"Our line of work, it's always out there."
The show is remarkable in its ability to extract pathos from characters who might seem to be completely unsympathetic.
As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.
- The ending scene of "Boca": after Tony calls off the hit on Meadow’s soccer coach, Tony gets very drunk to deal with the emotions involved in such a decision and collapses on the floor, and Carmela tries to lead him to bed. He becomes lucid for a moment and says in a tone like a child: "I didn’t hurt nobody". Just the thought of Tony actually trying, from some part of his psyche, to be good is heartbreaking, especially as he only gets worse as the series progresses.
- And Meadow watches the whole thing from above.
- The heart-wrenching cries of Junior's mistress as he breaks it off with her, fires her and humiliated her by shoving a pie she bought for them in her face, all because she circulated the rumor he gives oral sex and she begs for forgiveness, saying she loves him. Along with Junior's clear grief and misery over having to do it in order to preserve his tough-guy image in the mob once he steps outside. It gets worse when one recalls Junior's ultimate fate: he could have had a good woman at his side to ease his transition into dementia, but instead threw it all away because he couldn't afford even the possibility of being thought insufficiently masculine.
- The conversation between Tony and Chris in "The Legend of Tennessee Molitisanti" where Chris reveals he’s also depressed. "I don’t know, it's like the regularness of life is too fucked up for me or something". Tony attempts to use some of the tools Melfi has given him to help, but the two men can’t be vulnerable and instead make fun of suicide and mental illness to brush it off. To see them so close to a breakthrough only to backtrack is difficult to watch, especially considering how much darker their respective paths get.
- Vin Makazian's entire sad situation that ends with his suicide in "Nobody Knows Anything". Tony himself is shocked that Vin took his banter to heart and took his life after a prolonged fight with depression.
- There's Tony's understated look of regret when the madame mentions he considered Tony a close friend in spite of his constant verbal abuse.
- David Scatino's downward spiral in "The Happy Wanderer" and "Bust Out". Starting out as a decent father who runs a sports shop with a slight gambling addiction, everything goes downhill for him when he pleads with Tony to play in the executive poker game. He soon accumulates over $45K of debt, is forced to give away his son's car, and allows Tony and Richie to bankrupt his store in order to pay off the debt. By the end of the season, David becomes a hollow shell, hated and alienated from his family, and moves to a ranch in Nevada in order to start a new life. Even if he mainly brought the situation onto himself and rarely takes responsibility for his actions, it's still hard to not feel sorry for him near the end, especially in one scene where he aims a gun at his mouth sobbing, debating on pulling the trigger.
- "From Where to Eternity":
- Christopher's momentary clinical death, especially Adriana's reaction.
- Tony, stressed from the pressure of Christopher's situation and Carmela urging him to get a vasectomy, finally snaps when AJ accidentally breaks a plate, yelling at him for overeating, and then says "I'm supposed to get a vasectomy when THIS is my male heir? Look at him." Though Tony genuinely tries to apologize and bond with him later, he decides to ultimately cut it short to pursue Matt Bevilaqua. After this, it's kind of no wonder AJ turned out the way he did.
- Matt Bevilaqua's death can be for some, especially his last words, which are essentially him crying out for his mom. Despite his cruelty and utter stupidity, he was really just a dumb kid in way over his head.
- Sal "Big Pussy" Bonpensiero's death in "Funhouse". After spending a whole season denying it, Tony finally accepts and confronts the reality that his closest friend is an FBI informant. Pussy's final scene has him accept his fate at first, sharing one final drink with Tony, Paulie, and Silvio, and asking them not to shoot his face at least. However, as the trio reluctantly pulls out their guns, he begins to have a mental breakdown upon realizing the reality of what's about to happen only to be shot down shortly thereafter. Out of all of the deaths in the series, it's clear Bonpensiero's is the one that impacted (and arguably broke) Tony the most.
- Paulie: (to Pussy) You were like a brother to me.Tony: To all of us...
- "Proshai, Livushka":
- Unexpectedly, Livia's death, mostly because of Tony's quietly grieving after her wake.
- Christopher deploying his CatchPhrase "I'm sorry, T," not as an apology for one of his own fuckups, but in sympathy to Tony, is also very sad in its way.
- Hugh's rant about how he and Mary missed out on so much time with their daughter and her family that they can't get back just because Livia's presence was so unbearable.
- The entire funeral scene, due to how the family tries but just can't properly grieve for Livia. Even Janice's sincerest attempts are clearly just her trying to feel more upset over losing her mother than she actually is. By the end, Carmela finally gets fed up with it all and voices what everyone was thinking: that Livia was a horrible, dysfunctional woman who had been ruining the family for years.
