Web Video / Doctor Who Poop

Warning: Too much Steven Moffat

"I've jizzed over 2000 times, and it's about time that I did Clara."

— The Twelth Doctor.

A YouTube Poop series run by Doctor Who fans. Initially created by George Wilson in 2011, Ash Hooper & Jack Stevens joined in 2013. Jack later left in 2016 due to other commitments. Doctor Who Poop takes clips from Doctor Who and edits them to change the dialog and plot completely. The result is a series with more far more swearing, sexual content and movie references than the original show. Needless to say, it is Not Safe for Work.

The show mostly poops episodes from the new series, which started in 2005, but a few classic series episodes have been pooped as well.

Most of the episodes can be found on the series' YouTube channel.

---

Tropes used in Doctor Who Poop include:

• Adaptational Context Change:
  • In "Asylum of the Daleks", Oswin Oswald cried because she realised that she had been turned into a Dalek. Here, she cries because the Doctor decided to abandon her, and later because she watched a sad episode of Primeval.
  • In Save The Doctor, the Tenth Doctor's "I can do so much more" monologue is now about a homeless man wishing that he could have it better instead of a hero approaching his death.
• Adaptational Dumbass: The Ninth Doctor states that a Dalek can calculate "one combination in about twelve hours". But thanks to van Statten's shared dumbassery, the Dalek manages to guess the combo on the first try.^note Said combination is 12345.
• Alternate Character Interpretation: Quite a few of them appear In-Universe.
  • The First Doctor is an Ambiguously Bi Dirty Old Man.
    • His incarnation from The Five Doctors is actually a seperate character called ''Fake Doctor.'' This character is just as dirty (though, as far as we can tell, straight) and even more of a Cloud Cuckoo Lander.
  • Susan is more foul-mouthed than her canon counterpart, and apparently lesbian.
  • Ian and, to a lesser extent, Barbara are Depraved Bisexuals who have a thing for Susan.
  • While the Daleks are still hostile, they are not Always Chaotic Evil, and have several more decent members than in the original show.
  • The Second Doctor is a Dirty Old Man who has a Celebrity Crush on Kim Kardashian.
  • The Brigader is a Sex God.
  • The Third Doctor used to be the Brigader's "ass advisor." Also, he can fly.
  • The Illusions of Mike Yates and Liz Shaw (from The Five Doctors) are capable of performing a Fusion Dance, or are possibly one single entity manifesting as multiple people.
  • The Master has even more tension with the Doctor. Yes, even as Missy.
    • His "Harold Saxon" incarnation is never identified as the Master, and is said to be a kindhearted, charitable man who helps the homeless.
  • Sarah Jane Smith is mostly portrayed accurately, but she seems a bit ditzier than normal when meeting the Third Doctor, though she might still be dizzy from rollig down a hill and than up again. Also, she can breathe in space.
  • The Fourth Doctor averts this trope. Mostly because he has been Demoted to Extra and not been given enough screentime to develop any alternate characterisation.
  • The Fifth Doctor is a flirty example of The Gadfly, and a bit of a Cloud Cuckoo Lander.
  • Turlough is a perverted, Terrible Artist who delights in other people's deaths.
  • President Borusa is a notorious gay lord obsessed with finding a WiiU.
  • The Castellan is an awkward nerd who has a crush on Chancellor Flava, wathes porn, and plays Minecraft. Also, he is incest.
  • Chancellor Flava is a middle-aged Village Bicycle.
  • The War Doctor had an inappropiate relationship with a dog.
  • The Ninth Doctor is a Consummate Liar who shows No Sympathy towards the innocents who are caught up in his adventures, often encouraging them to "just die", either by their own hand, or someone else's. He also lords his intellect over others and shows hints of being a Dirty Coward, though he can be easily bribed into staying with Fanta or guns.
  • Rose shows No Sympathy towards the Ninth Doctor and doesn't listen to anything he says.
