Peter gets a cell phone so he can enjoy apps, but when he gets it wet and uses the rice trick (putting the wet phone in dry rice so it'll soak up the moisture) to get it to work, Peter gives the phone to Chris...and Chris gets in trouble when he uses his newfound phone to send a dick pic to a girl in school he likes. Meanwhile, Brian discovers that Stewie is into tennis and invites himself into Stewie's tennis club, where Brian cares more about day-drinking and hitting on middle-aged divorcees rather than playing the game.
Originally aired February 14, 2016.
Tropes
- Ass Shove: A Cutaway Gag has Stewie dying from shoving a tennis trophy up his rectum.
- Bait-and-Switch: It looks like Brian and Stewie's subplot will see them lose because Brian lied about being a skilled tennis player. However, Stewie quickly finds out and pushes Brian to improve. Brian becomes legitimately skilled, but then Stewie blows it for both of them by throwing a fit over the official's call and gets tossed out for threatening the guy.
- Berserk Button: Quagmire is outraged over Peter and Joe getting the title of a song wrong.Quagmire: God, you idiots are exhausting.
- However, Stewie outshines Quagmire by losing his shit and hurling abuse at the tennis official when he makes a wrong call.
- Bowdlerization: The following scenes are edited/altered between the TV version and the DVD version:
- The cutaway of the doctors looking at Stewie's X-ray after Stewie tells Brian where he's going to stick his trophy: on the TV version, the trophy is upside-down (base in Stewie's body and top coming out of Stewie's butt), making it look like he died while trying to swallow it. On the DVD version, the trophy is right-side-up (base coming out of Stewie's butt and top inside Stewie's body), making it looked like he died of internal trauma trying to Ass Shove it.
- Stewie cursing out the line judge (which gets him kicked out the tennis club): On the TV version, Stewie's rant, "Are you shitting me? That thing was in! You're gonna penalize us because you're a blind fucking blue jacket piece of shit? I will drop you to your knees and shove my racket so far down your throat you'll be shitting my grip for a week! Oh, you're warning me? I'm warning you! I'm gonna go to your house and fuck your wife!" had both instances of "shitting", "piece of shit", "fucking", and "fuck" bleeped out.
- Didn't Think This Through: Chris asks what could go wrong before he texts the inappropriate picture of himself to the girl he likes, remarking that it worked well for many other people (with a list being provided). The thing is, all of the people mentioned are adults, while Chris is only 14. By sending that picture, he was technically distributing underage pornography, which, for reasons that shouldn't need explaining, is very illegal.
- Disaster Dominoes: Cleveland telling Peter about apps ultimately leads to Chris being declared a sex offender.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Marcy's father sees the picture of Chris' penis on her phone and presses charges. The police get involved and Chris becomes a registered sex offender.
- Then there's Stewie threatening to assault the official and screw his wife over a call disagreement.
- Does This Remind You of Anything?: Peter using an app to meet up with men to eat sandwiches is treated like the gay hookup app Grindr. Peter even eats a sandwich through a glory hole while asking the person on the other end if he's married.
- Hypocritical Humor: Still ranting over his shot being declared out, Stewie verbally abuses the security guard kicking him out of the club. When the security guard says he thought the shot was in, Stewie immediately flip-flops on his opinion of the guy.
- After Chris gets out of rehab, he greets Herbert, but Herbert (a known pedophile) calls Chris a “pervert” and flees away from him with other children… to his basement…
- As Marcy mentioned that before her father pressed charges on Chris, he was actually looking through her phone for pictures of her friends.
- Irony: After all the time he put into training Brian, Stewie himself costs them the match by blowing up at the official for a perceived out.
- Jerkass:
- Upon seeing how Chris behaves after taking chemical castration pills, Lois remarks she and Peter "rolled three gutter balls" on their kids.
- Peter is even worse, referring to Chris as "that thing", and implies that he would have been more horrified if Chris had sent the picture to a boy than a girl (with little regard to how much trouble Chris would be in either way).
- Jerkass Has a Point: Stewie could've reasonably argued that the official made the wrong call. Of course, he's ranting like a lunatic, so no one's interested in hearing him out.
- Karma Houdini: Neil is the one who gives Chris the idea to send an inappropriate picture of himself to the girl he likes. Chris ends up in big trouble as a result and nothing happens to Neil.
- Lampshade Hanging: Not sharing a scene until the very end, Peter asks Brian where he's been this week.
- Lost Aesop: Parodied. In the end, Chris says he learned chemical castration isn't for everyone. Peter questions if that's the actual lesson this week, so Brian suggests "be nicer on the tennis court" instead.
- Oh, Crap!: Lois when Joe says Chris has been declared a sex offender.
- Politically Incorrect Hero: Peter expresses relief when he finds out Chris sent a picture of his penis to a girl instead of a boy.
- Rage Breaking Point: Stewie freaks over his shot being declared out.
- Reformed, but Rejected: Chris is driven to take chemical castration pills because everyone treats him like a freaky pervert despite completing rehab.
- Shout-Out: The title is parody of the opening to the phrase "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
- Take That!:
- Before Chris sends the photo, he's about to say this kind of action worked out for others, but then the episode cuts to a list of celebrities who have had nude and personal photos leaked. Examples are celebrities Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lawrence, Brett Favre, Paris Hilton, Emily Ratajkowski, Kate Upton, Anthony Weiner, Iggy Azalea, Justin Bieber, Aubrey Plaza, Kate Bosworth, Chris Brown, Vanessa Hudgens, Hope Solo, Kaley Cuoco, Abigail Spencer, Diplo, Amber Heard, Olivia Munn, Selena Gomez, Lil' Romeo, Scarlett Johansson, Kanye West, Gabrielle Union, Adrienne Bailon, Hayden Panettiere, Justin Verlander, AJ Michalka, Aly Michalka, Lake Bell, Victoria Justice, Ashley Greene, Cheyenne Jackson, Kirsten Dunst, Becca Tobin, Cara Delevingne, Greg Oden, Melissa Benoist, Alana Blanchard, Ali Michael, Lea Michele, Tito Ortiz, Allegra Carpenter, Krysten Ritter, Hayley Williams, Martellus Bennett, Avril Lavigne, Kat Dennings, Chris Cooley, and Amanda Fuller.
- Peter breaks wind into Cleveland's phone app, which identifies the sound as singer Lana Del Rey.
- Truth in Television: Believe it or not, everything that happened to Chris has actually happened in real life. Sexting explicit pictures of yourself if you're underage is illegal and is something young people have been arrested for.
- Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Peter gave his cellphone to Chris because it stopped working. Meg then suggested a remedy that Chris could try to fix it, inadvertently helping set the stage for what gets him in trouble.
- Also Neil for suggesting that Chris sext in the first place. If the latter had just spoken to her in person or even if he texted her something far more innocuous, his troubles could have been avoided. More frustratingly, he completely disappears from the episode after this scene, even though he could have gotten in trouble himself.
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong?: Chris asks this before sending his dick pic.
