Friendship is Magic has a heavy focus on aesops and Equestria Girls is no different.
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- It's magic's fault if you go crazy and try to destroy the world, not yours. You can expect to not be held accountable for any damage caused.
- Every villain deserves a chance at friendship. Unless they're a siren, in which case, let 'em rot.
- Music turns you into God.
Movies
General
- Girls want guys who are handsome, popular, and have no personalities.
- When you're a female character who has no real development or personality outside of being "cute and shy" you're Moe and the fandom loves you. When you're a male character who has no real development or personality outside of being "handsome and shy" you're WORST CHARACTER ON THE SHOW. That's fair, right?
- High school completely revolves around proms and band concerts, you'll never spend more than 5 percent of your time actually learning.
- The site of your last major epiphany is your real home, even if everyone there hates you.
- Run away from home and become what amounts to being a criminal! You'll get to do whatever you want, embark on an adventure, meet some True Companions, and even Save the World! No one will ever question where you came from, and your parents, relatives, friends, and assorted caregivers or associates will never worry about you or look for you or anything. Even if they do, who cares? You're what's important, not them.
- Authority figures are complete idiots.
- Have you gone batshit insane while using magic? No worries! It's not your fault! Even if you were a villain to begin with!
- No one's going to question mysterious magical going-ons, no matter how bizarre or dangerous they get.
- Every villain deserves a chance at friendship. Unless they're a siren, in which case, let 'em rot. Doing evil things because you're just a callous asshole, screwing around with the dark arts because you're an idiot, intend to use violence to coerce someone to give you land they legally own, are just a callous asshole, or are butthurt that other kids are more popular than you makes you sympathetic; spreading negativity because that's how your species eats does not.
- Introducing every single antagonistic force onto an alien world, either intentionally or otherwise, and causing countless problems for the innocent and unknowing people there means you're the villain... in any other movie such as Mars Attacks!, Avatar, Independence Day, or Fullmetal Alchemist. In Equestria Girls it means you're the identifiable heroes because... uh... Friendship is Magic, or something?
- Just go ahead and bring your dogs, pigs, birds, you name it, to school. It's not like there are things like hygiene or pet allergies to worry about, and the people cleaning up after them are just janitors who, as Bloom and Gloom established, are unspecial wastes of life who gave up on their dreams!
Equestria Girls
- Beat up the Alpha Bitch in front of the entire school, and when you pull her out of the hole that you dug using her face, she'll be cute and bashful and desperate for emotional validation, perfect best friend material!
- You can win over an entire school if you perform an impromptu song-and-dance routine in the cafeteria.
- All it takes are a few misunderstandings (and hacked email accounts) to wreck the bonds between extremely close friends, because they'll never bother to talk to each other about it. It's not like these close friends are antagonists who directly targeted them, who they'll forgive at the drop of a hat.
- From a different world and desperately need to get back your world's equivalent of nuclear weapons from a school? Don't steal it while no one's looking, enter a school competition on the very slim chance the school might vote for you to win it back. Even if you're the villain who had no qualms stealing it the first time.
Rainbow Rocks
- Banish your world's greatest enemies to a different world so they can hopefully deal with it before it tries to destroy them too. Just like it's completely okay to dump your garbage over the fence so your neighbor has to clean it up before it completely ruins his yard.
- When you're the only ones giving a second chance to someone who's genuinely turned over a new leaf and who wants only to atone for past sins and become a better person, don't fret too much if you step on their toes a little. You're still treating them better than anyone else does, so it's all good, right?
- Don't feel like you need to stand up for them or anything, either. In fact, feel free to lash out at them as soon as they do something that looks bad, even if you know damn well that their intentions were noble.
- If you're a new addition to a close group of friends, don't bother to point out the obvious mild animosity between the group members until it escalates into a full-blown argument.
- Give Heather Chandler Mind-Control Music, and she will almost succeed in world takeover. Conversely, give Heather McNamara the same powers and she will become obsessed with tacos. Heather Duke will pretty much stay the same.
- Being in a band will automatically give you superpowers and the ability to kick major ass.
