Orkinet
is a Warhammer 40,000 play-by-post roleplaying site that was started by Cerberus Daily News members who all happened to like the setting.
Basically, an Ork Mekboy managed to make a communication network that is able to span the galaxy, and even allow people travelling in the warp communicate. It can be tapped into through any technology that is able to communicate with other pieces of technology. However, the “Orkinet,” as it has been dubbed, doesn’t let everyone access it, and those who can are seemingly random. So everyone from any and every faction in 40k, with the notable exception of Space Marines, can tap into this network.
What’s the worst that could happen?
The forum has since been abandoned, and is effectively defunct.
Orkinet contains examples of:
- Anti-Magic: Narl is a Blank, and it’s hinted that Arika might be one as well.
- Badass Longcoat: Favorite amongst the Commissars and other elites of the Imperium
- Badass Normal: Anyone who doesn’t have the luxury of gene-mods, or cybernetics, or even the advantage of being ork or daemon.
- Battle Couple: Karina and Inessa, Masked and Dalien, Gaia and Drake/Kristof
- In a non-sexual way, Petticoat enjoys fighting alongside Inessa.
- Berserk Button: It’s 40k. Everyone has one.
- Special mention goes to Drake, who has a lot of them. Traitors being his biggest one.
- Beware the Nice Ones: Gaia makes an effort to be friendly towards anyone that isn’t a heretic, but after three years in the Imperial Guard, she’s deadly in her own way.
- Nora Valentar is quite similar.
- Blessed with Suck: Starr is a nascent psyker. Occasionally this can be useful. More often it’s a one way ticket to hell.
- Blood Knight: Any Ork, Narl, any Khornate, but especially the Masked One.
- Blue-and-Orange Morality: In universe example: Tau morals are just weird to people not in the Tau Empire. Ironically, the Tau's ideals would be more universally accepted than the homicidal zealotry most of Imperium embraces.
- Butt-Monkey: THE FABULOUS MARINES! sole existence is to be a lame Slaaneshite marine parody and to be beaten up by other characters. Repeatedly. And occasionally in toilet stalls.
- Cannon Fodder: While all of the members of the IG that can access the network are still alive and kicking, their NPC comrades aren’t so lucky. Not to mention all the other posters keep calling them Cannon Fodder as an insult.
- Camp Omnisexual: THE FABULOUS MARINES!
- Casual Kink: How the details of Karina and Inessa’s personal lives tend to be brought up, hilarity predictably ensues.
- Chainsaw Good: Drake has a chainsword. As does Kristof, and they've both used them as they're meant to. Bonus points to Kristof for jamming his into a nascent daemonic force. Extra points to Drake for using his to cut down a tree.
- Child Soldiers: Inessa was this growing up.
- Narl was also this, though it was more of Child Assassin.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Narl, Petticoat, Arlan and Zelle
- Combat Pragmatist: Petticoat, Starr, Stavin and Arika all play dirty.
- Comedic Sociopathy: Petticoat (and the other Orks, being Orks), Narl, Masked sometimes.
- Consummate Professional: Inessa
- Conveniently an Orphan: So many of the characters are orphans, it’s notable when one of them has one or both parents still.
- Corporal Punishment: An NPC Corporal in the 334th was subjected to this.
- Cultured Warrior: Gaia is much more philosophical than the average soldier of her rank, and seems to know a good deal about music.
- Kristof, due to his thoughtful nature, and freedom as a member of the Inquisition, is rather well read, and occasionally shows it.
- Masked One has also been known to indulge in literature about war, tactics, politics, and ancient culture, as well as indulging in a light bit of painting in his free time.
- Cursed with Awesome: Narl is a Blank, which means he’s naturally resilient to Chaos and the Warp. The only downside is that people just find something odd about him.
- Dark Action Girl: Saiyr
- Deadpan Snarker: It would be easier to list the characters who aren’t deadpan snarkers
- Depraved Bisexual: Narl, any Slaaneshite. Narl gets special mention for showing interest in boning Eldar, Tau, and apparently one Ogryn.
- Duels Decide Everything: Drake ended up in a duel of fists with a Lieutenant after an argument.
