The Power Trio themselves, as of 2016. (Left to right: Kevin, Neil and Ryan.)
Guaranteed* Video is a name used to categorize the combined entertainment efforts of Neil Cicierega, Ryan Murphy (not that one), and Kevin James (no, not that one either). The trio have been creating comedy (often leaning towards Surreal Humor) short films since circa 2008, originally for the now defunct studio Hollywood East TV under the name of New Kids on the Rock. In June 2017, the three announced that they were getting back together to make monthly videos, and put together a Patreon page
.
What is or isn't considered part of Guaranteed* Video proper is somewhat nebulous, given that the skits were created over a 10-year period, scattered across several YouTube channels, and not originally intended to be part of the same series. The playlist linked to from the Patreon is here, and the New Kids on the Rock skits here. Other collaborations may be found on Neil's, Ryan's and Kevin's YouTube channels.
Guaranteed* Video provides examples of:
- Accent Upon The Wrong Syllable: In "GameCube Controller," Neil's character pronounces "GameCube" as "Game CUbe."
- Accidental Misnaming: The New Kids on the Rock repeatedly call Daxter Flaxter wrong names, including "Dasher Baxter," "Dazzler Boxer" and "Proctor Tractor."
- Accidental Murder: Neil attempts to prank Max with a potato in the tailpipe of his car, but ends up causing an explosion that kills him.
- Affectionate Parody: New Kids on the Rock, of 90s Kid Com tropes. Just look at how many "[blank] Episode" examples are on this page.
- And I Must Scream: Mitch Dollarton III's soul ends up trapped in an arcade cabinet, screaming silently for help. Daxter Flaxter confirms he effectively murdered him.
- Artifact Title: They are in their early 30's now, but seem to enjoy the increasingly silly quality of the "New Kids" title. Perhaps a shoutout to the Vague Age of kids' TV characters.
- As Himself: In the New Kids on the Rock webisodes, Neil, Kevin, and Ryan play moderately exaggerated versions of themselves. Max, as The Bully, is more of
The Danza. - Bear Trap: In Arizona's official state nightmare, terrorists put them everywhere.
- Beauty, Brains, and Brawn: Played up more in the original episodes. A male variant with Neil as the ideas guy, Kevin as the impulsive leader, and Ryan as...the third one.
- Black Comedy Burst: Many skits throw startlingly dark jokes into cheesy, G-rated comedy.Rodney Dangerfield's Skeleton: Jeez, everybody wants to be on YouTube. Then they wanna be on Netflix. Me? I wanna be at home with my grandkids. I wish I wasn't dead! (Rimshot)
- Bloodier and Gorier: Nevada's official state nightmare is "an extremely gory version of TRON."
- Bookcase Passage: In "The Vigilante," Neil takes Ryan (and later, Kevin) into one of these, which contains the truth about Ryan's bloodline.
- Break Them by Talking: In "The Questioning," two cops interrogate a teenage delinquent by explaining the entire plot of the Animorphs series.
- Broke Episode: New Kids webisode "The Money Tree."
- Buried Alive: The state nightmare for Texas involves being buried alive...while wearing the Big Bird costume.
- Butt-Monkey: Kevin. The man has been shot in the face (more than once, in "Friend or Foe" and "Bigfoot Begins"), been electrocuted (ALSO more than once, in "No Place Like Home" and "The Lawn-Mowing Man"), had his eyes pulled out ("The Curse of Spooky Manor"), and almost choked to death ("Ryan's Christmas Wish"). Death Is Cheap, but especially for Kevin.
- In "Computer Fighters," he is given four lives instead of five for unknown reasons. Of course, he is the only one to use any of his extra lives (he gets hit by a monster truck, set on fire by a pterodactyl, and eaten by a tree. Poor Kevin.) In addition, Max punches him and only him in the face.
- Christmas Episode: New Kids webisode "Ryan's Christmas Wish."
- Also "Neil Saves Christmas" and "Neil Saves Christmas 2."
- Chekhov's Gun: Subverted in "Computer Fighters." Neil has a virus on a floppy disk, which is set up as an obvious way to defeat Gunfoot, but it inexplicably becomes a Banana Peel.
- Colour-Coded for Your Convenience: Neil is often represented with yellow, Kevin with blue, and Ryan with red.
- Cool and Unusual Punishment: Most of the state nightmares involve these, with an emphasis on "unusual":
- Georgia: "A laughing farmer makes you kiss a withered dying pig."
- Michigan: "Santa Claus just keeps bopping you with a huge exercise ball."
- North Carolina: "A little candle man keeps burning your legs."
- Vermont: "A scary king makes you eat vegetables."
- Crosscast Role: The Misery Meister in "Ryan's Christmas Wish" is played by Ashley Rodgers, and yes, in this case, that is a girl's name. Helping out is a voiceover by an uncredited male actor and a moustache for some traditional moustache-twirling.
