Anyway, I-I'll won't say too much got it? I'm a busy man! My name is Principal McVicker. And NO! It's not "McDicker" like t-those two dumbasses say! Call me that and I-I'll shove my foot up your ass! Uhhh yeah! I'll do that! Back on topic, I run Highland High to the b-best of my ability and I-I'll actually have a peaceful time if it wasn't for B-Beavis and Butt-Head! I HATE those two bastards! If any of you are familiar with our show, then you'll know those two morons plague my life each and every time! E-Even when I'm minding my own business! Uhhh, if I could KILL those two bastards, I'll do it! B-But the law says I can't! I'd lose my j-job. S-So I'm just stuck living in fear of those two little bastards hoping they won't get me hurt in some w-way! I let Buzzcut do the ass-kicking most of the time. O-Of course those bastards torment me; bad stuff always happens to me... Uhhh... oh no... pops in pills At l-least Ms. Morgendorffer was w-wise enough to leave H-Highland! Coming to t-think of it, why did she attend my school but her sister never did?
T-These are my t-tropes I guess. Just read them and l-leave me alone! Uhhh yeah! Especially if you're B-Beavis and Butt-Head. Uhhhhh!
- The Alcoholic: If those two bastards weren't alive, I-I wouldn't be this...b-but it's the only thing that helps calm my nerves around those two morons.
- Anti-Villain: O-Of course I'm not a villain! I'm just doing my job! Those two bastards are the real villains of the show c-considering the amount of CHAOS they cause with their stupidity! B-besides, that other principal from L-Lawndale is far worse than I am and she gets away with it too! Maybe I s-should've transferred the b-bastards to h-her school j-just to s-show her how it f-feels!
- Arch-Enemy: Uhhh, I don't read that comic book crap that's all the rage with you kids, b-but I guess you could say I AM Beavis and Butt-Head's archenemy. They certainly are mine! Those two idiots are the BANE of my existence and it seems like I'm the only person around who-who's trying to d-do something about them. Uhhh, yeah!
- Back from the Dead: I-I honestly wished that heart attack I had killed me at the end of s-season seven... But of course when the stupid show was revived for another season, so did I... Uhhh no...
- Bad Boss: Mr. Van Driessen is just as bad as those two bastards! I-I still think he was the reason why they are so damn stupid which was w-why I fired his ass in the episode "School Test."
- Bald of Evil: W-Who are you calling bald and evil, you bastard?! I guess I-I'm bald but I'm NOT evil! W-We already discussed this just above under "Anti-Villain" dumbass!
- Berserk Button: Uhhh... I ALREADY told you! BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD!!! J-Just mentioning those two bastards is enough to m-make me fly into a rage! Uhhh yeah! If I-I could just k-kill those two idiots...uh huh huh huh huh huh! downs more pills
- Burger Fool: Uhhh, what? No! I'm a high school principal! Not some failure at Burger World. Uhhh, it's those two bastards again, isn't it? That was just them fantasizing about tormenting me! Uhhh, I wouldn't be caught dead cleaning a grill for them, and n-neither would I have a half-dozen kids on that kind of salary. Uhhh, those two just won't ever leave me be, even in their heads.
- Butt-Monkey: I-I shouldn't be this! Whenever those two are around, b-bad stuff happens to me! It's not fair! And don't c-call me that, you s-sound just like them; they use that kind of w-word.
- Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: I d-don't even a-appear in the newest series. F-finally free from those b-bastards! They're the future's p-problem now! Another me even gets to find his version of them guilty with the death sentence! And yet those so-called "s-smart" (m-more like smartass) versions of those t-turds w-weaseled their way out! Uhh... Or at least for now.
- Cigarette of Anxiety: I-is this really a surprise, given what those two little bastards put me through on a daily basis? I kn-know that smoking's b-b-bad for me, but I wouldn't have to d-do it if I didn't have so much stress! Uhh...
- Cool and Unusual Punishment: Uhhh, suspending those two idiots might give me a break, but it gives me no satisfaction because they like it! So get this, I once forced them to not laugh in school for a whole week! Uhhh, huh huh, boy did I get them then! Uh huh huh huh huh huh!
- Dean Bitterman: Uhhh, shut up! I'm just trying to, uhhh, keep the school running and the students in line! A-and you'd be really bitter too if you had to deal with students like B-Beavis and Butt-Head all the time! Uhhh, yeah! T-they give Highland High a bad name! Uhhhh!
- Dirty Old Man: S-SHUT UP!!! What happened in that movie was supposed to be behind c-closed doors! W-what were those two morons even doing there at the motel? I expelled them for that, but that d-didn't last long! Uhhh!