- Dr. Melfi being raped in the stairwell in "Employee of the Month" and the ripple effect of it throughout the episode—including her own ex-husband blaming her for walking to her car alone.
- "University", Ralph beating Tracee, the stripper carrying his child to death in the Bada Bing's parking lot is just plain disturbing. The other gangsters can only stare dumbfounded at the sight of her body.
- The murder of Jackie Jr. in "Army of One", especially for the effect it has on his mother; Rosalie breaks down wailing at the news and during her son's wake and funeral. In the subsequent season, she is shown to be heavily medicated and in a disoriented state of mind, with her boyfriend paying little attention to her.
- Tony and Meadow's argument about her plans to go to Europe and her intense grief over Jackie Jr's death. We even see Tony's machismo crack, as he tells her how he was always trying to set Jackie Jr straight. It shows that deep down, Tony feels some regret for how Jackie Jr ended up, and how he failed his best friend's son.
- Bobby’s grief over Karen’s death in “Christopher”, him weeping over her casket. For the episodes after, he's in such a state of mourning that he can hardly function, and keeps her last baked ziti frozen in the fridge as a keepsake until Janice convinces him to eat it.
- At one point Bobby admits, to Karen's grave, that if it wasn't for their kids he would have killed himself in an attempt to be with her again.
- Ralph Cifaretto's Villainous Breakdown and Heel–Face Turn following his son's crippling injury, and Tony's subsequent brutal murder of him over Pie-O-My's death in "Whoever Did This" is downright tragic. Especially considering that just one episode prior, it was suggested that Ralph may have been sexually abused as a child.
- There's an especially poignant scene in the middle of the episode where Ralph completely breaks down sobbing in Tony's office over Justin's condition and how neglectful he's been as a father over the years. Despite how much of a despicable human being Ralph has been throughout the series, he genuinely did love his son even if he rarely showed it.
- The death of Pie-O-My itself is a tearjerker, just for it being the murder of an innocent animal. Tony, always an animal lover, can barely keep himself together when he has to watch her charred corpse being dragged away.
- In "Whitecaps", Carmela gets fed up with Tony's cheating and angrily confronts him. The two go back and forth throughout the episode until Tony realizes that his staying in the house is not good for the family and willingly leaves.
- Carmela's entire breakdown is just hard to watch. After seasons of putting on a strong front, she just utterly collapses when she realizes Tony's been cheating on her with at least three other women after promising her he'd stop. The final straw was one of his goomahs calling their home. By the time she throws Tony out, she's crying so hard she can hardly breathe.
- AJ, who's usually a self-absorbed asshole, actually tears up and asks if his father's leaving because AJ asked to come live with him. Tony grabs his son, assures him that that is not the reason, and kisses his forehead. Meadow, eyes filled with tears, wails that her dad should go back to counseling.
- Little Carmine’s reaction to his father being on his deathbed.
- Little Carmine:(crying) I love so much and I can’t do shit.
- The ending of "Where's Johnny?"
- "Don't you love me?"
- Sympathy for the Devil time here - "In Camelot" tells how Tony's father, "Johnny Boy" Soprano, carried on an affair with a woman named Fran Felstein, choosing to be with her, even while Livia was pregnant with their potential fourth child. Livia suffered serious complications and was sent to the hospital and eventually lost the baby due to massive bleeding. Johnny Boy still chose to party with his mistress, then forced his son to lie to his bed-ridden mother saying they went to a New York Yankees baseball game and stayed in New York. Livia saw through Johnny and Tony's lies, and the utter betrayal she felt at her time of anguish was all over her face. Livia clearly had her issues, but no woman should have to suffer like that. In this light, is it any wonder she felt such lingering resentment towards her son?
- While Livia suffering a miscarriage is tragic, this is at a point where she has subjected Tony to over a decades worth of abuse. If Livia had actually managed to nurture a strong and trusting bond with her son, Tony probably would have been in her corner at the time. If anything, the scene is brilliant at showing how Livia has not only literally lost a child, but figuratively in how fractured things are between her and Tony.
- Adriana's death in "Long Term Parking", not just because it's the death of one of the series regulars, but because she begs Silvio for her life and tries to crawl away on her hands and knees before he shoots her like a wild animal in the woods. Tony, the man who ordered her death, is shown to be grieving over her.
- Not helping is that, before revealing that she was actually in the car with Silvio, Adriana is shown driving off on her own. Perhaps if Adriana realized Christopher is undyingly loyal to Tony and would choose the family over her every time, even with the current dispute, perhaps she could have escaped.
