"At a quarter a pop, this thing pays for itself in no time!"
Skill Crane
Original air date: 5/20/2005 (produced in 2004)
When Mr. Krabs installs a skill crane at the Krusty Krab as a cash grab, Squidward becomes obsessed with winning something from the game after seeing how easy it is for SpongeBob to win.
"Skill Crane" contains examples of:
- An Aesop:
- Don't get obsessed with trying to succeed at something you aren't good at. Everyone is better at different fields than others.
- Don't be afraid to ask for help.
- In gambling, the only winner is the one providing the gambling.
- Don't let one victory go to your head.
- Although there is a slim chance you may actually win, many crane games are usually rigged.
- Asshole Victim:
- Mr. Krabs gets Squidward hooked on the skill crane, getting all of his money. At the end of the episode, Squidward causes a construction crane to go out of control, which destroys the Krusty Krab.
- Squidward himself. After finally winning at the skill crane, his victory goes to his head and he steals a real crane, destroying a mall under construction. SpongeBob tries to save him from the angry construction workers, but fails.
- Blatant Lies: Mr. Krabs pays Squidward in quarters, quite clearly for the intent of him spending them on the crane, but says it's in case he wants to "do laundry" or "buy a soda".
- Competition Freak: Squidward becomes obsessed with Skill Crane because SpongeBob wins with ease every time. When he's used all his saved money and the deed to his house to keep playing all night, he sobs that if he could win just once, he'd never play again.
- Determinator: Squidward. He even uses the deed to his house as currency.
- Eye Scream:
- Happens when Squidward is unable to pick up the remote with his hand, and so he resorts to pushing the button with his eye.
- Later happens when Squidward hijacks the construction crane and SpongeBob does an Eye Pop when he sees it backing into him before using his elongated eyes as legs to run away.
- Failure Montage: There is one of Squidward trying but failing miserably to win a prize from the crane.
- G-Rated Drug: Or, in this case, a G-rated addiction not of the controlled substance variety. There's no metaphor or symbolism — Squidward develops a straight up gambling addiction... using a crane game instead of casinos or racetracks.
- Gilligan Cut:Squidward: If I can't win one of those stupid things with this quarter, I'm walking away!
French Narrator: Six hours later...
(cut to Squidward sitting on the floor next to the skill crane with a bag over his head) - Going Cold Turkey: Squidward actually realizes the scam Mr. Krabs is pulling and stops playing after his second try. Unfortunately, he starts hearing Skill Crane calling to him amid its metallic squeaks and it's right there in the main dining room with the front counter.
- Impact Silhouette: Squidward makes one in his closet door when he runs into his closet to get his piggy bank.
- Kick Them While They're Down: Squidward mocks a kid who failed at the crane. The kid kicks him in the shin.
- Knee-capping: In response to Squidward mocking him for losing the game, the kid gives him a kick to the shin.
- Laser-Guided Karma:
- Mr. Krabs screws Squidward out of all of his money by feeding his obsession with the crane; when Squidward tries his luck on a real crane, he ends up plowing it right into the Krusty Krab.
- Same goes for Squidward for letting his victory go to his head and then accidentally destroying an entire mall under construction. The crew doesn't intend to let him off easy for it.
- A Lesson Learned Too Well: "Be the crane!"
- Madness Mantra: "Be the crane."
- Manipulative Bastard: Mr. Krabs gets Squidward hooked on the game using the "first taste is free" tactic.
- Mean Boss: Mr. Krabs, who takes advantage of Squidward's newfound addiction to gambling with the skill crane so that he doesn't have to pay Squidward his employee salary and as a bonus, earn extra money from Squidward.
- Oh, Crap!: Everyone gets a massive one when Squidward takes out an entire mall that was under construction. Things quickly get out of hand from there.
- Only Sane Man: Strangely, SpongeBob of all characters functions as this in the episode, with him showing concern towards Squidward's gambling addiction and trying to talk down Squidward from operating the construction crane.
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business:
- Mr. Krabs is completely unconcerned with the cost of the machine, stating it will pay for itself in no time. This foreshadows just how addictive it is.
- He also suddenly begins paying his employees, something he was stingy with in the past (and in fact it's stated a few times – Big Pink Loser, and his new policy in Squid On Strike – that he charged his employees to work for him on a few occasions). He suddenly pays SpongeBob and Squidward so he can enable Squidward's skill crane addiction, even making it obvious by paying him in the form of a bag of quarters.
