Shanghaied
Original air date: 3/9/2001 (produced in 2000)
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are shanghaied into serving on the Flying Dutchman's ghostly ship. Meanwhile, Patchy the Pirate hosts the "SpongeBob's You Wish Spectacular Special" while Potty the Parrot harasses him at every opportunity.
The special starts with Patchy the Pirate hosting the "SpongeBob's You Wish Spectacular Special" (in later airings, "Patchy's Pick") and, as a treat, shows the kids at home his favorite episode “Shanghaied” before Potty launches him from a cannon.
The real story begins with breakfast as SpongeBob pours a bowl of Kelpo cereal. When he can't find to find the prize inside, SpongeBob hits the box. Immediately, a giant anchor drops right into the kitchen and wrecks SpongeBob's house. SpongeBob and Patrick mistake the giant anchor as a sky baby while Squidward climbs up it to complain to the owner. The owner turns out to be the Flying Dutchman (or as SpongeBob calls him, the "Red Baron"). When the Dutchman demands why they're there, SpongeBob and Patrick wind up telling the Dutchman that Squidward wanted to complain about his dirty ship or perhaps his dirty mother. Squidward is burned and the dimwit duo jump off the side. After a few more jumps and Squidward being burned to a crispier crisp, the Dutchman tells them they'll be forced to serve as his crew. Squidward complains about this demand and is thrown into the "Fly of Despair", a portal in the shape of pants zipper that opens into a h orrible dimension full of monsters. SpongeBob and Patrick look on in horror and go along with the Dutchman's plans. The dimwitted duo proceed to be more of a hassle than they're worth, as they can't do the same things the Dutchman can do, like phase through walls (they slam into them), create thunder and lightning (they blow bubbles and wobble metal), and spin their heads (they spin... in a synchronized ice skating). The Dutchman sends them to their quarters and tells them he's going to eat them. SpongeBob and Patrick try to escape by running through the perfume department and steal the Dutchman's dining sock so he can't eat them. The endangered duo uses the sock as a bargaining chip so the Dutchman will give them three wishes. Patrick wastes the first one on wishing for time to go backwards ("Wishes? I wish we'd known that earlier!"), SpongeBob wastes the second wish by wishing Squidward was there (taking him from his bedroom back to the ship), and the tormented trio bicker over who will get the last wish before the Flying Dutchman cuts in and decides to choose who gets it himself.
This is where Patchy comes in and presents the three endings of the episode and asks the kids at home to call in the number on the screen to make their choice. Before announcing the winner, he decides to first show the endings that didn't win. The first choice was Patrick wishing for a gum that never lost its flavor and thus they're eaten by the Dutchman and beg to be let out. The second choice was Squidward: he wished that he never met SpongeBob and Patrick so the Dutchman makes them forget their first meeting. They still greet each other in the Dutchman's belly. The third (and chosen ending) was SpongeBob's. He wishes the Dutchman was a vegetarian so he won't eat them. The Dutchman still ruins their wish by turning them into fruit and trying to make them into a smoothie. The cartoon ends with them being chased by the Dutchman in the blender.
The show then changes back to Patchy greeting the audience. After a random outburst of telling the kids it's time to walk the plank, he changes gears to reading fan mail. Potty shows up with a lit fuse to do a planned stunt that they canceled at the last minute (that Potty never learned about). Potty blows up like a bomb, and Patchy decides to end the episode there.
"Shanghaied" contains examples of:
- Acid-Trip Dimension: The "Fly of Despair" is full of freaky monsters and spaghetti and meatballs.
- Action Bomb: Potty becomes one in a trick gone wrong.
- And I Must Scream: In the alternate endings, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are still alive while in the Dutchman's stomach.
- Ash Face:
- Patchy after getting fired from a cannon, and later after Potty blows up.
- Squidward after the Dutchman zaps him.
- Bait-and-Switch:
- After the Dutchman tells them that the "crew for eternity" isn't working out, SpongeBob and Patrick think he's setting them free, but then he tells them he's going eat them.
