Ethel Merman guest stars. Meanwhile, Fozzie's agent, Irving Bizarre, is visiting to discuss the fact that Fozzie doesn't have a contract.
Songs and Sketches
- "Java"
- Ethel Merman sings a Medley of Duets with the Muppets
- Blackout: Ethel finds out a mouse sings in the band.
- UK Spot: "Don't You Sugar Me"
- Talk Spot: Ethel shows Piggy how to hit that high note.
- Richard Bradshaw shows off his shadow puppetry.
- Fozzie's Comedy Act: Now Fozzie has to deal with other hecklers!
- "There's No Business Like Show Business"
This episode has examples of
- Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs: Done by a heckler (not Statler or Waldorf) during Fozzie's act.Heckler: Hey, bring on the comic!
Fozzie: I am the comic!
Heckler: Then bring on the girls!
Fozzie: This is not that kind of show!
Heckler: Then bring on the girl comic! - Didn't Think This Through: Fed up with all the heckling, Fozzie demands that only Fozzie Bear fans remain in the audience. Cue the audience leaving. "Even my cousin?"
- Glass-Shattering Sound: Ethel shows Miss Piggy how it's done.
- Height Insult: Irving Bizarre is so short that Fozzie has to put him on Kermit's desk—and even then, all that can be seen of him is a pair of shoes and pant cuffs sticking out from under a top hat. Even though Fozzie asks him not to, Kermit can't resist getting in a few short jokes.Kermit: Where's your office, Irving? In your hat?
Irving: Ha ha. Very funny. Very funny.
Kermit: Hey, who else do you handle? Rich Little? Tiny Tim?
Irving: I wouldn't handle you. I'd get warts! - Historical Longevity Joke:Waldorf: I remember Ethel Merman in the opening of Panama Hattie.
Statler: You're old enough to remember Teddy Roosevelt in the opening of the Panama Canal. - Mythology Gag: Java was first performed on The Ed Sullivan Show.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: Irving Bizarre is a parody of well-known agent Irving "Swifty" Lazar, whose clientele included Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Truman Capote, Cher, and Richard Nixon.
- "Shaggy Dog" Story: Irving gets Kermit to multiply Fozzie's pay, but since the bear wasn't being paid at all, this equals an increase of zero.
- [Verb] This!: When Miss Piggy meets Irving, who's still standing on top of Kermit's desk...Irving: Not bad-looking for a pig. Want me to handle you?
Miss Piggy: I already have an agent, Shortstuff.
Irving: I don't wanna be your agent. I just wanna handle you. [Laughs.]
Miss Piggy: Well, handle this! Hi-YAAAAH!
[She karate-chops him off the desk.]
- Statler: [scratching] I wonder why I'm so itchy...?
Waldorf: Maybe the show's starting to get under your skin!