- Dumb Muscle: Subverted with Narl
- Ensign Newbie: Junior Commissar Drake.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Masked and Dalien. They’re both power hungry, they both worship Chaos, but they still manage to make their marriage work despite worshipping opposing gods (Khorne and Slaanesh, respectively)
- Evil Overlord: Masked One, though the “evil” part is a bit ambiguous - he loves war, slaughter, and subjugating the worlds he comes across. Planets under his rule also have, by and large, a better standard of living then the Imperium of Man, he’s very much honor-bound, treats his subjects and soldiers like they were his own family, and he always gives his opponents a chance to succeed.
- Fantastic Racism: Zenith takes this a high level, outright insulting aliens, heretics, and the like with outright malice.
- A Father to His Men: Inessa is like a very stern mother for the crew of the ship she serves on.
- Despite being an NPC, Zarkov appears to be regarded as one by the members of the 334th.
- Foil: Lauric and Zelle. Gaia and Stavin, Gaia and Arika. Inessa and Petticoat.
- For the Evulz: A good majority of the Chaos players, since this is... well, Chaos.
- Freudian Excuse: Inessa’s frothing hatred of the Tau is because she was raised on a world that was at war with them.
- Drake hates traitors even more than his imperial compatriots, his parents were killed by them when he was young.
- Friendly Sniper: Gaia
- Galactic Conqueror: Masked has aspirations to be one. If not, he can settle for having his own little empire.
- General Failure: One really has to wonder how Tactical_Genius even received his rank. Then one remembers its the Imperium of Man. YMMV - as it’s the Imperium of Man, he could well be one of their finest by its standards.
- Genki Girl: Zelle; oddly enough Karina has elements of this while posting, coming across more as a bubbly teenager than a hardened mercenary, /especially/ around Inessa.
- Gentle Giant: Narl puts aside his violence, boasting, sexual innuendo, and just about every other negative part of his personality aside whenever he’s with Red or their son.
- Godzilla Threshold: Whenever the Masked One shows up, things are going to get wrecked - Hives, armies, his own palace. Also the reason for Orcus on His Throne: no one wants to see their character killed without permission, so the Masked One’s conquests are always out of player inhabited space.
- Good Scars, Evil Scars: Inessa has a large scar on the left side of her face.
- The Gunslinger: Inessa
- Happily Married: Narl and Red.
- Of all people, Masked, one of the most powerful people on the boards, has been married for thirteen years. He loves his wife and wouldn’t imagine anyone else by his side.
- The Hedonist: Any follower of Slannesh
- Hold the Line: Gaia’s introduction involved this.
- Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: Narl and Red. Narl is almost the height of a Space Marine, and Red comes up to his stomach.
- I Can Still Fight!: A mild example with Gaia, who neglected to mention an infection so she wouldn’t be pulled from duty.
- Insane Troll Logic: The forte of Tzeentchians - an example would one of Masked’s sorcerers (kept around only to make sure any daemons summoned didn’t go out of control) wanted to kill the Masked One. When asked why, the answer was essentially For The Evulz and to summon a Greater Daemon.
- The Insomniac: Gaia
- If It's You, It's Okay: Inessa claims this is the case in regards to her relationship with Karina
- Ladykiller in Love: Implied to be the case with Narl and Red (though Narl is more of a “Personkiller”)
- Large Ham: The Ork characters. Drake, being a Commissar, has his moments. General Carnswell too.
- Love Triangle: Gaia is attracted to Drake, who is oblivious to her feelings at the time being, and Kristof is attracted to Gaia, who hasn’t picked up on that.
- Mad Scientist: Lauric, par the course for a Heretek
- Zelle isn’t a Heretek, but a lot of her experiments seem to end in explosions.
- Mama Bear: Inessa is like this towards her crew. Her signature? “Mess with the ship, get shot. Mess with the crew, get shot more. Understand me?”
- Mêlée à Trois: On a grand scale between the Imperial Guard, the PDF and Orks, then again such things are mundane in the forty-first millennium.
- More Dakka: It’s a site set in the universe that named the trope, what do you think?
- Mundane Utility: Nora mentions that an inferno pistol - a very rare weapon of the Adepta Sororitas - was once used to flash-cook a fish.
- My Country, Right or Wrong: Gaia towards the Imperium.
- As is Sergeant Zenith, he serves the Imperium out of honor and a sense of duty.
- No Accounting for Taste: Red is married to Narl despite him being... Narl.
- No Indoor Voice: Sister Wicks seems unable to not shout at the top of her lungs during a fight.