  • The Tenth Doctor is a dirt poor, homeless man who is an even more tragic character than his canon counterpart.
  • The Eleventh Doctor is a Jerkass who refuses to help people in need, attacks people for no reason and swears constantly. He is also a Dirty Old Man, though he doesn't always look the part.
  • Amy Pond used to have a sexual relationship with the Doctor.
  • Rory Williams is The Stoner.
  • Dorium has a fetish for crossdressing.
  • The Twelth Doctor is a violent Dirty Old Man who watches porn in his Tardis and lusts after Clara. Noticing a trend?
    • Unsurprisingly, he also swears quite a bit. More surprisingly, he is outdone by Clara in this department.
    Clara Oswald: Oh, don't you tell me to mind my language, you dick!
  • Robin Hood is a bisexual Chivalrous Pervert who is in a relationship with Robert Pattinson. He is also Spongebob Squarepants, except he isn't.
    • Robert Pattinson himself is a fictional character, and - for some reason - a blow-up doll.
  • The Sheriff of Nottingham is a Robosexual pornstar who runs an Apple store, and uses Skype.
  • Christel, the host of the Doctor Who Fan Show, is a Steven Moffat cosplayer.
  • Evil Dan is an unkillable time-traveling Serial Killer who steals Halloween candy from children and soup from food banks
    Evil Dan: What's the point of being alive if it's not to make others die?
• Ascended Fanboy: Doctor Who Poop helped create the season finale of the official Doctor Who Fan Show.
• Ask a Stupid Question...: After the Ninth Doctor taunts the Dalek ("What are you gonna do to me?!"), it immediately plungers his face, crushing his skull. He gets better.
• Ass Shove: The Five Doctors has the Fifth Doctor temporarily sent into his asshole. Makes Just as Much Sense in Context.
• A Threesome Is Hot: In An Unexpected Foursome, The Tenth Doctor has, well, a foursome with Rose, Jackie and Mickey.
• Blatant Lies: Everything The Ninth Doctor says, according to Doctor Who Poop.
• Boastful Rap: The Tenth Doctor's Rap.
• The Cameo: Voice Interface Problems has cameos from Ronald McDonald, Justin Bieber, Mr. Blobby and Chewbacca.
  • What a Splendid Idea! has an extended cameo from Walter White, who reacts in shock as miniature versions of the Doctor and Sarah Jane fall into his pool.
  • Mark Zuckerberg makes a brief appearance in Dalek, admitting that he runs the internet and "[is] responsible for what happens there". Handles also appears, reminding the Doctor to patch the telephone device through the console unit before warning them about the incoming soldiers. He's still shouting "Warning" as the guards mercilessly mow the Doctor and Rose down.
• Caught with Your Pants Down: In The Doctor Nearly Gets Caught! Clara walks in on the Doctor as he is watching footage of himself having sex with his hallucination of Amy Pond (which was ''somehow'' caught on tape.) He tries to hide what's going on, but she is clearly on to him.
  The Twelth Doctor: Listen, I'm sorry, but there is going to be no trip today. I'm sorry, I've got to do a thing. Might take a while.
• Continuity Snarl: In An Unearthly Child, the First Doctor's granddaughter Susan claimed that her grandfather "didn't like tits." He seems to have changed his mind by the time of The Five Doctors. (Of course, she may have just said that to keep Barbara from discovering the Tardis.)
• Deliberately Monochrome: The An Unearthly Child parody has black-and-white opening credits, as Doctor Who was not shown in colour yet at that point.
• Diegetic Soundtrack Usage:
  • The First Doctor sings part of the Doctor Who theme in An Unearthly Child. A full version was later released.
  • The third part of The Five Doctors ends with the (fake) First Doctor and the Fifth Doctor performing the same theme.
• Easily Forgiven: In Rose Is Rude - Part 1 the Ninth Doctor abandons Rose when she doesn't care at all that his planet was destroyed. He still gives her another chance in Rose Is Rude - Part 2, but leaves her again when it's clear that she still isn't listening to him.
