Recap / Mystery Science Theater 3000 S06 E24: Samson vs. the Vampire Women

A lighthearted romp about the war between the sexes.

Film watched: Samson vs. the Vampire Women

The episode is available in the Gizmoplex here, and on the MST3k YouTube channel here.

The Segments:

Prologue

• Mike and the 'Bots open the show with a moment of silence. Servo doesn't seem to get the concept.

Segment 1

• The Mads prepare to enjoy some Chinese food given to them by an ethereal white deliveryman. Frank also gets an ominous message in his fortune cookie, which he calls stupid. The Mads also send some of their food to the SOL for a snack. Crow slurps his "really lo mein" while Mike struggles with the clam in his hot and sour clam soup. Servo decides to go with a traditional hot dog instead, which licks his face. As Dr. F finally sits down, he finds that Frank has eaten virtually everything.

Segment 2

• As Mike tries to teach the 'Bots how to play Stratego, Crow is given a message by the mysterious deliveryman from earlier.

Segment 3

• Frank is awakened from his food coma by the deliveryman, who reveals himself to be Torgo the White, with repaired knees and everything. Under his guidance, Frank is escorted to Second-Banana Heaven, home of all the sidekicks and lackeys out there.

Segment 4

• Dr. Forrester has just noticed Frank's departure, and when Mike and the 'Bots tell him about it, he's beside himself with sadness, as he demonstrates in his elegant song "Who Will I Kill?"

Segment 5

• Mike and the 'Bots send their final respects to Frank, Gyspy's driving the others to tears. As Dr. Forrester laments over his loss, Frank appears from the afterlife to boost his spirits, and gives some motivation to all others out there who suffer from an abusive boss or straight-man. At Dr. Forrester's request, he also pushes the button one last time.

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The Mystery Science Theater 3000 presentation of Samson vs. the Vampire Women has examples of:

• Ascend to a Higher Plane of Existence: Frank is taken to Second Banana Heaven by Torgo The White.
• Big Eater: Most of the dozen cartons of Chinese food was for Frank; Dr. Forrester only ordered mock duck. Frank eats all of it anyway.
• Clam Trap: Mike tries to eat a clam, only for it to snap down on the crackers he placed on it, then his fork, and then, when he takes a close look at it, his nose.
• Comically Missing the Point:
  • Frank wants to know if Dr. Forrester can come to Second Banana Heaven with him.
  • Servo really gets into the moment of silence in the prologue.
    Servo: God, this is great, eh? This is so spiritual, I just can't believe it. [chuckles] You know what this silence thing is like? Well, I'll tell you. I feel like one of them trapper monks or somethin'. [chuckles] No kidding, really! I feel so purified, my soul is as smooth as a baby's behind! [laughs] And I'm not just talkin' insights here, noooo sir! I'm talkin' visions! I'm talkin' full-blown illumination! I'm talkin' about revelations shouted down from the mountaintops! I'm talkin' huge, deafening thunderclouds of truth! We're beyond mere silence here, friends! We're in a mega-silence! You've heard about the big bang theory of silence? This is it, man, ka-BOOM! [laughs] Boy, is it quiet! Wowwee, is this silence or what?! I feel enlightenment and satori! It's like I'm sitting under the Bodhi Tree!!
  • Mike and the bots watch Torgo the White take Frank up into Second Banana Heaven. Crow is awestruck.
  Crow: WOOOOW! So Torgo was actually working with two completely reconstructed knees! That is dedication. Amazing!
• Continuity Nod:
  • In the final scene, Dr. Forrester sings a snippet of "The Greatest Frank of All."
  • After he states, "Watch me ROCK!", Frank makes the unusual throat sound that had been more or less abandoned since the third season.
• Death by Irony: Frank has been killed by Dr. Forrester in numerous horrific and lethal ways, only to come right back next episode no worse for wear. How is he finally killed off permanently? A Chinese food-induced coma.
• Designated Hero: Invoked.
  Mike: Bested at every turn, he gets a chance to light some helpless women on fire.
• Dramatic Irony: The major reason this movie was ran was because this was Frank Conniff's last episode, and the crew decided to do a lucha movie, as he was a fan of the genre. It is only after TV's Frank departs for Second Banana Heaven when El Santo enters the movie.
• Due to the Dead: Mike has the 'bots write and read goodbye letters in honor of Frank's passing. Servo and Crow don't take it seriously one bit, leading Mike to chew them out for insulting someone who was actually pretty nice to them. Gypsy, meanwhile, delivers a rather eloquent and heartfelt goodbye letter.
• El Spanish "-o": Crow describes one of El Santo's opponents in the ring as "It's Andy El Kaufman!"
• Foreshadowing:
  • Now why would the Satellite of Love crew need to observe a moment of silence at the start of the show?
  • Frank's fortune cookie is an obvious example of this, but Dr. Forrester's fortune could be seen as such as well, considering his fate at the end of Season 7.
    Clay: "You will die alone and afraid, knowing not a single human being ever loved you. Lucky numbers: 3, 18, and 86." It's weird, I keep getting the same one!
• Killed Off for Real: Frank, after surviving many injuries and deaths over the course of five seasons, is taken into Second Banana Heaven, the afterlife for minions. Though he does briefly return as a ghost just for the end of the episode.
• Not a Mask
  Mike: It's part of the face: it doesn't come off!
• Punctuated Pounding
  Mike: DON'T! TOUCH! THE MASK!
• Special Guest: Torgo the White (Michael J. Nelson)
• Shout-Out:
  • Torgo the White recalls the introduction of Gandalf the White.
  • Before that, Torgo appears to Crow, who blurts, "Something is going to happen, Mike. Something WONDERFUL!"^note Mike: Sure, I'm about to win [the game of Stratego they're playing].
  • Gypsy's farewell letter refers to John F. Kennedy's speech, which in turn referenced Hamlet.
  • The giant clam and the hot dog skit are both a reference to The Three Stooges.
  • Crow is eating the Punny Named Willy Lo Mein.
  • One of the riffs around the end of the movie basically outlines the plot of The Terminator.
  • Calling out "STRA-TEE-GOOOOO!" was from the ubiquitous television ad for Stratego.
  • Upon seeing the American International logo: "Hey! Capitol Critters is on!"
• Took a Level in Badass:
  • Well, being the messenger of an otherworldly power has to be a step up from a evil religious fanatic's lackey/pizza delivery guy, right?
    Frank: Hey, they fixed your knees!
    Torgo The White: ThErE aRe No BuM kNeEs In My WoRlD, cHiLd.
    Frank: How about your voice?
    Torgo The White: [confused] W... wHaT aBouT mY vOiCe?
  • Torgo still ends up being a Chinese food delivery guy - which may be a step up.
• Unexpected Genre Change:
  • The film seems to be a standard vampire horror story, and the professor has just managed to summon Heroic Willpower and faith to shake off the mind control of the vampire queen... and then El Santo just walks into the room in all his silver-masked, bare-chested glory and the professor doesn't bat an eye. All Mike and the Bots can do is laugh hysterically.
    Servo: [as El Santo] I feel sort of silly right now. Did I overdress?
  • And pretty much explicitly pointed out with "Sorry, do you need any wrestling done?"
• Villainous Cheekbones: Mentioned by Crow when the vampire women are getting their supernatural makeovers: "The Devil gave me prominent cheekbones."

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"Chief, I saw two corpses in the garden."

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