Seven short stories.
Six sick Bearers.
And one dragon.
A themed short story collection in which every member of the Mane Cast winds up dealing with illness, with each tale in the group focusing on a different character. The reactions range from denial of sickness to the boredom of being bedridden, overreaction from the outside and total drama displayed by the ill to the point of making everypony else sick, because different ponies deal with being sick in their own ways. But given enough time, everypony will fall ill — and so these stories represent a look at how each of them deals with it.
The general answer is "Not very well."
Read it here
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Tropes found in these stories include:
- Sick Episode: the entire premise of the collection.
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Twilight: Magic Minus Magic
Ponyville has been going through a rash of thefts, all of which involve a variety of castings from what appears to be multiple unicorns. Twilight, recognizing that the tree is potentially vulnerable, has the Elements shifted back to Canterlot — but she's somewhat less willing to let her books go, and the library has more than a few texts which could be resold. As such, she's been spending days and nights researching security magic, trying to find the one working which can truly protect the shelves.
Too many days and nights, to the point where her body becomes weakened from overexertion — and she falls ill with Rhynorn's Flu, a unicorn disease which makes it effectively impossible for her to cast. With a potential threat on the horizon, Twilight's been stripped of her magic — and that's before the mayor steps in to strip her of the library itself...
- Almighty Mom: Invoked. Realizing that Twilight may just revert to her usual pattern (look for sane solutions, then look for improbable solutions, and finally jump the rails and go straight over the cliff) instead of just waiting out her Rhynorn's like a typical unicorn, Spike told Mayor Mare about the one letter she could have him send which was guaranteed to stop Twilight in her own hoofprints, and it starts with "Dear Mrs. Velvet." Twilight's Escort Service had already established their mother as a bit of a Control Freak, and Spike notes that, as a means of getting ponies in line, embarrassment can be more effective than fear — and with that parent, it's sort of a mix.
- Badass in Distress: Despite being sick with one of the most debilitating of unicorn ailments, Twilight manages to take down the two earth pony thieves who plan on stealing the library's collection of rare books — by using that illness against them. There's a huge difference between a total lack of magic and a total lack of control. A thick hardcover has the stopping power of a large brick: once Twilight's field starts to randomly grab and accelerate the contents of the shelves, the ground floor of the library basically turns into a deadly version of Dodgeball Is Hell — and at that, the thieves arguably got off easy, because their own bodies would have potentially counted as Things Which Can Be Enveloped And Accelerated.
- Bilingual Bonus: After listening to Twilight's full self-pity speech, Applejack reacts with an exclamation of "Perittómata távros!", resorting to Minotaurus in her search for an appropriate curse. It's Greek for "bull droppings."
- Brought Down to Normal: Or at least brought down to early childhood.
- Call-Back:
- The last time the Ridiculously More Than Complete Guide To Mazein was put into motion, it placed a permanent crack in the library's front door. This time, it breaks the older thief's kneecap. That's one dangerous book.
- One of the research materials Twilight calls for is an issue of the Thaumaturgy Review. She's also trying to work out one of Star Swirl's spells, the Ultimate Lockdown, which she had believed nopony knew how to cast — except that somepony put it on the tapestry that one time...
- Can't Kill You, Still Need You: Averted. The elder sister is entirely willing to kill Twilight, because she's under the mistaken impression that if a Bearer dies, the Elements will immediately choose a new one.
- Foreshadowing: Twilight really isn't happy about any situation which demands that she surrender any degree of control over the library.
- Improbable Antidote: It takes political and law enforcement intervention to keep Twilight from looking for one.
- Mundane Solution: Attempted. Twilight pays Ratchette for the rental of a spare field prosthetic, believing that she has enough insight into devices to make all the clamps work. However, this quickly leads into a case of Surprisingly Realistic Outcome, as the prosthetic isn't a device of any kind. It's pure clockwork and spring power without a thaum anywhere, which makes it a machine, one Ratchette's been practicing with for moons in order to reach any level of proficiency. Twilight makes the common pony mistake of deciding that magic is hard, machines are simple, and she'll be able to reach some level of mastery in half an hour — then finds out just how wrong she is.
