Recap pages are Spoilers Off per policy and all spoilers are unmarked. You Have Been Warned
Note: The events of the episode are grouped by timeline, not by the order of scenes.
1996
Right where the previous episode ended, Shauna goes into labor. The Coach, who ironically was in charge of playing videos of the miracle of life in health class, mentally checks out and provides no help. Misty has her own moment of breaking down, obsessing about her "bestie"'s death, but pulls herself back together to help Shauna. As labor progresses, Javi brings in an animal skull (the bear? The deer?) and the others make offerings (blood, hair, a button) to the "Wilderness". Shauna finally delivers her baby. She struggles to feed him but finally succeeds. She wakes up in the middle of the night to find her baby missing—and all her fellow survivors feasting on him. But it's all just a dream—she lost consciousness after losing blood and the baby was stillborn. Shauna wails, holding her child, and asking if nobody else can hear him cry like she does.Present
Shauna and Callie are questioned by "Jay" and Kevyn. The former admits to having an affair with Adam Martin and being a less than stellar mother and wife. The latter lies about having been seduced by "Jay". Kevyn sees right through her lie but gets the optics (undercover cop in unauthorized operation dates teenaged girl) are very bad. Jeff gets a call from Taissa (who was contacted by Misty) about Lottie being coherent and running a wellness center. After his wife and daughter return, he tells Shauna she should go to Lottie's place for a while. Natalie struggles with guilt and self-hatred, but finally makes herself at home and dons the heliotrope-dyed outfit. Van drives Taissa to the cult compound with no plans to stay herself but is stunned at seeing Lottie. An aerial shot of the compound shows it forming the symbol as the survivors reunite.Past
Flashback to some time before the plane crash. Coach Scott is teaching a high school health education class by playing an educational film about fetal development. Meanwhile the students practice putting condoms on bananas. The narrator describes the formation of sex organs and Randy acts his mental age, mocking what he thinks it's the fetus's Teeny Weenie until Taissa points out those are testicles. Jeff ignores him and actually takes notes. Misty shushes Randy's foolery. The narration moves on to the signs of active labor, "...rupture of the amniotic sac and the onset of powerful uterine contractions" that will push out the fetus and grow stronger. Jeff passes a note to Shauna:Immediate cut to...the cabin, where Shauna is doubled over and screaming. The others walk her over the bed and get her ready to go through labor. Shauna begs for "please, someone just get it out of me." Misty peeks between Shauna's legs and stares as Shauna screams. Opening sequence.
Present
The compound. Misty is reluctantly surrendering her personal belongings (including a syringe and brass knuckles) to Rob, a smiling acolyte. Her phone pings. It's Walter. Rob stops her before she can take the call and takes her phone. She protests, saying it could be important.Misty: What about emergencies, like, um, a heart attack or-or...a fire?
Rob: Uh, there's a landline in the kitchen, but it's not for social calls. Trust me. I've been where you are. It's not easy at first. But our phones keep us captive to other people's priorities.
Rob is about to introduce Misty to Lottie, but Lottie recognizes her, looking disturbed. Lottie asks him to leave them alone. Misty voices her disappointment at Lottie's lack of excitement to see her. She explains that she's there to "retrieve my friend Natalie from a kidnapping that's looking more and more like a good old-fashioned brainwashing." Lottie explains that they are "a community of love and spiritual growth. And I help people heal from past trauma, so they'll stop running from themselves." Misty doesn't care. She demands Natalie or else she will report Lottie "about what I assume is your routine tax evasion."
Misty: I don't believe that. You two aren't even friends.
Lottie appears to get a headache, and asks Misty if she can stay a while. Misty demurs, but Lottie persists, "No, it could be helpful for Natalie. And for you, too."
The Sadecki household: Callie and Jeff are in the kitchen. After talking on the phone, Shauna tells them that Kevyn Tan wants them to go down to the police station for questioning that same day; meaning just Callie and herself. Jeff is furious and accuses Shauna of having "dragged Callie into this thing and now she's a part of our mess." Shauna blames Callie for "act[ing] out by dating a cop." In her own defense, Callie clarifies that she and "Jay" were just "hanging out." To her shock and Jeff's, Shauna says that frankly, it would've been better if the two'd had sex. "If [Callie] had, then none of the stuff she told him about me would be admissible. That's all I'm saying. Should we just go and get this over with?"
The compound. Lisa is looking for Natalie, when she hears gunshots and fears the worst. But Natalie is merely doing target practice with some cans.
Natalie warns Lisa to get the hell away and stay away, claiming she is "[...] poison. I ruin people. I killed my best friend. The only person... I loved. The only person who knew me." Meaning Travis.
