Recap / Farscape S 02 E 12 Look At The Princess I Do I Think

Season 2, Episode 12:

Look at the Princess, part 2: I Do, I Think

Last episode, Crichton was about to be assassinated by a gang of Clavor's loyalists. However, he's saved by the timely intervention of Jenavian, who proceeds to kill every single one of the attackers in hand-to-hand combat, finishing off the last one with a stiletto concealed in her wrist. It turns out that Jenavian is actually a Peacekeeper operative sent to pose as Clavor's fiance and kill him if he ever assumes the throne; more to the point, she thinks that Crichton is a fellow agent sent to create a pact with the Sebacean Colonies. Crichton plays along, thanks her for the help, and then hurries off to confront Clavor over the assassination attempt; unsurprisingly, though, slapping and punching the young prince in the face doesn't endear him to the palace security, especially when no evidence of the attempt on Crichton's life can be found.

Many light-years away, Moya is still awed by the fact that she's now face to face with her gods, the Builders. Inside, Zhaan and Pilot watch in amazement as a tendril of smoke reaches out from the surrounding dust clouds and enters the ship, eventually coalescing into a humanoid figure who identifies himself as Kahaynu, representative of the Builders. Though pleased that Moya is in good health, he is troubled by the fact that she can produce gunship offspring; as Leviathans were created to be exclusively peaceful beings, this means that Kahaynu has no choice but to decommission her.

Back on the Royal Planet, Crichton and Katralla are arguing over whether or not Clavor would truly have the balls to order an assassination, when a sphere-shaped robot appears and fills the room with poison gas. Thankfully, they are saved by ro-NA, a Jakensh servant, and Katralla finally believes Crichton's accusations again Clavor. Unfortunately, Empress Novia isn't so easily convinced. So, Rygel advises her to hide Crichton somewhere safe until the conspirators can be identified; nobody else will be told of this, so that any prospective assassins will get careless in their attempts to find him. The Empress agrees to this course of action, and assigns ro-NA and a squad of her own personal bodyguards to take Crichton up to an orbiting cargo ship of wedding presents; for good measure, she assures Rygel that both the servant and the guards are completely incorruptible. Cut to another part of the palace, where ro-NA is accepting a large amount of money from Scorpius. Whoopsidaisy.

Meanwhile, Moya is slowly shutting herself down. Though Zhaan believes that the Builders have taken control of the Leviathan's systems, Kahaynu gives Moya a voice to explain that she is doing this of her own free will, and that she will go to her death fulfilled if the Builders request it.

As Zhaan grieves over Moya's approaching death and Crichton is ferried to the cargo ship, the crew get very upset over Crichton's disappearance: all of them (except, of course, for Rygel) suspect either Scorpius or Cargn, and all of them proceed to shout at Councillor Tyno for it. Aeryn even goes so far as to assault Katralla and Jenavian, threatening to take revenge on their "overly made-up faces" if Crichton is hurt. Hilarity Ensues when Chiana tries the same thing on Cargn.

Finally, Crichton arrives at the cargo ship, only for his elite bodyguards to be shot dead by Lieutenant Braca, Scorpius' personal operative in the region. After he and ro-NA contact Scorpius to confirm that the mission has been a success, Crichton manages to foil both of them by going completely nuts: after all, since the objective of the mission is to capture him alive, he can't be held at gunpoint. Running about the ship, pressing buttons and flicking switches, he manages to switch on the transport's weapons, which attracts the attention of the nearby satellite defence network; in the resulting barrage of fire, ro-NA is killed and Braca escapes via the airlock. Unfortunately, since Braca had the only space suit, this leaves Crichton aboard the exploding ship, with a few hundred metres of vacuum between him and the transport pod he arrived on. Spurred on by the voice of Scorpius in his head, Crichton flings himself out of the airlock, using a pulse rifle to propel himself towards the transport pod; he manages to open the door and climb inside, where he immediately collapses, alive but in serious pain.

Moya's shutdown carries on, meanwhile. With Kahaynu refusing to accomodate Zhaan's request for another ship, Pilot will also die; he and Zhaan share a tearful farewell, and Pilot assures her that he is fulfilled- he has seen the stars...