- There's also SpongeBob's wish that the Dutchman is a vegetarian, so the latter won't eat them. See Loophole Abuse below.
- Balloon Belly: The Flying Dutchman gains one in the alternate endings where he eats SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward.
- Broken Record: "You're good! ...You're good! ...You're good!"
- Bullying a Dragon: Even after Squidward gets burned by the Flying Dutchman several times, he still has the bright idea of giving him lip when he threatens him, SpongeBob, and Patrick with their lives, which only ends him up on a scary trip through the Fly of Despair.
- Dirty Coward:
- When they're scouting for victims to haunt, the Flying Dutchman quickly redirects the telescope from the big tough guy that SpongeBob spots to a little kid.
- We are shown that if Squidward had gotten the last wish, he would've tried to use it to only save himself from being eaten by the Dutchman. It doesn't work.
- Do Not Taunt Cthulhu: Despite being zapped by the Flying Dutchman several times, Squidward still thinks he can get away with complaining to the Dutchman about being trapped on his ship and part of his crew. All he accomplishes is earning himself a trip to the "Fly of Despair".
- Downer Ending: Played for Laughs. No matter the wish, be it silly or smart, the gang still gets eaten by the Dutchman. Things don’t look any better with SpongeBob’s wish either.
- Dumbass Has a Point: Patrick is the one to point out that their conflict with the Dutchman isn't going anywhere when it escalates into a tug-of-war that threatens to tear his sock apart, and the Dutchman actually agrees.Patrick: It would seem we have reached an impasse.
Flying Dutchman: Pink one is right. - Eaten Alive: This literally happens in the alternate endings.
- Eldritch Location: The "Fly of Despair".
- Either/Or Title: The episode is called "As You Wish or Shanghaied" or "Patchy's Pick: Shanghaied".
- Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: The Dutchman does not take it well when SpongeBob accuses Squidward of calling the Dutchman's ship and mother dirty.
- Evil Is Hammy: As the ship sails above an unsuspecting town, the Flying Dutchman decides to harangue his crew, who are... enthusiastic but unskilled.Flying Dutchman: What a night be this. Crew! Howl with me, so that we might set the seven seas, ablaze with fear! AWOOOOOOO!!!!
SpongeBob: Naaaaaah!
Patrick: Leedle leedle leedle lee!
Flying Dutchman: AWOOOOOOO!!!!
SpongeBob: Nyeheheheh!
Patrick: Leedle leedle leedle lee!
Patrick: (whale noises)
(beat)
Patrick: (more whale noises)
(longer Beat)
Flying Dutchman: ...Ehhhhh, that'll do. - Evil Laugh: The Dutchman belts out one and the "Fly of Despair" has a mean one echoing through it.
- Exact Words: How the Dutchman screws over everyone in Squidward’s wish. This is also the result of Patrick wasting the first wish.
- Exorcist Head: During the montage of the Flying Dutchman scaring everyone, the Dutchman's head spins around and SpongeBob and Patrick attempt to do the same, but the scene cuts to the two of them ice skating.
- Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap!: After Squidward returns from his trip through the Fly of Despair, SpongeBob enthusiastically explains to him that he and Patrick were granted three wishes from the Flying Dutchman, that Patrick used the first one...and that he just used the second one.
- Extra-Long Episode: Originally the episode was a half-hour, but reruns reduce it to 16 minutes, five minutes longer than the regular standard episode. Without Patchy's skits, the episode is 13 minutes. It is long to the point its sister episode is only six minutes and 11 seconds.
- Eye Pop: When he and Patrick try to jump ship and end up landing back on board, SpongeBob's eyes literally pop out of his head.
- Four-Fingered Hands: Averted when the Dutchman counts to five.
- Gone Horribly Right: SpongeBob's wish for the Dutchman to become a vegetarian becomes reality, but then he takes advantage of this by turning the three into fruits, seemingly happy with his new vegetarian diet because, "fruit prevents scurvy."