- Squidward's bragging about finally winning at the skill crane is so bad that even SpongeBob is clearly losing his patience before Squidward steals a real crane.
- Pet the Dog: Mr. Krabs' scheme to cheat Squidward out of his paycheck involved paying SpongeBob as well, something he doesn't seem to have a problem with. He also gives them each a quarter to play the Skill Crane when it is installed, though that's to bait them into playing—even if only Squidward becomes completely addicted.
- Running Gag: Squidward losing while SpongeBob wins.
- Shout-Out: Squidward hearing the Skill Crane calling his name in a metallic voice.
- Skewed Priorities: Squidward goes to absurd lengths just to beat the machine, including sacrificing the deed to his house. Also, SpongeBob wins two toys in one round, but puts the other back.
- Suddenly Shouting: Mr. Krabs asks Squidward if he needs more change for the claw. Squidward answers no, and when Mr. Krabs asks him why...Squidward: Because... I'm all out of... MONEY!!!
- Take That!: To crane games as a whole, which are known to be notoriously difficult to beat.
- The Tetris Effect: After being stuck playing (and losing) the Krusty Krab's new crane game all day, Squidward goes home to find that he's lost all his motor skills, dropping everything he tries to pick up while hearing the sound of the crane's claw closing down.
- Tranquil Fury: Squidward has this when Mr. Krabs asks if he needs change for the claw, and says no and Mr. Krabs wonders why.Squidward: Because... I'm all out of... MONEY!!!
- Truth in Television: In real life, it is unfortunate, but not unheard of, for some crane machines to be rigged. It's possible Mr. Krabs also ordered a crane machine that's been rigged.
- Unsportsmanlike Gloating: "I'm a winner, see my prize! You're a loser who sits and cries!"
The President of the Secret Royal Order of the Good Neighbor Lodge, ready to enjoy his Sunday.
Good Neighbors
Original air date: 5/20/2005 (produced in 2004)
All Squidward wants is to enjoy a stress-free Sunday, so he demands that SpongeBob and Patrick keep quiet. They unfortunately miss this message and keep ruining his day by trying to prove they are good neighbors by inducting him as their president of the "Good Neighbor Lodge".
"Good Neighbors" contains examples of:
- An Aesop: Give people time to relax. You don't always have to be in their life.
- A.I. Is a Crapshoot: New Security System 5000 when it goes into CODE RED. Before it was ruined, it did its job correctly—SpongeBob and Patrick were only trying to apologize, and thus, they were not a threat.
- Animate Inanimate Object: Squidward's house comes to life due to a security system malfunction.
- Apology Gift: SpongeBob and Patrick give Squidward a "Sorry for Bugging You So Much" cake as an apology for ruining Squidward's relaxing Sunday. But Squidward understandably didn't accept their gift, so the situation only went From Bad to Worse.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Squidward's "The Reason You Suck" Speech involves calling SpongeBob and Patrick the worst neighbors ever, destroying their fezzes, and to stop calling him president.
- Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: When Squidward's security system malfunctions, it causes the house to sprout arms and legs and go on a rampage.
- Bait-and-Switch Comment:SpongeBob: Sunday? No wonder Squidward's grumpy... he forgot his Sunday papers!
- Bottle Episode: Most of the episode is set at Conch Street, mainly Squidward's house, with a brief scene downtown near the end.
- Brick Joke: Near the beginning, SpongeBob assumes Squidward's grumpy because his Sunday papers never came to the door, only to scatter them. Later on, Squidward finds the papers, having been gathered up by SpongeBob.
- Butt-Monkey: Squidward becomes this. This becomes even worse since it happens on his favorite day of the week.
- Continuity Nod: SpongeBob and Patrick previously made an apology cake for Squidward in “Squidville.” Although unlike that episode, the cake in this episode makes it to Squidward.
- Corrupted Contingency: Squidward installs a security system to keep SpongeBob and Patrick out of his house. Not only does it fail to keep the two out, but SpongeBob dropping a cake on the main computer causes it to transform the house into a rampaging robot that attacks Bikini Bottom. The episode ends with Squidward, SpongeBob and Patrick sentenced to court-ordered community service to pay for the damages.
- Crush the Keepsake: Squidward steals SpongeBob and Patrick's fezzes during his "The Reason You Suck" Speech towards them and then destroys them in his angry frenzy.