Lisa: No. No, no. It's never anyone else's fault, Natalie. You know that. There was nothing that you could've said to Travis. It was something that was already in him.
Natalie: .. Well, that "something" that was in him, is in me. We saw so much... we did so much fucked-up shit out there. And, yeah, maybe it was to survive. Maybe. But I don't think we deserved to.
Van's place: Taissa pops up, asking why didn't Van wake her. The tension in the air is thick. She asks if something happened, guessing that Other!Taissa made an appearance:
Van: You said, "This isn't where we're supposed to be."
Taissa is shocked to learn that on top of that, she (or rather Other!Taissa) tried to kiss Van. First she tries to apologize, but then goes back: "Wait. I said "we"? Who's "we"?"
Lottie is at her doctor's office again and reports that her symptoms are still happening; on top of her visions, she has a weird feeling that points her to the past. The doctor tries to reassure Lottie that "it's not uncommon for people whose psychoses are controlled to feel anxiety about their symptoms returning," and asks if her fear of the past is really a fear of her illness.
The compound. Misty and others take part in a drumming circle. A wailing participant in the center is being comforted. Rob invites Misty to take a turn, but she declines politely while the woman wails.
The Wiskayok Police Department. Shauna tells Callie that she's got this, and that she has not committed any crimes. Callie points out that one, lying to the cops IS a crime, and two, "Aren't you probably the last person who should be giving me legal advice right now?"
When "Jay" greets the pair, Shauna warns him against any plans to interview Callie alone. But Officer Matt Saracusa wants to talk to Shauna. Kevyn has Callie come with him.
Van's "While You Were Streaming": Taissa is putting away tapes and makes a joke about missing Van's lectures. Van says they are only for paying customers. Taissa asks her how how's business going. Van deadpans, "Look at this place. I can hardly keep up."
Van: I have savings.
Taissa: But then? What's your plan? I mean, long-run.
Taissa reveals she saw "the bills in your trash. You'll lose this place if you don't do something." Van is all, mind your own beeswax, but Taissa offers her real estate lawyer expertise to figure out a plan. Van declines; the one who needs help with her life is Taissa, not her.
Then Van asks if Taissa has any bright ideas about where she's supposed to be. Just then, Taissa takes a phone call, thinking it is from the hospital (by the way, Sammy is likely staying with Simone's mother, but who is caring for Steve the dog?). It's Misty, who is sneaking to make her call from the compound's land line. Taissa is not interested in talking to Misty but that does not stop Misty:
Taissa: Where you're getting help?
Misty: Where everyone is getting help from one Charlotte Matthews.
Taissa has trouble believing Lottie is now functional. Misty confirms that Lottie is better, and Natalie's also there. She encourages Taissa to come and see the compound for herself. Apparently, Taissa is on board, because later Van is driving her to the cult compound. Taissa thanks Van giving her a ride, since it's a long way.
Taissa changes the subject and asks Van about her life: "Are you even trying to be happy? Are you dating?" Van tells Taissa she gets her "needs met."
Van: Maybe I have. But don't flatter yourself. It's not because of you. Trust me. It's better this way.
The compound: Lisa goes to Natalie's cabin, carrying Gilly the 14th. She wants Natalie to take the fish. Natalie tries to refuse, claiming she should not be responsible for him, but Lisa insists: "At least for today. You should be responsible for something other than yourself. Something innocent."
Lisa: So what? Who doesn't?
Natalie asks Lisa why she forgave Nat for stabbing her in the face: "Is it because it's what you thought Lottie wanted? You thought you deserved it, then?" The answer is none of that:
The PD parking lot. While waiting for his wife and daughter, Jeff distracts himself with N.W.A's "Fuck Tha Police". Shauna's phone rings and he answers it. It's Taissa. Jeff lies that Taissa is in the bathroom and offers to take a message:
Van: Hi, Jeff!
Jeff promises to make sure Shauna gets the message.
The compound's common dining area. Natalie walks in to find Misty regaling a crowd with tales about Natalie. "She was just the most incredible athlete and dresser. No, she always was just such a talent..." but she stops when she sees Natalie. Natalie is nowhere near as excited to see Misty and asks her why she came back.
Natalie asks about Walter. Misty tells her that he went home and asks what is on her mind:
Wiskayok P.D. The scene switches back and forth between Matt and Shauna in one interrogation room, and Kevyn and Callie in another, where Kevyn does Good Cop in order to get Callie to turn against her mother:
Shauna: I guess not, if she was dating you to get under my skin.
Shauna and Matt: She wants to know "if I'm being accused of a crime."
