Turkey Shoot
Stevie walks to David and Alexis’s room, and David opens the door. He asks her not to judge him for what he’s going to ask her. She comes into the room, he shows her a bug trapped under a glass. He explains he has an irrational fear of bugs with milky exoskeletons because he thinks they will crawl into his mouth and nest while he’s sleeping. She asks if he wants her to kill it, and he replies he just needs moral support while he slips a piece of paper under it and walks it outside. She says they could just kill it and lifts the glass. They both react as it flees, and she shrugs and says she doesn’t even need to be here. He freaks out and says he can’t sleep there. She replies not with his mouth open. They banter more and she leaves, cheerfully saying she hopes he catches it.
Moira is in the shower, and she can’t find her towel. She shouts for Johnny, who is outside talking to Jocelyn. She is telling Johnny about a student who was “pitching a tent” for her during class, saying it can’t be easy having a teacher like her. A soaking wet Moira appears wearing a shirt of Johnny’s on her head and a jacket of his around her body. Jocelyn says she brought a pan of Nanaimo Bars because she accidentally doubled the recipe and Roland is on diabetes watch. Johnny thanks her while Moira ignores her and asks for a clean towel. He replies the one on her door is clean, except for the fact that he used it to kill a bug. She screams, and then apologizes for being stressed. Jocelyn kindly says she knows a place to unwind and get pampered in Elmdale, and Moira snootily replies let’s not and say we did. Johnny encourages her to go, saying it would help her get rid of the weight she’s carrying. She huffs that now she’s fat and stressed. He claims he meant emotional weight, and she threatens to strip off her clothes and air dry in the street if she doesn’t get a clean towel. Jocelyn tries to take the Nanaimo Bars, but Moira says she wants them and takes them inside. Johnny politely says a de-stressor would be good.
At the cafe, Alexis asks what is in the Meadow Harvest smoothie. Twyla replies it depend on her mood, but it’s all organic and earthy ingredients. Alexis tries to tease out what Meadow Harvest means, with little success. Alexis orders it anyway. Ted comes up behind her and introduces himself. He warns her that the smoothie is deadly, and will “run through her like Niagara Falls.” They chat and she seems interested that his is veterinary because it’s basically the same thing as a doctor. He says seen her around and she’s the prettiest girl the town has ever seen. She takes the compliment and he asks her out. Twyla brings the smoothie. Alexis politely takes it, and then she takes a sip. She spits it back into the cup where only Ted can see and mouths “OMG!”
David comes to the front desk, and he wants to talk about the bug. She says it’s okay, he has a thing about bugs. He replies it was one bug and it was milky. She teases that he must be at one with nature. He agrees, saying he does Coachella every year. She then asks if he wants to come to Roland’s annual Turkey shoot, which she’s been doing since she was way too young to be holding a gun. He agrees, reluctantly. Stevie says she was joking, and they banter about what his “thing” would be. He is miffed and insists he wants to go. He asks if it is a tweed or cam-o situation.
Johnny and Moira struggle to make the bed. Jocelyn arrives and offers to take Moira to the salon for a manicure on her. Moira wants to see a menu of services, and Jocelyn explains that it’s a salon not a spa. Even though it’s clear it’s not what she’s used to Moira agrees to go.
At community service, Mutt and Alexis varnish a fence, and she asks him what he’s doing that night. He replies he might make chili and do laundry. He does not ask her what she’s doing, and she says it would be polite if he did. He smiles and says so that’s what this is about and asks. She tells him Ted is taking her out. Mutt says they went to high school together, and he thinks they’d be good together. He has everything she wants in a husband, which is money.
Alexis tells David she’s going on a date with Ted to Elmdale. He asks if she’s sure she wants to go so far out of town with a guy she just met. She replies she want on a first date to Bali with Leo, so she’ll be fine. David asks about her date, and she replies he’s cute and doesn’t have a trust fund. David asks about the “beardy” thing she spends time with. She insists that’s not a thing. They hear Johnny and Moira talking to Ted. She’s mortified, and David is delighted because he knows how much she loves it when they interrogate her boyfriends.
In the next room, a nicely dressed Ted is holding flowers and Johnny is asking if his parents are still together. He replies they divorced when he was in high school. Moira asks if it was alcoholism, and he said no they were just better as friends. Alexis comes in and tries to leave with Ted, who sees David. Ted recognizes David from the panic attack, and David tries to change the subject. Alexis says she’ll see them in the morning, and Johnny thinks it’s a joke and then tells Ted not on the first date. They leave, and David tells Johnny he’s going hunting in the morning. Johnny is surprised.
