Television Terror
Sometimes it's best to let sleeping houses lie.
Crypt Keeper: (sets up a video camera; looks into it) Hi, Mom! (cackles) I just love home videos, don't you? Especially when the home is haunted! Tonight's twisted tale, my dear couch potatoes, is filed under "T" for "television". Or should that be "terror"? Mr. Horton Rivers is about to find out, so stay tuned to this totally titillating tube! (cackles)
Horton Rivers (Morton Downey, Jr.), the arrogant host of the tabloid news show Horton Rivers Live!, orders his crew to set up shop outside the Ritter House, an abandoned boarding house allegedly said to be haunted by the ghost of its previous owner: Ada Ritter (Jeannie Epper), a psychopathic old woman who murdered at least twelve of her equally elderly guests to swipe their social security checks, then committed suicide. Horton and his cameraman Trip Anderson (Michael Harris) soon enter the long-abandoned house, planning to use the ghostly atmosphere within to score the ratings boost of a lifetime. At first, the investigation is seemingly all hype and no horror, but little are Horton, Trip, and the show's crew aware, the Ritter House has some very real and very sinister surprises waiting for them, letting them learn the hard way that some things are just better left alone.
Tropes:
- Adam Westing: Horton's personality isn't that different from the on-air persona of Morton Downey, Jr., who plays him.
- Adaptational Villainy:
- In the comic, the television personality (named Al Hunt) was just an average reporter who got more than he bargained for when he went inside the house. In the episode, Horton Rivers is a jerk to his staff and has an It's All About Me personality.
- The ghosts. In the comic, there are only three of them, with any murder in their backstories being speculation. They do kill the paranormal expert, but Al commits suicide. Here, it's Ada Ritter, a single Ax-Crazy woman who murdered twelve (soon to be fourteen) people in a viciously gruesome fashion.
- All Part of the Show: Sam and the producers assume that Horton being attacked by ghosts is part of his newscast, as do the network heads, who love the ratings spike the show takes because of it. This is why Sam refuses to let Horton out of the house when he's being attacked, which leads to his death.
- Be Careful What You Wish For: Before he went inside the Ritter House, Horton told Sam that she needed to have a "killer instinct" to thrive in show business. When he's pleading for rescue, Sam throws this advice right back at him, which directly leads to his death and a major amount of impending legal trouble for her and the rest of the crew.
- Big "OMG!": One of the production crew has a low-key example after seeing what the ghosts do to Trip, but Horton ends up getting quite louder when he realizes how much trouble he's in.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: Downplayed. The ending wraparound segment sees the Crypt Keeper watching Horton's show on his TV.
- Break the Haughty: After spending the whole episode being a condescending jerk, Horton is reduced to a blubbering wreck pleading to be let out of the haunted house he tried to exploit.
- Cassandra Truth:
- After Horton sees the ghost of an old man with a slashed throat in the bathtub, he tries getting Trip and the crew to believe him, even though they didn't see it. Immediately after this, ghostly activity starts up (slamming doors, music, flashing lights, the works).
- Dr. Roland Wershafter, the paranormal researcher Horton interviewed before he went inside the house, flat out warned Horton to not go in there due to the strong evil presence he sensed within it. Guess what Horton does in response.
- Chainsaw Good: Ada Ritter's ghost wields a chainsaw, which she slices into Horton's gut.
- Creepy Basement: Ada was known to have dismembered her victims' corpses and stacked the parts behind a wall in her basement.
- Deadly Bath: Ada presumably killed one of her victims by slitting his throat while he was in the tub. Horton spots the man's ghost in the bathroom, still fresh from his killing.
- Decomposite Character: Due to Dr. Wershafter wisely staying outside of the house, Trip takes his role as Horton's doomed companion during their investigation of the house.
- Delayed "Oh, Crap!": Following what becomes of Trip, Horton and the production crew are completely shocked, but one of the crew suddenly realizes an even more urgent matter: who's still holding the camera?
- Do Not Taunt Cthulhu: Despite Wershafter's warnings that the Ritter House is absolutely nothing to screw with, Horton exploits the house and the supposed hauntings going on inside for big time television ratings. By the climax of the episode, he's reduced to a blubbering wreck pleading for rescue.
- Downer Ending: Trip is murdered by the ghosts, and Horton follows not long after, done in by Ada Ritter's spirit herself. As a reminder, this whole thing was televised live, and if the amount of ringing phones in the Horton Rivers Live! van is any indication, Sam and the rest of the crew are in some very deep trouble.