• Even the Subtitler Is Stumped: In The Impossible Astronaut - Part 1, some of the Eleventh Doctor's lines are played in reverse. The subtitles do their best to interpret them.
  The Eleventh Doctor: "Scroll lizard abs sinking Mississipi. Yay!"
  The Eleventh Doctor: "Moar spaztics!"
  • Apparently, Vale Decem is about a man who wants a chair.
  • As shown in The Ninth Doctor's Sh*t, many instances where the Ninth Doctor says "ship" can be this.
  The Ninth Doctor: "No stupid little transmat gets inside my sh*t."
• For the Evulz: Seemingly The Master's only motivation in the Master Car shorts, in which The Master (Anthony Ainley) drives around in a car, laughs at people and runs them over.
• Formula-Breaking Episode: This video, which is a completely serious Fan Vid of the episode Doomsday, with no jokes at all. Also a case of Early-Installment Weirdness, as this was one of their first videos.
• Fun with Subtitles: In Asylum of the Daleks - Part 2, the Doctor says "scared," but the subtitles say "pussy."
  • In Part 3, Oswin talks about the "first boy [she] ever fancied." However in the subtitles, "fancied" is replaced with "fkked."
• Gasshole: The Tenth Doctor is one, but Rose doesn't mind.
  Rosy Tyler: "What's that smell?"
  The Tenth Doctor: "Me."
  Rosy Tyler: "I love it."
  The Tenth Doctor: "Me too."
• Hotter and Sexier: Than the original show. Especially the episodes based on the classic series, which mostly operated under No Hugging, No Kissing.
• I'm a Man; I Can't Help It: The War Doctor uses this trope to justify his actions.
  The War Doctor:"What I did, I did in the name of penis."
  The Eleventh Doctor: "But not in the name of the dog."
  • Ian Chesterton also explains his relationship with Susan this way.
  The First Doctor: "Why were you inside her?"
  Ian Chesterton: "My erection."
• Interrupted Intimacy: Rory walks in on Amy and the Doctor when they are sleeping together.
• Killed Mid-Sentence: Here, the Ninth Doctor doesn't get to finish talking until he regenerates.
• Lighter and Softer: Hashtags - David Tennant Addition and The Eleventh Doctor Plays Black Ops 2 are both far Lighter and Softer than the other poops, as they use mostly unaltered audio from the actual show.
• Man on Fire:
  • Mickey is lit on fire in School Reunion - Part 1. He doesn't really care.
  • Also happens to the Ninth Doctor in The Ninth Doctor Is On Fire!
• Metaphorgotten: "Great chunks of my arse, detatching themselves like burgers."
• Mistaken Identity: In The Eleventh Doctor Plays Black Ops 2, the Doctor is mistaken for Doctor Dolittle by an actual Call of Duty player. (Of course, he actually ''can'' talk to animals, but he doesn't mention this.)
• No Bisexuals: The Eleventh Doctor claims to be gay immediately before claiming that he had sex with River Song. Winston Churchill doesn't believe him.
  • As mentioned above, the First Doctor is both stated to not be interested in women and to be really interested in them.
• Noodle Incident: In Tooth And Claw,the Tenth Doctor claims that he helped China invade The Muppet Movie, which nearly took off his dick.
• Not So Above It All: The Doctor spends the entirety of the episode Clara Goes Bananas telling Clara to stop swearing. However, at the very end of the video, he calls her a "cunt."
• Oh, Crap!: When finding himself standing face to face with Adolf Hitler, the Eleventh Doctor simply says "Shit."
• Only Known by Their Nickname: The "Lonely / Sad Fat Boy" from School Reunion.
• Pædo Hunt: Strangely Averted with Pedo Bear, who isn't chasing after children, but rather the Eleventh Doctor, who looks like an adult and is Really 700 Years Old.
  • Played Straight in a later video, where he visits a young Amelia Pond.
• Pinball Projectile: How van Statten's army is killed in Dalek — Rather than the Lone Dalek electrocuting them, their bullets harmleslly ricochet off the Dalek's casing, and straight into their heads.
• Race Lift: While visiting Craig, the Eleventh Doctor has randomly become black.