It’s still dark when David’s alarm rings, and Johnny comes to tell him to turn it off and that he’s not comfortable with David hunting. David says he’s not comfortable, and Alexis, in a pink sleep mask, says end this now. Johnny tells David to be careful.
David is putting camouflage overalls on as Ronnie asks him if he has ever killed before. He says no, but Elton John used to have a hunt at his place in Windsor which was more about the lunch. Ronnie shouts “Turkey Virgin!” and Stevie smiles. David asks if his overalls come in a slimmer cut, and Stevie gives him a gun with the scope. Bob then leads a prayer.
At community service, Alexis asks if a kiss on the cheek was normal for a first date. He teases her, and she says it was a special date because she introduced him to Beyoncé in the car. Mutt suggestively says that if a date is successful with him, he’ll let her know. Ted pulls up in a car with a real smoothie for Alexis, and she kisses him to make Mutt jealous.
Roland is razzing David about being an “indoors” type. David kneels with the gun, and Ronnie asks if he’s held one before. He replies the one at Elton’s was so light he thinks it might be a toy. Ronnie instructs him to hold the gun like a newborn baby. She also says babies are not her thing so she just guesses. Stevie tells David he doesn’t have to do this, but he claims he’s having fun.
At the cafe, Johnny is alone but then Jocelyn and Moira arrive, with identical haircuts. Jocelyn sits down, and Moira approaches Johnny and role-plays like a small town woman. Jocelyn gives Johnny a thumbs up, and Moira explains that everyone who comes out of that salon looks like Jocelyn. It’s a wig, but Moira says she’s too polite to rip it off her head because Jocelyn paid for it. Jocelyn approaches, and Johnny and Moira pretend they love the hair but she accidentally calls it sad. Jocelyn is slightly offended so they order drinks.
Roland tells David to aim for the head, and he says it’s looking at him. There is banter, and David finally fires. Roland says “in the neck.” David realizes its still moving, and Ronnie advises to let it bleed out. She also tells him the first one’s tough, and he replies he feels like a Manson girl. David asks if we just wait until it’s turkey family comes, and shoot them. Bob says he can hear them. David is upset.
Jocelyn knocks on the door and Moira answers. Moira tries to pretend she likes the hair, but Jocelyn wisely knows Moira hates it. She tells Moira that one day she might have to get used to places like the salon or The Blouse Barn. Moira says - sincerely - she doesn’t hate the town, it just isn’t hers. The hair is not her style, but it looks adorable on Jocelyn. She says Jocelyn knows who she is, and she doesn’t know who she is one from one moment to the next. She says she envies Jocelyn, but that if she ever catches her shopping at The Blouse Barn, please shoot me. Jocelyn promises, and Moira says her son is hunting with her husband so she knows “you people” have guns.
David and Stevie, still in camo, are in his room. He’s asking why she wants to do that year after year. She says it’s usually more fun because Ray gets drunk. Moira comes in wanting a towel, and David says she reminds him of someone. Stevie asks if she went to Janine’s Salon, and Moira replies Jocelyn took her. David realizes she looks like Jocelyn. Moira asks what is David’s excuse, and they banter. He offers to get her a towel.
Snarkiest Person in Schitt’s Creek: David Rose
Tropes that Appear in This Episode
- Absurd Phobia: David’s fear of insects kicks up
- Ambiguously Gay: David’s flamboyance is amped up in this episode, and he used to attend a hunt at Elton’s.
- Blasé Boast: Jocelyn gives one to Johnny, saying one of her students was "pitching a tent" for her during class, but she sympathizes since she thinks it can't be easy having a "teacher like her".
- Character Development: Moira is actually quite kind to Jocelyn at the end, and she explains why she’s upset very articulately. Jocelyn, in turn, shows compassion for Moira.
- Foreshadowing: The Blouse Barn becomes central to a major Season 2 storyline.
- Friendship Moment: Stevie smiles and says she can't remember what life was like before she knew David.
- Gag Haircut: As happens in areas where there are only one or two stylists, Moira winds up with Jocelyn’s hairstyle.
- Manly Men Can Hunt: David is clearly the least masculine person on the hunt, and that includes Ronnie and Stevie, everyone knows it.
- Moose and Maple Syrup: Jocelyn brings Johnny and Moira a pan of Nanaimo Bars, a Canadian brownie-like treat. Although the show is oblique about Schitt’s Creek’s exact locations, this is one of the many hints that the town is in rural Canada.
- History with Celebrity: Alexis dated Leonardo DiCaprio, and David used to get invited to Elton John's parties.
- Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy: Stevie and David’s friendship starts to take shape as this dynamic.
- Operation: Jealousy: The main reason Alexis agreed to go out with Ted was to make Mutt jealous.
- Unresolved Sexual Tension: There is still plenty of this between Mutt and Alexis.