- Every Man Has His Price: Averted. Dr. Wershafter tells Horton that no amount of money in the world could convince him to enter the accursed Ritter House.
- Evil Is Not a Toy: Horton takes his cameraman Trip inside the abandoned and allegedly haunted Ritter House for thrills and ratings. The ghosts haunting the place are all too eager to oblige, with Horton himself ending up disemboweled and hung for his trouble.
- Evil Old Folks: Ada Ritter, who killed 12 old men to steal their social security checks.
- Evil Tainted the Place: The numerous murders that Ada committed in her boarding house have effectively turned it into a supernatural hellhole, as pointed out by Dr. Wershafter, who smartly refuses to go inside.
- Expy: Horton Rivers is basically Downey's character Tony Pope from Predator 2, if not one of Downey himself.
- Foreshadowing:
- During his initial investigation of the house's kitchen, Horton finds old foodstuffs on the shelves and countertop, prompting him to comment "It's as if Ada Ritter never left."
- After Horton says that his show's ratings are going to go through the roof, Sam retorts that they're actually going to go "out the goddamn window".
- The lore surrounding the Ritter House mentions that Ada dismembered her victims after murdering them, as said victims' ghosts appear disemboweled.
- After the first bout of ghostly activity, Horton gets in front of the camera to do a standup bit. The lighting of the camera makes his shadow look like it's being hung from the ceiling.
- When Horton is trying to open a door that previously opened on its own, accompanied with a ghostly "Please help me", Trip's camera stops producing light for a moment, and we don't see Trip again for a few moments...
- From Bad to Worse: The paranormal activity in the Ritter House starts acting up and gets steadily worse, to the point where angry spirits show up and start attacking Horton.
- Genre Savvy: Dr. Wershafter makes a point of telling Horton not to go inside the Ritter House, remains outside of it during filming, and prior to the climax, point-blank tells Horton he's fucked.
- Ghastly Ghost: The ghosts of the Ritter House are Ada's murdered victims, who kill Trip by hanging him from the ceiling. There's also Ada herself, who attacks Horton with a chainsaw.
- Gone Horribly Right: Horton wanted to see and experience genuine supernatural activity in a Haunted House and catch it live on camera to get big ratings for his television show. He gets exactly what he wanted, though it turns out horribly for everyone in the end.
- Hated by All: Every single member of Horton's crew thinks of him as an enormous dick. That said, they're still horrified that they left him inside the Ritter House to be viciously killed.
- Haunted House: The Ritter House. Allegedly at first, but horrifically proven later.
- Immoral Journalist: Horton goes ahead and screws with a haunted house for the sake of ratings.
- Ironic Echo: "You gotta have that killer instinct."
- Jacob Marley Apparel: The Ritter House's resident ghosts are still clad in the outfits they wore when they were killed, still showing the gruesome injuries they suffered.
- Karmic Twist Ending: The legendary Ritter House claims two more victims (Horton and Trip) and adds another chapter to its dark history.
- Kick the Dog: Leaving Horton inside the Ritter House as he's screaming for help was a callous move, but before he went in, he was a colossal dick to Sam and the crew.
- Light Is Not Good: The Ritter House is painted white and looks rather nice on the outside. It's what's inside that's the problem.
- Little "No": Horton, when confronted by Ada's ghost herself.
- My God, What Have I Done?: Sam and the rest of the crew have this reaction after seeing Horton being killed before their eyes, right after they decided to leave him in the house by thinking it was All Part of the Show.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: When Horton begs for help as Ada's ghost attacks him, Sam tells the production crew to leave him in the house. An exact minute later, he flies out the window, disemboweled and hung, on live TV. The phones inside the crew's trailer start ringing off the hook, no doubt being a bunch of network executives who are pissed at Sam's actions.
- Noodle Implements: At one point, Sam goes over the options for Horton's next show with the man himself. The topics listed include Satanists, impotent transvestites, soldiers of fortune, a black Neo-Nazi group, a culture show about breast implants featuring a group of strippers who were all in the same convent (Horton selects them over another group of strippers who "use animals"), and a couple who allegedly snapped pictures of Jim Morrison having lunch with Marilyn Monroe in Paris.
- Only Sane Man: Dr. Wershafter not only refuses to enter the Ritter House, but he warned Horton and his crew to not venture inside the accursed place themselves.