Crichton has spent some time recovering from his injuries, and though annoyed that the Empress is still reluctant to follow up on the assassination attempts, he's now prepared for the wedding. Aeryn, however, decides not to attend; instead, she leaves on a mountain-climbing expedition with Dregon Carsinova, a member of the royal family who's been making eyes at her since the previous episode. Finally, the wedding day arrives, and Crichton manages to secure one small victory by using his newfound authority to ban Scorpius from the planet once the coronation is complete. In a ceremony attended only by the Royal family and their guests, the Empress marries Crichton and Katralla, actually going so far as to offer the chance to "Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace": there is a brief pause as Cargn, Clavor, Scorpius and Tyno all consider speaking up, but none of them do.

Finally, it's time for the newly-declared royal couple to become statues. As Katralla undergoes the process, Crichton is warned that because the petrification machine was calibrated for Sebaceans, the transformation will be painful for him. So, as he steps into place, he has one last conversation with D'Argo before it activates:

Crichton: This is not happening. Just feel free to wake me up any time, D'Argo.

D'Argo: Well now, I can only speak truth... and that comes as good and bad news.

Crichton: All right. Give me the bad news first.

D'Argo: The bad news is that you're married, and must endure as a statue for eighty cycles in a strange world.

Crichton: ... what's the good news?

D'Argo: Chiana and I are having fantastic sex.

There's a pause, and then the two burst out laughing. Then the machine starts, and Crichton, still laughing, grins and strikes the cheesiest pose he could possibly take, complete with two peace signs; unfortunately, the pain kicks in, leaving Crichton's statue half-collapsed on the floor, his face frozen in a grimace of pain.

Tropes present in this episode include:

• Abandon Ship: Braca gets in one last parting line before leaving Crichton to his fate:
  Braca: You can have the ship. But I have the helmet!
• Action Girl: Jenavian establishes her credentials by dropping from the ceiling and taking out the men attacking Crichton.
• Actually Pretty Funny: Crichton shares a last laugh with D'Argo over his Bad News, Irrelevant News joke.
• Bad Samaritan: Ro-Na saves Crichton and Katralla from the Deadly Gas drone, but it's just a ploy to gain their trust so she'll be in a position to kidnap Crichton for Scorpius.
• Batman Can Breathe in Space: Crichton spends over fifty seconds exposed to the vacuum in his leap from one spaceship to another yet is still conscious enough to clamber into the airlock, close the door and repressure it. He appears to be holding his breath, but that should rupture his lungs.
• Big "NO!": Zhaan when told by Moya that she's entirely willing to go to her own death.
• Birds of a Feather: Rygel and Novia take open pleasure in working together.
  Rygel: You are most wise, Empress. (bows)
  Empress Novia: (smiling) And you are most manipulative, Dominar.
• Bitch Slap: Crichton barges into Clavor's august presence, slaps the Sissy Villain around, grabs him in a Villainous Face Hold and makes him promise not to do that again. The slaps Crichton gets from Clavor's sister are a lot harder.
  Chiana: You bitch-slapped the tralk!
• Bizarre Alien Biology
  • ro-NAN has glowing red eyes and is unaffected by the Deadly Gas.
  • Invoked Trope by Crichton. Knowing Braca isn't familiar with humans, he tells the Sebacean that our species will bleed out from Only a Flesh Wound after Braca threatens to shoot his limbs off.
• Blade Below the Shoulder: Jenavian's concealed wrist-stiletto.
• Cannot Spit It Out:
  Chiana: Have you even told [Crichton] how you feel?
  Aeryn: He knows what he needs to know.
  Chiana: Look Aeryn, all men are stupid, ok? Men—stupid. If you want them to know something, you gotta to tell them.
• Can't Kill You, Still Need You: Crichton exploits how Scorpius needs him alive in order to get the better of Braca.
• Chekhov's Gun: The automated satellite weapons introduced in the first episode. Crichton is prisoner on a cargo ship that been made to look like a derelict, so he powers up the weapon system, activating the planetary defenses.
• Classified Information: Invoked Trope by Crichton when Jenavian demands to know which branch of the Peacekeeper Special Directorate he's with. "You should know I can't tell you that."
• Expecting Someone Taller: Braca smirks over how disappointing Crichton is in the flesh after all the energy Scorpius has expended chasing after him. Crichton says he gets that all the time.
• Despair Event Horizon: After narrowly surviving his airlock ordeal, Crichton says he's tired of all this and would rather submit to the wedding than try to run.
• Does This Remind You of Anything?: A sharp object jammed through the soft part of the jaw into the brain is an old OSS trick, Five-Second Foreshadowing the reveal that Jenavian is an intelligence agent when she kills the final member of the hit squad this way.
• The Dragon: Lieutenant Braca
• Family-Unfriendly Death: ro-NA tries to subdue Crichton during his freak out session, and instead gets thrown into a piece of equipment and electrocuted.
• Foreshadowing: When Crichton undergoes the statue process, he experiences a good deal of pain. In the next part, it's established he'll die if they try this a second time.
• Friendship Moment: After going over Crichton's options, D'Argo promises to back him on whatever he wants to do. Crichton gives him a fist bump in response.
• The Good Chancellor: Rygel manages to become a rational advisor to the increasingly obstinate Empress; for good measure, he's also been teaching D'Argo about the politics of this sector.
• Groin Attack: Crichton suggests that Braca do this to him... by pointing Braca's pulse pistol at his crotch and shouting "John Wayne Bobbit!"
• Headbutt of Love: Zhaan presses her head to Pilot's as he's dying.
• Horrible Judge of Character: Katralla knows her brother poisoned her DNA but refuses to believe he'd stoop to murder, and thinks he lacks the spine to do so anyway (not knowing how much he's under Cargn's control). She changes her mind on the second attempt, but then it turns out Clavor wasn't behind it as even he wouldn't murder his own sister.
• Ineffectual Death Threat: Crichton points out to Braca that Stop, or I Will Shoot! doesn't mean much when Scorpius wants him alive.
• Instantly Proven Wrong: Tyno refuses to believe Crichton's assertion that Clavor was behind the assassination attempt because "The Empress, and by extension the royal family, abhors personal violence." Cue Katralla walking up and giving John a "Hey, You!" slap. Crichton's "I Told You So" smirk especially sells the moment.
• It's Not You, It's Me: After Dregon gives her one of the vials, Aeryn rebuffs him by flinging it into a lake. For consolation, she remarks, "Don't feel bad: it's not you, it's me. I don't like you."
• It Was There I Swear: Crichton can't convince anyone that Prince Clavor sent his loyalists to kill him because Jenavian used the Disintegrator Ray they were about to kill Crichton with to destroy the bodies. It doesn't help that Crichton won't reveal who his mysterious rescuer is.
• I Want My Mommy!: After Crichton gets done smacking him around, Clavor orders ro-NA to "Get my mother. GET MY MOTHER!" Humorous and dramatic, as he refuses to let Crichton's distinctly un-royal treatment of him stand. . . but it's still a full-grown man who wants to be King running to his mom to solve his problems for him.