- Number Two: Inessa’s role on the Serenitas. Petticoat is also the Number Two to Inessa.
- Obfuscating Stupidity: Narl. His “online” persona is a sex-hungry, boastful jackass. He also works for the Inquisition, and has been for the past two years without being corrupted. He also acts like a simple brute to get people to underestimate him. This works very well.
- Oblivious to Love: Drake when it comes to Gaia’s feelings. Gaia when it comes to Kristof’s.
- Inessa mentioned she used to be this way when it came to Karina’s feelings.
- Obsessively Organized: Inessa needs to keep records of everything, and she functions on a schedule. She’s fine, if a bit tense, if her schedule is disrupted, but not keeping her records up to date brings the risk of a mental breakdown.
- Odd Couple: Inessa and Petticoat
- Odd Friendship: Inessa and Petticoat, despite being an intense and serious human woman, and an Ork respectively, are best friends.
- Gaia seems to be developing these with Arika and Stavin
- Starr and Saiyr. One is a freelance assassin, the other is a renegade Dark Eldar. They met by trying to kill each other. Now they’re best friends.
- Narl and any man or woman. He’s a giant of a man, and he loves making innuendo to anyone.
- One of the Kids: Narl loves to play with his child, showing genuine joy about the toys he gets the little guy.
- Masked One indulges in cartoons.
- Most people assume Zelle is a kid, she’s actually 26.
- Karina has moments like this
- Only in It for the Money: Rena agreed to help Arlan so long as she was paid for her services.
- Pintsized Powerhouse / Little Miss Badass: Starr. She’s five foot one, weighs about a hundred pounds and on average looks like some shy girl who got dragged to a club by her friends. She can also fight a Dark Eldar warrior on equal terms and kill minor daemons.
- Rank Up: Gaia has gone from Trooper to Corporal since she found Orkinet.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Red and Phrix exchanged epic ones in one flame war. Gaia has been known to direct them at heretics.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: Inessa is the blue to Karina and Petticoat’s Red
- Rescue Romance: A variation. Gaia and Drake keep on saving each other’s lives.
- The Revolution Will Not Be Civilized: Several of the Chaos characters see their cause as a revolution for freedom against the oppressiveness of the Imperium. Of course, being Chaos, they are far from being the better alternative.
- Runaway Fiancé: Gaia joined the Imperial Guard to get out of an arranged marriage.
- Sergeant Rock: Padrick Zenith; he’s a big brother to his squadmates, but he’s not completely coddling either.
- Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Lauric tends to use very verbose wordplay just to insult Imperials.
- Single-Target Sexuality: Red claims this is the case with her, the target being Narl.
- Smarter Than You Look: Narl is a huge Feral Worlder that acts like a moron, but he’s arguably more intelligent than a lot of other members.
- Smug Snake: Lauric isn’t as clever as he thinks he is.
- Space Pirate: The crew of the Serenitas, being Rogue Traders, but especially Petticoat the Ork.
- Straight Gay: Sister Nora Valentar, who is openly dating a fellow Sister of Battle.
- The Squadette: Gaia and Arika
- The Starscream: Any and all Tzeentchians.
- Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: Not everyone that’s on the same side likes each other. Then again, this is 40K and therefore hardly unexpected.
- Too Much Information: Narl loves to give people this for the sake of trolling them.
- Karina has been known to do this while drunk.
- Troll: Half the conversations between the characters of different factions are them trolling each other. Narl and Saiyr get special mentions for trolling everyone no matter who or what they are.
- Unfriendly Fire: Members of the PDF of the planet the 334th was fighting on started to fire on the Imperial Guard soldiers during one battle.
- Unresolved Sexual Tension: Arguably, Dariel and Narl, though it’s mostly one sided; Dariel was trained as a Callidus and has gender and identity issues, and Narl is... Narl. Dariel feels something, but he’s not sure what.
- Uptight Loves Wild: Inessa and Karina
- Victory Is Boring: Masked desperately wants an army that can give him and his soldiers a worthy conflict, since he’s been steamrolling over several dozen sectors in short succession. It has to do with the fact he’s a Khornate who focuses on the martial honor aspects of the god.
- What Does She See in Him?: People often ask this in regards to Narl and Red.
- Wretched Hive: Pretty much any Hive world but special mention goes to Volg Hive. A combination penal colony and giant waste purification plant. Thiceos is shaping up to be this.
