What a special time and a special day, it's Woodland Critter Christmas! note
Original air date: 12/15/2004
Stan helps a group of seemingly innocent woodland critters build a manger for their savior, only to find out they're Satan worshippers.
This episode contains examples of:
- Armor-Piercing Question: After the mountain lion dies, Stan thinks his ordeal is over. Then he sees the lion cubs, one of whom asks, "Mommy?" Stan subsequently feels horrible.
- Ascended to Carnivorism: Deery, Beavery and Porcupiney are all herbivores, but that doesn't stop them eating Rabbity's flesh.
- Affably Evil: The Woodland Critters, even as Stan and Santa try to stop them, are still the chipper, carefree, devil-worshipping animals from the forest.
- An Ass-Kicking Christmas: The Woodland Critters are going to birth the Anti-Christ? Not if Santa and his 12-gauge have anything to say about it.
- Animalistic Abomination: The Antichrist takes the form of a snarling, hairless rat-like critter. Which makes sense, as it was birthed by a porcupine.
- Badass Santa: Santa gets a gun and shoots the Satanic critters dead.
- Bait-and-Switch: Kyle assumes the story is going to end with Santa killing him with the Anti-Christ in his body to save Christmas. Cartman tells him that's not the ending and he's telling the truth. The lion cubs actually remove the Anti-Christ from Kyle and Santa then kills it. However, Kyle still dies at the end from AIDS.
- Bestiality Is Depraved: The animals getting impregnated is meant to foreshadow that their savior isn't exactly a wholesome figure.Stan: Anti-Christ?! You said she was giving birth to your Savior!
Squirrely: Yes, to the son of our lord, Satan, the Prince of Darkness.
Stan: But I thought you meant the Son of God!
Deery: Well, think about it. You really think God would have sex with a porcupine?
Chickadee-y: No way! Only Satan, Prince of Darkness and King of all Evil would do that! Yay! - Big "YES!": Kyle when becoming the host to the Anti-Christ. It's during this gloating that the real Kyle interrupts, revealing this to be Cartman's story.
- Bittersweet Ending: Played for Laughs. The Woodland Critters and the Anti-Christ are killed, and the residents of South Park all had a Merry Christmas. But Kyle ends up dying from AIDS two weeks later.Kyle: Goddammit, Cartman!
- Bloody Hilarious: Santa's aforementioned asskicking he unloads on the Woodland Critters, capped off by him taking the snarling, babbling fetal Anti-Christ and smashing it to paste with a sledgehammer.
- Boom, Headshot!: Santa kills some of the Woodland Critters by shooting them cold in the head.
- But Thou Must!: Stan wants absolutely nothing to do with the story but is forced to do it anyway by the narrator (who happens to be Cartman in a disguised voice). Ironically, the real Stan, who is being told the story along with the rest of the class, is curious about what he's hearing and how it ends.
- Chekhov's Skill: Double subverted. The lion cubs learn how to perform abortions, only to arrive at the manger after the Anti-Christ is born, so it appears this skill will not be used at all. Santa seems to reinforce this by noting how the Anti-Christ can't survive without a human host. After Kyle agrees to become a host and just as quickly changes his mind, Santa is prepared to shoot him dead, but the lion cubs point out they know how to help and perform the abortion.
- Continuity Nod: Stan finally got his own "Christmas adventure".
- Christmas Episode: A gruesome parody of wholesome Christmas tales, including the nativity. Ultimately the last one South Park did before taking a long hiatus from holiday-related episodes.
- Cruel and Unusual Death:
- Rabbity the Rabbit gets disemboweled by the Woodland Critters as a part of their "blood orgy".
- Kyle dies of AIDS at the end of the story.
- Dirty Coward: The Critters scream and run when Santa shoots Beaverie in the head after they boast about how their saviour was going to cover the forest in darkness (and after Raccooney had gleefully suggested to the others that they eat Santa's flesh). Squirreley is the only one that attempts to fight back against Santa but his fire seems to have no effect on the latter.
- The Dreaded: The mountain lion is the only thing the Woodland Critters are afraid of. They never even attempt to use their powers on her (maybe she's immune?).
- Dropped a Bridge on Him: Cartman ends his story by having Kyle die of AIDS, to which Kyle angrily replies with "Goddammit, Cartman!"
- Exact Words: Cartman tells Kyle that the story doesn't end with him getting killed by Santa Claus. It ends with him dying from AIDS.Kyle: Goddammit, Cartman!
- Flat "What":
- Stan's reaction to the narrator saying he is going to take the cubs to the abortion clinic.
- Santa's reaction to Stan saying the lion cubs know how to perform an abortion.