- Hippie Van: The Flying Dutchman's ship gets turned into one (with a mast) after SpongeBob wishes the Dutchman was a vegetarian.
- Hong Kong Dub: Due to the original "You Wish" segments being edited into "Patchy's Pick" for reruns, several of Patchy's redubbed lines have different mouth movements.
- Idiotic Partner Confession: What makes the Dutchman burn Squidward. A lot.
- Impact Silhouette: SpongeBob and Patrick attempt to walk through a wall like the Flying Dutchman, but they just crash into it, leaving indentations shaped like themselves.
- Jackass Genie: Dutchman turns out to be this, as no matter what Squidward or SpongeBob had wished would happen, Dutchman would still bend their wish so he can eat them.
- Loophole Abuse: To prevent the Flying Dutchman from eating them, SpongeBob wishes he was a vegetarian. The Dutchman gets around this by turning them into fruits.
- Medium Blending: The perfume department scene and the Fly of Despair.
- Minion with an F in Evil: SpongeBob and Patrick are bad at being scary, to say the least.
- Mood Whiplash: Played for Laughs when Patchy returns after the show (or after the commercial break in the "You Wish" airing), going off-script before pulling himself back together.Patchy: Ahoy, children! I'm back! I hope all you boys and girls (got your votes in/enjoyed the show), because...it's time for you to walk the plank! (a time card reads "PLEASE STAND BY"; cut back to Patchy, looking sheepishly at the camera) Oh, heheheh, sorry kids! What I meant to say was, it's time to (announce the winner/open fan letters)!
- Multiple Endings: And none of them work in the gang's favor.
- In Patrick's ending, he wishes for gum, stating that if he, SpongeBob and Squidward are to be on the ship forever, they "might as well have fresh breath." They then get eaten by the Dutchman.
- In Squidward's ending, he wishes he'd never met SpongeBob and Patrick before in his entire life. This backfires, of course, as while he does get his wish, they're still on the Dutchman's ship. Not only do they get eaten, but Squidward is forced to bring SpongeBob and Patrick up to speed about their connections to him.
- And in SpongeBob's ending (the ending that won the vote), he wishes that the Dutchman was a vegetarian, so that he can't eat him, Patrick and Squidward. They then seem to have made it back home...but they've been turned into fruit by the Dutchman. The trio try to run away, but the Dutchman gives chase.
- Mundane Wish: Patrick's wish for learning about wishes earlier only turns the clock back 5 minutes and his forever-flavored gum wish wasn't a good choice because it does nothing to keep him and his friends from being eaten.
- New-Age Retro Hippie: The Flying Dutchman becomes one after SpongeBob wishes him into a vegetarian.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero:
- Patrick tried to haggle the Dutchman for more wishes, demanding five wishes in place of three. The Dutchman offers four and Patrick responds with "Three, take it or leave it!"
- Patrick and SpongeBob end up wasting two out of the three wishes the Dutchman gave them, which forced them and Squidward (who SpongeBob stupidly wished to return) to try and use the final wish to escape the Dutchman.
- Nightmare Retardant: In-Universe with SpongeBob and Patrick's extremely poor attempts at scaring.
- Oh, Crap!:
- The gang learning they're trapped on the boat.
- SpongeBob and Patrick scream in terror when the Flying Dutchman tells them that he's going to eat them.
- Patchy and Potty learning neither were clear on the exploding stunt.Patchy: Oh, Potty! That fuse in your head! I told you we're not doing that stunt!
Potty: Brawk, I didn't get the memo! Brawk!
- Only Sane Man: Surprisingly, the viewer-chosen ending with SpongeBob is the most serious and level-headed out of the three, as it shows SpongeBob making a really good choice for a wish to turn the Dutchman into a vegetarian. And despite the really funny Gainax Ending, SpongeBob's ending is the only one out of the three that does not end with the trio getting eaten.