- On top of that is Tony telling Adriana that Christopher was in the hospital for a suicide attempt, effectivley blinding her with guilt. Of course, that was all a lie that she realizes far too late...
- Also the flashback in "The Ride", where Christopher is shown telling Tony about her. He's distraught and crying, and begs Tony "Don't make me do it, I can't do it". He can’t bring himself to kill Adrianna, and can barely even bring himself to tell Tony. And when Tony tears his shirt to search for a wire, Chris cries "How could you even think that?" He's genuinely hurt that Tony would think of him as a traitor.
- Before all that Christopher was seriously considering taking up Adriana's offer until he notices a worn down, miserable, working class couple that uncannily resembles himself and Adriana. Not only could seeing their children have reminded Chris that Adriana most likely could never give him the children he wanted, Chris also could have figured that he'd be trading his more luxurious life as a gangster for a normal, run down one, further sealing Adriana's fate.
- Tony B. going on a self-destructive rampage and sabotaging his attempt at legitimacy. It's tragic because he was just such a nice guy with real potential in the civilian world. Instead, he goes back to his old ways, sets off a devastating gang war, and gets murdered by his beloved cousin.
- Carmela's heartwrenching monologue to Tony, after he has been shot and left in a coma with survival uncertain in "Mayham".
- "The Fleshy Part of the Thigh":
- When Paulie learns the true identity of his mother, the look on his face is heartbreaking. He then denounces her as nothing but a whore burning in Hell, refuses to go to her funeral, and (temporarily) disowns Nucci after everything she did for him.
- Near the end, Paulie leaves the room and breaks down sobbing, witnessing a mother beg Tony not to hurt her son. This occurs soon after Paulie discovered Marianucci was his aunt, not his birth mother.
- Not helping is Paulie proceeding to attack her son himself and threaten to kill him if he tells Tony about it or refuses to pay the demanded money, even if it was done to keep Nucci at Green Grove.
- Ruthless crime boss that Johnny Sack is, you'd have to be even more ruthless not to feel some sympathy for the man when he's utterly humiliated in front of friends and family at his oldest daughter's wedding, slapped in handcuffs, and dragged back to jail; all this while new bride Allegra watches tearfully and helplessly. You can't blame the man for breaking down and weeping.
- Considering the Feds actually drove directly in front of the newly weds' car to the point of nearly colliding with it, one can't really be blamed for suspecting that they did this on purpose.
- Tony's run from the FBI in the same incident also highlights that while immediately booking it was probably a good idea, they were never after him specifically in the end — and yet he ran for presumably miles throughout the backwoods of the town and along the creek to do his best to avoid their attention out of sheer paranoia. It's some strong Foreshadowing that Tony will probably live the rest of his days never knowing when the cops might be ratted on him or a mob member might come for his head.
- "Cold Stone":
- The murder of Vito Spatafore by Phil Leotardo and his people for being gay. And the way that Leotardo deals with him is cruel as hell, involving having his mouth taped shut and then having him bludgeoned to death while he looks on impassively. The look on poor Vito's face alone as he realizes he's going to die is just heartwrenching.
- At the end of the episode, Vito's kids finding out the truth of what was really going on by reading the newspaper. Not only has Vito most likely become a Broken Pedestal to them after his lies got revealed, it's likely that they are also going to adopt the homophobic viewpoints of their family.
- After Vito's murder, Phil is seen lying in bed staring at the ceiling, and he's neither jubilant nor satisfied. He can also be seen gripping the bed he's sitting on nervously during the murder. One gets the sense that deep down Phil really didn't want to kill Vito, who he truly did respect as a friend and family member, but as with so many characters on the show he felt hamstrung by the weight of mob tradition and will have to live with his actions for the rest of his life now.
- Carmela's mixture of fear and sorrow during her existential crisis in France. A particularly tragic scene involves Rosalie, who herself has experienced an overwhelming amount of loss in seven short years, hugging and humming to Carmela after she breaks down crying.
- Look, I found Cosette!
- Carmela during dinner asks Rosalie how she has been coping with the deaths of her husband and son, to which Rosalie responds by going into a Tranquil Fury for being reminded of it during what should be a good time.
- Johnny Sack's eventual quiet, understated death in prison after a long, debilitating battle with cancer in "Stage Five". That he was always one of the more sympathetic mobsters (his devotion to his wife and children being his biggest redeeming quality) certainly makes this harder to watch.
- Ginny's last words to her husband: "Johnny, do you want a cigarette?" Previously she was furious with him for smoking despite his cancer. Now, realizing her husband is taking his last breaths, she desperately tries to make him stay just a little while longer.
