We start the 3rd/last episode in the auditorium, where we find New Directions and some Clean Bandit/Jess Glynne. As they perform, we see a surprisingly somber Klaine return from their honeymoon; we soon know why, as Murphy again found another trope, this one being Trash the Set. Yes gleeks, doing it off screen because budget, the famed Dalton Academy has been torched to the ground, Blaine in a state of shock as we hit the Title Card.
We're in the choir room with the newly displaced Warblers. Seems as though Will was thinking ahead; forget about grief counseling, forget about actually taking time to comfort them, no, seems all Will's wanting at the moment is another Sectionals trophy as it's revealed that the staff (Will and his best friends!) have decided to merge the Warblers with New Directions. Since you didn't even remotely seem to care about them as people, Will, you're an idiot. As you'd expect, especially under these circumstances, there is some reluctance, especially from Jane, until the Warblers are convinced that it's the only way they'll be able to perform and the ND kids are reassured that none of the Warblers really get solos anyway. Jane still isn't happy. Will says that together they can win Nationals, and this is the only way ND will have enough members without having to abuse the cheerleaders' or band's services yet again (though Rachel vowed to learn their names, too). And also as you'd expect, there is but one person particularly not pleased, as the Adidas Anarchist enters to tell them they can't incorporate independent students into their school for a show choir. Which is a very good point, Will had to hunt down April in season 1 because she was technically still a McKinley student. However, Will, like Rachel, went above her and cleared it with Superintendent Plot-Device. And that may be contrived, but gleeks, just you wait. After the standard insanity, this time involving blatant Product Placement for the then-new Apple Watch, the battle lines are again drawn, however, though neither of them know it, the battle will soon reach its end. As once again, Will calls her "Susie Q", Sue telling him to stop it, everyone around looking at them weirdly. We cut to... to... okay. As if there was any concrete proof that this show's nearing its end, we cut to the one thing we thought we'd never see: Rebecca Faye Jackson, Sue Sylvester's most loyal minion, rail on her for not wanting the Warblers in ND. So, six seasons and this is her breaking point? M'kay. We see boyfriend Darrell off to the side reading a magazine but translating for Sue (and us) when Becky starts screaming incomprehensibly. It ends with Becky saying that Sue's evil and they're no longer friends. Huh. And we admit, while we know the Foregone Conclusion in play here, it's admittedly still shocking. Anyway, cut to New York. Yes, New York, where, as Will had mentioned earlier, a certain fellow ND coach and former Broadway baby is trying to atone for a very stupid mistake. Yes, we're back at the vaunted NYADA corridor, where we find Rachel; having been humbled by life, she decided that she sure as hell ain't too proud to beg, so she's gone to beg Madame Carmen Tibideaux for another shot at the college. We thought it was stupid that she left, but since that happened it's become more stupid for her to want to go back. The receptionist calls for her, but also tells her the Madame has anticipated her return. Knowing what may lie ahead, Rachel enters.note
We then cut to Sue, shaking off Becky's abandonment, at Superintendent Harris's office, wearing a generic 1st Place medal and looking oh so smug. Now, since the episode title gives up the ghost, we can sense all manner of fun to ensue, and we'd be right, as Harris, with a surprisingly summoned Will alongside him to bear witness to the downfall, reveals that he found her hurt locker. She is, so very much, in deep shit, and while Harris could forgive having Myron's face on a tiny doll (priorities, Robert?), or the Stalker Shrine to Klaine, what was so truly horrifying that it calls for this reaction is... her "Penthouse" shoot. The one Finn had her admit to doing. Though she's a good educator, the contents of that magazine means she shouldn't be allowed near children. Where was this Superintendent in any previous season? Huh? In any event, Sue Sylvester has fallen, for she's once again terminated.