- Perfumigation: Turns out, there is a way out of the holding cell after the Flying Dutchman locked the door. But it's through the Perfume Department. Cue SpongeBob and Patrick running through the department, attempting to avoid (and fail) the suffocating perfume sprays.
- Plot Hole: In the ending with SpongeBob's wish, Squidward warns SpongeBob that they're about to be eaten by the Dutchman, despite not being present with SpongeBob and Patrick when the Dutchman announced he's going to eat them. Then again, Squidward probably knew about the Flying Dutchman having an urban legend of eating incompetent lackeys prior to that. After all, Squidward does know more than SpongeBob and Patrick do.
- Running Gag: SpongeBob and Patrick try to park between a pair of rocks. Very poorly. Many times.SpongeBob: You're good... you're good... you're good...
- Selective Enforcement: As lampshaded by Squidward himself, the Flying Dutchman puts up with tons of obnoxious behavior from SpongeBob and Patrick and reacts with little more than snide remarks. Squidward however is punished violently just for taking the wrong tone with him. And then Squidward gets burnt for PATRICK'S answer. The two do finally meet the Flying Dutchman's limit in the end, though Squidward still gets punished with them.
- Shanghaied: What happens to SpongeBob and Patrick when they "join" the Dutchman's crew.
- Spoof Aesop: Annoying and/or enraging the Flying Dutchman would send the victim into the Fly of Despair. While it's meant to be a lesson towards choosing your fights carefully, rest assured that being sent into an alternate dimension will not happen in Real Life.
- Surrounded by Idiots: The Flying Dutchman feels this way about having SpongeBob and Patrick as his crew.Little boy: Those guys are dorks.
Flying Dutchman: Yes, but they're my dorks... - Take That!:
- The Flying Dutchman tells the trio that working as his crew will be, "grueling, mind-numbing, and repetitive. Just like... daytime television."
- After the cartoon, Patchy informs the audience that they're now "official, big time, cartoon decision maker[s]." Cut to stock footage of a group of monkeys playing various instruments.
- Three Wishes: The Flying Dutchman is forced to give these to SpongeBob and Patrick after stealing his dining sock. Patrick ends up using the first one, while SpongeBob uses the second one. All three then argue over who gets the third wish. In the original airing, viewers get to pick who gets the third wish, with the winning ending being shown in subsequent rebroadcasts and all home video and digital releases.
- SpongeBob wishes the Dutchman was a vegetarian. (winner)
- Squidward wishes he never knew SpongeBob and Patrick.
- Patrick wishes for bubble gum.
- Victory by Endurance: Reconstructed. Even after multiple scorchings, Squidward continuously lips the Flying Dutchman until he dumps him into the Fly of Despair. However the portal actually ends up sending Squidward back to his home, implying he managed to annoy the Flying Dutchman until he finally just let him go. Unfortunately, SpongeBob then wishes Squidward was with them...
- Wasteful Wishing:
- Patrick had to waste his wish on wishing he knew about the fact he had wishes earlier. SpongeBob shoots him a dirty look for this.
- The alternate scenario of what if Patrick got the third wish? He'd wish for gum. Our heroes get eaten. Good thing the kids didn't pick him.
- Wishplosion: Attempted by SpongeBob, where he wishes the Dutchman was a vegetarian. Unfortunately the Dutchman just turns them into fruit.
- Wrap Around Background: No matter how many times SpongeBob and Patrick jumped off, they kept landing back on the Flying Dutchman's ship.
- Yank the Dog's Chain: Squidward manages to return home after falling through the Fly of Despair, only to end up back on the ship due to SpongeBob wishing for him to be with them.
- You Have Failed Me: Because SpongeBob and Patrick aren't intimidating enough to help the Dutchman scare people, he decides to eat them for dinner.
- Your Mom: SpongeBob accidentally tells the Flying Dutchman that Squidward insulted his ship, he says that "insulting a man's ship, be worse than insulting his mother." SpongeBob then says that Squidward insulted his mother instead. It ends in Squidward getting incinerated.