- A battle of the bands is literally a battle, not just a music competition, and using magical visuals and saving the world earn you bonus points. Thus, blowing your opponents away with loud guitar chords, unleashing mind control siren fart gas, unleashing actual sirens, and "ponying up" are all valid tactics and won't get you disqualified or trigger a redo of the contest. It's not like a music competition is a contest of musical ability, so why should the non-magical non-pony hoi polloi have a chance at winning just for playing music?
- If you don't forgive someone who mistreated you in the past, you're a horrible person.
Friendship Games
- Never try investigating the supernatural. It's not like there are huge potential benefits. All science is bad.
- Being bullied at your school, with the principal only making it worse? Transfer!
- Don't bully the shy bookworm or she will lose her mind to immense power and try to kill you. Seriously, none of the Shadowbolts ever read Carrie?
- Teenagers are perfectly capable of doing things like baking a near-perfect picture of the Mona Lisa into a cake, doing extreme sports like motorcross, and taking on the forces of evil magic!
- If you're a protagonist, you'll automatically make it to the last rounds of a major sporting event.
- Never trust a prep school principal. They're all snobby, winning-obsessed monsters, especially the ones with a British accent.
- "He/She/They started it!" is actually a totally warranted response that will absolve you from any responsibility you may have for morally questionable incidents. For example: it's fine to cheat to win as long as the opposition did it first. Or: you won't be held responsible for peer pressuring a fellow student into abusing supernatural forces for personal benefit if the principal is the one who started the peer pressuring in the first place.
- Science bad! Repent and pledge your life to Horse Jesus!
Legend of Everfree
- Never go camping. Ever.
- All corporate executives are corrupt, smug bastards, even if their pony counterparts are perfectly nice, and even if they themselves do incredibly nice and generous things like giving someone an extra month to pay a debt on land they now legally owned, even though they were under no obligation to do so and stood to lose a lot of potential money, and then actually honoring what was not a legally binding verbal agreement. What a cad!
- About to lose land that's been in your family for generations? Go batshit insane!
- If you or your friends gain mysterious magical powers, ignore them until someone sings a rousing song about how you should embrace them.
- If you're a protagonist, you will never, EVER have a normal vacation.
- It doesn't matter how much development your relationship gets; being a male and falling in love with Twilight Sparkle is the equivalent of getting a target painted on your back.
- Attempting to claim what you want through entirely peaceful and legal means and being a Graceful Loser in the end makes you the asshole Corrupt Corporate Executive who deserves nothing but the bitter pill of defeat. Attempting to claim what you want through violence, intimidation, risking the lives of others, and becoming a monster both metaphorically and physically makes you the sympathetic Cool Big Sis who deserves to get everything she wanted with zero consequences. This is because... uh... evil corporations... or something?
Specials/Shorts
Rainbow Rocks shorts
- Seriously, put your damn piano on wheels.
- No-one will think you're a dick for causing wanton bodily harm to a bunch of teenagers.
- The best way to channel one's hyperactivity is to induct them into your band.
- If the owners of a store are being dicks to your friend, it's okay to threaten them with physical harm!
Friendship Games shorts
- Investigating things you can't explain will result in physical humor, with you as the victim. See also: Feeling Pinkie Keen.
- It's okay to physically assault and harass people as long as you get good photos out of it.
- Give three stubborn teenagers creative control over a project and vague instructions on how to do it. It'll work out, we promise!
Summertime Shorts
- Your little sister will always upstage you.
- Mondays suck. For everyone.
- It's okay to treat a stuffed toy like a real-life pet, and totally not a sign of insanity or anything!
- You can get a decrepit bus working through excessive singing!
Magical Movie Night
"Movie Magic"
- Feed chocolate to dogs. It won't kill them or anything!
- If you feel upset that you were passed over for a job you clearly have no experience for, the best response is to sabotage the workplace.
- Sabotage your uncle's movie production to try and make the lead actress quit so he'll hire you to play the lead role, even if you have no acting experience, are too young for the part and there's a chance he may hire a different professional actress instead of you.