We return from break to as blatant a Framing Device if ever we saw one: Sue is being interviewed by Geraldo Rivera (nobody made a joke about "are you related to that singer or the Raiders' tight end?"), who says she used to be an American Treasure and always winning but is now a loser. She says that she only agreed to the show (FOX News) because she just got fired and needs to set the record straight. Rivera digs in deep, exposing all of her Blatant Lies,note especially the one about Michael Bolton being Robin's father. Sue is quick to defend herself as we then discover that she once kidnapped Andrea Carmichael of WOHN's anchor team with Rod Remington, a video of the former co-anchors shown. Sue ignores this and says that she devoted her life to McKinley — but Geraldo went to visit the glee club (complete with Artie, Mercedes, and a wild Joesus Hart appearing), and has a video of some of them saying how horrible a person she is, she even cut off Joe's dreadlocks (maybe that wasn't really that evil; perhaps he really was tangled up in them; hell, they promptly cocoon him after the interview). When the videos continue, Sue says that this is all clearly a set-up full of lies perpetrated by Will. No, it's Becky who gave them the tip-off as we see her own B-Roll on how she's better without Sue. Sue is apocalyptic as Geraldo takes us to break.
We return to Sue telling Geraldo (and the camera, which she didn't know was still rolling) that it's a biased view, because he didn't bother to get comments from some of her more successful students, saying how she sends her cheerleaders off to Ivy League schools: like Quinn Fabray, at Yalenote , Brittany S. Pierce, who she got to MIT despite teachers' giving up on her, and Santana Lopez, former Broadway understudy who could've had a promising career as a call girl. Somewhere on Paradise Island, a certain newlywed suddenly has the urge to unleash her personal Snixx. They were contacted, but declined to comment (a.k.a. the actors were not being paid enough). After a debate over how he's trying to assassinate her character and lied about the aspects of the interview, she says that nobody can dispute how she made the school a bully-free zone. This is something she truly cares about, and Rivera says that people do agree on that. He plays a video of a disguised Beiste saying how good Sue's been. Obviously Sue is happy with this outcome, because the interview is looking better. However, as she is wont to do, she makes the mistake of opening mouth and inserting Adidas, because she says not to mess with her because her parents were Nazi Hunters. Yeah, as we've hid behind the spoiler tags back in "Furt", Geraldo pulls up a video of Carol Burnett explaining that they weren't Nazi Hunters, they just didn't want to spend time with Sue or Jean and after a while the two girls seemed fine on their own (or, Sue had to look after her sister). Rivera says that Sue was a daughter even a mother couldn't love, so she must be horrible. Ooh, Rivera, that may be true, but we can see why you took a chair to the nose in '92. This time, it's a fist as Sue leaves. And of course, the show goes on, as we see a clip from a certain Worthy Opponent of hers to close. It's actually super positive, not that Sue gets to see this. Cut to the auditorium where we find a broken Sue and a band with a funeral march. The primary reason for her depression arrives, revealing she and Papa Sylvester were actually accountants and not Nazi Hunters. Sue owns up to being a difficult child, Doris owns up to being a difficult mother, and despite Sue not liking musicals (explains a lot), the two cue up some Meet Me In St Louis as apparently once upon a time Sue's parents could actually feel love - their words, not ours - and fell in love on a trolley.
After the break, we're in the lounge, devoid of Sue and instead full of the alums. There are so many words for this, but we'll summarize with: it's probably good that this show ends three episodes from now. Rachel, as you'd expect, got kicked out of Tibideaux's office but thinks she still has a chance. Mercedes says that with a name like that, she's probably going to stick with her original decision, saying maybe Rachel's looking too much into it. Sam then asks if it's a school of witchcraft or something? Blaine says that if he could get kicked out of it then anyone can. As Rachel clings to hope like a pitbull, even writing a letter to the Madam putting herself out there, good and bad, she gets a call from NYC, she thinks it's NYADA, no it's just a play she auditioned for saying she got the part. That maybe makes her decision harder - well, it should do, but doesn't really, as she promptly does a 180 and says maybe she doesn't need NYADA. Rachel, you're an idiot as we cut back to the stage where, as you'd expect, New Directions and the Warblers aren't working well together. The Warblers are a unit and New Directions a Ragtag Bunch of Misfits. Everyone argues about whether they need a uniform or not, Jane and Spencer making the case that McKinley isn't sexist and they don't need to adopt the all boys' school uniform, the Warblers saying that the blazers make them a unit and also more attractive (Myron: "give me one example" Skylar: "the girls like it" Kitty: "do girls really like you in them?"). Kurt thinks the uniforms are sexy, but the school has already taken in the Warblers and accepted them with open arms (Kitty: "semi-open arms") and can't expect them to take their uniform, too, let alone a uniform for a different school. Blaine thinks that it'll be a hassle to find new outfits for everyone. It continues, not going anywhere quickly, until Beiste interrupts saying, because we all saw this one from a mile away, Sue found the one place where she'd be truly excepted. Cut to Carmel as Vocal Adrenaline and after some posturing, we see Sue coaching VA as intensely as they were ever coached. They love it, as we mix them and some Frank Stallone with a montage of her destroying the hurt locker (but keeping sentimental stuff before watching it burn).
