"This whole planet is a bad day.
"
"— Samus Aran
Metroid: Third Derivative is a Metroid-themed Sprite Comic created by Reynard in December 2003 and hosted by Bob and George. The comic takes place some time after Metroid Prime 2: Echoes. Samus Aran has traced the Phazon to its source planet and she travels there to eliminate the source of Phazon once and for all.
Metroid: Third Derivative contains examples of:
- Abhorrent Admirer: Mother Brain for Ridley.
- Abnormal Ammo: The Kinetic Beam, Phase Beam, and the Mega Missile are just a few of the weapons Samus wields.
- Actually Pretty Funny: When a Space Pirate attempts to strengthen Ridley by integrating him with Phazon, Ridley complains about the whole Meta Ridley thing and compares himself to Coca-Cola ("Classic Ridley, not New Ridley"). When the Pirate then quips that that would make Phazon the Crystal Pepsi of the scenario, Ridley lets out a brief chuckle before saying he gets to live (which is really something, considering this is Ridley).
- Air-Vent Passageway: Samus with the Morph Ball up until Phazon corruption damaged her Varia Suit and required emergency repairs destroying the Morph Ball in the process.
- Another Dimension: Subverted by Samus blowing up a time portal with a Super Missile.Samus: I'll jump into most swirling vortexes, but I draw the line at time travel.
- Are We There Yet?: Ridley is not enjoying his space flight.
- Arm Cannon: Samus's signature weapon, capable of firing various beam and missile weaponry.
- Ass Shove: Implied to have accidentally occurred with one of Squish's pincers:
- Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: Subverted. Kraid makes various appearances in the strip, but seems to be unable to leave his room.
- Backtracking: Lampshaded by Samus when Joey asked if they are lost upon revisting a location.Samus: We are backtracking. Is that understood?
- Bag of Spilling: Because of the Phazon-intense nature of Nemesis, Samus had to reconfigure her Power Suit for the toxic environment that rendered much of her equipment incompatible with the new reconfiguration.
- Big Bad: Dark Samus. She has a vendetta against Samus due to the events of Metroid Prime 2: Echoes.
- Big Damn Heroes: Joey during Samus's first battle against Dark Samus.
- Body Horror: Those unfortunate to be infected by Phazon and survive. Also in a Call-Back, JD gives the excuse that the Morph Ball project of the Space Pirates referenced in Metroid Prime was revived.
- Brainwashed and Crazy: Squish. Thanks to grabbing Dark Samus during her original battle against Samus, Dark Samus was able to brainwash him and sic him against Samus. Also B'yayk thanks to Phazon corruption.
- Cheek Copy: Joey seems to have a problem with this.Pirate 1: Xeroxes of his ass. Everywhere.
Pirate 2: The machine is still printing them out! Kill it now! - Colon Cancer: Parodied in this filler comic.
- The Corruption: Phazon. It can kill most lifeforms, but those resistant to it may mutate and/or be given new abilities.
- The Corrupter: Dark Samus. Any being that comes into contact with her can be controlled into doing her bidding. The Phazon also counts.
- Cyberspace: When Samus seeks JD's help to fix her Varia Suit, he has to upload her mind to his computer so that he can fix the suit. To help her pass the time, JD asks Samus to take on the Space Pirate training program.
- Holodeck Malfunction: Unfortunately JD uploaded Samus's mind on Mother Brain's Tourian network. Mother Brain wastes no time in attacking Samus. Samus fends her off fortunately until she is retrieved by JD.
- Holodeck Malfunction: Unfortunately JD uploaded Samus's mind on Mother Brain's Tourian network
- Deadpan Snarker: This version of Samus is prone to large amounts of sarcasm and exasperation at everyone's antics.
- Death Seeker: Several degenerate Pirates are this, and call Joey a buzzkill for not letting Samus kill them.
- Deus ex Machina: Referenced and later explained by Samus after Joey's Big Damn Heroes moment.
- Distinction Without a Difference: "I'm not arrogant... I'm just unafraid of celebrating my own importance."
- Distracted by the Sexy: Happens to Samus by way of Johnny Depp.
- Does This Make Me Look Fat?: Unusable Joke #1 has Samus asking Joey if the Gravity Suit does.
- Eldritch Location: Nemesis as named by Samus. She identified it at the source of all Phazon with the core of the planet being pure Phazon while the atmosphere and various landmasses that float above it having heavy concentrations of Phazon. A ring of Phazon meteors circle the planet destined to be thrown into space and affect other planets. Lifeforms not resistant to Phazon will die quickly on Nemesis.
- Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap!: Played for laughs with Squish realizing Joey is not the best person to put your hope in for a savior.
- Filler Strips: In addition to random filler, there are special "Logfile Filler" comics that expand on certain parts of the story and give insight into how Samus is doing status-wise.
- Gamebooks: In this strip. Don't cheat now.
- Good News, Bad News:
- The bad news is Squish has been captured and returned to power generation. For JD, this is also the good news.