Gary Takes a Bath
Original air date: 6/17/2002 (produced in 2000; first aired in Canada on 12/6/01)note
After SpongeBob's ending was chosen as the winner in the original airings of the previous episode, this six and a half minute short follows it to fill in for time in all future airings. The other two endings were removed and the Patchy segments were re-edited to remove all references to the contest.
It's Gary's bath time, but he refuses to budge when SpongeBob tries to muscle him in. SpongeBob tries several different tricks, such as using a boomerang pet ball as bait (which really works... and so does the box), to strapping a bomb to his chest that will explode if his pet doesn't get in the bath (which it does), to assaulting Gary's mind with not-so-subliminal messages. His next trick is calling a fancy French restaurant as a threat, but finds that he can't understand the receptionist. SpongeBob's next trick is playing leapfrog to launch Gary into the tub, but only succeeds in launching him into the wall. When he tries to do it again to a bandaged Gary, he gets a bonk to the head with a cane. SpongeBob tries to bribe Gary with a dollar, but Mr. Krabs drives in with his tub to snag it, and SpongeBob's fake pirate map plan ends with him sitting in the tub after falling from the ceiling a floor up. He decides to take matters into his own pores by sucking up all the water and spraying Gary with extreme prejudice. Gary winds up stuck in a tree and SpongeBob sprays him. But it turns out to be a trick allowing Gary to strand SpongeBob in the tree. SpongeBob loses his balance and falls in the mud below. The episode ends with Gary having the last laugh as SpongeBob gets a bath.
"Gary Takes a Bath" contains examples of:
- Action Bomb: That bomb Sponge strapped to himself wasn't that good of an idea after all.
- All for Nothing: In the end, not only does Gary not take a bath, but SpongeBob himself ends up having to take a bath after falling into a mud puddle.
- Beyond the Impossible: When SpongeBob tried to throw him into the tub, Gary somehow stayed floating over the tub without falling in before popping back onto the ground.
- Black Comedy: SpongeBob pretends to hold himself hostage just so Gary will take a bath!
- Boomerang Comeback: The boomerang pet ball wasn't lying. And neither was the box.
- Bottle Episode: Only one voice actor, two characters (plus one cameo), and little change in location as it takes place largely in SpongeBob's house.
- Bribe Backfire: SpongeBob tries to bribe Gary with a $1 bill to take a bath, but because he said it's for, "the next fella to take a bath in this house," Mr. Krabs causes it to fail by snagging the dollar while in a bathtub.
- Butt-Monkey: SpongeBob goes through a lot of pain and humiliation trying to get Gary to take a bath, and in the end he doesn't even succeed!
- Cats Hate Water: Which is why Gary refuses to bathe. Snails are the equivalent to cats on this show.
- Cat Up a Tree: What Gary makes SpongeBob think he is.
- Comically Missing the Point:
- SpongeBob calls a fancy French restaurant to scare Gary into taking a bath, but seems to have forgotten that it's specifically a French restaurant.SpongeBob: Slow down! It's like you're speaking some other language!
- After SpongeBob sprays the decoy Gary record player.SpongeBob: Oh, no! I bathed Gary too hard, and removed his skin!
- SpongeBob calls a fancy French restaurant to scare Gary into taking a bath, but seems to have forgotten that it's specifically a French restaurant.
- Counting to Three: After Gary traps SpongeBob in a tree, SpongeBob reaches his breaking point due to Gary's defiance. Gary then crawls towards a mud puddle, and SpongeBob threatens to count to three if Gary doesn't get away from it. The closer SpongeBob gets to three (even counting to two and a half), the closer Gary gets to the puddle as an act of defiance.
- Didn't Think This Through: SpongeBob was so confident that strapping a bomb to his chest would convince Gary to take a bath, that he didn't think to not have it actually be activated as a bluff. Of course, it is activated, and Gary shows No Sympathy to the attempt, so SpongeBob realizes he's screwed.SpongeBob: ...Pleeaase? (blows up)
- Dope Slap: Gary bonks SpongeBob on the head with a cane when he tries to trick him into playing leapfrog again, after the previous attempt got the snail injured.
