"Iris Wildthyme, Iris the itinerant journal-keeper and dogger of the Doctor's footsteps."
The Doctor and Sam arrive on the planet of Hyspero, a Mystical India sort of place where stories have power and magic is real. Sam decides to do some wandering in a graveyard inexplicably placed in the middle of the city and stumbles across something very unusual indeed: a red double-decker bus, just like the ones at home in London, specifically the number 22 to Putney Common. Like any good companion, she lets curiosity get in the way of common sense, and climbs aboard to check things out. She's greeted by a Bound and Gagged alligator man named Gila who insists he's been abducted by a madwoman. A woman called Iris Wildthyme. Sam gets the Doctor and the two of them free Gila and set off to find Iris, who's been set upon by Gila's attack dogs in an attempt to prevent his abduction. The Doctor rescues Iris and gets Gila to call off his dogs, then prompts Iris to explain just what exactly is going on. It turns out she is on a mission for the mysterious Scarlet Empress, ruler of all of Hyspero, to bring four assassins, one of whom is Gila, The Albino Alligator Man, back together for unexplained reasons.
Tropes present in The Scarlet Empress include:
- Beast Man: In several varieties. The shaved golden bears of the Forest of Kesteven, the Birds of Paradise, Gila and his people... Hyspero has an extremely diverse population.
- Contemplate Our Navels: The Mock Turtle inside the whale. A group of feminist starfish tries to divert Sam into a spot of this as well.
- Easy Amnesia: Eight. Imagine our surprise.
- Four-Temperament Ensemble: Iris is Sanguine, the unrelentlessly optimistic and carefree leader of the expedition (it's technically her quest). Sam, who pulls her weight and just goes along with all the weird stuff, is Phlegmatic. The Doctor takes on the role of planner and carer, de facto leading the group as befits a responsible Melancholic, and Gila, who rants, yells and undermines Iris's leadership and Doctor's competence, is Choleric.
- Fusion Dance: The spider and the Cyborg Duchess.
- Giant Spiders: Larger than the Doctor and Sam together (he's unpleasantly reminded of Metebelis III).
- God Save Us from the Queen!: The titular Scarlet Empress.
- Handicapped Badass: Major Angela, a blind ex-mercenary, and Iris, who’s eventually stuck in a wheelchair due to the effects of having eaten a poisonous Kaled mutant.
- Hero of Another Story: Iris. Prompting a very meta conversation with the Doctor over who gets to claim ownership of adventures they both believe they have had.
- Hidden Elf Village: Fortalice. And they like it this way.
- Holding the Floor:Iris told her long story, unspooling the endless tale of her earliest adventures. She had them hooked.
- Interspecies Romance'Don't be ridiculous,' Major Angela snapped, her face a picture of disgust. 'A cyborg can't fall in love with a spider.'
- Let's Split Up, Gang!: They split up in Fortalice to get more things done (Sam and Gila go to buy supplies, while the Doctor and Iris hunt for information), and plot keeps the two groups apart for a good couple of chapters.
- Mix-and-Match Critters: The Mock Turtle, which is part calf. Other hysperian fauna tends to be strange, too.
- Magic Map: Sam and Gila find a fresco that depicts not only the cartographical features of Hyspero, but also themselves and their misplaced companions.
- Magical Realism: A whimsy, dreamy, surreal romp through a whimsy, dreamy, surreal world, generously peppered with little bits of modern philosophy. In a book by Paul Magrs, this is to be expected.
- Multiple Narrative Modes: Most of the story is told in the third person, but there are bits narrated by Iris or the Doctor in First-Person Perspective with some of their thoughts on life, universe and each other bleeding in.
- Narrative Profanity Filter: Lampshaded TropeSam swore. The Doctor wheeled around. 'Sam, I'd much prefer it if you simply screamed blue murder rather than use language like -'
- New Old Flame: Iris. Just a part of her charm, really.
- Oracular Head: Several instances in Sam's dream and out of it.
- Pirate Girl: Julia, captain of a pirate ship, who wears a leather outfit and also happens to be a princess.
- Road Trip Plot
- Sense Loss Sadness: Why the Duchess is The Stoic:'I would give a great deal,' said the Duchess solemnly, 'to feel endangered. To wear flesh on the outside once more.You do not know how precious that is.'
- Shout-Out: Both to pop culture and to philosophy (Iris name-drops Michel Foucault), these abound.Gila: Is Star Wars another of your offworld references?
- Subverted Catchphrase: "But it's the same size on the inside as it is on the outside!"
- Telepathy: Used for surveillance and plot. Also for Breaking the Fourth Wall:'Call it a little narratological sleight of hand, sweetheart,' I whisper. 'One of the perks of first-person narration, (...) And here I am, able - blithe and willing - to slip into your thoughts.
- A True Story in My Universe: This book is mentioned in the Doctor Who Magazine short story Bafflement and Devotion'' where an in-universe Paul Magrs mentioned that he based the story on the actual Doctor and Iris' adventures.
- Undead Author: Lampshaded by Iris, who notes that if she's telling her story, you'd probably assume she lived to tell the tale.
- Wacky Wayside Tribe: The group constantly gets diverted off their intended course by a festival in Fortalice, mysterious ladies, feminist starfish, birds of paradise that want stories... Needless to say, the book would be a great deal shorter if Iris's quest ran more smoothly.'I hate being derailed like this,' the Doctor said.
