- Kayfabe News delivers fair, balanced and honest wrestling journalism in much the same way that World Wrestling Entertainment delivers fair, balanced and honest athletic competition. That is, not at all.
Described by Mick Foley as "The Onion for wrestling fans", ''Kayfabe News
is a satirical news website with a particular focus on Professional Wrestling and any current goings-on they can wring jokes and snark out of.
Operating as a text article-based website from around 2012, Kayfabe News expanded into the realm of video reporting via their Youtube channel, hosted by charismatic anchor Simon Mil- ahem...Philip N. Marx.
Kayfabe News contains examples of:
- Adam Westing: Mick Foley has a guest appearance in one episode where he insists that The Undertaker throwing him off of the Hell in a Cell in 1998 was all fake.
- Archive Panic: Invoked for laughs with, "WWE fans prepare for RAW season by binge-watching all previous seasons"
- Bad Liar: "I am not out of touch," McMahon insists via TOUT.
- Bait-and-Switch: "CONFIRMED! This man WILL be at Wrestlemania, with a picture of CM Punk. The man in question is actually a random fan in the background of the photo.
- Captain Obvious: Their report on why The Undertaker lost at Wrestlemania 30, which they treat as a big reveal with a degree of tension: "The outcomes of all professional wrestling matches are predetermined by match makers and agreed upon by the participants. And that's why The Undertaker lost. How about that?"
- Celebrity Resemblance: Played for Laughs regarding the similarities between Philip N. Marx and Simon Miller.
- Easter Egg: They once claimed to be revealing a clever WWE easter egg that fans probably missed: It's that the name "Paul Bearer" is a pun. (they would issue a correction in a later video that it wasn't)
- Follow the Leader: Parodied in-universe with, RAW SPOILER: WWE to unveil new All Entire World (AEW) Championship
- Freeze-Frame Bonus: The long list of corrections at the start of, "WWE Raw expanding to five hours in 2020", particularly when you look for Call Backs such as, "Ric Flair did not just lose his virginity, "WWE is not planning an event in Mordor" and "'Paul Bearer' is not a pun"..
- Fun with Acronyms: According to them, NXT stands for, "Newbies eXamined by Trips"
- Literal-Minded: "All 83 trillion species in universe celebrate their new champion", in reference to the Universal Championship.
- They have confirmation from the Vatican that Hell really is inside a cell.
- Mondegreen Gag: Shows up as the last of their long list of corrections - "Seth Rollins' theme does not open with someone screaming "Bernie Town".
- One-Steve Limit:
- Ignored when discussing Adam Cole - they are quick to say that he is the son of Michael Cole, having conducted an interview to gain insight into what Adam was like when he was a Bay Bay.
- Similarly, they say that Pac is the current gimmick of the wrestler formerly known as X-Pac.
- Pun: A frequent form of their humour.
- In one video where they promise to reveal a huge John Cena spoiler, they show a picture of John Cena standing next to a car with a spoiler attached to the back.
- "WWE refuses to reduce Corbin footprint"
- Lampshaded in, "This WWE WrestleMania spoiler seems legit - and it's terrifying!", when Philip has to explain their schtick to the "Internet Research Agency":
Philip: ''..."Dems vows to take your Smoking Guns". (sigh) Alright, folks, that's what it says here. Libtard snowflakes are demanding much stricter control on Billy Gunn and Bart Gunn- I'm sorry, this...this makes no sense! (finger to earpiece) Yes, it is a headline that uses a pun to take a satirical jab at a socio-political topic. Yes, I know that's what we do here at Kayfabe News, but it's just...it's just not very clever." - Punny Name: Philip N. Marx (to say nothing of his relatives)
- Shameless Self-Promoter: "Internet breaks after Kayfabe News launches YouTube show"
- Take That!: Frequently. Specific examples include:
- Towards transphobic viewers of AEW complaining about Nyla Rose with, "Transgender wrestler has “unfair advantage,” argues imbecile about rigged sport"
- Many towards the WWE Video Games, such as "WWE 2K20 so realistic you’ll completely zone out during the second hour"
- Towards RAW's running time with, "Tonight’s episode of Firefly Fun House to be accompanied by two hours and 56 minutes of other stuff"
- "That guy you couldn't stand in high school is a WWE commentator now"
- Towards transphobic viewers of AEW complaining about Nyla Rose with, "Transgender wrestler has “unfair advantage,” argues imbecile about rigged sport"
- Take That, Audience!: Frequently, such as...
- "An idiotic four-year-old 'mark' doesn't realize wrestling is a work"
- "Transgender wrestler has "unfair advantage", argues imbecile about rigged sport"
- ""I watch wrestling ironically", fan lies to attractive woman"
- "AEW is "best promotion ever", insists man who has never seen AEW"
- "Wrestling fan struggles to reach vertical base"
- 10-Minute Retirement: "Undertaker to Wrestle "One Final Retirement Match", Followed by Several More"
- The Unreveal: A report on how the poorly-received ending to the main event at Hell in a Cell 2019 actually makes sense is covered up by technical difficulties.
- Philip is about to mention where the physical WWE Hall of Fame is, but loses his train of thought with a sneeze.
"Remember, it's not Fake News...it's Unreal."
