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Webcomic / Flork of Cows

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Flork of Cows is a webcomic that started in January of 2012. It first started as a simple Wordpress comic for the creator to vent his frustrations with coding, but later migrated to Facebook and Reddit, its surreal and dark humor maturing in accordance with individual strips going viral as reaction images. The comic is drawn simply in MS Paint with a sock puppet aesthetic to show that you don't need good art to make a good comic (though Flork himself is a legitimately good artist).

The official Flork of Cows website can be found here. Flork's personal Twitter is here, and the comic also has a Facebook page, Instagram and subreddit.


"Move aside, poors! Captain Rich is here to present the tropes!":

  • A.I. Is a Crapshoot: Alexa.
  • And You Thought It Was Real: This is the main plot twist of the Mafia arc: after killing Barehand Ben, Slimmy is informed that the mafia group he has joined are actually a group of very dedicated LARPers, and he's just gotten them in way over their heads.
  • Bilingual Bonus: In the "Mage Mage" arc, if you translate Pat Mage's Morse code when he asks to join the group, he asks, "Hey, you four guys wanna hang out?" There are only three other people present... or are there?
  • Body Horror: Flork seems to have a fondness for this, and a lot of his comics have some kind of horrifying gory scene. Pockets is a non-gory example.
  • Brilliant, but Lazy: Donut Dan is a Dunkin' Donuts franchise proprietor whose Dunkin' Donuts store is powered by a dedicated nuclear power plant. He comes up with the hypothetical question of why he isn't powering the entire state with his nuclear power grid, with the answer being that he doesn't feel like doing it.
  • Canon Character All Along: A couple of arcs have unexpectedly turned out to be origin stories for existing characters.
    • One recurring strip depicted a man who has been sentenced to being "pulled apart by snails". This is implied to take a very long time, and doesn't kill him but does noticeably stretch out his arms. He is eventually rescued... by Merlin, who crowns him as Pat Mage.
    • An October 2021 arc began as an Affectionate Parody of telenovelas, only to be suddenly and abruptly hijacked by Legion. The telenovela's protagonist, Gustav, was rescued from the brink of death, again by Merlin, who at this point had lost the ability to create mages, but had enough magic left to sent Gustav to another world... where he is strongly implied to become the Crusader.
  • Chekhov's Gunman: When Clark proposes to Malfina, he asks her to make him "the third happiest man in Connecticut". A later story arc involves the pair visiting the happiest man in Connecticut, who happens to be a work colleague of Clark's and whose wife is similar to Malfina.
  • Crime Fighting With Cash: This trope is parodied with Captain Rich, an Upper-Class Twit who seems to be trying to help people, but doesn't really understand how non-billionaires live, nor does he seem to care about much other than amassing more wealth.
    Captain Rich: The only thing I hate more than crime is the poor.
  • Dead Man Writing: In January 2024, to coincide with the release of a Mr. Business plush, a strip was released in which Mr. Business records a tape, to be played upon his death, thanking the viewer and assuring them they'll be okay.
  • Disguised Horror Story: Many of Flork's story arcs start off innocent only to suddenly shift into Surreal Horror, Body Horror, or some other brand of horror. By this point, fans have come to expect the shift.
  • Drunk on Milk: The Legend of Zelda's use of this trope is parodied in "milk".
  • Eaten Alive: The "Mr. Business" arc resolves around the titular Mr. Business, an extremely wealthy furry who repeatedly commissions the protagonist for vore fetish art. The twist is that he doesn't actually have a vore fetish: he plans to sacrifice himself to Quetzalcoatl by allowing it to eat him alive, and is trying to desensitize himself so he can Face Death with Dignity. While it doesn't truly work, he still goes through with it.
  • Femme Fatalons: The Gurl Advice Gurl.
  • Fingore: Several of his comics involve something horrible happening to a person's fingers. "Can" is one of the tamer examples.
  • Fish out of Temporal Water: Ung, a caveman who was frozen in ice by the other men of his tribe because he had too many wives, then thawed out by a guy in the modern day.