- Mundane Utility: Twilight's been using her field for casual manipulation for so long that she genuinely doesn't know how to do some things without it (like putting on and properly balancing saddlebags), and has to keep fighting the reflexes which would have her igniting her corona to do pretty much everything.
- Mythology Gag: When talking about reasons for Twilight to shut her research down and give up control of the library to Spike, Mayor Mare mentions the events of Lesson Zero and Swarm Of The Century as examples.Mayor Mare: "And then there was that odd hopping citrus. I never did find out what that was about..."
- Noodle Incident: The field prosthetic testing, Switch #12....Twilight hastily pawed the prosthetic off her face, dashed across all five body lengths, snatched up Spike's notes between her teeth, and with no other convenient means of destruction available, chewed them to death."We are never bringing up Switch #12.""But —"" — in front of Ratchette. Or our friends. Or Mom. Especially Mom."Spike was barely comprehensible through his giggles. "But...""EVER."
- Person of Mass Destruction: Twilight, trying to make excuses for why she doesn't have to shut her magical research et. all down on the mayor's orders, tries to do some math on the fly as to how much a field would be subdivided in power, fails, and lies, telling the local audience that you'd never get more than three percent of the caster's total strength in any single effect. This... makes part of the crowd pull back a little, followed by the mayor stating that three percent of the unicorn who simultaneously levitated both Ursa Minor and water tower may be somewhere over one hundred percent of an average pony. Having that kind of strength working itself out at random isn't a comforting thought.
- Power Incontinence: Rhynorn's Flu (which had previously been referenced in other stories) turns out to be an infectious version, one which only affects unicorns. While it includes various other flu symptoms (fever, muscle aches), the central effect is field scattering. Whenever a unicorn with Rhynorn's attempts to use their field for standard telekinetic moment, their corona will refuse to focus. Sparks of magic will fly everywhere, subdividing the caster's strength between them, and those sparks will move anything they have the energy to shift. Twilight trying to turn her sink's tap resulted in everything in her bathroom getting flung around at random, and it's implied that trying to perform a formal working can be worse. (Field dexterity is not a limit on the number of things which can be moved, as none of them are under any kind of control.) The disease typically lasts four to seven days, with no cure or palliative known: the other symptoms can be treated, but the field scattering will continue for the full duration. Most unicorns just deal with the illness until it passes. Twilight isn't most unicorns.
- Pragmatic Villainy: The younger thief declares she'd have no interest in stealing the Elements because they can't sell them anyway and if a crisis came, they don't want to be the custodians of a solution which they can't use. (However, potentially killing a Bearer is less of an issue: like many ponies, the siblings are operating under the mistaken belief that the Element in question would immediately chose a new Bearer.)
- Pre-Asskicking One-Liner: One of the less probable specimens: "We're closed for reshelving." And then the sparks hit the books...
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: A minor version. Twilight spends forty minutes complaining to Applejack about all the things she can't do over the next four to seven days, and it finally triggers a verbal backlash when Applejack points out that two-thirds of Equestria can't do those things for their whole lives, directly accusing Twilight of holding a pity party for herself and refusing to attend. It's not meant unkindly, though: Applejack's main intent is to shock Twilight into thinking rationally about the situation and pointing out that as long as Twilight has her hooves, mouth, and brain, she's already got everything she needs. (A little Double Meaning venting does sneak in when AJ points out that Twilight can be all flashy and public with her magic, but Twilight misses it.)Two worries would not go away. "If we get a mission — or the thieves show up — what am I supposed to do?""What y'do when we really need you to. The thing you're best at. Y'don't need to work magic t' know it: Spike proved that with the geese. So... y'come with us. Y'watch out for us. An' when we need you most... y'think."
- Red Herring: Twilight believes the sheer number of working and differing field signatures involved in the thefts means Ponyville is dealing with a large gang of unicorns. It turns out to be two earth ponies utilizing multiple devices.
