"Can't Fix Crazy" is the thirteenth episode and season finale of season one of Orange Is the New Black.
The inmates prepare for the annual Christmas pageant, supervised by Sophia and Sister Ingalls. After Larry proposed a Shotgun Wedding at the end of the previous episode, Piper accepts, and tries to obtain a marriage permission form; but she needs Healy's permission to do so, and needless to say, he's not interested. After the drug bust spearheaded by Bennett, Caputo removes Red from control of the kitchens; Red resorts to sabotage of an oven, but the plan backfires, causing collateral damage. Pennsatucky continues her vendetta against Piper, leading to a violent confrontation.
This episode provides examples of the following tropes:
- Amazing Freaking Grace: Poussey.
- Bad "Bad Acting": The acting in the nativity scene is quite...wooden.
- Book Ends: The first scene of the series is Chapman in the shower, with Taystee appraising her clear New Meat status. This episode has one too, but this time Chapman is one of them, and Taystee is doing what she can to protect her.
- Chekhov's Gun: In the first episode, razor blades melted into toothbrushes are shown to the inmates; in the finale, we see Pennsatucky's. In response, Boo returns the screwdriver from "Imaginary Enemies" to Piper for her protection.
- A throwaway line becomes a minor Pennsatucky plot point in Season 2: "What can Pennsatucky use?" (All together) "New teeth!"
- Chekhov's Skill: A kick to the crotch and an elbow in the back become Piper's assault method later during her fight with Pennsatucky.
- Darkest Hour: Chapman's. To get Larry, she has to give up Alex, and Alex exiles her from her life. Then Pennsatucky starts going after her, and the other inmates won't help (This Is Something Hes Gotto Do Himself; besides, In the End, You Are on Your Own). Then Larry dumps her. And the C.O.s stand by without intervening. By the end of the episode, it's Piper Chapman alone against the world.
- Death Glare: Red has one.Squirrel: She gave me that look that makes my ass leak.
Nicky: I am familiar with that look. - Friends with Benefits: Nicky and Alex become this for a one-time hookup after not receiving any love from their exes Piper and Morello.
- Get Out!: Alex and Nicky tell this to Piper after being rejected by her for her fiancee Larry and Piper wants Alex back after Larry breaks up with her.
- Gilligan Cut: It's made clear that Red's underlings have no chance of successful sabotage before being caught.Red: You need to fuck with that kitchen.
[cut to:]
Gloria: You fuck with this kitchen, I'll have you out of here so fast you'll think your ass is wheels. - Ironic Echo: Healy repeats Piper's own words to her. "Go fuck yourself."
- Mail-Order Bride: Fig refers to Healy's wife as this.
- Prisoner Performance: The episode centers on the Christmas pageant. It has the characters sing Christmas songs and also perform a Nativity pageant.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Alex delivers one to Piper as she's heartbroken over Piper choosing Larry over her.Alex: Piper...fuck you. Listen... Yes. You have made a decision. So here is what it means going forward. You may not come running to me again. Not with your problems. Not with your love. Not with your need or sadness or anger or even your laundry when it's not specifically your laundry day. You may never come to me again. Ever.
- Sex Goddess: Both Alex and Larry admit to Piper being really good in bed a couple of times.
- Secret Santa: Mostly played straight, although Boo finds out that Morello is her secret Santa.
- Scenery Censor: Though it's obvious to the audience what she's doing, Nicky blocks the view with her poster to keep the prison guards from seeing her move her hand down Alex's pants.
- Situational Sexuality: Alex and Nicky hook up when they are no longer receiving love from Piper and Morello.
- Shotgun Wedding: Zigzagged. After Chapman can't get the marriage licence from Healy, she goes over his head to Fig, who is happy to establish an arrangement with her. But then Larry breaks it off with her.
- Soundtrack Dissonance: "Come All Ye Faithful" plays through to the end credits as Piper beats up Pennsatucky.
- Suddenly Voiced: Norma. And it's
amazing. - Stylistic Suck: The pageant is a case study in this trope, as well as Bad "Bad Acting".
-
The Cast Showoff: The cast members are given their chance to perform in other ways. Boo (whose actress is an accomplished jazz singer) sings a jazzy ditty. Black Cindy demonstrates some impressive beatboxing, and Taystee sings "Go Tell it on the Mountain." Inverted with Hollywood Tone-Deaf Morello and the rather unsuccessful dance numbers. - The Missus and the Ex: Larry talking to Alex.
- Threshold Guardians: Pennsatucky serves as Chapman's, summarizing Piper's Character Development over the first season and officially marking her Start of Darkness.
- Violence Really Is the Answer: The only way for Piper to deal with Pennsatucky's threat is to respond with a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown.
