Sorting Algorithm Of Mortality / Literature

To use the Sorting Algorithm of Mortality, simply add the Scream Score for each applicable row, then divide by the number of applicable rows (at this point, 13 or fewer). Remember: this is a relative score, so you need at least 3 characters from the same movie or series to establish a baseline. The original article is here. For characters who have already snuffed it, see Sorting Algorithm of Deadness.

Likelihood of death	So dead		Average life expectancy		Die? Me? Ha!
Scream Score!	5	4	3	2	1
Age	Older and Wiser	Parent, Clueless teens	Single adult	Protagonist teens	Child
Sexual Orientation	Slut, Bisexual, Innocent Virgin	Gay	Straight	Reluctant	Celibate
Love Interests by Genre	Rich Bitch, Horror Genre	Hooker with a Heart of Gold, Temporary	Shallow, Romance show	Shrinking Violet	Damsel in Distress, Action Series
Role	Villains, Faceless Goons, Mooks, Red Shirt, The Mentor , The Big Guy	Loners, Plucky Comic Relief, Mauve Shirt, Long-lost Friend, The Smart Guy	The Lancer, Hero of Another Story, The Sidekick, The Scrappy	Ignored Expert, Those Two Guys, The Heart, Supporting Protagonist	Hero, Creator's Pet
Race	Black, Twofer's, Leomon	Mexican	Asian	Indian/Native American	Caucasian or The Same As The Writer
Gender	Tough Girl, Ambiguous Gender,	Feminine Man	Male	Token Girl	Action Girl, Final Girl
Aesthetics	Ugly	Fat	"Average"	Fashionably Scarred	The Cutie
Personality	Straw Nihilist, Crazy Survivalist, Innocent, Pragmatic	Jerk Jock, The Ditz, Insufferable Genius	Jerk with a Heart of Gold	The Captain, The Watson	All-Loving Hero, Friend to All Living Things
Flaws	Too Dumb to Live, Skeptical, Genre Blind, Dirty Coward, Greedy	Fell astray, The Stoner, Butt-Monkey (gritty), Smartass	Wears Glasses	Crippling Phobia	Mentally Handicapped
"Virtues"	Holier Than Thou, Curious, Pragmatic, Ambitious	Quiet Girls and Quiet Guys	Smart, Genre Savvynote In a Deconstruction or Parody, increase to 5	Determinator	The Pollyanna, The Fool
Species	Robots (non-living), Undead, Snakes, Arthropods	Cats, Clones, Mechanical Lifeforms	Human, Human Aliens	Pretty Aliens	Dogs (except in literature) (or Disney)
Occupation	Retiring Law Officer, Villain by Default, Happy Family Man, Competent secondary female	Military Commander, Anyone Serving Under Him, Hero's Best Friend, Mentor	Scientist With Questionable Ethics, Innocent Bystander	Adventurer Archaeologist, Teacher	Super Hero, Nun
Prognosis	You Are Already Dead, Take a Moment to Catch Your Death, Post-Mortem One-Liner, Last Stand	Your Days Are Numbered, Pre-Mortem One-Liner, You Shall Not Pass!	Prepare to Die, He Didn't Make It, Time Bomb, Pre Ass Kicking One Liner, Jump Scare	You Have No Chance to Survive, If My Calculations Are Correct	Badass Boast, Million to One Chance, Ineffectual Death Threat
Health	Chunky Salsa Rule, Incurable Cough of Death	Overdrawn at the Blood Bank, Soap Opera Disease	I Can Still Fight!, Made of Plasticine, Littlest Cancer Patient	Made of Iron, Only a Flesh Wound, Delicate and Sickly	Nigh-Invulnerable, Healing Factor, Consumption
	5	4	3	2	1
Pool predictions	Killed Mid-Sentence	Drop A Bridge On Him	Sacrificial Lion, Stuffed into the Fridge	Sacrificial Lamb, Dead Star Walking	Plot Armor, The Worf Effect

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Example Cast:

Series or Film NameDescription of who's who and why they're likely to snuff it.

• Character A:
  • Row 1: Value 5-1
  • Row 2: Value 5-1
  • Row 3: Value 5-1
    • Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
• Character B:
  • Row 1: Value 5-1
  • Row 2: Value 5-1
  • Row 3: Value 5-1
    • Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
• Character C:
  • Row 1: Value 5-1
  • Row 2: Value 5-1
  • Row 3: Value 5-1
    • Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun

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A Song of Ice and Fire

Danaerys

• Age: Protagonist teens; 2
• Sexual Orientation: Straight; 3
• Role: The Hero; 1
• Race: White; 1
• Aesthetics: Hottest thing alive, 1
• Personality: The Captain; 2
• Virtues: Action Girl; 2
  • Final Score: 1.714. Maybe anyone can die, but Dany's sticking around for a while.

Now let's see a character most fans want to see very dead:

Ramsay Bolton

• Age: single adult, though technically married: 3
• Sexual Orientation: technically straight, 3
• Role: Complete Monster, 5
• Race: White, 1
• Aesthetics: not an attractive guy. 5.
• Personality: sadist. 4.
• Flaws: Have I mentioned that he's a sadist? Also, too many others to count. 5
• "Virtues": He's pretty pragmatic at torture. 5.
• Species: Human. 3.
• Occupation: Villain by default, 5
  • Final score: 39/10=3.9 - hope for the best

And everyone's favorite Affably Evil Littlefinger:

• Age: single adult, 3
• Sexual Orientation: straight, 3
• Role: villain AND Obi-Wan, 5
• Race: White, 1
• Aesthetics: Average, 3
• Personality: Magnificent Bastard, Manipulative Bastard, 4
• Flaws: Megalomania, inferiority complex, greed. 5.
• "Virtues": Smart, savvy, 3
• Species: Human, 3
• Occupation: Mentor and villain, 5
  • Final score: 35/10 = 3.5 - better chances than Ramsay Snow, but still has to be careful.

Jon Snow

• Age: Protagonist teen, 2
• Sexual Orientation: Straight despite attempts at celibacy, but reluctant due to his position, 2
• Role: The hero of his story, 1
• Race: White, 1
• Aesthetics: Notably above average, so we'll say, 2
• Personality: Flawed but still competent and good enough to be considered Messianic Archetype, 1
• Flaws: Possibly Genre Blind considering his more idealist attitude in this Crapsack World, 5.
• "Virtues": Pragmatic, Quiet, Smart, Determinator. Difficult to say, but we'll average him out and round up to a 3
• Species: Human, 3
• Occupation: Commander of the Watch, 4
  • Final Score: 24/10 = 2.4 - Better than Ramsay or Littlefinger, naturally, but not as good as Daenarys. He has cause to be concerned, especially considering what world he lives in. And, considering recent events, he may already be dead. Knowing Martin, Jon could go either way at this point.

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