- "Chasing It":
- The death of Hesh's lady friend Renata, and Hesh's reaction to it. Also, the fact that Tony's friendship with Hesh is over.
- Vito Jr. being abducted to a boot camp in Idaho just because Tony lost too much money at gambling and went with the cheapest option he can think of to rehabilitate Vito Jr. out of state.
- Bianca's breakup with AJ. The guy was beginning to have a positive outlook in life and even started taking steps into becoming a responsible adult all just for her, and she dumps him because he wasn't the mobster-type she thought he was.
- Walk Like a Man:
- Christopher relapsing and trying to open up to Paulie and the guys about his newborn daughter and Paulie making cruelly insensitive jokes about her. The distorted laughter only illustrates to Christopher that he chose to sacrifice the love of his life for these men, from Benny to even Tony, who don't give a shit about him. Alas, Poor Villain indeed...
- In the same episode, we see Chris at an AA meeting, talking with a guy he's befriended after discussing their shared experiences with being judged for them being addicts. Chris obliquely talks about Adriana and its clear that he deeply regrets giving her up to Tony and the crew, holding back tears as he says so. It's dampened a bit by Chris' refusal to admit his own culpability in her death, but it's hard not to feel for him while sharing this human moment.
- Carmela's reaction to her blood-relative Christopher's death in "Kennedy and Heidi" is gut-wrenching; she loses her cousin in a horrible accident and he had been like a son to Tony.
- Tony tearfully holding A.J. after the latter tries to drown himself and Carmela's breakdown after checking him into a psychiatric hospital in "The Second Coming".
- Bobby's death in "The Blue Comet". His last words are him lamenting the apathy his son has towards his hobby and reflecting on the relationship with his son in general.
- When the assassins leave, they pass a father huddling to protect his two terrified children, who are screaming and crying in fear — another reminder of the peripheral consequences of the mob's actions.
- "Made in America":
- Janice's last scene with Tony, in which it's hinted that her life as a widow will be just as miserable as it was before she married Bobby (or worse, since she now has to raise an infant daughter and two stepchildren from Bobby's first marriage all by herself). She has also completed her transformation into being just like her late mother Livia, which she doesn't notice herself but Tony wistfully does.
- Tony's conversation with Meadow after she announces her engagement with Patrick Parisi. All he wanted for her was a more mundane, stable life outside of the mob, preferably as a pediatrician, but years of warping her mindset with skewed views on the Mafia and law enforcement caused her to lean towards pursuing a career as a white-collar defense attorney. Tony can only nod his head in disappointment as Meadow says the same things he's been saying to her all those years.
- As if Tony and Paulie's final conversation isn't implicitly sad enough, after Tony departs, he leaves Paulie sunbathing alone outside of Satriale's as he had at the start of the show. The iconic location, once crowded, colorful and lively with the conversation of the crew, now stands cold, gray, and nearly lifeless. All the tables outside are empty now that most of the members are dead, critically injured, or in hiding. It's a depressing send-off and demonstrates that regardless of Tony's fate, their life is well and truly over.
- Uncle Junior's final scene, in which Tony realizes that he doesn't even remember his own family, or the man he used to be, that Tony waited too long to visit him and now it's too late. When Tony tries to remind Junior about his past glories and how he and Johnny used to run the North Jersey mob, Junior can't recall and simply says "Huh. That's nice." All of his years of fighting to the top, all the violence and stress, all of it is completely inconsequential in the end. All Junior really remembers is playing catch with Tony and the phrase "this thing of ours." When Tony rises at the end and walks away silently, he's visibly fighting tears. A quiet scene that manages to be one of the most haunting in the entire show.
- As the Sopranos are sitting at Holsten's, AJ repeats Tony's old advice to "try to remember the times that were good." It turns out Tony has completely forgotten about the time he said those words to AJ and Meadow and, when AJ confirms they were his own words, Tony can only shrug and say "it's true, I guess." With everything that has happened since the first season, Tony has become a shell of his former self.
- Combined with Nightmare Fuel. If Tony really was whacked in the diner at the end of the show, then he was shot in the head right in front of his family, with Carmela and AJ sitting at the same table as him when it happened, probably getting splattered by his blood. Meadow, who walked into the diner at the exact same time he was shot, gets to see it play out, her last sight of Tony before she could even speak to her father one last time, and Meadow in the doorway potentially being the last thing Tony sees when he dies.
- There's also a group of young Boy Scouts eating at the diner, so they'll have that to scar them for life.
- For those who don't believe Tony was whacked in the diner, it's still depressing to view the ending as Tony so paranoid that he envisions that there are potential assassins in everyday situations, and he'll be hounded for the rest of his dwindling days.