- Drowning My Sorrows: I-I need to do this whenever I have to deal with those two troublemakers...I even keep a bottle of whiskey in my desk drawer i-in case of emergencies...special idiot emergencies! Uhhhh!
- Enraged by Idiocy: Y-You would be too if you always had to watch those little bastards keep messing things up! Well, except when they do it to themselves sometimes. Serves them right, but how the hell are they or Mr. Van Driessen not even dead yet?!
- Failure Is the Only Option: Uhhh, you think I haven't tried getting Beavis and Butt-Head out of my hair? Well, I'll have you know that I have! Many times! I've tried expelling them, I've tried pushing them back to elementary, I tried getting them arrested, I even once swore they were dead, which was what c-caused that horrible heart attack seeing them a-alive! Uhhh, but they always come back! Always! There's just no getting rid of those bastards!
- Goofy Print Underwear: SH-SHUT UP! Little pain in the ass! I already told you, that was behind closed doors! My underwear is n-neither your or those two idiots' business! Uhhh, yeah!
- Hair-Trigger Temper: I-It doesn't take much to piss me off! Especially if your name is "Beavis and Butt-Head". H-Hell, I'm pretty sure those t-two dolts caused my real hair to fall out! Uhhh, yeah!
- Hell Is That Noise: Uhhh, if there's one thing I can't stand, it-it's that damn laughing. Those bastards, th-they never stop! It's just "Huh huh huh huh" and "Heh heh heh heh" for them all the time. I can't get it out of my head. Uhhh, oh no, I can hear it again right now! Uhhh! (swallows more pills)
- Hero Antagonist: T-This is more like it! Uhhh yeah! I am NOT a villain! I-I'M the guy you should be rooting for in a series where those two idiots nearly d-doomed an entire nation just because they're j-just that damn stupid!
- Hope Spot: Uhhh, the day I heard the news that Beavis and Butt-Head were dead was the happiest day in my life. I thought my personal Hell was finally over and that those two little bastards finally got what was coming to them! B-but then, they just showed up out of nowhere like nothing had ever happened! It-it was so terrible that I-I had a heart attack! Uhhh, yeah! And so it still goes on today...those two bastards continue to make my life a living hell. Uhhh! (drinks a bottle of Scotch)
- Hypocritical Humor: S-so what if I curse during school hours? I'm the principal and it's my God-given right to say whatever the hell I want and keep you from saying whatever the hell you want! So watch your language around me, you little bastard! B-besides, if you had to put up with B-Beavis and Butt-Head like I do, you'd curse too. Uhhh, yeah.
- Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain: H-How many times I have to s-say it?! I am NOT a villain! But YES! I AM sympathetic! Uhhh yeah! T-Thank you!
- Jerkass: S-So what?! T-Those two bastards are bigger jerks than I am! T-they're not just stupid, they're o-obnoxious!
- Jerkass Has a Point: F-Fine! I c-can be an unpleasant guy at times, but you must agree with me t-that it's because of Beavis and Butt-Head for the sheer amount of times t-that those two IDIOTS has caused me grief! Uhhh yeah! A-At least you're saying that I'm right!
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: L-Look! I-I CAN be a nice guy to h-hang with! And a d-decent principal! A-As long you aren't Beavis and Butt-Head or a-as awful as they are, t-then you're fine!
- Mistaken for Pedophile: Damn it! You've been listening to those little bastards, haven't you!? Uhhh, I was referring to that damn "No Child Left Behind" act! Uhhh, I want nothing to do with a real child's left behind! B-Beavis and Butt-Head are only spreading l-lies and mis-mishearing things like they always do! Uhhh, yeah!
- Only Sane Man: Y-YES! Why does it seem like I-I'm the only one that knows that B-Beavis and Butt-Head are a danger to s-society and n-need to be killed! Uhhh, yeah!
- Nervous Wreck: Uhhh, h-have you've been seeing me s-stutter?! T-Those two bastards seem to always c-come out of nowhere to cause me grief! Uhhh yeah! I-I can't help but always be in a n-nervous state! Y-You'll be too if you lived in e-even the same STATE as those two morons! Uhhh yeah!
- Not So Above It All: Uhhh yeah! If I have a chance t-to humiliate those two idiots, I-I'll take it! L-Like in the episode where me and Buzzcut w-was able to trick those two into going o-outside in their underwear and b-became the laughing stock of the student body! Y-Yes! I FINALLY got one over those t-two bastards! I-It may be a childish prank, but I DESERVED a win for o-once in my life! Uhhh yeah!
- Pet the Dog: I-I was shocked when Beavis actually apologized to me when he was b-being disruptive! T-That was the first time (sadly the ONLY time) that one of those bastards was being decent for once and I-I even let Beavis off without punishment. T-Too bad that was only for that ONE episode. Uhhh, no... B-But why do I still feel like at least HE might do it again? E-even then, would it be sincere? I m-mean, does that dolt even know what 'sorry' means?