  • Foreshadowing:
    • Surprise Mage's presence during the "Mage Mage" arc (as described below) gets a bit of subtle foreshadowing:
      • When Bike Mage asks to join, Ass Mage says no and Sprout Mage says yes, but Bike Mage joins anyway. Turns out surprise Mage made the deciding vote.
      • When Pat Mage asks to join, he specifically asks, "Hey, you four guys wanna hang out?" even though only three people are visible.
      • The trapdoor that opens beneath the party leads to five chutes, one of which appears to be empty.
  • He Was Right There All Along: During the "Mage Mage" arc, Surprise Mage pulls a Big Damn Heroes during the final battle against Morgana. How did he get to the castle? Well, if you check the early strips (up until Ass Mage and friends are sent falling through a trapdoor) and turn the contrast way up, you can see Surprise Mage in the background. Surprise! He was, quite literally, with them the whole time.
  • Huge Girl, Tiny Guy: Clark and Malfina, as shown during their wedding.
  • Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: Tiny Wife and her husband.
  • High-Class Glass: One of the recurring characters is the ludicrously wealthy Captain Rich, who is always wearing a monocle.
  • Horrifying the Horror: "Village", which makes fun of the internet's reaction to Lady Dimitrescu by having her be extremely disturbed by one of her male fans.
  • Inexplicably Awesome: Barehand Ben somehow has mob powers that include manipulating bricks. No other mobsters have any power; despite being given a power imbuing hat by the don, Slimmy just uses a regular gun.
  • Insane Troll Logic: A customer's response to their payment card declining is to apply for the store's credit card, to which the cashier can only meekly respond "ok...", believing that they can create a cycle of "infinite unending money" just by applying for credit cards. Then in a postscript implied to take sometime later, they refuse to pay off their credit card, as "it was their fault for giving me credit".
  • Interrupted Intimacy: rentoids has a landlord that doesn't understand boundaries barge in on his tenants having sex.
    Y'ALL FUCKIN'? IVE OWNED THIS HOUSE SINCE 1994 I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT RENTOIDS
  • Neighborhood-Friendly Gangsters: trees has a drug dealer who exchanges drugs for "street cred," which can be earned by helping out the local community.
  • Nonstandard Character Design: The comics will occasionally feature characters who aren't the same simplistic sock puppets as all of the other characters, such as Malfina and the... thing from Back Under the Door.
  • Running Gag:
    • A character yelling "SWEET BOLOGNA NO!" as they're being violently attacked.
    • Every Halloween, Flork releases a strip featuring an unnamed sock dressing as "Count Shaqula. Starting with the 2020 strip, these tended to be self-aware, with the sock's friends and loved ones questioning why they have to keep the tradition up, and the sock replying in no uncertain terms that they will not stop.
      "You will bury me in this."
    • Similarly, every December there's a strip of a Texan man blasting Santa (or something Santa-themed) in the face with a shotgun and yelling, "Y'ALL IN MAH HOUSE TOUCHIN' MAH STUFF! MAH STUFF IN MAH HOUSE! DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS! DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS!"
  • Serious Business: The Tago Bell arc starts with the protagonist's attempts to get his brother Charlie's clone a taco, and ends with the protagonist and clone!Charlie thwarting an attempt by the other clones to revive the original Charlie by allowing clone!Charlie to inadvertently perform a Heroic Sacrifice by eating the taco.
  • Stylistic Suck: Lord yes. The characters are all poorly drawn sockpuppets, except in the cases where they are even worse! The whole thing is also clearly drawn in (or emulating) Microsoft Paint, given how low resolution everything is. And most of the dialogue is in all lowercase letters with No Punctuation Period.
  • Take That!: The "Barbara" arc contains several unsubtle jabs at Reddit, up to and including Saint Therese herself descending from heaven to tell Barbara to "stay off of Reddit".
  • Tertiary Sexual Characteristics: The only thing that sets the female socks apart from the male socks is a small bow on their head (it's usually red, but in some cases it's pink, green or orange).


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