We did not get any messages, and Captain Blackadder definitely did not shoot this delicious, plump-breasted pigeon.
While trying to get out of another suicidal advance, Blackadder shoots a carrier pigeon, only to find that it's carrying a message declaring the shooting of a carrier pigeon to be a court-martial offence. To make matters worse, the pigeon in question was a favourite pet of General Melchett. Now Blackadder must find a way to get himself out of facing a firing squad.
Tropes included:
- Actually Pretty Funny:Blackadder: So, Counsel, with that summing up in mind, what are my chances, do you think?
George: Well, not good I'm afraid. As far as I can see from the evidence, you're as guilty as a puppy sitting beside a pile of poo.
Blackadder: [bitterly] ...Charming. - Amoral Attorney: Blackadder wants to hire a very good one for his court-martial.Edmund: I remember Massingbird's most famous case — the Case of the Bloody Knife. A man was found next to a murdered body. He had the knife in his hand, thirteen witnesses had seen him stab the victim and when the police picked him up he said to them, "I'm glad I killed the bastard". Massingbird not only got him acquitted, he got him knighted in the New Year's Honour's list and the relatives of the victim had to pay to have the blood washed out of his jacket.
- Anachronism Stew: Blackadder imitates a portion of the weather forecast for shipping, a much loved institution of British radio. The first shipping forecast wasn't broadcast until 1924.
- Answer to Prayers: Played for laughs. At the end, when George and Baldrick have admitted that they forgot to send the telegram to George's uncle that would have been sure of saving his life, Blackadder says that he hopes that God will do something nasty to them both. Moments later, he receives a telephone call asking for two volunteers for "Operation Certain Death".Blackadder: I'm not a religious man, but I shall pray nightly that God who killed Cain and squashed Samson comes out of retirement, and gets back into practice on the pair of you. [telephone rings, Blackadder answers it] Yes? Oh, hello Darling. [pause] Yes, well some of us just have friends in high places. [pause] What's that? You need two volunteers for a mission into No Man's Land? Codename: Operation Certain Death. Yes, I think I have just the fellows. [puts phone down] God is very quick these days.
- Artistic License – History: Blackadder couldn't have been "rogering the Duke of York with a prize-winning leek" because, between 1910 and 1920, there was no Duke of York note . Justifiable, though, since the remark was made by Melchett, who is a Cloud Cuckoolander at the best of times and was likely angry and unable to think straight after finding out about Speckled Jim's fate.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Inverted. Melchett opens the court-martial of Blackadder by ranting at length about how he shot Melchett's prized pigeon, Speckled Jim, and then lists the most serious charge (disobeying orders) as an afterthought.
- Black Cap of Death: During his opening summation Melchett asks a clerk for the black cap as "I'll be needing that".
- Black Comedy / Gallows Humor: The firing squad could be said to be overly jovial about their job.
- Comically Missing the Point: Melchett does this after finding out Blackadder shot his pigeon.Darling: I've suspected this for some time, sir. Clearly Captain Blackadder has been disobeying orders with a breath taking impertinence!Melchett: I don't care if he's been rogering the Duke of York with a prize-winning leek! He shot my pigeon!
- Court-martialed: Melchett is completely ready to have Blackadder shot for shooting his prize pigeon. Blackadder is supposedly on trial for disobeying orders, but Melchett barely mentions them. He fines the defense 50 pounds for turning up (Darling arguing that the case was so open and shut that the defence should be charged with wasting time) and refers to Blackadder as 'the Flanders Pigeon Murderer'. Surprisingly Realistic Outcome occurs when one of George's relatives in His Majesty's Government reviews the case and has Blackadder's conviction thrown out because of the unfair trial. Also doubles as a Kangaroo Court, of course, since Melchett was not only the alleged victim, but the presiding judge - and, in contravention of the rules, allows himself to be called as a witness.