- The Sociopath: The older sister of the two thieves: once the fight starts, she has no issues with killing Twilight and is physically abusive of her younger sibling. Word Of Fanfic Author is that those two haven't made their last appearance.
- Squishy Wizard: Twilight possesses a lot more in raw magical power than she does in sheer physical endurance, and she makes herself vulnerable to disease through staying up too late over too many days, attempting to research a security spell which can protect the tree from Ponyville's current crime wave. By the same token, she has no hope of fighting off two large earth pony mares physically: only sliding down the slope of the ramp from her sleeping area lets her briefly knock one over, and any further attempt at direct combat would have been doomed to fail.
- Summon Bigger Fish: In the authority sense: Spike's plan to stop Twilight before the usual chaos begins starts with getting the mayor and police chief involved, with the possibility of invoking the Princess — and if that doesn't work, there's always Almighty Mom.
- Unintentionally Notorious Crime: Discussed in the comments. While the elder thief can be excused for thinking she could take Twilight with the latter unable to focus her field, and she is apparently under the impression that the Element of Magic can immediately choose a new Bearer if the old one dies, she has still somehow managed to forget that Twilight is both Celestia's personal student and the pony to whom the Princess owes her liberation from the Nightmare. Kill her, and you immediately make yourself the product of the most thorough and relentless ponyhunt in history. Expert diviners and magical forensics will be called in, the combined police force of the entire country set to hunt you down, and Discord only knows what in the way of secret knowledge or classified devices Celestia and Princess Luna might dig out of the Archives.
- When All You Have Is a Hammer…: Averted. Twilight briefly considers trying the crown as a possible solution — but with the crime wave in town, the Elements were temporarily moved back to Canterlot. Also, experimenting requires five other ponies and the permission of a Princess who might not take "I'm sick" as a reason for doing it.
- Working Through the Cold: Twilight would like to. The settled zone has other ideas.
Fluttershy: A Thousand Little Nurses
Fluttershy's been sick for a while. (It doesn't happen often, but that spectacular endurance occasionally fails.) Applejack and Snowflake have been filling in where they can, but they have to go home for the night — and there are some things they're still not up to doing. Such as dealing with a pregnant badger, one whose labor is well overdue. Fluttershy can't leave the cottage because Marian could start delivering at any moment — and she really wants to leave.
Because her animal friends love her. They want her to get better. And as soon as all the intruding ponies are off the property, they're going to take care of her in the best way they know how. The fact that none of their instinctive methods actually do anything to help a pony, especially when they're all used at once? Well, that would take sapience to recognize...
- Carnivore Confusion:
- Or in this case, confusing a pony for a carnivore. One of the cottage hawks kills a small vole (off the property) and breaks up the corpse on Fluttershy's pillow before trying to feed her.
- In what might be a more standard instance, the general boundary lines which divide the cottage residents are mentioned: herbivores with herbivores, carnivores with carnivores, and the groups don't mix unless Fluttershy is present, with the exception of a few long-time residents who've truly learned to get along. It's a simple preventative measure to keep fights and casualties down — which goes out the window as soon as Fluttershy gets sick, because that's when every animal on the property declares truce. Fluttershy's bedroom is invaded by just about everything at the cottage, and none of them will go after any of the others because they're all trying to take care of her.
- Morphic Resonance: Inverted. Fluttershy suspects that one aspect of her talent is that animals see her as, essentially, a rather oddly colored, differently-shaped, and strangely-behaving member of their own species — which is part of how she's able to communicate with them at all. However, it also means that they tend to treat her as a member of that species — and when she's ill, that includes medical treatment.
- Not Now, Kiddo: Fluttershy's animal friends refuse to listen to her protests against their "medicine" because they presume that since she's sick, she obviously doesn't know what she's talking about.
- Nurse with Good Intentions: Whenever she falls ill, many of Fluttershy's usual patients try to make her feel better. However, pretty much none of them truly grasp that she's a pony.
- Oh, My Gods!: It's quick, but Fluttershy says "Luna watch over you on the road, Applejack." (The story is set well before the Bearers learn the sisters were once ordinary ponies.)