- Didn't Think This Through: Finally sick of their constant bugging him on his favourite day, Squidward installs a security system to keep SpongeBob and Patrick out for good, only for Sponge and Pat to just walk in right after he installs it in his house in an attempt to give him an apology cake; Squidward failed to consider that just because he considers SpongeBob and Patrick a threat doesn't mean the security system would as well. Worse, Squidward gets angry and starts pounding on his own security system, which then considers him a threat and kicks him out of his own house.
- Downer Ending: Squidward, SpongeBob, and Patrick are sentenced to perform community service every Sunday for the rest of their lives to pay for the destruction caused by Squidward's house. Though, this is only a downer for Squidward as the latter two don't seem too bothered.
- Dramatically Missing the Point: SpongeBob and Patrick have no idea that their efforts in being good neighbors are utterly ruining Squidward's Sunday until Squidward finally spells it out to them.
- Dumbass Has a Point:
- SpongeBob and Patrick are quick to realize maybe they're not good neighbors to Squidward at all after he calls them out. Of course, Squidward rubs it in a few seconds later.
- Also, when SpongeBob gets kicked out in the beginning, he notes that Squidward's Sunday papers were never delivered to his doorstep and assumes that's why he's grumpy today.
- Everyone Has Standards:
- SpongeBob and Patrick actually feel deeply sorry for themselves when Squidward calls them out for ruining his day. They try to make it to him by buying him an apology cake, but Squidward still won't forgive them.
- Also earlier, SpongeBob shows genuine concern for Squidward, when he sees Squidward's Sunday papers were not delivered to the door and believes the reason Squidward is grouchy and thinks he's not a good neighbor is because they never came; he and Patrick then struggle to round up the papers when they come undone, and they get "attacked" by a "newspaper monster" before managing to deliver them to Squidward sometime later.
- Evil Laugh: Squidward emits a rather unsettling one when deciding to order the security system.
- Faux Horrific: Patrick mistaking SpongeBob holding Squidward's Sunday papers for a "newspaper monster", and when they crash into each other, they scream and run around as the papers fly around them.
- Gale-Force Sound: Squidward yells, "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" which causes a wind which blows away SpongeBob and Patrick, and while they were trying to apologize to him again.
- Get Out!: Squidward tells SpongeBob and Patrick this a couple of times.
- Gone Horribly Wrong: SpongeBob and Patrick's attempts to make Squidward happy only do the exact opposite. When they attempt to apologize to him for ruining his day, he thinks it is a trap (not knowing they really mean it) and ends up sending his own house on a rampage, which gets him into community service.
- Heel Realization: When Squidward snaps at the two of them, SpongeBob and Patrick realize they aren't good neighbors like they had believed themselves to be and attempt to make it up to Squidward.
- High-Pressure Emotion: Squidward steams with anger when he reads the note that his neighbors left on his pile of newspaper that SpongeBob delivered to him.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: Squidward installs the security system to keep SpongeBob and Patrick out, but the system kicks Squidward out instead due to him tampering with it.
- Idiot Houdini: SpongeBob and Patrick for aggravating Squidward to the point where his extreme tactics to keep them at bay result in him having to do community service every Sunday with them at his side, neither of whom mind.
- Insecurity System: Squidward's home security system ends up taking over his house and turning it into a Humongous Mecha out to destroy Bikini Bottom.
- Insignia Rip-Off Ritual: As part of Squidward's angry frenzy, he steals Sponge and Pat's Good Neighbor Lodge fezzes and stomps on them, destroying them.
- Jerkass Has a Point: All Squidward wants is to have a nice and relaxing Sunday on his own, so you can't blame him with his many attempts to get rid of Patrick and SpongeBob.
- Jump Cut: SpongeBob and Patrick are in the living room with Squidward upon first approaching him in fezzes, but after they go "Oooooooooh", they’re in his house's kitchen.
- Jump Scare: Squidward does this to SpongeBob and Patrick before giving them "The Reason You Suck" Speech by smashing his head through the door. He does a second one later when the two realise the error of their ways, but he's not finished yet.
- Mistaken for Disease: When two fish see Squidward with red paint spots all over his face, they mistake it for a horrible disease and take him to the hospital.
- Non-Indicative Name: The so-called "Good Neighbors Club" that SpongeBob and Patrick set up in their Gone Horribly Wrong attempts to make Squidward's Sunday fun turns out to be this due to their exaggerated idiocy. Lampshaded when Squidward kicks the boys out of his house, all while berating them and calls them "horrible neighbors".
- Obliviously Evil: SpongeBob and Patrick absolutely have no idea that they've done nothing but ruined Squidward's day (until his Rage Breaking Point), if not the rest of his life.
