YMMV / The Not So Short Second Life of Bree Tanner

• Funny Moments: When Bree kicks Alec off the Lutheran Cathedral, now THAT takes some sheer gall.
  Bree: I was optimistic, though. If I could outrun a werewolf, I could outrun a fourteen year old bloodsucking anesthesiologist, right?
• Jerkass Woobie: Alec and Jane have a rather heavy Tear Jerker backstroy that makes you want to hug and cuddle them, and then you meet them.
• Moment of Awesome: See Funny Moments above.
  Bree: I was optimistic, though. If I could outrun a werewolf, I could outrun a fourteen year old bloodsucking anesthesiologist, right?
• Romantic Plot Tumor: The story starts off exciting, fairly fast-paced and plot driven, with Bree traveling around the world looking for her lost friend Fred. It skips out on nearly all of the wedding scenes and prep at the beginning of Breaking Dawn, and thankfully doesn't pause to linger on Bella and Edward's relationship. Six chapters in, Bree meets Alec and the story grinds to a halt for at least another five chapters to focus on the romance. Then apparently the tumor became malignant and killed the story. Of course, given that this is Twilight fanfiction, it's not all that unexpected.
  • Also, watching Bree and Alec fight can be pretty entertaining in itself.
• Strangled by the Red String: Though Bree is dead set on fighting it as long as she can it was kind sealed by this line from
  Alec: She was one of my kind, yes, but one of a kind as well…which was peculiar since threads of my cold, empirical logic saw nothing remarkable about her in the least. She was a girl – my age or near to – with the enchanting beauty typical of all female vampires but not to the same memorizing extent as Heidi. Nonetheless, there was some ethereal quality to the girl that I couldn't place anymore than I could ignore.
  • Kind of justified, in that Alec was bored out of his skull at the opening of his side of the story, and actively contemplated turning one of the humans he was going to eat, just so he would have someone else his own age to talk to. Plus, it seems like all Twilight vampires are vulnerable to the same romantic whims of fate.

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