- Downer Ending: After doing everything possible to try to bathe Gary, SpongeBob ends up being the one forced to take a bath after falling into a giant puddle of mud, while Gary doesn't take a bath at all.
- Forced Bath: What SpongeBob tries to give Gary.
- Hates Baths: Gary, of course.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: SpongeBob ends up being the one taking a bath in the end.
- Hurricane of Puns: When SpongeBob tries to spray Gary he lets out a number of groan-inducing puns such as, "Come back, Gary! I have something to chair with you," when he sprays his life preserver chair and, "Dish is more like it," when he cleans the dishes by accident. Then, when Gary runs out of the house, he retorts, "Water you waiting for, Gary?!", and once he follows what he thinks is Gary up to the top of a tree, he finishes with, "It's time to clean up your act, Gary."
- Implied Death Threat: One attempt at getting Gary to take a bath has SpongeBob call a fancy French restaurant, saying that he's got a naughty snail that doesn't want to take a bath. This comes with the implication that he is willing to turn Gary into escargot if he doesn’t take a bath.
- Karma Houdini: Gary does not take a bath, nor is he punished for putting SpongeBob through hell. SpongeBob, on the other hand...
- Laser-Guided Karma: After everything SpongeBob does to try to force Gary into the bathtub, he ends up falling into the mud, forcing him to get a bath instead.
- Loophole Abuse: At one point, SpongeBob tempts Gary with money in order to get him in the tub, saying he's, "got a crisp dollar bill for the next fella to take a bath in this house." Almost immediately, Mr. Krabs shows up in a bathtub, takes the dollar, and leaves, puzzling SpongeBob.
- Minimalist Cast: SpongeBob and Gary are the only characters in this episode. Mr. Krabs makes a cameo, but that's it.
- Mocking Sing-Song: Gary meows at SpongeBob in this fashion whilst taking the ladder away from him.
- Never Trust a Title: Despite what it says, it's not Gary who ends up taking a bath.
- Nightmare Face: The goofy-looking girl who appears among SpongeBob's "subliminal messages". Fittingly, he's just as disturbed by that unintentional image as the audience is.
- Oh, Crap!:
- Gary's pupils widen when SpongeBob announces it's bath time. He later gets visibly alarmed when SpongeBob is about to douse him in water.
- SpongeBob freaks out when he sees just how high up he is.
- Prison Rape: The "Don't drop the soap" line.
- Rage Breaking Point: Exasperated by his pet's constant refusal to take a bath, SpongeBob resorts to sucking up the bathwater with the intention of spraying Gary with it.SpongeBob: Alright, Gary! You have duped and/or frustrated me for the last time!
- Repeating So the Audience Can Hear: This happens a few times since SpongeBob and Gary (who only communicates through meowing) are the only two leads in this episode.
- When SpongeBob is pretending the bathtub is a treasure chest:SpongeBob: (holding a rubber duck) Look at this brooch!
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: I don't know what a snail would want with a brooch! Now, why don't you just get in the tub?! - Later:SpongeBob: You are going to take a bath and you are going to get clean right now!
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: I am so the boss of you!
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: It may be a free country, but you live under my house under my rules.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Don't use that tone of voice with me. You will do what I say, when I say!
- When SpongeBob is pretending the bathtub is a treasure chest:
- Repetitive Audio Glitch: SpongeBob thinks Gary is stuck in a tree and attempts to bathe him at the top of the tree, only to find that it is just a record player playing a scratchy record of Gary's meows.
- Unexplained Recovery: One of SpongeBob's attempts to give Gary a bath involves stupidly placing a bomb onto himself, with the threat of it exploding lest he takes a bath. Needless to say, Gary doesn't take one and SpongeBob completely blows up, yet shows up perfectly in one piece in the next scene as if absolutely nothing happened.