• Jerkass Gods: The Builders. They want to kill Moya to stop her from being used to breed more Leviathan gunships, and care nothing that Pilot will die along with her.
• Kneel Before Zod: Even Cargn and Scorpius have to bend the knee during the wedding ceremony when Princess Katralla enters, but Empress Novia whispers in Crichton's ear, "Not you."
• Lame Comeback: Crichton tells Scorpius that his one request for a wedding present was that Scorpius be banned for life from the Royal Planet. "You know what they said? Yes, your Highness." Even a snark knight like Scorpius can only reply, "Oh." When the Empress gives him a smug look, he departs with a low growl.
• Lampshade Hanging: During her "chat" with them, Aeryn comments on Katralla and Jenavian's overly made-up faces.
• Leave Me Alone!: Despite Dregon being a Mr. Fanservice in looks, Aeryn repeatedly rejects his advances.
• Lured into a Trap: Rygel and Novia decide to hide Crichton on a cargo ship that was bearing gifts for the wedding from the Jakensh. After being emptied the spaceship was left in orbit and forgotten about. To maintain security only those accompanying Crichton—a couple of Novia's personal guards and her servant ro-NAN, who's already proved her loyalty by rescuing Crichton from the unknown assassins—will know where he's going. Unfortunately ro-NAN reveals the plan to Scorpius, who has Braca waiting in ambush on the cargo ship.
• Maybe Magic, Maybe Mundane: It's never really established whether the Builders are actual gods or just Sufficiently Advanced Aliens. Kahaynu says that Zhaan at least shouldn't treat him as a god because he's not her God.
• Mugging the Monster: Aeryn at one point manhandles Katralla and Jenavian, threatening them both with further violence if anything happens to Crichton, all the while completely unaware that Jenavian is a One-Woman Army Peacekeeper Deep Cover Agent that recently killed an entire squad of assassins singlehanded. For a second Jenavian looks pissed off enough to almost break character.
• The Needs of the Many: Crichton says that going through with the marriage would prevent an incompetent leader from taking power and plunging the empire into a deadly conflict. Aeryn accuses him of rationalizing his desire to just give up.
• Noblesse Oblige: During the wedding, the Empress makes it clear that the Empress and Regent prime duty and responsibility is the wellbeing of their people.
• Obfuscating Insanity: Crichton, during the fight with Braca. He really does start to Freak Out after realising his plan has worked so well he's on a spacecraft that's about to explode, and starts Hearing Voices on how to escape.
• Obfuscating Stupidity: Jenavian reveals that she's been using this to disguise her role as a Peacekeeper Disruptor. She did it well enough to resist a Scarran Mind Probe in the previous episode, but as we later discover a properly trained mind can do this.
• Oh, Crap!:
  • Chiana has a very slow-acting version of this when she realises that her attempt to intimidate Cargn isn't working as planned.
  • After Braca escapes and the ship he's on is targeted for destruction, Crichton has a... less understated reaction
    "Frell, frell, frell, frell, frell, frell, frell, frell!"
• Only a Flesh Wound: Purposely subverted by Crichton when pointing out that Braca can't just shoot one of his limbs off to subdue him: "Human, Sebacean; human, Sebacean! We're different. One wound, I bleed out!"
• On the Rebound: Invoked when Carsinova offers himself as a 'diversion' so Aeryn can be distracted from pining over Crichton. After one inconclusive argument with Crichton too many, Aeryn accepts an invitation to explore the Barren Lands with Carsinova. This results in her being Trapped by Mountain Lions for the remainder of the story.
• Our Souls Are Different: Discussed by Kahaynu.
  Zhaan: You must be one of the ships Builders; one of those who gave Leviathans intelligence.
  Kahaynu: Anybody can give a machine intelligence. We gave her a soul.
• Previously on…: Narrated by Rygel.
• Red Eyes, Take Warning: Subverted; Crichton and Katralla are choking to death when they see a couple of glowing red eyes advancing on them through the white clouds of Deadly Gas. Turns out to be the shy and timid Jakensh servant, who has deep red eyes that she uses to guide them to safety.
• Recoil Boost: Crichton jumps out the airlock without a spacesuit, holding a pulse rifle, using its recoil to thrust him to safety (through you'd think an energy weapon wouldn't have much recoil). However he does get a big boost when the cargo ship explodes...except Explosions in Space don't have blast waves—Crichton would have to be hit by shrapnel to get this.
• Rewarded as a Traitor Deserves: Scorpius makes it clear to pretty much everyone except ro-NA that she won't have long enough to spend her newfound wealth.
  Scorpius: Lieutenant, reward our Jakensh friend. And at the conclusion of the mission, give her something...additional. From me.
• Right Hand Versus Left Hand:
  • Never mind that Crichton marrying Princess Katralla would serve Peacekeeper interests by foiling a Scarran takeover of the Breakaway Colonies—Scorpius is playing for larger stakes.
  • Jenavian assumes this is why Crichton is here, another Peacekeeper agent sent on a mission not sufficiently related to hers that she needed to be informed. Crichton plays along.
• Right Through the Wall: D'Argo complains that everyone is so wound up after three assassination attempts that the Royal Guards burst in on him and Chiana because she was screaming.
