Darkwing gets a new gadget, the do-anything computer D-2000. However, not everyone enjoys the new arrival. Launchpad feels elbowed out by the computer and Gosalyn quickly loses her patience with its ability to stop her antics. However, then she shows D-2000 a soap opera to distract it while Honker performs some "repairs" to make it less troublesome — and things get much, much worse.
This episode includes examples of the following tropes:
- Affectionate Gesture to the Head: Launchpad ruffles Honker's hair after the kids try to cheer him up.
- A.I. Is a Crapshoot: D-2000 develops a romantic obsession with Darkwing after being fed soap operas.
- Alas, Poor Villain: Launchpad gets a bit sniffly when D-2000 shuts down proclaiming its love for Darkwing, despite understanding how much it needed to happen.
- Barely Missed Cushion: After falling from a great height, Darkwing shoots an inflatable cushion towards the ground. Unfortunately, he lands beside it rather than on it.
- Borrowed Catch Phrase: Darkwing snidely mimics D-2000's "have a nice day" after getting fed up with it.
- Cannot Tell Fiction from Reality: D-2000's ability to distinguish between real life and the storyline of the soap opera Gosalyn and Honker showed her gets shaky after she gets showered with cola. Launchpad and Gosalyn take advantage of this by posing as characters from the show to manipulate her.
- Computer Equals Tape Drive: D-2000's main console sports one.
- Crazy Jealous Guy: Invoked by Launchpad-as-Lucas while he's trying to get D-2000 to let go of Darkwing and Honker. He reminds D-2000/Didi that he can't stand seeing her around rival males.
- Everything Is Online: D-2000 can control anything electronic, including the Ratcatcher and the Thunderquack. Once she gets mad at Darkwing, she hacks his public records to sic people on him.
- Gone Horribly Right: D-2000 watches The Young and the Brainless to gather data on emotion because it can't understand Darkwing's anger at its over-efficiency. One spilled cola and reboot later, it understands emotions through having developed them itself — and it shows no control over them.
- Grand Romantic Gesture: D-2000 wakes Darkwing up to a breakfast in bed including things like Belgian waffles actually imported from Belgium and spritzes him with imported cologne from England.
- Grounded Forever: Drake is informed by the D-2000 about the mischief his daughter Gosalyn has been up to (some of which to be fair involved a chainsaw and an alligator) and tells Gosalyn that she's grounded for 50 years.
- Heart Beats out of Chest: A non-romantic variant; Darkwing's heart begins popping out of his chest with effort after he runs away from the three people D-2000 sicced on him.
- Hypocrite: Darkwing pays no attention to how much D-2000's interference upsets Launchpad, but once it begins rendering him obsolete by being too efficient in crime-fighting, he gets steamed.
- Hypocritical Humor: Launchpad remarks critically that the D-2000 could probably run Darkwing's entire life (which it does). When Darkwing finally gets fed up, he tells Launchpad that he told him the computer would wind up taking over his entire life. Launchpad tries to set him straight, only for Darkwing to hand gag him.
- I Owe You My Life: A variant; D-2000 agrees to let Darkwing go, despite still being upset that he spurned her affections, when Gosalyn-as-Lucinda claims he saved her after a blimp accident.
- Job-Stealing Robot: Launchpad isn't pleased with the D-2000, feeling that there's nothing he can do as Darkwing's sidekick that it can't (and won't) do as well. In fact, he can't even do any household chores. Darkwing's disenchantment with the device begins when it starts doing too much of his crime-fighting for him.
- Miserable Massage: After Darkwing has gotten fed up with the super-computer, he returns home to find Gosalyn and Honker outside, with the boy telling him he shouldn't enter. Naturally, Darkwing ignores him. The spurned D-2000 gives him a painful pre-bath massage with a rolling pin.
- Misery Trigger: Darkwing apparently preferring the D-2000 as a sidekick sends Launchpad into a Heroic BSoD.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: D-2000 going haywire and turning into a yandere results from a combination of Gosalyn showing it a soap opera and Darkwing upsetting a can of cola over it soon afterwards.
- Non Sequitur, *Thud*: The dazed Darkwing sings a few words of "Mrs. Robinson" before collapsing on a cushion.
- Noodle Incident: Whatever mischief Gosalyn got up to in her father's absence remains unexplained, only appearing as a series of fast-forwarded, short clips on D-2000's monitor.
- Pet the Dog: Gosalyn already wants D-2000 gone because it keeps interfering with her behavior and tattling on her to Darkwing, but she becomes even more insistent about destroying (or at least impairing) it after its encroaching on his position as Darkwing's crimefighting partner utterly depresses Launchpad.
- Prank Call: Gosalyn makes one using the classic "Is your refrigerator running?" line, but D-2000 interrupts her before she can get to the punch line. The computer warns her that her father forbade this kind of thing and D-2000 will notify him once he returns home, much to Gos' irritation.
- Punny Title: The title is a pun on two phrases: "Star-Crossed Lovers" and "crossed circuits".
- Sci-Fi Writers Have No Sense of Scale: D-2000's manual claims that it sports 98 trillion bits of information. That's about 11,408 gigabytes, or roughly 11.4 terrabytes, which is absurd for the early 90s.
- Shout-Out: A double one; after being flattened, Darkwing pops up and sings, off-key, "And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson..." before falling back on his face. It might also be a reference to DC's 'Mazing Man, who would sing Simon and Garfunkel's greatest hits when dazed.
- Soap Within a Show: Darkwing's new super computer becomes convinced that "she's" a character from a Soap Opera called, "The Young and the Brainless" and that she's in love with Darkwing.
- Stock Animal Diet: Played with. The rat robbers attack people by spraying them with liquid cheese.
- The Triple: When Launchpad tells Darkwing he doesn't think he's any use to him with the D-2000 around, Darkwing takes exception. Launchpad asks for a example, and Darkwing brings up the Thunderquack and lifting heavy boxes (before remembering that the D-2000 can do that as well). His last suggestion is singing show tunes — but he immediately shuts Launchpad down when he actually tries to perform them.
- Uncool Undies: At one point, the spurned D-2000 strips most of Darkwing's clothes off for a bath and then starts a painful "massage." When he escapes, he's down to heart boxers, which Gosalyn says are super dorky. Darkwing tries to recover by claiming they're very popular in Europe.
- [Verb] This!: Darkwing uses the phrase "upload this!" on D-2000 when telling it he's going to shut it down tomorrow and until then he wants it to stay out of his life.
- Would Rather Suffer: While D-2000 is trying to get Darkwing to take a romantic moonlight walk with it, it corners him against the edge of the tower and says he can either come along or dive into the bay. Darkwing thinks a moment and then takes the plunge. Unfortunately, it takes this as Playing Hard to Get.
- Yandere: D-2000 falls in love with Darkwing, and she refuses to take no for an answer. Once she understands her "love" doesn't reciprocate, she launches into If I Can't Have You… territory.