- Well... I guess as even Buzzcut would tell you, don't you DARE hurt even those two morons if you're not part of our staff! It's OUR school, so that's OUR job!
- Uhhh, I guess I did once try to help them remember how to u-urinate after they 'forgot' how to. I have NO idea HOW they could have done that, b-but I guess they're just that STUPID!
- Sanity Slippage: Uhhh, those little bastards drive me crazy! Uhhh, it got so bad that I had to institutionalize myself once. A-and it still didn't help! S-sometimes, I think it's only a matter of time be-before I...before I snap again! O-or have another heart attack!
- Scare 'Em Straight: Uhhh, I revived the Scared Straight program to show our worst students the hell they're in for if they d-don't get back in line. And you can bet I sent Beavis and Butt-Head on that prison tour as well. But those little bastards still didn't get the message! They ended up liking it! Uhhh, if only they would get arrested for real! Uhhh yeah! T-that would be the day! B-better yet, executed! Uh huh huh huh huh!
- Twitchy Eye: Uhhh, wh-wh-what did you expect? B-B-Beavis and B-Butt-Head have been making my life a living hell for years. O-Of course my eye's going to be twitchy when I deal with those two little bastards!
- Verbal Tic: Uhhh, I-I don't know what you're talking about! T-this is all part of my n-nervous stuttering! Uhhh, yeah!
- Villainous Breakdown: D-Don't remind me when those two imbeciles caused me to have a genuine nervous breakdown t-that landed me in an insane asylum! Or when t-they caused me to have that heart attack! And you still h-have the nerve to call me "v-villainous"?! Uhhh, yeah!
- Villainous Friendship: What is with all t-these things calling me a villain? I-Is there just no better way to put it? Uhhh, well, I guess Buzzcut is a little more tough and violent, but he's the only other person who can't stand those boys as much as me, and he'd be glad to help me out with them, like with that prank. Besides, SOMEONE needs to keep all those students in check, t-those two can't be the ONLY little bastards out there!
- Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?: I-I WOULD shoot those two bastards a long time ago if it wasn't for the law!!! Y-You don't mean literally shoot them but expel them from school if they cause me too much grief. Uhhh, I TRIED, dumbass! Uhhh, yeah! But they just keep coming back! T-They're a couple of parasites! T-They don't even LIKE school, so I-I don't know why they even bother coming back i-in the first place! Uhhh, yeah!
- Would Hurt a Child: L-like I said above, i-if it wasn't for the damn law, I would have KILLED Beavis and Butt-head a l-long time ago! Uhhh, yeah! But of course, that a-and school standards have other plans, so the best I can d-do is strangle those two idiots! Uhhh, yeah! S-sometimes, we don't even let other people hurt them at school because WE'RE supposed to do that here! Just ask Buzzcut!
Beavis and Butt-Head show up, snickering
Hey, McDicker. Heh heh heh!
Uhhhh, oh NO! It's THOSE b-bastards! I-I'm not even safe on my own page! Beavis and Butt-Head, get the hell off my page now before I kill you!
Uh, can you, like, shut the hell up? Uh huh huh huh huh.
Yeah, shut the hell up, McDicker! Heh heh. We're not in school, so you can't, like, tell us what to do. Heh heh.
So what? T-this is my page! Uhhh, y-you two morons have your own, s-so get lost!
Hey, Beavis. Check this out. Uh huh huh huh. I'm gonna, like, "mantle-lize" McDicker's page. Huh huh huh huh.
Heh heh. Me too. Heh heh!
This is gonna be cool! Huh huh huh huh.
Butt-Head changes certain parts of the page, such as replacing a third of the tropes listed on here with "MUKDIKRS A DOORCK", all the while laughing.
Yeah, yeah! Heh heh! Try setting it on FIRE!
Beavis joins in with the "mantle-ism" (vandalism), randomly pressing keys to type up a huge capitalized, garbled, incoherent mess, angering McVicker further.
Uhhh, stop! W-what the hell do you two think you're doing?! I'm gonna kill you two b-bastards!
YOU WON'T HAVE TO, SIR! I HAVE MY OWN PAGE NOW!
O-Oh, thank god! I'm so glad you made it here, too!
NOW HOW 'BOUT I GET THESE BOYS' ASSES BACK TO THEIRS?!
AHH! Heh. DAMMIT, NO!
UHHHH, huh huh. This sucks.
Cue Beavis and Butt-Head ending riff, with the sounds of them getting beaten up while McVicker and Buzzcut laugh
