The Switch
There's a hitch to this switch.
Crypt Keeper: (wearing a headband and struggling to lift a dumbbell made of bones) Welcome, horror hooligans. This is your shiver chef. It's disgusting what people will do to stay young!
(Arnold Schwarzenegger, wearing a Tales From the Crypt shirt, suddenly appears next to him)
Arnold: What's the matter with you? Want to keep that 90-pound corpse for the rest of your death? Keep pumping while I tell the story! (as the Crypt Keeper gets back to pumping; to the viewers) Tonight's story is about an old man who finds a new wrinkle in the fountain of youth. A twisted tale that we call: The Switch.
Carlton Webster (William Hickey), a very rich, very elderly man, is obsessed with Linda (Kelly Preston), a beautiful young woman whom he wants to marry. After admitting his feelings to Linda, but lying about his fortune to make sure that her love for him is genuine, Linda says that Carlton could never be in a relationship with her. Thinking that she's referring to his aged appearance, and as a means to appeal to her request, Carlton decides to visit a mad scientist, and spends his fortune on a series of surgeries that will let him swap bodies with a musclebound Adonis by the name of Hans (Rick Rossovich).
This episode was directed by Arnold Schwarzenegger, who appears with the Crypt Keeper to properly introduce it.
Tropes:
- Age-Gap Romance: Carlton is madly and desperately in love with Linda, but as Linda herself brings up, he's old enough to be her grandfather.
- All for Nothing: After spending all of his money to switch bodies with Hans as a means to impress Linda, Carlton finds out that Linda married Hans, who now has Carlton's old body and his lavish lifestyle.
- Autopsy Snack Time: The Mad Doctor is shown casually slicing up cold cuts for a sandwich with his surgical saw, in the same room where he is about to perform surgery.
- Badass Normal: With his new body, Carlton fights off a crew of would-be carjackers and throws one over the roof of his Bentley with ease. He can also do exercises such as running, pull ups, and weightlifting, feats which wouldn't have been possible in his old body.
- Creator Cameo: Arnold Schwarzenegger appears with the Crypt Keeper in his Crypt to introduce the episode, as he's its director.
- Everybody Lives: A rare example for this series. All the characters in this episode are alive from start to finish.
- Evil Laugh: Hans gives one when Carlton discovers that Linda is now married to him, now that he has Carlton's old body and his fortune.
- Face–Heel Turn: Carlton's butler Fulton, the only person who was trying to convince Carlton that he was embarking on a fool's crusade, ends up working for Hans when he gets Carlton's fortune and body.
- Foreshadowing: On seeing Fulton's new face and the reveal of why he got it, a shocked Linda asks why he'd do such a thing while seemingly forgetting what she said to him about how he looks, hinting that she never cared about Carlton's appearance at all.
- "Freaky Friday" Flip: Thanks to his repeated surgeries, Carlton and Hans gradually switch bodies with one another.
- Genius Bruiser: Though Hans is noted to be the perfect specimen of masculinity, the Mad Doctor also notes that he has a very powerful brain.
- Genre Savvy: Fulton is the only person who questions Carlton about his crush on Linda and whether or not he's doing the right thing regarding his surgeries, correctly deducing that his boss has been blinded by his crush on an obvious Gold Digger.
- Gold Digger: At first, Linda appears to not want Carlton because he's too old for her, but it's later revealed to be because Carlton never told her that he was rich, since he wanted her to love him for who he was and not for his fortune. Unfortunately, Carlton learns this far too late, as he discovers that Linda has married the now old and newly-rich Hans.
- Horrible Judge of Character: Carlton is utterly devoted to blatant Gold Digger Linda, but the only reason that Linda doesn't want to marry him is that he lies about being rich as a way to be sure that she loves him and not his finances. When she keeps denying him marriage, Carlton assumes that this is due to different parts of his aged body, so he ends up spending his entire fortune to swap bodies with muscular hunk Lars to get Linda to love him. But in the end, he finds out the truth far too late.
- Irony: Carlton spends his entire fortune on a younger body for Linda, only to learn that she's married the donor of his new body, who now has his old body and his money. Carlton could've had Linda from the very beginning if he simply said he was rich, but he wanted her to love him for himself instead.
- Love Makes You Dumb: Carlton is head over heels in love with the gold-digging Linda, and gradually spends all of his money on surgically swapping bodies with a hunk to win her over. In the end, he was unable to sense that she was a Gold Digger, as she's since married Hans, who now has Carlton's old body and his fortune. Fulton even brings this up a few times to his former boss, noting that love has been known to make people ignorant and blind.
- Mad Doctor: Carlton visits one of them to have a face, torso, and lower body transplant on three separate occasions.
- Poor Communication Kills: Carlton intentionally doesn't tell Linda that he's a millionaire because he wants to be certain that she loves his personality and not his money. Upon hearing her say that she could never be with someone like him, Carlton concludes that she's talking about his elderly appearance, and eventually spends his entire fortune to be given the body of Hans. When he finally returns to Linda, she has married Hans, who now has Carlton's elderly body and his fortune, thereby revealing herself to have been a Gold Digger from the very start. Carlton could've had her in seconds if he only told her the truth, but his methods in wanting to make sure that Linda's love for him was genuine were his own undoing.
- "Ray of Hope" Ending: Carlton may be broke, but he dodged marrying a woman who didn't love him, he has his youth back, and he can always rebuild his wealth with enough time to enjoy it.
- Rich in Dollars, Poor in Sense: Carlton is worth at least $6 million, and he drains that fortune of his to trade bodies with a muscleman to win the girl of his dreams' affection; a girl who he doesn't even suspect of being so blatantly money-grubbing.
- Rule of Three: Carlton goes through three separate rejections by Linda, and thus goes through three separate surgeries in the mad doctor's lab to become a muscle bound hunk.
- Surgical Impersonation: Carlton and Hans gain each other's appearances through a series of extensive surgeries.
- Tae Kwon Door: When a street gang attempts to carjack Carlton, he uses his newly young body to slam one of them in the face with the car door.
- They Called Me Mad!: Carlton visits a Mad Doctor to have a younger face transplanted onto him. The doctor tells him that he successfully performed this operation in his native land, but everyone in America called him a charlatan and laughed him out of the medical community, vowing that they will one day have to acknowledge his brilliance.
Crypt Keeper: Poor Carlton. Looks like he blew it! But no pain, no gain! I like a body that's nice and... strong. (to a corpse covered under a blanket) It's your lucky day, fella. We want to pump you up! (cackles and begins pumping the corpse with embalming fluid)