Afterwards, it's back to the lounge where Rachel and Sam get mixed up between talking about the uniform and her future (what do you mean this isn't the Rachel Berry show? It failed? Yes, we know, but somehow it's still airing). Sam of course thinks taking the part in that play is a mistake while Rachel of course is a basic brick wall. And because dramatic convenience is a friend and foe, she gets the call saying she's back in NYADA. However, because the play called first, she is seemingly convinced that's the way to go. And again, Rachel, you're an idiot, though we qualify that by again citing the Foregone Conclusion. Cut to Sam and Will finding Sue with Brad and an organ (how in Murphy's shit did they get that onto the stage - In-Universe, because we know the set is missing walls and ceilings). Yes, Sue throws down the musical gauntlet and the two cue up some rather appropriate Europe. Now, you know how half of Glee's performances were basically Imagine Spot? For the only time, we get to see it from the other perspective, as the two are brought out of their Dream Sequence by the kid-staff-hybrids that now exist because they look crazy and they've gathered all the new new new new New Directions. That is the right number of 'new's and it's just getting ridiculous now.
We start the 3rd/last home stretch in the lounge (again) where Will apologizes to Blaine for the air-guitar, but then Rachel arrives with one more obstacle Murphy insists on for dramatic purposes. We cut to Myron telling her that, for no reason at all, the Superintendent has decreed that he's being made to shut down all arts programs at McKinley if the club doesn't win Sectionals. Again with the stupid standard. Cut to Will and the ND alums lamenting, but also rallying, as they've been through all manner of hell and back, and they've come out stronger for it. And thus, we end with the combined New Directions and Warblers on stage in familiar ties, as it seems they've compromised on uniforms: essentially the Warbler template, but in McKinley red. As we hear a Darren Criss-penned original which sets the appropriate tone, we see them united together in their only chance to Rise.
And with that, and all the major players in their positions, the stage is set for...
Next Time: The penultimate episode, Sectionals 2015, the final performance of New Directions and one question: Is Ryan Murphy evil enough to make the final big moment of the series a Downer Ending?
Songs:
- "Rather Be" by Clean Bandit feat. Jess Glynne, performed by New Directions
- "The Trolley Song" from Meet Me in St. Louis, performed by Sue and Doris Sylvester
- "Far From Over" by Frank Stallone, performed by Clint and Vocal Adrenaline
- "The Final Countdown" by Europe, performed by Sue and Will with Brad
- "Rise", original song, performed by New Directions (inc. the Warblers)note
Tropes:
- Abusive Parents: Sue's, even though she didn't know it.
- B-Roll: Becky records and sends B-Roll footage of how she's better without Sue.
- The Cameo: Kevin Mchale as Artie Abrams, Amber Riley as Mercedes Jones, Samuel Larsen as Joe Hart.
- Entitled Bitch: Sue keeps talking about how the Glee club "betrayed" her. No, sorry, Sue, for someone to betray you, they have to owe you loyalty in the first place. You've messed with them plenty of times- it's not betrayal, it's justice.
- Shout-Out: The title is a reference to (The Rise and Fall of) Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars.