- Foreshadowing: Even early on in the story, the Christmas critters seemed a little...off. They described very serious things, such as the possibility of the mountain lion eating the baby or Stan being killed, in the exact same chipper tone that they always have.
- The Ghost: Despite Satan being both an established character and mentioned prominently throughout the episode, he never actually appears in-person. This makes some sense, as even leaving aside the fact that it's a story being told in-universe by Cartman, Satan's long-established Sissy Villain characterization wouldn't mesh very well with this story's events.
- Gilligan Cut: Invoked by the narrator. Upon learning he's supposed to take the cubs to an abortion clinic, Stan immediately tries to refuse and begins arguing with the narrator. The narrator gets the final say by just cutting to Stan appearing at the clinic with the cubs in tow, much to his frustration.
- Glowing Eyes of Doom: Whenever the Woodland Critters use their powers, their eyes glow red.
- Good Is Not Nice: The mountain lion is the Big Good, but she attacks Stan when he confronts her instead of trying to explain things to him (she can talk; she does briefly when Santa revives her). It's possible she mistook him as a servant of Satan and was protecting her cubs, but everything prior to the reveal makes her appear exclusively intimidating. Also, Santa, who talks very harshly towards Stan and was willing to kill Kyle, even after the later showed regret towards allowing the Anti-Christ to possess him.
- Got Volunteered: The Christmas Critters drag Stan into helping with their Satanic ceremony. When it's revealed what they're up to, he then gets forcibly dragged along the story by the narrator.
- Happily Ever After: Cartman ends his story with this line: "And they all lived Happily Ever After, except for Kyle who died of AIDS two weeks later".
- Hemo Erotic: Blood orgy, anyone?
- Hyperspace Mallet: After the abortion is performed, this is how Santa finishes the Anti-Christ.
- Interactive Narrator: The narrator is pretty much Railroading Stan into taking part in the plot, outright arguing with Stan when he wants to stay home.
- It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time: After Kyle absorbs the Anti-Christ, he realizes how painful it is to be possessed.Kyle: Oh God it burns! My soul is on fire! Oh, I don't like this! I didn't know it would feel so... dark and evil!Stan: Well, what did you expect, dude? It's the son of the devil!
- Kafka Comedy: The entirety of Stan's role throughout the story is getting caught in the middle of a Satanic plot, being The Drag-Along to the villains, then the heroes, and even the narrator.
- Killed Offscreen: We don't see Mousey or Chickadee-y get shot on-screen, but we do see their corpses later on, so he know they were killed.
- Killer Rabbit: The Woodland Critters are cute animals who celebrate Christmas... by engendering the Anti-Christ and having orgies in the blood of a comrade (who funnily happens to be the rabbit) they sacrificed to Satan as a celebration.
- Know When to Fold 'Em: Mr. Garrison honestly doesn't care about the content of Cartman's story or Kyle's objection, but he'll put a stop to this just so that he doesn't have to listen to another angry phone call from Kyle's mother.
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Stan eventually grows tired of the narrator trying to get him to do things to move the plot along and tells him to leave him alone.
- Ludicrous Gibs: Santa blows Squirrely into explosive chunks of gore.
- Metaphorically True: When the other kids tell Kyle they want to hear how the story ends, Kyle claims that Cartman's story will obviously end with Kyle being killed by Santa to destroy the anti-Christ and save Christmas. Cartman tells him that's not how it ends and he's telling the truth. The story ends with the anti-Christ being removed from Kyle's body and then destroyed... but Kyle then dies from AIDS two weeks later.
- Monster Is a Mommy: Stan finds out that not only was the mountain lion the Big Good in this scenario, but she also had three cubs who pull a Please Wake Up after he kills her.
- Muggles Do It Better: Apparently Satanic powers are no match for a good shotgun.
- My God, What Have I Done?: After seeing the three cubs react to their mother's death and ask him why he did this, Stan can only mutter "Ah... ah!" in a disappointed tone. Between that and learning the Woodland Critters' true nature, Stan holes up in his room and facepalms.
- Narrator All Along: Just as Kyle is about to allow the Anti-Christ to possess him, the episode cuts to Mr. Garrison's class where it's revealed the entire episode has actually been a story Cartman wrote and was reading to the class for an assignment.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Stan kills the Mountain Lion who was going to kill the Anti-Christ.
- No-Sell: It is safe to assume that the Mountain Lion is immune to the Critters satanic powers, otherwise they would have killed her themselves instead of sending Stan. Santa is later shown to be immune as well, when Squirrely fails to kill him.