- Shown Their Work: Some animals species will practice basic medicine in the wild: moving the injured towards food and water, finding herbs which have benefits, cleaning wounds and warming the ill. Pretty much everything the cottage residents try with Fluttershy is a tactic which is actually used in nature. It's just that they're instinctively treating the wrong species with no regard for what might truly be wrong with her, and every animal in the cottage who has those instincts is trying to do it at the same time as all the others.
- Badger birthing nests are also accurately described. Marian's been given the proper isolation, and now everypony's just waiting.
- There Was a Door: Purposefully averted by Fluttershy, who doesn't lock hers in an attempt to keep the animals out. Not only are there too many passages honeycombed into the walls, but the collective solution of the cottage to an ill caretaker and locked door is "bear." Leaving the bedroom door unlocked is a lot less expensive than paying for repairs and replacements.
- Worst Aid: Whenever Fluttershy gets sick, all her animal friends try to treat her. In whatever way would be appropriate for a member of their own species. All at the same time.
Applejack: The Sweet Apple Acres Infirmary Blues
Five days in bed. Five days recovering from being sick. Applejack's completely fed up with not doing anything, but it doesn't matter, because her brother spoke to the doctor himself and found out that she has to be in bed for a sixth day in order to prevent relapse. She's bored and doesn't have anything to do and hates being stuck in her bedroom and just wants to get back to work already, even for the little there is to do during the winter — but it's going to be one more day. One more excruciating day, unless she can find something to do.
Anything at all.
- An Interior Designer Is You: Spending so much time in her bedroom forces Applejack to acknowledge the apple themes of the decorations, just before she becomes completely sick of it. Time is spent rearranging the furnishings, shifting things from here to there in the hopes of creating something new, and just making shadow plays over the lamp until repeatedly turning it on and off too quickly starts to produce smoke.
- Exact Words: Big Mac is aware that Applejack occasionally pulls this off in the name of 'lying without lying', and it's why he spoke to the doctor personally: he figured that after Applejack did it, she'd only tell him the parts she liked.
- Hypocrite: Typical for AJ in the Continuum: in Twilight's story, she criticizes the librarian for not being able to get along without using her field for up to a week — and then after spending five days on bed rest, is on the verge of kicking down the walls.
- No Infantile Amnesia: Averted. Apple Bloom was very young when her parents died: she was old enough to be speaking, but perhaps not much more. As such, she's finding it harder to remember her parents with every passing year, and one of the reasons she's been sneaking time with the photo albums is in the hope that it'll give her something more to remember.
- Not What It Looks Like: Applejack hears Apple Bloom sneaking into the attic and presumes it's the new way of hiding Crusade-related activities. It turns out she's just going up there to look at old photo albums of their parents.
- Shotgun Wedding: In one aspect only: when looking at pictures of her parents' wedding, Applejack notes that Big Mac wasn't quite around for it, but she's pretty sure she can see him putting a serious bulge on the dress — directly stating that her mother was pregnant during the ceremony.
- Taught by Experience: An unhappy case. Applejack believes that any time she catches Apple Bloom trying to sneak around or get away with something, it must be tied to an upcoming Crusade disaster — and so when she finds her sister sneaking into the attic, her first instinct drives her towards an angry confrontation. But in this case, all Apple Bloom's been doing is spending some time with old photo albums. Applejack's immediately sorry and encourages her sister to bring the books down into better light, but it still displays some of the damage which the Crusade has done to the family.
- Tragic Dropout: Applejack's search for reading material takes her into Big Mac's bedroom — where the college textbooks he never got to use are still kept.
- Working Through the Cold: Invoked, then averted: Applejack wants to keep working and not being able to is driving her mildly nuts, but Big Mac is going to keep her on bed rest until the last of the doctor's orders has been followed.