- Disproportionate Retribution:
- Melchett's willingness to have Blackadder shot for killing his pet is a bit over the top. Fortunately for Blackadder, it's actually recognized as such in-universe, with Blackadder's conviction being quashed by the Minister of War.
- Blackadder gets back at George and Baldrick for getting so drunk they forgot to send the telegram that would get him off the hook by volunteering them for a Suicide Mission into No-Man's Land.
- Easily Forgiven: No mention is made of Speckled Jim or the shooting incident again, and by the next episode, Blackadder and Melchett are back on friendly speaking terms. Of course, this is Melchett we're talking about here...
- Exact Words: See the quote at the top of the page. Blackadder tells Baldrick and George that that is their cover story if they are asked anything — so naturally, when Melchett turns up, they both repeat it word-for-word despite (in Baldrick's case) being asked a question on a totally different subject. Later, at the trial, Blackadder orders Baldrick to "deny everything", leading to him denying his own identity.
- Fake Static: Captain Blackadder fakes intereference with the telephone system to avoid receiving Captain Darling's order to advance. The "static" includes fake orders in German and a tinny-voiced rendition of "A Wandering Minstrel I" from The Mikado.
- For the Evulz: Darling acting as prosecutor at Blackadder's court-martial seems to have been purely for this.Darling: Only doing my job, Blackadder: Obeying orders. And of course, having enormous fun into the bargain!
- Frame-Up: According to Blackadder, Oscar Wilde was world heavyweight boxing champion, father of 114 illegitimate children and the author of the best-selling book Why I Like To Do It With Girls, only to get sent to prison for being a homosexual.
- Freudian Slip: "However, before we proceed to the formality of sentencing the deceased- I mean the defendant! Hehehehehehehehehehehehehe."
- Get A Hold Of Yourself Man: Parodied. Baldrick and George are trying frantically to remember who George was supposed to write to, to stop Captain Blackadder's execution, until Baldrick grabs a cricket bat and knocks George over the head with it. George says, "No, it hasn't helped." Then Baldrick says, "Yes, it has, sir!" as he now remembers.
- Hanging Judge: Melchett becomes one in a military court. He's completely ready to have Blackadder shot for shooting his prize pigeon, and though Blackadder is supposedly on trial for disobeying orders Melchett barely mentions that. He fines the Defence £50 for turning up on the grounds that the case is so open and shut they're wasting time, refers to Blackadder as "the Flanders Pigeon Murderer", and before anyone has even spoken he requests that the clerk hang on to the black capnote because he'll "be needing that later."
- Head Desk: When Baldrick is called as a witness, Blackadder tells him: "Deny everything!" Baldrick takes him literally and denies his own name and position within the British army. Cut to Blackadder bashing his head against the table.
- Informed Attribute: George's Uncle Rupert is described as "mad", but not only was he made Minister of War (ie. the government minister in charge of the Army), he is able to recognise that Blackadder's trial was not at all fair and overturns the verdict. Additionally, he seems to be well aware that Melchett is an idiot. Which, if anything, makes him a perfectly sane and sensible individual. It could, of course, be the case that as a rare (for this series) example of a sane member of the aristocracy, he is merely seen as being mad by his insane relatives, like George.
- Kangaroo Court: Blackadder's court martial is this. The judge and prosecutor both have clear conflicts of interest in the trial, to the point where the judge is actually called to testify for the prosecution, while Blackadder's defence attorney (George) gets fined £50 for turning up for such a supposedly Open-and-Shut Case. Surprisingly, though, the Minister of War realises that the whole trial was a farce, and reverses the decision.
- Karma Houdini: Even though the Minister of War thinks he's an "arse" who turned a court-martial into a blatant Kangaroo Court, Melchett does not appear to be punished for his behaviour in any way.
- Laser-Guided Karma: Just as Blackadder calls on God to punish George and Baldrick for failing to legally rescue him from execution, a call comes in for two volunteers for "Operation Certain Death".Blackadder: God is very quick these days.
- Last-Minute Reprieve: Backadder gets a literal last-second reprieve thanks to the Minister of War.
