How Clean is Your House? was a British television program featuring Kim Woodburn and Aggie Mackenzie in their quest to clean some of Britain's (and later America's) filthiest flats. Rather a Lighter and Softer version of Hoarders, the series focused less on the personalities of the occupants and more on the straightforward matter of cleaning, offering practical household tips and solutions for common cleaning problems. These helpful hints, plus the colorful personalities of Kim and Aggie, drive the show.
The show has Kim and Aggie visiting everybody from families to single people, some of the people have fallen into a rut of leaving their house a mess, others are hoarding items without fear, the women help them create cleaning routines and hints to help the home do the cleaning without the hassle.
Once the rooms are finished Kim and Aggie show it to the owners and they leave only to return two weeks later to see if they have kept up with the cleaning.
The show aired in 2003 and ran until being cancelled in 2009, it has spun off into several countries and other programs starring Kim and Aggie.
This show contains examples of the following:
- Big Beautiful Woman: Kim, if only in her own opinion. Her husband apparently refers to her as "all meat; a real treat."
- Brainy Brunette: Aggie, the brunette of the pair, also has the scientific background.
- Crazy Cat Lady: There's been a few cat owners on the show, there's been crap everywhere, but let's face it Cori the Bird Lady was the worst, with her birds pooping everywhere.
- Also Averted with Kim who had a cat herself.
- Credits Gag: Most of the episodes end with one:
- One had the pair in a Chippy, with Kim cleaning the tiles with the vinegar.
- They did a show which ended with the kids having a bouncy castle for keeping up with the cleaning, then the camera pans to Kim and Aggie cleaning the sides.
- They did one in Nottingham which had them dusting the Robin Hood Statue.
- Then the one Scottish episode had them dusting a group of bagpipers with them dancing as well.
- Dirty Old Woman: Kim's coquettish flirting.
- First-Name Basis: In Britain especially, everyone refers to them simply as Kim and Aggie—even when they're not on camera.
- Fish out of Water: Pat from Surrey had been a Church Verger all her life, living in a house that came with the job, however now retired she moved to her current bedsit but brought all her things with her meaning her house was a mess.
- Hidden Heart of Gold: As stern as they are with their charges, Kim and Aggie have run into people with genuine tragedies and emotional issues. As soon as the tears start, both Kim and Aggie melt into sympathy and kindness. This happens rarely as the show generally strives to be upbeat and light-hearted.
- Instant Costume Change: When they're ready to start cleaning, Kim and Aggie magically appear in white coveralls and custom marabou-trimmed rubber gloves.
- In one of the transformations Kim did a Wonder Woman spin briefly turned into the costume before her whites.
- It Came from the Fridge: Boy the fridges needed their own episode, they have found ones with bugs in them, one had mummified eggs and the one milk carton had been there so long it had turned into rotten cheese.
- In the one house they had a freezer that was broken and they had never removed it, Aggie had it quarantined and looking at the camera footage showed what looked like ice but it was a fungus called Geotrichum which can cause lung infections and destroys disc data, the mother broke down in horror.
- Large Ham: Kim, in all senses of the phrase.
- Lemony Narrator: The voiceover frequently verges on this.
- Lonely Bachelor Pad: They have had widowers, divorcees and bachelors who want to get a relationship and ask for Kim and Aggie's help.
- There was the one guy who was clearly still a Momma's Boy going over to her house rather than his own and he was using a sleeping bag rather than a bed.
- Men Can't Keep House: It's happened many of the single men have left their houses to rubbish only for Kim and Aggie to come through to help them.
- There was a father and son that lived together and they had a gross looking deep fat fryer, Aggie wanted to bin it but the dad refused to see it be thrown away so he challenged Aggie who did manage to clean it.
- In a later episode they had a biker whose daughter was due to marry and she wanted to stay at the family home in the morning, it was clear that he wasn't focused so Kim and Aggie took him to the fitting and upon seeing his daughter in her dress, he broke down and he began to push his weight.
- Neat Freak: Kim and Aggie.
- Product Placement: A subtle shift occurred between the British and American seasons: while the British episodes focused on traditional cleaning methods, such as generic biological powder and sugar soap, the American episodes dropped a lot of brand-name cleaning products, even offering a prominently-displayed pile of sponsored products to the family after the clean-up was finished. This shift is probably related to the BBC's commitment to commercial-free programming as opposed to America's more commercial-friendly television.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: Inverted: Kim and Aggie. While Kim frequently wore blue while Aggie wore brighter colors, personality-wise, Kim was the aggressive, cheeky Red Oni to Aggie's more reserved Blue Oni.
- Scare Chord: The first half of the program, while Kim and Aggie explore the messy home, the music is full of ominous stings.
- Simple, yet Awesome: Kim and Aggie will focus their cleaning products on old fashioned go-tos like lemon and vinegar rather than common cleaners to show how easy cleaning is with items that could be thrown away.
- Someday This Will Come in Handy: The hoarders in the show will give this reason for having rooms filled with rubbish, there was one woman who kept trying to keep things that were logically trash, another was upset to see it being thrown away but she knew it was for the best.
- One of the children who wasn't as bad began writing down all the tips that Kim and Aggie said to help himself and his mother.
- Terrified of Germs: Aggie—exaggerated for comedy, as she is also the one who takes bacterial samples from the homes.
- The Pig-Pen: Subverted. Invariably the occupants of the messy homes keep themselves well-groomed and clean so that outsiders won't suspect the conditions in which they live. Truth in Television, as this form of concealment is a common trait amongst hoarders who still interact with the outside world.
- The Reveal: The final third of each show is devoted to a shot of the former mess which fades into the newly cleaned version. The show makes a point of never replacing worn or filthy furnishings and carpets, instead preferring to restore all the owner's original items to a like-new state.
- In one exceptional situation when the owner had practically no furniture, Kim and Aggie accepted donations from his friends and family to refurnish his flat. They then restored the secondhand items in their usual way.
- Three-Act Structure: All episodes follow this structure. First act shows the terrible condition of the home, second act demonstrates the cleaning process, and the third act shows the family's reaction to The Reveal.
- Trash of the Titans: A frequent feature of the homes.
- Truth in Television: The show might be light hearted but it did drop some harsh truths:
- As said above hoarders that interact with the outside world are always seen as well groomed.
- The fact that Aggie wouldn't sugarcoat what diseases were. In fact some people were so shameful that it made them keep their promise.
- Ungrateful Bastard: There's been a few that could care less about the mess and have in fact failed to follow up:
- There was one farm woman who claimed that she didn't clean as it made her bad tempered, she showed that it had been a waste of time in the follow up.
- In the one series they would show old episodes but rather than show the original follow up of 2 weeks later, they would return at the present time and well some people broke their promise like Cori the bird woman.
- But in the one episode there was a single woman that was too busy to keep it clean, she admitted that she was only doing it so she would hire a cleaner afterwards, she was blunt about not caring to the point that Kim and Aggie decided not to do the two weeks later visit and the narrator reveals that the woman has yet to hire a cleaner.
- Questioning Title?: How Clean Is Your House?