- No Sympathy: Santa berates Stan for helping the woodland critters even after Stan tells him that he was tricked, calling him stupid.Santa Claus: Little boy, you should be ashamed!Stan: But I didn't mean to help them! I tried to stop them!Santa: Well good going, stupid! There's only one way to stop Devil-worshipping critters! (Santa pulls out a 12-gauge shotgun and shoots Beavery in the face)
- Not So Above It All: When the real Kyle makes Cartman stop telling the story, Stan and the rest of the class protest because they want to hear whether Stan gets a happy ending or not.
- One-Handed Shotgun Pump: Santa does this before killing the critters and again when he's about to shoot Kyle.
- Person with the Clothing: The narrator constantly refers to Stan as "the boy in the red poofball hat."
- Rage Against the Author: Stan intentionally disregards the narrator throughout the majority of the episode. Doing so ultimately results in a shouting match, culminating in Stan screaming at the narrator. The narrator of this story is in fact, Eric Cartman telling a story to the class, which puts a whole new spin on things. In the classroom, it's Kyle who rages against the author, as he regards it as a basically anti-Semitic tract. After it's revealed that Cartman is the author of the story, the rest of Stan's lines are in character, seeing as how the story is now proceeding the way Cartman wrote it now that we know the whole truth about this.
- Recycled Soundtrack: During the opening and closing scenes, some of the score from the Clone High episode "Snowflake Day: A Very Special Holiday Episode" can be heard, which was also scored by Jamie Dunlap and Scott Nickoley (who they took over from Adam Berry as the main composers of South Park since season 5).
- Red Eyes, Take Warning: Kyle when he becomes a host for the Anti-Christ.
- Resigned to the Call: After learning the truth about the Woodland Critters and the lion, Stan tries to forget about all this and just watch TV, but the narrator just keeps bothering him. A frustrated Stan finally just submits and goes back to the forest.
- Revenge via Storytelling: The plot is revealed to be a story Cartman is telling. This explains why the story's version of Kyle, who has a long-established beef with Cartman, willingly absorbs the Antichrist into his body in order to take over the world for the Jews. Kyle calls Cartman out on just using the story to once again mock Kyle for being Jewish. Everybody at the end of the story is allowed a happy ending except for Kyle, who dies of AIDS.
- Rhyming Episode: Everything the narrator says is spoken in rhyme, with the Critters occasionally speaking or singing in rhyme as well.
- Shout-Out: When Stan tries to pass on the rest of the adventure by watching TV, the theme song to The Jeffersons can be heard.
- Theme Naming: The Woodland Critters are all unimaginatively named after their species with a "Y" on the end (Squirrely, Porcupiney, Chickadee-y, et cetera). After all, the creator of these critters is Eric Cartman.
- Throw the Dog a Bone: After being dragged into one hell of a Kafka Comedy with Satanic Funny Animals, Stan gets to undo the Mountain Lion's death and have a Merry Christmas. Kyle on the other hand...
- Unusually Uninteresting Sight: As part of the story, the doctor at the abortion clinic isn't remotely surprised by the sudden appearance of a boy and three lion cubs, and he's happy to show them how to perform abortions.
- Unwitting Pawn: Stan, during the episode's first act, wants little to nothing to do with the critters, but gets guilted and railroaded into it. He ends up greatly regretting this once he learns the truth of their nature.
- Wham Line:
- "Now our Critter Christmas can finally happen! Hail Satan!" From that point on, the story shifts from a seemingly wholesome nativity story to a horrifying bloody Satanic ritual, and Stan goes from helping the Woodland Critters to desperately trying to stop them.
- Just as Kyle willingly absorbs the Antichrist and declares he will make the world better for the Jews:
Kyle: (offscreen) Oh stop it, Cartman! Just stop it! That's enough! You aren't reading another sentence of your stupid story! - Wham Shot: After an epic fight with the Mountain Lion, Stan celebrates his victory... only to see the cubs coming out of the mountain and surprising their mother lying on the ground. This is the point where the nativity story takes a darker turn, as Stan starts questioning the legitimity of his actions.
- Would Hurt a Child:
- Both the Christmas Critters and the Mountain Lion will gladly maim or try to kill Stan at the first sign of interference. Comes with a heavy case of Not Helping Your Case with the Mountain Lion, who is actually the Big Good.
- Santa was willing to kill Kyle after he was possessed by the Anti-christ.
- You Are Too Late: Stan and the lion cubs arrive at the manger, only to find that the Anti-Christ has been born already. The narrator says they were simply too late, and a frustrated Stan bemoans this turn of events. Luckily, Santa shows up to offer his unique solution to this problem.
- You Wouldn't Shoot Me: Invoked when Beary coyishly tries to avoid getting shot like the other critters. Turns out Santa would.Beary: Gee whiz, Santa. You're not gonna kill me, are y—? [Santa blows his head off]
