To use the Sorting Algorithm of Mortality, simply add the Scream Score for each applicable row, then divide by the number of applicable rows (at this point, 13 or fewer). Remember: this is a relative score, so you need at least 3 characters from the same movie or series to establish a baseline. The original article is here. For characters who have already snuffed it, see Sorting Algorithm of Deadness.
Example Cast:
Series or Film NameDescription of who's who and why they're likely to snuff it.
- Character A:
- Row 1: Value 5-1
- Row 2: Value 5-1
- Row 3: Value 5-1
- Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
- Character B:
- Row 1: Value 5-1
- Row 2: Value 5-1
- Row 3: Value 5-1
- Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
- Character C:
- Row 1: Value 5-1
- Row 2: Value 5-1
- Row 3: Value 5-1
- Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
James Bond Someday there'll be that one bullet, knife, poison dart, or killer shoe that gets him......
- Row 1: Age: SingleAdult. There was his ten-second marriage in On Her Majesty's Secret Service, but yeah. 3.
- Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Definitely straight. That bit with him emerging from the sea in Casino Royale (2006) does not count. 3.
- Row 3: Love Interests by Genre: Temporary. [BondGirls] and everything......4.
- Row 4: Role: The Hero. 1.
- Row 5: Race: Caucasian, obviously. 1.
- Row 6: Aesthetics: [FashionablyScarred]. There's one on his face and another on his hand, but neither prevent all them Bond Girls from wanting to get into his pants...2.
- Row 7: Personality: Tough one. He's a mix between The Captain and a Crazy Survivalist. Average: 4.
- Row 8: Flaws: None of them really. 1 I guess....
- Row 9: Virtues: Smart and Genre Savvy at times. 3.
- Row 10: Species: Human. 3.
- Row 11: Occupation: Adventurer is the closest. 2.
- Total divided by rows: 27/11 = 2.45. He'll live for now.
Avengers: Infinity War
- Iron Man:
- Row 1: Age: He has gradually become Older and Wiser. 5.
- Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Slut. 5.
- Row 3: Role: The Hero. 1.
- Row 4: Race: White. 1.
- Row 5: Gender: Male. 3.
- Row 6: Aesthetics: Fashionably Scarred in the chest and the arm. 3.
- Row 7: Personality: Insufferable Genius. 4.
- Row 8: Flaws: The most snarky Smartass of them all. 4.
- Row 9: Virtues: Incredibly smart. 3.
- Row 10: Species: Human. 3.
- Row 11: Occupation: Super Hero. 1.
- Total divided by rows: 33/11 = 3.0. Maybe work on that armor for this time.
- Loki:
- Row 1: Age: Single adult. 3.
- Row 2: Sexuality: Straight. 3.
- Row 3: Role: The Villain of Thor and The Avengers who continued to betray his brother well into The Dark World and Ragnarok. 5.
- Row 4: Race: Quite white. 1.
- Row 5: Gender: Male. 3.
- Row 6: Aesthetics: Average? 3.
- Row 7: Personality: Jerk with a Heart of Gold really buried under all that evil. 3.
- Row 8: Flaws: The brother of Thor who fell into villainy. 4.
- Row 9: Virtues: Exemplifies Evil Virtues, including the ever-fatal Ambition. 5.
- Row 10: Species: Asgardians are aliens who are visually identical to humans. 3.
- Total Divided by Rows: 22/10 = 2.2.
- Hawkeye:
- Row 1: Age: Middle-aged parent. 4.
- Row 2: Sexuality: Straight. 3.
- Row 3: Role: His experience has made him The Mentor to Wanda. 5.
- Row 4: Race: Quite white. 1.
- Row 5: Gender: Male. 3.
- Row 6: Aesthetics: Average? 3.
- Row 7: Personality: Pragmatic enough to do whatever dirty trick wins a fight. Risks Death by Pragmatism. 5.
- Row 8: Flaws: Butt-Monkey. 4.
- Row 9: Virtues: Pragmatic. 5.
- Row 10: Species: A human among aliens. 3.
- Row 11: Occupation: Happy Family Man. 5.
- Total divided by rows: 41/11 = 3.727. He might as well wear a bullseye for Thanos.
- Groot
- Row 1: Age: Hero teen. 2.
- Row 2: Sexuality: As a plant, he's probably an example of asexuality. 2.
- Row 3: Role: Plucky Comic Relief. 4.
- Row 4: Gender: Male. 3.
- Row 5: Aesthetics: The Cutie. 1.
- Row 6: Personality: As of his whiny teenage years, Groot's become a Jerk with a Heart of Gold. 3.
- Row 7: Flaws: Smartass enough to mimic everything Quill said in his one teenage scene. 4.
- Row 8: Virtues: The Fool. 1.
- Row 9: Species: A humanoid alien with a lot of strange tree-like traits. 3.
- Row 10: Occupation: Mainly aligns with the Guardians because of his friendship with Rocket, making him a likely Friendly Target. 4.
- Total divided by rows: 27/10 = 2.7.
- The Vision:
- Row 1: Age: Technically a child. 1.
- Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Implicitly straight. 3.
- Row 3: Love Interests by Genre: Love interest to Scarlet Witch in an Action Series. 1.
- Row 4: Role: With his Infinity Stone, he is The Big Guy of the post-Ultron Avengers. 5.
- Row 5: Race: Artificially white, sometimes. 1.
- Row 6: Gender: Male. 3.
- Row 7: Aesthetics: Average? 3.
- Row 8: Personality: Innocent enough to be worthy of Thor's hammer. 5.
- Row 9: Flaws: Smartass? 4.
- Row 10: Virtues: Holier Than Thou. 5.
- Row 11: Species: A robot, one that can be rebuilt. 5.
- Row 12: Occupation: Superhero. 1.
- Total divided by rows: 37/12 = 3.083. Didn't see that one coming.
- Spider-Man:
- Row 1: Age: Protagonist teen. 2.
- Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight. 3.
- Row 3: Role: The Hero. 1.
- Row 4: Race: White. 1.
- Row 5: Gender: Male. 3.
- Row 6: Aesthetics: "Average." 3.
- Row 7: Personality: A nerd who builds lego Death Stars and obsesses over the Avengers. 3.
- Row 8: Virtues: An unabashed Geek. 3.
- Row 9: Species: Human. 3.
- Row 10: Occupation: Super Hero. 1.
- Total divided by rows: 23/10 = 2.3. Peter's sticking around for a few more movies.