- Oh, Crap!: Squidward has this reaction twice:
- First, when the security system goes haywire.
- Then again when he finds out he’ll be doing community service every Sunday for the rest of his life…with SpongeBob and Patrick.
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business: After Squidward calls them out, SpongeBob and Patrick drop all of their goofball tenancies and feel sorry for themselves and attempt to apologize.
- Persona Non Grata: Squidward bans SpongeBob and Patrick from his house for ruining his Sunday. They briefly disobey him to apologize and offer a cake in return.
- Pulled from Your Day Off: In a non-employment example, Squidward receives a jury summons that states that in order to pay for the destruction of Bikini Bottom, Squidward must do community service every Sunday for the rest of his life, which means he's never allowed to relax on Sunday ever again.
- Rage Breaking Point: SpongeBob and Patrick taking/using up his spa treatment is the last straw for Squidward, leading him to ban them from his house, berate them for their extreme stupidity, and destroy their fezzes.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Squidward gives a harsh one to SpongeBob and Patrick ruining his relaxation.Squidward: (opens the door) Alright, you two! OUT! (SpongeBob and Patrick slowly walk out) And don't even ''think'' about dragging your empty skulls around here for the rest of the day! Or tomorrow! Or next week!
SpongeBob: Squidward, does that include—
Squidward: YES, IT DOES! (slams his door)
SpongeBob: Gee, Patrick, do you think Squidward was trying to tell us something?
Squidward: (bursts his head through door, jumpscaring the duo) YES, I WAS!!! You call yourselves good neighbors?! You're the worst neighbors EVER! (deep breath) You don't deserve to wear those fezzes! (takes SpongeBob's and Patrick's fezzes off, flings them onto the ground, and stomps on them, destroying them)
SpongeBob: Gee, Pat, maybe President Squidward's right.
Patrick: Yeah, I guess we're not good neighbors after all.
Squidward: NO, YOU AREN'T! YOU'RE HORRIBLE NEIGHBORS! (deep breath) And stop calling me president!
SpongeBob: C'mon, let's go. (he and Patrick sadly walk away) - Rejected Apology: SpongeBob and Patrick attempt to give Squidward an apology cake to make amends for ruining his relaxing Sunday. However, Squidward refuses to accept it.
- Rent-a-Zilla: Squidward's house becomes this when SpongeBob and Patrick accidentally spill their apology cake on Squidward's home security system.
- Rule of Symbolism: Sponge and Pat's Good Neighbor fezzes being destroyed by Squidward is a visual indication of their spirits being crushed and the first sign of them realizing they did nothing to make his day and they've been horrible to him.
- Screw the Rules, I'm Doing What's Right!: Despite Squidward ordering Sponge and Pat to go away for the rest of the day, they purposely disobey him and come back, right after the security system activated, so they can apologize for their actions, which causes him to assume an inversion.
- Series Continuity Error: It is said Squidward's favorite day is Sunday, but in "Cephalopod Lodge" two seasons later, SpongeBob says that Squidward considers the third Wednesday of the month his favorite.
- Skewed Priorities: Squidward's house runs around town going on a rampage and yet he just lies down and rests for finally getting rid of SpongeBob and Patrick.
- Swiss-Cheese Security: When Squidward has enough of SpongeBob and Patrick ruining his day, he orders and installs a security system that will dispose of any threat to his home, but the two walk right into Squid's house without any problems mere seconds after he installs and activates it. Justified; while Squidward sees them as a threat, that doesn't mean the system does.
- This Is Unforgivable!: While SpongeBob and Patrick are genuinely sorry for ruining his day, Squidward thinks they are blatantly lying. This is what made their attempts to make amends for him fail terribly.
- Throw the Dog a Bone: A very, very minor one: the couple who almost hit Squidward when he stumbles blind into the road are immediately concerned that he's sick and drive him to a hospital. If nothing else, he definitely got away from SpongeBob and Patrick for at least that long.
- Turned Against Their Masters: The Security System that Squidward installs into his house sees him as a threat, when really, it's supposed to keep out those who aren't allowed in his house (in this case SpongeBob and Patrick).
- Unishment: Like Squidward, SpongeBob and Patrick are ordered to do community service every Sunday for the rest of their lives. However, unlike Squidward, they are excited about it, possibly because Squidward will be joining.
- Worst. Whatever. Ever!: Squidward calls SpongeBob and Patrick "the worst neighbors ever" when he berates them for taking his Sunday away.
