YMMV / The Dark Tower (2017)

• Angst? What Angst?: Jake doesn't take very long to get over his folks' murder, about 15 minutes sees him ready to run off for more adventures with Roland. This might be understandable with his step-father, who Jake had a sour relationship with, but he was completely distraught about his mother's death.
• Audience-Alienating Premise: Stephen King fans were put-off by the film's excessive simplification of the plot, but at the same time, it was too complicated for casual movie fans to enjoy. As a result, the film was a box office disappointment.
• Awesome Music: Everywhere. Tom Holkenborg composed a pretty impressive hybrid of High Fantasy and Spaghetti Western.
• Badass Decay: The Doorkeeper in the house on Dutch Hill. Compare to the novels, where it took the combined efforts of Roland, Eddie, and Susannah to help pull Jake through to Mid-World; here, all it takes is some determined shouting from Jake (powered by his Shine, but still).
• Complete Monster: Walter o' Dim, real name Walter Padick and known as The Man in Black, is an Evil Sorcerer who abducts multiple "special" children to use their psychic energy to try to annihilate the Dark Tower which protects existence from the hungry monstrosities that dwell outside reality. This is a process that leaves the children "burnt out" by the end, where Walter discards them. Having a dark enmity with the Gunslinger Roland Deschain, Walter destroys Roland's home, killing all his fellow Gunslingers, the last being Roland's own father who Walter murders in front of him. When 11-year-old Jake Chambers escapes Walter's men, Walter punishes them by forcing them to kill each other and sends soldiers to destroy an entire village Roland and Jake have taken refuge at. Murdering the local seer to get their location, Walter ambushes Jake's stepfather and mother, murdering both—the latter by burning her alive—and draws a smiley face and taunting message from her ashes for Jake to find. When Jake is captured, Walter attempts to use him to bring down the Dark Tower and start the apocalypse while facing Roland in a final battle.
• Critical Dissonance: Critics were not fans of the movie, giving it a scathing 16% on Rotten Tomatoes. However, regular audiences were more forgiving, giving it an about average 55%.
• Crosses the Line Twice: Walter burning Jake's mother alive? Horrifying. Taunting him by drawing a smiley face in her ashes? Hilarious.
• Heartwarming Moments:
  • Roland teaching Jake how to fire a gun, whilst they both recite the Gunslinger oath together.
  • After discovering the the burnt remains of Jake's mother, Roland is incredibly gentle and paternal with Jake. Softly instructing Jake to close his mind to his shine, both so Walter cannot track Jake and so Jake won't be forced to witness his mother's gruesome murder, and then gently picking him up like a small child to carry him away.
  • After pulling off a sick trickshot to save Jake from Walter's minions, Jake rushes to hug Roland in thanks and fear, despite believing Roland doesn't like him.
  • The development of Jake and Roland's relationship in general. While Roland starts out harsh, dismissive, and nearly violent with Jake, he ends the film a warm and protective adoptive Papa Wolf to him.
• Ho Yay: In the spirit of the books (especially in The Gunslinger), the Man in Black gets into Roland's personal space (physical and psychological) pretty frequently. And then there's the "tall, dark, and handsome" line. The film even ends with the two essentially battling it out for control of a young child, giving almost a bitter divorced energy.
• It's Short, So It Sucks!: When the film was revealed to be 95 minutes long, a lot of people expressed concern that that's not nearly enough to truly tell this story.
• Just Here for Godzilla: Quite a few viewers announced that Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey playing the adult leads was their sole motivation for watching this movie.
• Moment of Awesome: The way Roland kills the Man in Black. Despite shooting at him, the Man in Black merely uses his magic to catch the bullets. He's able to do this even when Roland uses his surroundings to ricochet his shots at him. Roland gets around this by shooting one bullet at the Man in Black, then shoots a second bullet to ricochet off nearby debris. When the Man in Black tries to catch the first bullet, the second bullet knocks into it, and deflects the first bullet into his heart. Roland's then able to empty the rest of his gun into him and cap it off with a headshot. Especially cathartic for those who didn't like how the villain was dispatched in the final book.
• So Okay, It's Average: While many critics agree that the film was not particularly good, they do praise the actors' performances. The general consensus is that the film is serviceable on its own merits, but is not a worthy adaptation of the novels.
• Tear Jerker: The part where Jake returns home only to find not only did Walter kill his step-father, but he incinerated his mother on the spot. Aside from writing a friendly message on the wall with her ash, what twists the knife more is Jake can't even look upon her face one last time.
  • There's a Hope Spot where Jake uses his Shining to see into the past, out of the vain hope that Walter didn't really kill his mother and it's all just a cruel trick. But Roland stops Jake, knowing that if they use the Shining, they'll only give themselves away. So all they can do is assume the worst and accept that Jake's mother is dead.
• Took the Bad Film Seriously: Leaning into the Ability over Appearance factor, Idris Elba is considered by critics and reviewers to be one of the few bright spots in an otherwise mediocre movie.
• They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot: The film is a Broad Strokes adaptation of the first book, with a bit of the third thrown in, but leaves out a fair number of plot points and occurrences from the original, even ones that would be important later, basically only keeping Roland, the Man in Black, Jake, and the Dark Tower itself. Possibly justifiable in that this is actually a Stealth Sequel instead of a remake where events are implied to be taking a better turn than the novel.
  • During the climax, when Jake (telepathically) recites the gunslinger oath to boost Roland's morale, the movie could've shown Roland overcoming the trauma of his father's death. Walter killed Roland's father before his eyes for the exact purpose that Roland would be too shell-shocked by the memory to remember his father. And there could've been one part where Roland remembers his father's dying expression, then recalls his father as he was.