Spike: Nothing To Worry About
The bad news is that Spike's sick, and that's something which always makes Twilight worry. Over the course of Equestria's history, very few dragons have lived among ponies, and none of them left behind books of their medical lore. Everything he comes down with is a potential complete unknown, and after the growth incident, there's more to worry about than ever. But the good news is that he's come down with something he's had before, and Twilight knows what the treatment is. All she has to do is find some pink topaz for him to eat, and he'll eventually feel better. Besides, the first time he had it, he pretty much slept for half a day, so there's time to search — and so she and Rarity set off in search of his medicine.
Of course, the last time he got this one, he was much younger. A stronger body wakes up — and a little dragon who's acting more than a little drunk sets off across Ponyville, in search of tissues because his dripping hands aren't allowed to touch books. Nothing wrong with that, right?
Well, nothing wrong unless he just happens to run into one of the panic-prone Flower Trio (post growth incident) and she starts trying to stir the entire settled zone into a panic. But what are the odds of that happening?
- Association Fallacy: A rare justified case. Legally, Twilight and Spike are brother and sister. After knowing them for a while, many ponies in the settled zone will refer to them that way. And if you're Phalae, you've just moved to Ponyville, you've only seen Spike, and you hear somepony say they're going to go find his sister, the logical conclusion is that Ponyville must be host to a full family of dragons.
- Body Pocket: Spike has an extra-large, hollow-domed scale on each hip. There's enough room under each to at least carry a coin or two.
- Conspiracy Theorist: The entire Flower Trio, to the point where they subscribe to a magazine which publishes theories, then eat the articles to keep the knowledge away from them. It's just part of their eternal quest to find new and exciting things to be afraid of. It's mentioned that they've read any number of theories about what happened to Luna, all of which contradicted each other, with every last one being absolutely true.
- Crying Wolf: The reason most of the settled zone doesn't believe the Trio any more: they've been through this a few times too many. It takes the arrival of a new (and equally panic-prone) witness in Phalae to make the police believe something might actually be happening.
- Improbable Antidote: Well, it would be for a pony. With Spike, it's well-known that different gem types affect his body and metabolism, so having some of them be suitable as medicine makes sense — for a dragon.
- Noodle Incident:
- The last time Spike had this particular illness, Twilight saved some of the fluid and tried to use it on books, hoping it would effectively fireproof them. It turns out to react very badly with binding glue (which is similar to Snips' paper reinforcement spell), and it took her some time to get all the fines paid off.
- The Flower Trio apparently once tried to convince Filthy Rich that he had to get rid of his entire stock of avocados, in case they were infested with brain-eating "avocado weevils," a pest with all the existence of a Crumple-Horned Snorkack.
- Only Sane Man: Inverted in that the Flower Trio are well and truly established as the absolute craziest residents of Ponyville: they just see themselves as the only reasonable ponies in town. Played straight in Filthy Rich, who is the first pony to actually try talking calmly to Spike, which allows him to discover the little dragon is just sick.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Miranda Rights, Ponyville's Chief of Police, who while she does get ready to protect the ponies from Spike if he's dangerous, also is damn well determined to ascertain beyond all reasonable doubt that there's actually a need to do so before attacking a little dragon. In the epilogue, she also assures Twilight that there's not going to be any fallout from this — seeking to purchase tissues whilst suffering from the equivalent of a cold is hardly a crime, even if Ponyville's resident paranoiacs did try to use it to spark a riot. The only ones in trouble for this mess are the Flower Trio, although she notes that's unlikely to stick.
- Screw the Rules, I Have Connections!: How the Flower Trio stays out of prison despite their history of inciting riots: Daisy's father is a highly skilled lawyer who keeps finding ways to get his daughter — and her friends — out of trouble.
- Shout-Out: Roseluck recently had a dream about one of her flowers growing a giant bulb of a head and ordering her to bring it ponies to eat. There was an unusual amount of singing.
- Through the Eyes of Madness: Or at least the eyes of fear. Roseluck's encounter with an ill Spike is distorted through her need to be afraid of him, to the point where she invents more details with each retelling while distorting the actual encounter. Spike's simple request for tissues is made into a threat, where he told her he had issues — and it just gets worse from there.
