's first death in Threat of Satanic Commonism; both his legs get broken and he gets disemboweled by a spear.
  • Zia tortures William to the point at which he starts repeatedly vomiting.
• Nightmare Fuel: Religious extremists taking over a country by force in modern times can be pretty disturbing, especially considering the extremists' very narrow definition of the "right religion," and what they do to people who don't follow it to the letter.
• So Bad, It Was Better: The chapters written by Ebony are less preachy, less poorly spelled, better-written and much less disturbing, and consequentially much less fun to read than the chapters written by Thomas. On the other hand, there are gems such as Socrates being referred to as a Roman god, and in the one chapter Noah proofread, Michael struggling to suppress his feelings of attraction to Ginny.
• Strangled by the Red String: All of the couples, which include Jerry/Mary, Percy/Clarisse, and Luke/Rachael. Draco/Ebony is the only one given any buildup, and they still get together very quickly by most standards, only for Draco to inexplicably marry Hermione later.
• Surprisingly Improved Sequel: The parts of The Evil Gods II in which Ebony was writing. While it's still preachy and has a touch of sexism in the beginning, it's not an Author Filibuster like the previous three installments. The characters act more like human beings instead of mouthpieces, the dialogue is not robotic, and the heroes don't curb stomp the first bad guy they see. In other words, if Thomas stayed out of it, it would have been a regular fanfic.
• They Wasted a Perfectly Good Character: Voldemort, who not only was more in-character than most of the others (although that isn't saying much), was also set up as an enemy to both Hogwarts and the Prayer Warriors. His involvement as a third faction could have made the story more interesting.
• They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot:
  • Percy Jackson and friends being attacked by members of a Scary Amoral Religion who want to kill the Greek pantheon in the name of their own god could have made a good Cosmic Horror Story. Sadly, it's an Author Tract.
  • So would a story about Hogwarts being destroyed by a group of heavily-armed Muggles who have found out about the wizarding world and want to Burn the Witch!.
    • Even going with the story that exists, Michael's infiltration into Hogwarts might have been more interesting if he found himself forced to reconsider his beliefs, and possibly become what he was pretending to be. Instead, he simply apologizes to God every time he's forced to do something un-Christian, and purposely fails when he can.
  • Or a bunch of McCarthyist Americans armed with modern weapons who go back in time to the Russian Revolution and try to prevent the Romanovs from being driven out.
  • Hell, even the actual premise of the fic has promise! A group of very religious Christians clashing with other worlds that obviously conflict their views. Written by a smart and open minded writer, this could have been a very interesting look at both the fictional universe they traveled to and also Christianity itself bringing up topics of faith, reliability, and such. But of course, that's not what we got at all.
• Unintentionally Sympathetic: The villains come across as lovable losers or regular people. In addition, they also give women and homosexuals rights, and allow their followers to have sexual freedom.
• Unintentionally Unsympathetic: ...And our "heroes" ruthlessly and remorselessly murder innocent people for daring to not share their narrow, hate-filled views on the world. The only reason they get away with everything is because they somehow managed to enslave God.

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