- Ryan as the Wicked Witch in No Place Like Home. May also be intended as Villainous Crossdresser, as in-universe the Cowardly Lion refers to her as "he" and is not corrected.
- Curse Cut Short: Subverted in "The Lawn-Mowing Man," Neil's character says "Oh, sh—" before a cut to the title card interrupts him. When it cuts back to the film, he actually says "...shit!"
- Dead All Along: Wendy in "Romantic Comedy" pretends to be this to avoid Kevin.
- Either/Or Title: "The Amazingly Aerodynamic Unleaded & Quadro-Cylindrical Fly-o-mo Car, Or: Shitty Shitty Bang Bang."
- Eye Scream: Frosty the Snowman's eyes are made out of bloody, disembodied eyes.
- Kevin gets his eyes pulled out by the ghoul in "The Curse of Spooky Manor."
- Daxter Flaxter inflicts this on a stuffy movie festival guest for wanting to watch The English Patient (and it's somewhat implied that these are the eyes which are given to Frosty, given they are the same color).
- Fantastic Drug: "High Moon" features a werewolf smoking crushed moon rocks.
- Freeze-Frame Bonus: The game cabinets in the background of Computer Fighters include such classic titles as "Booger Baron," "Laser Laser," "Zork Stop," "Destroy the Pyramids," "Mel Gibson: The Game,"note "Loserville," and "Santa Kart."
- In "The Fifty State Nightmares," all the states listed have their border outlines shown... except for Oregon, South Carolina and Virginia, instead represented by outlines of Abraham Lincoln, the Batman logo and a goldfish, respectively.
- Fun with Acronyms: "New Kids on the Rock" is traditionally abbreviated as just "NKR," which also stands for the kids themselves, "Neil, Kevin and Ryan."
- Good Cop/Bad Cop: Ryan and Kevin in "The Questioning."
- Gosh Dang It to Heck!: Combined with Precision F-Strike, to odd effect.Neil: And to think, I waited all month to play Computer Fighters 2000, only to have that- that- that JERK embarrass me in front of everyone! (Ryan and Kevin gasp in shock)
- Laugh Track: At the end of "The Money Tree."
- "Knock Knock" Joke: The subject of the aptly titled "Knock Knock!" video and its sequel "Knock Knock Knock."
- Nonindicative Name: "Ryan's Christmas Wish," while a Christmas episode, contains no wishes, particularly not from Ryan.
- Our Lawyers Advised This Trope: Parodied in a Shout-Out in the "The Lawn-Mowing Man."The Lawn-Mowing Man: Based on The Lawnmower Man by Brett Leonard, which is legally distinct from Stephen King's The Lawnmower Man.
- Overly Narrow Superlative: "Ernest Roulette," their podcast which reviewed the Ernest P. Worrell films, came with the catchphrase, "The only Ernest podcast with a wheel!" note
- Paranormal Episode: New Kids Halloween Episode "The Curse of Spooky Manor."
- Police Psychic: Parodied at the start of "Computer Fighters," where the boys are literally watching a show called "The Psychic Detective."
- Power Trio: Neil, Kevin and Ryan.
- Precision F-Strike: Used often, most notably "Mister Basement," but also "Knock Knock Knock," "Computer Fighters," "Year of the Snake" and humorously in the "Explicit Version" of "It's the World Wide Web."
- Psychic Nosebleed: Ryan Murphy, Psychic Friend suffers one.
- Reference Overdosed: Most of their videos contain references to a wide variety of things, as demonstrated by the Shout-Out page.
- Show Within a Show: "The Psychic Detective."
- Snap Back: Kevin dies and is cremated at the end of "The Curse of Spooky Manor," but is alive and well by "The Vigilante."
- Max is killed in "Bully Troubles," but returns in "Computer Fighters."
- Special Guest: Their "Ernest Roulette" video on Ernest Scared Stupid has Jack Packard of RedLetterMedia.
- Superhero Episode: New Kids webisode "The Vigilante," where Ryan becomes a The Dark Knight-style vigilante with unexpected consequences.
- Supernatural Gold Eyes: The werewolf in "High Moon" shows these while transforming.
- Toilet Seat Divorce: In "High Moon", Kevin's wife leaves him for telling a bad campfire story.
- Totally Radical: Played for Laughs in "It's the World Wide Web."
- Taken to its logical extreme with Daxter Flaxter of "Computer Fighters," and pushed even further with the VHS edit.
- Taken to its logical extreme with Daxter Flaxter of "Computer Fighters," and pushed even further with the VHS edit
- Treasure Hunt Episode: New Kids webisode 1.
- Upper-Class Twit: Mitch Dollarton III wears a tuxedo to the arcade, speaks in a snobby British accent, and dominates everyone at Computer Fighters because he owns the game at home.
- Visual Pun: In "GameCube Controller," Neil literally controls his GameCube with the controller.