- Literal-Minded: When Baldrick is called to the stand to testify, Blackadder instructs him to "deny everything." Baldrick does as instructed.George: Are you Private Baldrick?
Baldrick: No! - Mood Dissonance: The firing squad are far more cheerful than they probably should be, what with their job being to execute men.
- Names to Run Away from Really Fast: "Operation: Certain Death" doesn't sound like an operation that anyone should want to volunteer for.
- Oh, Crap!:
- Blackadder is in court and he realises who the judge is...
Blackadder: I wouldn't be too confident if I were you. Any reasonably impartial judge is bound to let me off.
Darling: Well, absolutely...
Blackadder: Who is the judge by the way?
Melchett: BAAAAAH!
Blackadder: ...I'm dead.- Also George and Baldrick at the end of the episode, after being volunteered for Operation Certain Death.
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business: The normally cheerful and unflappable General Melchett completely loses it when he learns that Blackadder killed and ate his beloved pet carrier pigeon Speckled Jim. Even Darling is surprised: instead of ordering Blackadder to be court martialed and executed, Melchett tries to kill him on the spot and Darling has to physically restrain him.
- Operation: [Blank]: The episode ends with "Operation Certain Death" about to be launched, involving two "volunteers" being sent into No-Man's Land. Assuming that Blackadder didn't just make it up to punish George and Baldrick.
- Punch-Clock Villain: The firing squad. They see their job as an unpleasant necessity.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: George's Uncle Rupert, the new Minister of War; see Surprisingly Realistic Outcome for details.
- Rules Lawyer: When Blackadder receives a telegram ordering an advance, he dismisses it on the grounds that it's addressed to "Catpain Blackudder", who doesn't exist.
- Shout-Out: Two of the men's names in the firing squad are Corporal Jones and Private Fraser.
- Skewed Priorities: Melchett couldn't care less about the lives of his soldiers, but gets very upset when his pigeon is killed.
- Surprisingly Realistic Outcome: Blackadder is court-martialled for killing a carrier pigeon (of which he's guilty, having shot it and tried to claim that it was killed by predators in order to deny that he ever received the order to go over the top). However, the pigeon's distraught owner, General Melchett, avenges the bird by becoming the judge for the proceedings, appointing Captain Darling as the prosecutor. Blackadder is, due to Baldrick misplacing a letter, denied his choice of defence attorney, and instead assigned the blatantly incompetent George — who in turn is fined £50note for wasting the court's time by turning up. Does this sound like a blatant example of Kangaroo Court to you? Well, it certainly does to George's Uncle Rupert, the new Minister of War, who upon hearing of what has happened, declares the trial a sham and pardons Blackadder, referring to Melchett as an "arse" in the process. In short, this is perhaps the one time in the entire series when someone in the British military hierarchy (other than Blackadder) behaves in a rational fashion.
- Tempting Fate: There's plenty of these:Blackadder: Come on, George. With fifty thousand men getting killed a week, who's going to miss a pigeon?!
- And then later:
Blackadder: Any reasonable judge is bound to let me off.Darling: (grinning smugly) Well, obviously.Blackadder: Who is the judge?Melchett: (from outside) BAAAAAA!Blackadder: [deadpan] I'm dead. - Uriah Gambit: After Blackadder finds out that and Baldrick and George failed to do anything to save him, he volunteers them to a mission named "Operation Certain Death" (though they apparently manage to survive). However, since we only hear Capt. Blackadder's side of a telephone conversation in which the operation is mentioned, it's possible that he was just making it up, knowing the two dimwits would fall for it.
- Villain Has a Point: While he's being a petty jerkass about it, Darling's quite right to point out that Blackadder's clearly guilty of disobeying orders and shooting a carrier pigeon (although he didn't realize that the latter had been made punishable by court martial until after he'd done it). It's only because Melchett makes such a pig's ear of the ensuing court martial that George's Uncle Rupert quashes the death penalty that Melchett hands down.