- Good news, Samus's ship still has power to steer. Bad news, it's still going to end in crashing. Good news, Samus and Joey aren't hitting the ground. Bad news, they're hitting the Phazon core of the planet instead.
- The bad news is
- Go Through Me: Joey doesn't want to let Samus kill any of his friends and fellow degenerate Pirates. Played for laughs when Samus then shoots him with her basic, no-upgrades Power Beam and he complains about it.
- Healing Factor: Joey can heal by eating other Pirates.
- I Am Not Leonard Nimoy: JD is a pseudonym he gave himself for Samus's benefit, named for whom he determined to be the greatest pirate in human history: Johnny Depp.
- Ignoring by Singing: "Yep... singin' to myself to fend off the crushing despair...
- I'm a Humanitarian: Joey has no problem with eating parts of other Space Pirates.
- I'm Melting!: Samus stalls a Pirate long enough for the Phazon to melt down most of its body. Samus later "feeds" it to the Phazon completing the meltdown.
- It Has Been an Honor: Several of the degenerate pirates would be honored to be killed by Samus.
- Left Hanging / Orphaned Series: Unfortunately updates to the comic have ceased, so we may never know if Samus ever completes her mission.
- Long List: In a parody of Metroid's Bag of Spilling, there's a long list of equipment lost when Samus reconfigured her Power Suit for the Phazon-intense environment of Nemesis.
- Look Behind You: Attempted by JD, who tells Samus to look behind her at Joey. It only works for a few seconds:
- Medium Awareness: When Samus battles the Space Pirates, she comments about the music found when you battle Space Pirates in the Metroid Prime series.Samus (thinking): Wait...the annoying music hasn't stopped. *realizes there's a Pirate left alive* Crap.
- My Name Is Inigo Montoya: Actually, it's Samus Aran, and she's doing a whole reference to the Trope Namer.
- No, You: Said by JD when he and Joey get into an insult match.
- Not-So-Harmless Villain: Mother Brain. Most of the time, she's either trolling the Pirate responsible for maintaining her or pining after Ridley. However, when Samus ends up getting uploaded onto the Tourian network, she wastes no time in attempting to break Samus and attempts to force JD to delete her for good.
- Powered Armor: Just like in the Metroid series, Samus has her Power Suit and it helps protect her from harm as long as Samus has Energy in her Energy Tanks. Samus can increase her suit's capabilities by collecting upgrades or scanning things in the local environment.
- Prepare to Die: Caps off Samus reciting an edited version of the Trope Namer.
- Red Shirt: Played for laughs when Joey asks for red paint so he can paint these on all the other degenerates for being stupid in combat.
- Remembered I Could Fly: Played for laughs with Samus and her suit being configured to deal with Phazon.Suit UI: WARNING! Phazon radiation detected ahead.
Samus: No! Phazon bad! Phazon very bad! Turn, you little bastards! Turn for your lives! Tuuuurn! TUUUUURRRNNAAAAAGHHH! ...oh right, I configured my suit for Phazon. - Ride of the Valkyries: Samus and a whole pack of Phazon Zoomers invade a Space Pirate facility to this theme.
- Running Gag: Samus apparently has a ton of retro games set up that she can play in her suit, which she uses and abuses during downtime.
- Somebody Set Up Us the Bomb: The Trope Namer gets referenced in this strip, where Samus and Joey discuss what would happen if a Space Pirate found her ship. Samus doesn't get the reference.
- Space Pirates: Led by Mother Brain and Ridley. They mainly work on Nemesis to utilize Phazon for their nefarious ends.
- Speech Bubbles: Every character has their own font, color, and text effect for speech. When JD impersonates Joey to frame him, the former takes on Joey's font, color, and text effect.
- Surrounded by Idiots: Samus qualifies, being stuck between the Lovable Coward and ditz Joey, snarky sentient Metroid Squish, and grumpy, biting, sarcastic jerk JD.
- Take a Third Option: Samus to Joey: pretend you're an evil pirate and you found my ship. What do you do? Samus offers two choices: call for backup and get no credit or take the risk and go it alone. Joey's choice is "go back to base and eat a large meal while my subordinates are slaughtered", but in a subversion, this is the exact answer Samus was looking for.
- Timmy in a Well: Done by a Zoomer and some pirates who don't really care.
- Too Kinky to Torture: Joey enjoys being spun by Samus's Grapple Beam.Joey: GRAPPLE SPIN ME!
Samus: No, goddammit! It's supposed to be a punishment! - Totally Radical: "Sup? Word. Homie." Said by Mother Brain.
- Unsound Effect: "SICKENING CRUNCH"
- The Virus: Nemesis itself. It spawns countless Phazon meteors that are thrown into space destined to affect other planets.
- Your Mind Makes It Real / Deadly Training Area: After being uploaded to JD's computer and given a training program as a challenge, Samus asks if she dies during the program, would she die in the real world too. JD says no, that would be stupid and such a thing would go against the training program's purpose. This doesn't stop Mother Brain from hijacking the simulation in an attempt to break Samus.