• The Reveal: In the parody of the Series 8 trailers, the Twelth Doctor is revealed to be Steven Moffat, and later the Eleventh Doctor piloting the Teselecta. (Maybe he was using its' shapeshifting abilities to change its' face?)
• Serious Business: In Dalek, the Ninth Doctor threatens to kill the Lone Dalek, not because it is a Dalek, but because it has no Fanta to give him.
• Shaped Like Itself:
  • Dalek Supreme gives us this gem.
  Dalek Supreme: The Asylum is the asylum.
  • A variant in Dalek:
  Ninth Doctor: You just wanna drag the stars down and stick them underground underneath tons of sand and dirt! And label them "sand" and "dirt"!
• Shout-Out:
  • The opening scene in Rose is set to the song Friday by Rebecca Black. It is then turned off almost immediately.
  • The Death Star briefly appears in part 1 of The Five Doctors. Part 3 also has an Opening Scroll based on the ones from the Star Wars movies.
  • Adam running from the Dalek is modified to be a recreation of one of the Signature Scenes from Raiders of the Lost Ark, with the boulder replacing the Dalek.
  • When Adam reveals his secret stash of alien weapons, Henry's reaction is complimented with a vibraphone sting and a text readout saying that "Henry will not remember that."
• Song Parody: A Grenade, performed by the Eleventh Doctor and Strax, is a parody of the song Grenade, by Bruno Mars.
• Spared by the Adaptation: The Doctor manages to save Amy and Rory from the weeping angels, takes them back to their own time, and is in a much better mood than he was in the real episode.
  • In one of the alternate endings for Doctor Who S35 E10 "Face the Raven", the raven actually misses Clara Oswald and knocks the Doctor down instead. (In the other ending, Clara simply passes out from smoking too much weed.)
  • This happens to the Doctor himself in their "Heaven Sent" parody. Here, he manages to break the wall with a single punch, and Clara is told that he was only trapped in the dial for four and a half minutes. This makes her reaction seem rather excessive.
• Staring Contest: The Eleventh Doctor has one with Grand Marshal Skaldak. The Doctor wins.
• Take That!: Part 1 of Asylum of the Daleks has the Doctor Breaking the Fourth Wall and complaining about the new opening credits introduced in Series 7.
  • He didn't like the credits introduced for the second half of the series either.
  • Dalek has the Ninth Doctor encounter the Abzorbaloff in Henry van Statten's bunker. Nine immediately begs to be let out, with van Satten quickly acquiescing, then apologizing for sending the Doctor into the wrong cell. The Doctor, for his part, tells van Statten to kill himself.
• Talking to Themself: In Ten Cats, the Eleventh Doctor ends up in an argument with another version of himself.
  The Eleventh Doctor: "Come on are you crazy?!"
  Also The Eleventh Doctor: "Come on are you crazy?!"
• Unexplained Recovery: The Eleventh Doctor died at the end of Voice Interface Problems, one of their earliest videos. Needless to say, it didn't stick.
  • The Doctor pushes Clara out of the Tardis to her death at the end of The Doctor's Raunchy Regeneration. She comes back in later poops with no explanation. Then again, she did cheat death in various ways in the actual show. Perhaps she was taken out of her timestream a bit earlier in this universe. Or maybe the Doctor found a different Clara.
  • Later, The Twelth Doctor gets shot in the chest by an arrow. After the title sequence, he is perfectly fine.
• Unusually Uninteresting Sight: Craig and Sophie are only a bit surprised to find one of the Teletubbies stuck in their roof, smoking a cigarette. They stop caring about him almost immediately.
• Villainy-Free Villain: The Sheriff of Nottingham is turned into one. His masterplan is simply to make golden iphones and sell them... for quite reasonable prices. The Doctor even realises that there is nothing evil about his plan and doesn't try to stop him. (The Sheriff still wants Robin Hood dead, but he is an outlaw, so he woud have been perfectly justified in killing him by medieval standards. He also hits on Clara, but so do The Doctor and Robin Hood.)

---