"Mirror Magic"
- You will be able to perform a complicated parkour move after a few hours of being stuck in a body you're not used to.
- Once again, you can redeem someone by talking and empathizing with her.
Forgotten Friendship
- When feeling alone and ignored by everyone around you, don't try to talk to them and make friends. Always keep quiet and just expect them to automatically notice you.
- Other people are obligated to be your friend, even if you make absolutely no attempts to make friends outside of standing in the corner and sulking.
- Once again, having a friendless background completely justifies trying to ruin other people's lives (especially those who did nothing to harm you in the first place) with otherworldly magic.
- And once again, the best way to win friends is not to be decent, humble, kind, or fun to be around, but to force people to befriend and include you in their lives by showing you are too dangerous, powerful, and unstable to ignore, and then giving a hollow apology. See also: Starlight Glimmer.
- And once again, giving an apology and a sob story, no matter how pathetic, will guarantee people will fully forgive, trust, hold no grudge against, and even befriend you no matter how intentionally malicious and objectively evil your actions were. After all, human beings are the most saintly forgiving creatures in existence!
- Creepy obsessive sociopathic stalkers with violent and dangerous tendencies make the best friends if you just look beyond their heinous actions and befriend and trust them completely. There's a chance you'll end up tied to a bed with your legs broken but what are the odds of that happening to you?
- The fact that you are the kind of emotionally hollow monster who would gleefully and remorselessly torture people as payback for not being your friend definitely isn't the reason nobody wants to be your friend. Thus, gleefully and remorselessly torturing people as payback for not being your friend is a terrific way to get their attention and manipulate them into being your friend! See also: Starlight Glimmer.
- Bring a weapon on campus and make an example of those who wronged you or even those you believe wronged you to deal with social problems at school. This works every time.
- It is totally okay when somebody victim blames you for them attacking you for the stupid reason for not being their friend and then deciding to be friends with them. That is totally not a sign of emotional blackmail.
- If someone who has wronged you in the past is acting erratic or confused (and may have memory issues), the appropriate thing to do is to take schadenfreude in their situation and give a blanket refusal to lend any aid.
- The only way a former enemy can truly show you they've reformed is to make the ultimate sacrifice for you.
Rollercoaster of Friendship
- People who use iPhones are evil. Unless they use our Gameloft App, available everywhere fine apps are found. Those guys are cool beans.
- As we've seen with every Equestria Girls villain ever, except the sirens because anyone who's not a pony or human can die in hell for all the Mane Six care, the best way to make friends is to be a needlessly dangerous violent sociopath until people notice and battle you. Somehow this adds up to friendship.
- There's a fine, fine line between being a pair of close friends and a pair of pining lesbians.
Web Series
Digital Series
- Photobombing group pictures that you weren't supposed to be in won't make you seem like a total dick.
- Ditching a creep is not an appropriate way to use your superpowers.
- For the love of God, don't overwater your plants!
- People will take someone's claim that you're cheating completely seriously, no matter how ridiculous it is.
- Graffiti-ing your friend's workplace is okay as long as you're try to help them keep their job.
- Try to destroy the world, hold a group of children hostage or nearly get people killed out of some childish motivation? You deserve friendship. Petty thievery? It's the stony lonesome for you!
- You're also totally not a Hypocrite with Double Standards if you fantasize about sending people to prison for petty theft after you got off with a mere slap on the wrist for destroying a school and brainwashing children into being an army to invade a foreign nation for you.
- Manipulate an authority figure to get what you want in front of some impressionable young teenagers.
- Caring only about your own wants and needs and falling asleep with the child left unsupervised means you're a good babysitter.
- Smearing other people's private property with graffiti just because you feel any flat surface is yours to deface totally isn't a wrong thing to do. Especially if being empathic of the wants and needs of others is allegedly your character trait.
- Talking during a pop quiz should totally be allowed, and you're totally wrong to call someone out on it or suspect them of cheating for it.
- Everyone should carelessly use explosives for everyday mundane tasks. Especially teenagers. Just blowing stuff up totally solves everything. Go play with dynamite, kids!