Shauna: Have you met my daughter? I didn't ask her to do anything. She does whatever the fuck she wants.
Matt: What she wants is to talk about you. In a bar. To a total stranger. You really did a number on her.
Back to Kevyn and Callie. He tells Callie that her mother is using her and that she's her own person: "And you do not have to be like your mom."
As for Matt, he makes clear his low opinion of Shauna as a mom:
Matt: So we are talking about an affair.
Shauna: (groans) Yes, of course we're talking about a goddamn affair. It's just... Yeah, it's just basically what you said. I'm... a bored housewife. I got into a fender-bender and... I had an affair with him that made me feel young again for five fucking minutes, and now not only is the hot part over, but I'm left sitting here having to defend myself to some smug little douche who my daughter hit on because she was mad at me for cheating on her poor, innocent dad, so if that's what you're playing "gotcha" over, arrest me already. But leave my kid out of it.
Matt: Well done.
In the other room, Callie starts sniffling and Kevyn offers her a tissue. She cries, says she feels stupid:
When done, Shauna arrives to the van where Jeff slurps his drink and waits. He does a Spit Take after she blurts out that she told them about sleeping with Adam:
Just then, the glove compartment opens, revealing the gun. On top of Shauna's words, Jeff can't believe she drives around with the gun in the car.Shauna: Yeah, you think?! (sniffles)
Jeff tells Shauna about Taissa calling "because, evidently, your, uh, your old pal, Lottie, she's running some kind of wellness center upstate." This is a surprise to Shauna who believed Lottie to be "barely coherent." He also adds that Taissa is on her way and Misty and Natalie are already there. He thinks Shauna should go there too. She demures but he lays out the brutal truth:
Just then, Callie arrived, announcing she used Shauna's idea, "and I'm pretty sure they're scared shitless now, so..." The tension in the air alarms her: "Fuck, are we going to jail?"
Jeff: No. But if your mom has any sense left at all, she's gonna take a little trip.
The compound, Natalie's cabin. She takes Gilly out of his tank, claiming he will thank her later. "It's all a goddamn prison anyway", but the sight of the fish gasping for air changes her mind. She puts him back in the tank.
Van and Taissa are parked at the compound gates. Van points out it is their last chance to turn around and proposes a trip to IHOP. But Taissa's mind is set: "I have to go in. I can't keep doing what I'm doing." Van offers to be on call for an extraction if Taissa sees "any barrels of Kool-Aid powder in there". They see Shauna driving by.
Inside the compound. Natalie walks out, wearing heliotrope hippie-ish attire. Misty is weaving baskets with others. There's a flurry of activity and somebody announces visitors. Misty gasps at the sight of Shauna. Natalie and Shauna embrace.
Past
Labor and screaming continues. Shauna wonders why is it taking so long. Mari suggests they boil water. Akilah agrees, as they need to keep things clean. Natalie asks if they should be timing the contractions. Gen brings up that the last one was just over a minute, not knowing if that is long or short. Gen finally yells at Misty to ask her if she should "be timing the in-between or no?" But Misty is very distracted. "Uh, I-I don't know, I just, I-I need to..." Akilah, the closest thing to a midwife thanks to her sister, thinks that "when they're this regular and intense, she's in labor labor and the baby is actually coming."While that could mean things should be over soon, Shauna freaks out because she doesn't think she can labor for a day and a half like Akilah's sister.
Akilah: Of course you can do it. And we're right here to help. Right, Misty? What do you need from me?
Lottie walks over and takes Shauna's hand. "Maybe, uh, we can... we can share our hopes with each other?"
Taissa: Why the fuck... Why would you say die?
Misty psyches herself up, "Okay, Misty, you got this. You can do this," and turns her attention to Shauna: "Hey, and you can do this, too, Shauna, okay? Just keep breathing." She pulls her hands out of the birth canal. Shauna asks what is happening, claiming "Something feels weird." Staring at her blood-covered hands, Misty flashes back to finding Crystal's body in the snow. Taissa steps in as labor coach and tells Shauna to look at her: "It's gonna be okay, okay? They're gonna figure this out. [...] Just a little bit more pain."
Akilah tells Misty to snap out of her Heroic BSoD and Taissa tries to get her attention. Taissa goes back to encouraging Shauna to keep breathing. Finally, Misty gives up, muttering "I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this" and many apologies, and goes away to the window, despite the others calling out for her. Natalie goes to the Coach to ask for his help, but he claims not to know anything despite teaching health class. The sight of bloody rags nearly makes him faint. He apologizes to Shauna, to Natalie's despair.
