Left: Melody the beach witch. Right: Wizard.
Beach WZRD is a low-fantasy webcomic by former animator turned cartoonist Mc Nostril. The first three chapters can be read on his website
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Beginner witch Melody has just passed her trials and been appointed local beach witch. Unfortunately, on her first day of work, she has to deal with an errant, condescending, sociopathic drunken wizard who claims the beach as her domain, starts making threats on the locals, erecting dangerously unstable wizard towers and conducting poorly thought-out magical experiments. Will Melody's optimism and good will be enough to make up for her inexperience in dealing with this magical menace with an acceptable amount of collateral damage ? Unlikely.
This comic provides examples of:
- Added Alliterative Appeal: Lampshaded by Melody herself. Wizards in general seem fond of alliteration when naming their spells, and Wizard in particular employs it when she makes threats or insults. The comic's "Cast" page also lists the characters as "Diminutive Do-gooder", "Magical Menace", "Wave Watcher", etc.
- All Witches Have Cats: Lampshaded by Wizard, who assumes that Melody has "A talking black cat familiar named Azaziel or something". She is mostly right except that the name is slightly different and it doesn't talk.
- Bag of Holding: Wizard can store all sorts of items in her magical hat, and mocks Melody for not only using a pouch, but a fanny pack at that.
- Bewitched Amphibians: Witches do not have spells, they have "curses" such as boils, rashes, warts and turning people into frogs – considered to be a "classic". Melody transforms Wizard into a frog at some point out of frustration.
- Big Brother Mentor: Melody's big brother Melvin, an experienced and accomplished Witch, occasionally gives her advice on request and offers to come and help her on several occasions – but Melody refuses out of desire to prove that she can handle herself.
- Brilliant, but Lazy: Despite her undeniable proficiency with Arcane arts, Wizard spends most of her day drinking, slacking, or both in order to recover from her last hangover.Melody: Can't you make itnote vanish faster [than a week]?Wizard: Of course I can.Melody: … But you're not going to.Wizard: Of course not.
- Comedic Sociopathy: A major part of the comedy simply stems from Wizard's absolute disregard for other people's safety and/or dignity.
- Curse Escape Clause: When Wizard is transformed into a frog by Melody, she reasons that the cure is usually to be kissed by a prince or other member of royalty. However, royals are not that common in this modern setting… So she opts for symbolic royalty instead, and manages to lift the curse by forcibly kissing an ant queen.
- Cute Witch: Melody herself is considered adorable in-universe, even by Wizard herself – albeit in a very condescending, "you're trying so hard to look intimidating" way.
- Didn't Think This Through: A specialty of Wizard's and the closer she ever gets to admitting a mistake, although she makes it sound much better in her own words:
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Wizard's name is never revealed and she does not bother giving it, so everyone just calls her "Wizard". Downplayed with Melody, whose first name is given… but Wizard never bothers remembering it either, so she just calls her "witch".
- Evil Sorcerer: Wizard is not actively evil, in that she does not seek people to enslave or destroy, but she does show a complete lack of concern for other people's safety and/or dignity, and casually mentions that if people annoy her too much, she considers making them explode a suitable course of action.
- Flying Broomstick: Melody has one and uses it as her main mode of transportation. Wizard finds it predictable and unoriginal.
- Forced Transformation: Melody uses the classic "turn into a frog" curse on Wizard out of frustration. Problem is, she doesn't know how to turn her back, and while the curse does wear off after a few days, it is advised to take in the cursed person and make sure they don't get eaten by a predator in this weakend form, something which Melody didn't consider.
- Good Witch Versus Bad Witch: Played with. The main dynamic is "good, well-intentioned and sensible beginner witch versus drunken, uncaring reckless yet very powerful wizard".
- I Meant to Do That: Wizard's standard response any time one of her actions, magical or otherwise, has unforeseen consequences.
- Lady Drunk: When she isn't performing dangerous magic, insulting people or sleeping, Wizard is usually seen drinking. She may also be seen drinking while doing the aforementioned.
- Mage Tower: Wizard makes a few attempts at building one, which backfire, before settling for the beachwatcher's elevated chair.
- Magic Is Feminine: Subverted. Both main characters are female and spellcasters, but it's soon clear that witch and wizard are gender-neutral terms for different type of spellcasters who can both be male or female.
- Magic Misfire: Wizard is as powerful as she is reckless, accident-prone and unable to admit she screwed up, resulting in a lot of magical accidents.
- Make My Monster Grow: Among the aforementioned magical misfires, Wizard builds a miniature sandtower then magically enlarges it to make her Wizard Tower. Unfortunately, she also made the sand fleas grow…
- Non-Mammalian Hair: Wizard satisfactorily notes that even transformed into a toad, she retains her fabulous haircut.
- The Pollyanna: Melody is determined to focus on the positive no matter what happens, and has some success in that field.
- Quick Nip: Wizard drinks all day long, and it doesn't seem to hamper her magical abilities.
- Robe and Wizard Hat: Played with. Since the characters are on a beach and in a modern setting, Melody instead wears a cape over her swimsuit, while Wizard's robe looks more like a snazzy open coat over a skirt, bikini and stockings.They keep the hats, and Wizard's hat also doubles as her Bag of Holding.
- Screw the Rules, I Have Supernatural Powers!: Wizard again. She sums it best :Wizard: Witch, I will do as I please because A: I am a Wizard; B: You do not own this beach, and C: I am a Wizard.
- Self-Induced Allergic Reaction: Wizard is allergic to ant venom, which poses a problem when she receives multiple ant bites from breaking into their anthill to kiss their queen in order to lift her transformation into a toad.
- Sensible Heroes, Skimpy Villains: Protagonist Melody dresses for simplicity, practicality and modesty with no consideration whatsoever for style, taste or appeal. Antagonist Wizard wears a flamboyant open coat over a short skirt and striped bikini, complete with stockings.
- Slapstick Knows no Gender: The two main characters of the comic are girls, and none of them are immune to comical injuries.
- Smug Snake: Wizard through and through. Although she does has impressive powers, the fact that they frequently blow up in her face never tarnishes the admiration she has for herself.
- Solitary Sorceress: Averted with Melody, who is very much social and whose role requires that she mingle with people. Played straight for Wizard, who abhors company and wishes to be left to her drink-''research''.
- Straight Man and Wise Guy: Melody is the sensible Straight Man and Wizard is the Wise Guy.
- Unequal Rites: Minus the gendered aspect, since both professions are mixed-gender. Witchcraft seems to deal more with pretty practical matters like wounds, illnesses and birthgiving, while wizards experiment to re-shape reality, and are being awfully smug about it.
