The Tony Angelino episode. First broadcast 13 January 1991.
Raquel is now three months pregnant, and Del has another get-rich-quick scheme involving the Starlight Rooms, managed by an old friend, Eric, who's looking for a new singing act for a one-off performance. Del reckons that Raquel's previous experience as a singer makes her perfect for the job, although she'll need a partner as Eric wants a double act. Del's also due in court, on a charge of unlicensed trading down the market.
Looking for a male singer to partner Raquel, Del and Rodney go to the Down by the Riverside Club to check out Tony Angelino, a.k.a. "The Singing Dustman". He's actually pretty good, and Del thinks he'll be the ideal singing partner for Raquel. Tony agrees to do the performance, but warns Del that he can only sing certain songs, although Del refuses to listen to him.
The next day at the Nag's Head, Del learns that the Starlight Rooms are owned by a vicious local gangster called Eugene McCarthy, who has been known to nail people to doors. To make matters worse, the night Raquel and Tony are due to perform is also Eugene's mum's birthday.
On the night, Del arrives late after being in court, but he's just in time to see Eric introduce Raquel, who starts singing "Crying". The audience are captivated ... until Tony joins in. Only then does it emerge why Tony only sings certain songs; he has a rhotacism, causing him to pronounce his R's as W's, making "Crying" sound more like "Cwying". Del hastily legs it, while Rodney applauds sympathetically.
Back at Nelson Mandela House, Del is concerned about what Eugene will do to him, until a humiliated Raquel and a jovial Rodney both enter. Raquel admits that she and Tony carried on with the performance, singing songs like "Please Welease Me" and "Congwatulations". Rodney thought it was hilarious.
Tony shows up for his money, and after initially refusing, Del pays him. Tony then talks about how his rhotacism has led to him being discriminated against, as although he is a talented singer, he can only sing songs without any R's in them — or ones where he can subtly change the "lywics". Just after Tony leaves, Del gets a phone call from Eugene, who says that his mother thought Raquel and Tony's performance was the funniest thing she's ever seen, and he wants to book them on a five-week contract at the Starlight Rooms.
Tropes:
- Actually Pwetty Funny: Although it was intended to be a serious musical performance, Rodney thinks Tony's act is hilarious. More importantly, so does Eugene McCarthy's mum, along with quite a few other people who attended the party.
- All There in the Manual: Tony Angelino and Eugene McCarthy are never heard of again in the show. Del's 2015 autobiography He Who Dares reveals their eventual fates: Tony continued to sing at the Down by the Riverside Club until he was forced into retirement by a serious case of fake suntan poisoning; he survived, though, and now lives in a maisonette on Gandhi Avenue between the Nigerian greengrocers and the Kosovan kebab house. Eugene, on the other hand, ended up committing suicide... by shooting himself twice in the head and three times in the back, according to the police report.
- Blatant Lies: When Eric introduces Raquel and Tony, he tells the audience that they've recently been supporting Barry Manilow in Las Vegas. Rodney wonders out loud who told him that, only to quickly realise that it was Del.
- Elmuh Fudd Syndwome: Tony suffers from this, although he cleverly conceals it by only singing certain songs and subtly changing the "lywics". This goes out of the window when Del signs him to sing at Eugene McCarthy's mum's birthday party. Unfortunately, Del doesn't discover this until after he's signed him, as he won't listen when Tony tries to explain. Later, Tony laments that despite his talent, his rhotacism means he'll never be taken seriously as a singer.Tony: We've got sexism, wacism, sizeism and ageism. Well, I'm a victim of pwonunciationism! I've got a good voice! I've got a good style. I've got a perfect tone. Just because I pwonouce my R's diffewently from the west of you, I can never be a star!
- Got Me Doing It: Tony's rhotacism is somewhat catching, as Raquel and Del both find out.
- First up is Raquel, when she's singing "Crying" on stage with Tony:Tony: Yes, now you are gone, And from this moment on, I'll be cwying...Raquel: Crying...Tony: Cwying...Raquel: Crying...Tony: Cwying...Raquel: Cwy, Crying...
- Back at the flat, Del does it too, addressing his brother as "Wodney". When he finds out that Tony's act was actually a hit because everyone thought it was hilarious, he calls out after the just-departed singer...Del: Hang about, Tony. I've got you some more bookings. Stick with me, son, I'll make you wich!
- First up is Raquel, when she's singing "Crying" on stage with Tony:
- London Gangster: Eugene McCarthy, who has a nasty habit of nailing people to doors. Word is, even the Army pays him protection money.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: Tony's act is clearly modelled on that of Tom Jones, although the song the fans wemember him for, "Crying", was actually a hit for Roy Orbison back in 1962 and for Don McLean in 1980.
- Noodle Incident: We don't get to see how the gig went after Del legged it. According to a highly amused Rodney and an embarrassed Raquel, she and Tony continued with their act, with the latter entertaining everyone with renditions of "Congwatulations", "Please Welease Me" and "The Gween Gween Gwass of Home". And that was followed by "a medley of wock 'n' woll"!
- Opinion Flip Flop: Rodney recurrently objects to Del's methods of booking a gig, stating as a Road Manager he should have some creative opinion on the matter. When the two discover they have been hired for the infamously violent Eugene McCarthy however, Rodney repeats the credentials Del gave him like a mantra.Rodney: (nervously to Eugene) I just make the tea and sweep up. I’m nothing to do with the artistic contents or anything like that.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: When Tony's speech impediment becomes vewy apparent mid-performance, Del legs it, to Raquel's fury.
- Take That!: Tony laments "No-one who pwonounces their Rs like I do has ever become successful". Albert points out "There's Roy Jenkinsnote and Jonathan Ross ." Tony snaps back "Exactly!!"
- The Show Must Go On: After Del's hasty departure, the performance continued, with Tony doing a few songs that showed off his rhotacism to full effect.
- Speech Impediment: Raquel finds out to her cost why her singing partner's signature song is "Delilah" — he's able to make a couple of tweaks to the lyrics to avoid singing any R's. When she persuaded him to diversify his, ah, wepertoire, they ended up singing "Cwying", followed (off-screen) by "Congwatulations" and "Please Welease Me", among others.
- Story Arc: Del says that when Raquel's divorce comes through, he might be able to persuade her to marry him. Despite this, they're still not married by the time of the 2001-03 trilogy (long after her divorce), with the implication being that Raquel wants to get married, but Del's stalling.
- Tricked into Signing: Much to Rodney's disgust, Del tricks Tony into signing a contract by making it look like he's asking for an autograph. Ironically, this is not really needed as Tony does not need much persuading to agree to do the Starlight Rooms gig, even though his warning about the limited number of songs that he can sing goes unheeded. Towards the end of the episode, it's Tony who threatens Del with the contract in order to get paid.