Natalie: Ignore him, Shauna. Women have been having babies for millions of years. You're gonna be fine. Akilah's got this.
While labor happens, a silent Javi brings over an animal skull (bear? deer?) Lottie orders Travis to "spill blood". He cuts his palm and drips blood on the skull. She has the others "Gather some things you can find. Anything." This includes things like hair and a button. Travis pleads to whatever forces to "Please listen." Taissa tells Shauna to look at her and keep breathing.
As Shauna screams through labor, the Coach covers his ears and flashes back to an earlier time with Paul and a couple of other friends. The four are playing charades. Like in the cabin, Ben is covering his ears and Paul finally guesses it's Hear No Evil. Next, Ben mimes showering and Paul somehow guesses the soap One Life to Live. As one of the friends says, there is nothing worse than charades with people in love. The game continues, but Ben finds himself back in reality in the cabin and Shauna still in labor.
Taissa: Is that... is that the head? It's so purple.
Off in a corner, Misty is crying and berating herself: "You are such a freak. There's... It's all your fault. There's just something wrong with you. You always do this." Lottie comes in to get Misty because they need her. But Misty is a mess, blubbering that she "was supposed to do this with Crystal. We had a plan." They were going to do a song. Lottie points out that "Crystal may be gone, but you're here, with us. And you can still save Shauna. You can save our baby." Misty snaps out of her spiral and goes back to where things are happening. Akilah tells Misty that "the placenta is out, but the baby's still not coming, and she's bleeding a lot." Misty confirms her headspace is good. Shauna begs her not to let the baby die. Misty orders Shauna to push, "I know it hurts, and I know this is hard, but you just need to focus and you need to push. You are so close to being on the other side. And then, you get to meet your baby."
Lottie leads the others in an invocation: "We hear the Wilderness and It hears us."
Taissa and Natalie join the chanting: "We hear the Wilderness and It hears us." Taissa tells Shauna to breathe and push. Shauna screams as the others keep chanting. Misty tells Shauna she is doing good and "Okay, I'm palming the head."
Misty: It's a boy. It's a boy, Shauna. Look at him.
Later, Shauna fails to get her baby to take her breast and begs him to try. "Maybe you're just not sucking hard enough." Natalie points out that Shauna has been starving. "Maybe your body just can't..." Shauna shuts her up, because she is determined to feed her son. She makes another attempt to get him to latch on, "I know you're hungry. I'm trying to feed you, but..." He just cries, to Shauna's frustration.
Shauna wakes up to the sound of Lottie singing "Frère Jacques" while holding the baby and nursing him. Shauna is horrified.
Shauna: What did you just say?
Lottie: I said he needs to feed.
Shauna still struggles with breastfeeding and pleads with her son:
Shauna wakes up to find her baby is not there. She calls out to the others. She finds a blood trail and follows it, crawling to where the others have eaten her baby. They all look guiltily at her, with blood dripping from their mouths.
Shauna wakes up, confused, and asks for her baby. A tearful Taissa explains that Shauna lost consciousness after bleeding a lot: "We thought we lost you." Shauna keeps asking over and over for her son. Everybody around her is in tears. Apologizing repeatedly, Misty hands him over to Shauna. Taissa finally gives the bad news:
Shauna goes through the first of the Five Stages of Grief: Denial. "No... No, no. No, he was... No, he... No, he was, he was alive. No, he was alive! I held him. I held him, Tai. He was alive! He was alive and I held him! I... I tried to feed him. And then I finally fed him and he was crying. He was cry... (stammers) I-I fed him. I fed him... I fed him.
Shauna: No, no... No! He was crying. (stammers) I can still hear him crying. He's still crying. I can still hear him crying. He's hungry. Don't you hear him crying? Don't you hear him crying? Can't you hear him crying? Why can't you hear him cry?
The others can't handle Shauna's grief and leave her sobbing in Taissa's arms and asking over and over: "Why can't you hear him? Why can't you hear him crying?"
Tropes present in this episode
- Adults Are Useless: The girls beg Coach Ben to step in and help out, but he protests that the only thing he knows about giving birth is how to push "Play" on the VCR in sex ed class.
- Adventures in Comaland: After losing consciousness due to blood loss, Shauna dreams she had her baby, managed to breast feed despite having been malnourished for months... only for her fellow survivors to eat her baby. She wakes up to find out her baby did not make it.
- All Just a Dream: Everything in the cabin from Shauna actually giving birth up until the point where she's jolted awake by a nightmare of the others eating her baby, only to find that she passed out giving birth to a stillborn child.
- Babies Make Everything Better: The reason Shauna had Callie: as she puts it, she was struggling with her marriage to Jeff due to guilt and shame, and hoped having a baby would make things easier.