- Oh, Crap!:
- After a certain point, Trip goes silent and we don't see him again... until his dead body drops down from the rafters, hung from a noose. It gets worse from there, as one of the crewmen points out that someone is still holding the camera.
- Sam and the rest of the crew have a massive one when they realize that all of Horton's yelling and screaming wasn't part of his show, and they genuinely left him in the house to die.
- On the Next: Posthumously done over a shot of Horton's corpse at the end of the episode.Horton: Hey, folks! What's it like to have sex with Satan? Meet four women and one man who say they have on the next edition of Horton Rivers! Live!note
- Our Ghosts Are Different: The ghosts haunting the Ritter House resemble people with pale skin and various open wounds.
- Product Placement: As Horton's show goes to commercial, a Snuggle fabric softener commercial plays for a few seconds.
- Real After All: Is the Ritter House haunted? As Horton and Trip find out, yes. Yes, it is.
- Real Time: The entire episode takes place over the course of filming for an episode of Horton Rivers Live!.
- Screaming Warrior: Ada Ritter's ghost howls and screams like a banshee while she goes after Horton with her chainsaw.
- Sealed Evil in a Can: The Ritter House is metaphorically described as "a pit of seething evil" by Dr. Wershafter. It's also true in the literal sense, as the house was boarded up and sealed off for five years.
- Shout-Out:
- Apparently, Horton's producers are afraid that his expose on the Ritter House is going to wind up being "another Al Capone's vault
." - Trip proclaims, after stepping inside the Ritter House, that he feels like he's on Lost in Space.
- Apparently, Horton's producers are afraid that his expose on the Ritter House is going to wind up being "another Al Capone's vault
- Skepticism Failure: Sam brought Dr. Wershafter on his show to play the role of a "paranormal expert" for the cameras, and Horton just debases him and doubts his psychic ability. Wershafter proves to be anything but phony, explicitly warning Horton about the Ritter House. The crew learns this much too late, as it costs them the lives of their boss and his cameraman.
- Slasher Smile: Sam gains one as she insists that Horton stays inside the house, which continues as he tells Horton that no one is coming to save him, finally finding the killer instinct her boss told her about.
- Sleeping with the Boss: Horton reminds Sam that she's sleeping with him, but notes that doing so doesn't give her a free ride regarding the job.
- Spared by the Adaptation: The paranormal expert goes in the house and dies in the original comic, but here, he has the sense to stay out.
- Spiritual Predecessor: This episode can be considered to be a Villain Episode prequel/spin-off for Downey's Slimeball reporter character Tony Pope from Predator 2 (which would be released months after the original airing), once again trying to exploit a horrific tragedy for his own selfish gain and getting Laser-Guided Karma as a result. The difference is that this time, it's much more fatal than just getting knocked out cold by Danny Glover.
- Swarm of Rats: Two of them appear on the countertop as Trip films the kitchen. One of the crew members mockingly calls the rats Horton's family.
- Tempting Fate:
- After finding everything untouched in the kitchen, Horton makes an off-hand comment that it's as if Ada Ritter never left at all. He'll be wishing he was wrong...
- The initial investigation of the Ritter House is seemingly a dud, as nothing happens while Horton and Trip explore the place. When asked to "spice the show up" by the producers, Horton asks how he can possibly make things more interesting. Cue a ghostly, disembodied voice moaning for help from upstairs.
- Very Loosely Based on a True Story: Ada Ritter's murders are very similar to the case of real life serial killer Dorothea Puente.
- Wham Line:
- After the first bout of paranormal activity, Horton consults Dr. Wershafter and asks if he and Trip are in any danger:
Dr. Wershafter: You were in danger the moment you crawled through the threshold.- After seeing Trip's corpse, Horton looks into the camera, just as one of the crewmembers realizes something:
Horton, who's got the camera?! - Wham Shot:
- As Horton investigates some bloodstains on the carpet, a pair of legs suddenly swing into the background. Horton looks up and sees Trip's corpse, hanging from the rafters by a noose.
- Soon after Horton sees the corpse, he looks into the light of the camera, which is then thrown to the floor, revealing the ghost that was holding it.
- Horton trips inside the room he was hiding in, but as he gets up, we see an old lady's shadow on the wall.
Crypt Keeper: (watching Horton's show on his own TV, snacking on cheese puffs; he cackles, then turns the set off) Oh, that Horton. He's a real swinger! He hangs out in all the right places. No wonder he's such a hit on live... or is it dead TV? (cackles; turns the episode off)