• Rule of Threes: Crichton gets slapped three times by Katralla, and is targeted three times by his enemies during the course of the episode. And D'Argo's offscreen Interrupted Intimacy means that's the third time it's happened to him and Chiana.
• Security Blanket: When Clavor is shown venting to Cargn about what Crichton did he's clutching a pillow, which he throws angrily onto a couch. That'll show it! Cargn is not impressed, especially after finding out his intended Puppet King wasn't ruthless enough to have been behind the attempt on his sister's life.
• Servant Race: The Jakensh live to serve others and frown on the acquisition of wealth. Living in a Decadent Court has apparently given ro-NAN other ideas. Sometimes thinking "You can be more" doesn't work out well.
• Sexy Silhouette: When Crichton barges into Clavor's digs, Jenavian is bathing naked behind a lit screen.
• Shout-Out:
  • The floating gas-attack droid, which looks remarkably like Obi-Wan's training remote as Crichton notes "except his was a lot smaller." Clearly the old Jedi was not Compensating for Something.
  • Crichton misses his Charlie Parker albums, and dares Bracca to turn him into John Wayne Bobbitt
  • Once Crichton points out that ro-NA and Braca can't shoot him and he starts going wacky, he quotes almost word for word the Stop, or I Shoot Myself! scene from Blazing Saddles.
  • Just before he jumps out the airlock, Crichton says how you should never get off the boat.
• The Snark Knight: Cargn gets to snark epically in this episode, especially when Chiana tries to threaten him with Nebari retribution.
  Chiana: Well, you also may also have heard how we can defeat full Command Carriers. Not to mention, uh, mind cleansing...
  Cargn: We are both impressed and daunted. By all means, Nebari, continue.
• Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace: Slightly different phrasing but the intent is clearly the same. Despite several characters looking like they want to say something, or in John's case like he wants someone else to object, nobody says anything and the ceremony goes ahead uninterrupted.
• Stop, or I Shoot Myself!: Pretending humans will bleed out if injured anywhere, John grabs the muzzle of Braca's pulse pistol, holds it to various parts of his body and dares the Peacekeeper to shoot him. When Braca has his hands full he shouts at ro-NA to grab Crichton, who quotes the Trope Namer and holds a Finger Gun to his own head, causing a panicked and confused ro-NA to back off rather than risk damaging her Meal Ticket.
  Crichton: You people are so dumb!
• Suddenly Speaking: Kahaynu allows Moya to speak to Zhaan directly, so the Leviathan can tell her she's willing to accept the Builders decision to end her life.
• Super Smoke: Kahaynu and the Builders.
• Swiss-Cheese Security: All this talk of guards everywhere seems an Informed Attribute given how often people barge into the private quarters of royals and diplomats to rough them up or threaten them, let alone attempt to assassinate them.
• Taken for Granite: Finally demonstrated in this episode. The machine is calibrated for Sebaceans, so while Katralla holds a regal pose, John is driven to his knees, face locked in a grimace.
• Taking You with Me: Unfortunately Braca spoils things by jumping out the airlock wearing the only spacesuit, leaving Crichton to die alone.
• Tempting Fate:
  • "You cannot strike me! I am royalty!" (John punches Prince Clavor in the face.)
  • Immediately after it's established that the Empress considers ro-NA entirely trustworthy, we see her receiving a pay-off from Scorpius. When she's flying Crichton into his clutches, she starts pondering what she would spend her money on If I Were a Rich Man.
    ro-NA: I often wonder what I would do with wealth!
    John: Well I tell you what; if there's ever anything I can do to help you find it, you let me know.
    ro-NA: (Traitor Shot) I shall remember those words, Highness...
  • Aeryn tells Crichton she's So Proud of You after his escape from the cargo ship, as it shows how he never gives up. But Crichton has given up and is going ahead with the wedding.
• That Makes Me Feel Angry: "Do not try to kill me again. That makes me angry." (Crichton holds Clavor by his large nose and forces him to nod in acceptance).
• This Is Gonna Suck: Crichton does a Face Palm when told that the machine that will turn him into a statue is calibrated only for Sebaceans, so the process will be rather painful.
• Thrown Out the Airlock: Both Braca and Crichton demonstrate voluntary versions of this, though Braca's the only one to do so with the aid of a space suit.
• To Be Continued: In a bit of a shock for audiences at the time. A midseason two-parter? Sure, everyone does that. A three-partner that isn't a season finale? All but unheard of. The episode closes on this legend over a close-up of John, now a statue, his face contorted in agony from the process.
• Villainous Rescue:
  • Crichton is saved from assassination by first a Peacekeeper Deep Cover Agent, then The Mole working for Scorpius.
  • Crichton is trapped on a spacecraft with no working comms being shot to pieces by killsats when he starts Hearing Voices—Scorpius, no less—telling him This Is No Time to Panic and to focus on a means of escape.
• V-Sign: Crichton tries to strike a Richard Nixon double-V pose when turned into a statue, but can't hold it.
• Working the Same Case: Crichton convinces Jenavian that he's also a Peacekeeper spy. It helps that the Peacekeeper intelligence agencies seem to keep their agents in the dark about this sort of thing.
• You're Insane!: Used by Braca against Crichton, who has apparently flown off the handle at that point.
  Crichton: What—you've only just figured that out? I thought it was common knowledge!