- Death of a Child: First appears to be averted, but then turns out to be played straight when Shauna regains consciousness after delivery and learns the baby did not make it.
- Embarrassing Alibi: When questioned by the police about Adam Martin's disappearance (whom she killed), Bad Liar Shauna simply confesses that they are right, she's a bored housewife who had an affair with an exciting young artist like Adam to put some spice into her life. That's not a crime, is it?
- False Rape Accusation: When Kevyn questions Callie, he tries to get her to talk by saying her mother is just using her. Instead, Callie claims to have been seduced by "Jay". Despite her Crocodile Tears, Kevyn does not believe her.Kevyn: You know making false statements to the police is a chargeable offense?
Callie: Then fucking charge me. We'll see who a jury believes. Especially when they ask me to describe his weird-ass balls. - Foreshadowing: The health class film about pregnancy, right after the baby is born: "...However, labor continues until the placenta and amniotic materials are expelled..." Later, when Shauna is in labor, her placenta comes first (placental abruption
), warning both the audience and the team members that something is going wrong. - Gag Penis: Randy claims to posses one. As part of health education class, the students are practicing how to put a condom on a banana. Randy asks if anybody wants his condom, saying he is too big: "Magnums all day, baby." Van counters this by stretching her condom as far as it goes and telling him to go see the doctor "about that thing" if that is a problem indeed.
- Gratuitous French: During her post-partum dream, Shauna overhears Lottie singing "Frère Jacques" to the baby while nursing him.
- Heroic BSoD: Misty isn't the most heroic character, of course, but when it comes her time to step up and help Shauna with her delivery, she sees the blood on her hands and has a These Hands Have Killed moment which sends her into a fugue state. It takes a pep talk from Lottie to snap her out of it.
- Madness Mantra: "Why can't you hear him crying?"
- Parents as People: How Shauna explains her affair to the cops.Shauna: I never wanted to be a mom. In fact, I did not start out a bad person, but in case you haven't noticed, life doesn't tend to turn out the way you think it will. You have a kid that you don't want to save a marriage that you got into out of guilt and shame, and you just, you can't really let yourself love either of them. But of course, you do, you love them despite yourself. You're just incredibly bad at it.
- Screaming Birth: Shauna screams for somebody to get the baby out of her.
- Shout-Out:
- Taissa is helping Van by reshelving tapes. She asks Van if Miss Congeniality falls under "Good Sandy" or "Bad Sandy".
- The flashback with Ben and Paul playing charades: Before his correct guess of Hear No Evil, Paul tries with Scanners, The Shining, Falling Down and even The Silence of the Lambs. The next entry is One Life to Live. Following this, another charade is Airplane!, which causes him to snap out of the flashback.
- Taissa to Van: "Half your wardrobe is Sleater-Kinney tour T-shirts."
- Significant Wardrobe Shift: After almost killing Gilly the 14th (Lisa's fish), Natalie finally changes from her own clothes into the heliotrope-dyed hippie-ish outfit laid out for her.
- Soundtrack Dissonance:
- "Song 2" by Blur (a song notorious for the "Whoo-hoos!" in the chorus) plays when Shauna starts having serious contractions.
- Madonna's "Rescue Me" plays as the Coach tries to shut out Shauna's screams and flashes back to playing charades with Paul and friends. Ironically, he wins by miming the film Hear No Evil.
- Spit Take: Jeff, after Shauna admits to telling the police about her affair with Adam.Jeff: Shauna, you're out of control!
Shauna: Yeah, ya think?!? - Surprisingly Realistic Outcome: Shauna's a teenager who hasn't been to a doctor since she got pregnant, and has spent the last six months on, or beyond, the brink of starvation. She is attended by teenagers whose only expertise is a health class, a sibling's experience, and a first aid course. Of course her baby doesn't make it.
- Tragic Stillbirth: Oh, Shauna. Taissa has to deliver the bad news.
- Unwanted Assistance: The girls try to find some way to help Shauna. Lottie suggests they hold hands and "share their hopes" with each other. It turns out less than helpful when...Mari: WILDERNESS, I HOPE SHAUNA DOESN'T DIE!!!
Tai: Why the fuck would you say "die"?!?- ...after which Tai has to wrestle Lottie off Shauna when she suggests "letting your pain open you to this moment" and tells her to back off.
- "Well Done, Son" Guy: Callie continues to want her mom's approval for how good she is at tricking the cops.
- Wham Line: Shauna wakes up from her unconscious state and asks about her son:Taissa: He didn't make it, Shauna.
