Airdate: Monday, March 31, 2008
Sender: Paxton Westergard, Anacortes Washington
Paxton Westergard ("You'll never be a weatherman with a name like that. How about just... Paxto West?") wants to know "waht" Strong Bad would turn into if he had the power of shape-shifting. Strong Bad replies that while he'd normally be all over having super-powers, "if comic books, cartoons, and Sci-Fi Original Movies have taught me anything," shape-shifting tends to come with all manner of annoying and ridiculous rules and restrictions.
Out in the Field, Strong Bad tries to save Marzipan from a rabid The Cheat with his new-found powers (and his "cool trademark sound effect", which every shape-shifter should have... and which, in his case, happens to be "DWAYNE!") by becoming a balloon Sumatran tiger. But even after a few false starts (transforming into a poodle and a donkey respectively), Strong Bad helplessly floats away in a stiff breeze, just as The Cheat presumably goes in for the kill.
Strong Bad considers the power to turn into legal tender, "One of the only good legal things in existence", and tries to use himself to buy a Lamborghini hot tub from Bubs' Concession Stand.
Bubs: The what? (looks down) Oh! That Lamborghini hot tub. It sure is back here! That'll run you one hundred... (Bubs nods his head a few times, Strong Bad nodding along with him) dollars!
Strong Bad: Swedish deals! Shapeshift unto... A hundred dollar bill! DWAYNE! (Strong Bad turns into a hundred dollar bill.)
Alas, as paper money, Strong Bad is once again at the mercy of the wind. To make matters worse, Coach Z finds him and tucks him into "the loose band of [his] sweaty sweat-sweats."
Accompanied by The Cheat, Strong Bad imagines himself turning into the King of Town in order to eat his way through a "ten-foot wall of pecan cheese balls", but is unable to eat anything when he's only the King of Town's right half.
Strong Bad tries to game the system by impersonating Bubs to sell himself a Lamborghini hot tub, but this backfires in a not-unsurprising way. Then things take a confusing turn...
DWAYNE! (Strong Bad turns into Bubs' lower torso and legs)
Strong Bad: Oh man! I turned into the wrong "almost"! This plan was supposed to be foolproof. All anybody ever sees is Bubs' ample top portions!
Coach Z: (offscreen) Oh Bubs! Oh Bubs! I'm coming to your concession stand to talk to you!
Strong Bad: Wait, maybe I can still make this work! (jumps onto the counter, turning upside-down in the process)
Coach Z: Hey, nice headstand, Bubs. I'd like one Lamborghini hot tub, please. (pulls an oddly-familiar bill out of his pocket) Allow me to use this moistened hundred dollar bill I found earlier today.
Strong Bad: Wait, what?
(A balloon animal that resembles Strong Bad's balloon Sumatran tiger form floats by)
Coach Z: Oh look, a giraffe!
(Cut back to Strong Bad at the Lappy)
Strong Bad: Uh, that was confusing. See what I mean? Shapeshifting is laden with confusing troubles and a severe lack of hot tubs!
Strong Bad does find some use for shape-shifting powers: using them to get out of talking to Homestar.
Strong Bad: Oh crap! DWAYNE!
(Strong Bad turns into a hand-knitted scarf bearing a tag reading "From: Grandma". Homestar enters, carrying a chessboard with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on it, but scowls when he sees the scarf.)
Homestar: Oh, it's you again, Scarf from Grandma! Never mind... (leaves)
Tropes:
- Behind the Black: The Cheat doesn't freak out about Strong Bad turning into half the King of Town until he turns to face the camera, revealing his new form.
- Brick Joke: At the start of the email, Strong Bad lists "you can only turn into presents your grandma's knitted for you" as a lame restriction to shapeshifting. At the end, he turns into a knitted scarf from grandma to avoid talking to Homestar.
- Continuity Nod: An Easter egg has the Tire as weatherman "Paxto West". The Tire did the weather reports for Strong Badia Action Cool News 5 in "local news".
- Department of Redundancy Department: Coach Z inadvertantly rubs in what a horrbile place his waistband is by calling it the "moist lining of my sweaty sweat-sweats".
- Easter Egg: One Easter egg produces a string of numbers and letters that's actually the Youtube video ID for a promotional video
for the then-upcoming Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People. - Enmity with an Object: For whatever reason, Homestar isn't pleased to see Strong Bad disguised as a "Scarf from Grandma", which prompts him to hastily leave.
- Exact Words: Strong Bad gets the power to "turn into almost anyone"... as in, he can turn into about half of a person.
- Fantasy Twist: Strong Bad imagines several different types of shape-shifting powers, and then all the ways they can go wrong.
- Mind Screw: In Strong Bad's final Imagine Spot, three different Strong Bads in three different forms (Bubs' legs, a hundred-dollar bill, and a balloon animal) show up in the same place, leaving him thoroughly confused.
- Noodle Implements: Near the end of the cartoon, Homestar briefly comes into Strong Bad's email room carrying a chessboard with scoops of ice cream on it, for some reason.
- Required Secondary Powers: Discussed; One of Strong Bad's complaints about limitations on shape-shifting is "You can turn into a machine gun, but not bullets..."
- Screaming at Squick: Downplayed; the thought of turning into a hundred-dollar bill and getting tucked into the waistband of Coach Z's sweatpants causes Strong Bad to fall over onto the floor, groaning in disgust.
- Shapeshifting Sound: Discussed; Strong Bad says all shape-shifters need a "cool trademark sound effect" that plays when they change forms, which in his case is "DWAYNE!" said in a echo-y voice.
- Take Our Word for It: When Strong Bad asks to buy a "Lamborghini hot tub" from Bubs, Bubs replies "Oh, that Lamborghini hot tub! It sure is back here!"
- Unsound Effect: Strong Bad's "trademark sound effect" for changing forms is "DWAYNE!"
- Voluntary Shapeshifting: Strong Bad discusses several examples of this power, and their downsides.
- Weaksauce Weakness: When Strong Bad is listing potential drawbacks that come packaged with shapeshifting, one of them is "contemporary jazz turns you back to normal". He also finds that wind is an issue... at least for those with the power to turn into paper money or balloon animals.
- What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: Strong Bad brings up the examples of turning into "presents your grandma's knitted you" or turning into "any species of balloon animal".
(New Paper comes down.)