- Worldbuilding: This story reveals some of Spike's biology, focusing on sickness and medical treatment. Also, dragon fireproofing comes from a chemical that they sweat and which soaks into their scales. (It's a conjunctive effect: the scales are heat-resistant on their own, but the saturation completes the process.) However, this chemical has some odd side effects when exposed to certain substances, such as producing smoke when it contacts flint or discoloring paint — and this particular illness makes Spike secrete more than his scales can absorb, making it appear as if he's sweating heavily. Phalae's reaction to seeing the paint discolored is to decide Spike is producing acid.
Rainbow: The Great Plague Vector Stunt
There are two parts to getting into the Wonderbolts Academy. The first is a written application, added to as many recommendations as you can put into the packet. But the second is a practical test, so they can see how well you fly. The squad tours Equestria in order to conduct those examinations, and Rainbow's been spending weeks in getting ready for the Ponyville visit, which is going to take place in just a few hours. Of course, she's not the only one trying out, and she had to spend a lot of time practicing in the upper atmosphere just to get enough clear space for trying out stunts.
Spending time in the upper atmosphere provides privacy. Spending too much time there means contracting Manière's, and Rainbow just woke up with it. For the next three days, in addition to having pink-tinged eyes, she'll be suffering bouts of vertigo pretty much every time she tries to move without concentrating on it. It means she can't move on instinct. It makes flying impossible. And the Wonderbolts won't be back again for fourteen moons.
Rainbow is going to fly in her practical exam, no matter what, because she's not willing to wait that long. She can't. It has to be today, and so it's going to be — even if it kills her.
- Genius Bonus: Rainbow's illness is a pony-pun version of Ménière's disease
- Hopeless Auditionees: Implied. Rainbow feels a lot of ponies are trying out just for the chance to be rejected by somepony famous, but her late arrival at the trials means we only get to see two attempts prior to hers: Snowflake (who manages to impress Spitfire a little once she realizes he's a Handicapped Badass) and Pinkie, whose pedal copter, while it gets her in the air, can't do much in the way of stunts, takes up too much room in any potential formation, and moves at a pace below a standard trot. All Spitfire can do is openly tell her not to expect an acceptance letter while also saying that Pinkie may have found a niche act — or something.
- If We Survive This: This story is the first demonstration that Rainbow subconsciously recognizes the stakes inherent in the missions. The reason she's willing to do anything in order to go through the trials today instead of waiting fourteen moons is because part of her doesn't know if she's still going to be alive in fourteen moons.
- Surprisingly Realistic Outcome: Rainbow's sickness means she almost dies in her trial, getting saved by the narrowest of margins. Once she regains consciousness, Spitfire gives her an epic chewing out, mentioning that she came within an inch of deciding to not only reject Rainbow's application, but to permanently blacklist her, because anypony stupid and/or stubborn enough to fly with Ménière's disease is very likely to end up getting her teammates killed. Only Rainbow's sheer skill and some desperate explanations convinces Spitfire to give Rainbow another chance.
- Working Through the Cold: The story is basically about Rainbow Dash attempts to do so in order to reach and successfully finish her Wonderbolts practical trial. Naturally, this is a bad idea.
Pinkie: The Party To Temporarily Suspend All Parties
- Didn't Think This Through: Pinkie Pie doesn't think to mention she's got the mumps and instead just presumes that all of the other ponies have experienced it themselves. As it turns out, everypony in the Mane Six is vulnerable — Twilight due to being a shut in, Applejack due to being kept on the farm away from infected friends when she was little, Rarity due to sheer luck, and Rainbow Dash & Fluttershy due to the fact mumps don't often make it up to pegasus settlements like Cloudsdale.
Rarity: The Lady On Her Not-Quite-Deathbed
- Drama Queen: One of the side effects from Rarity's medication is the removal of filters, which means she's no longer capable of seeing the line between 'my friends will put up with this level' and 'I am about to be dunked in the fountain.'
- Dressing to Die: Rarity spends several of what she's decided are her last hours — in picking out the exact dress she intends to be caught dead in. (And ultimately winds up with a nightgown.)
