Well, My Lord, while Baldrick and I were preparing the Turnip Surprise, we had a surprise — we came across a turnip that was exactly the same shape as a thingy!
God pats Edmund on the head and says "Good boy, Edmund". His aunt and uncle, Lord and Lady Whiteadder, the two most fanatical Puritans in England, are coming to dinner to discuss his inheritance. But all is not well; Edmund has inadvertently bet Lord Melchett ten thousand florins that he can outdrink him, and has agreed to host the drinking party on the same night. And of course, Edmund famously can't hold his liquor. On top of all that, Queenie has decided to spy on "the boys" to see what really goes on at these drinking parties of theirs. So Edmund must host two parties in one night, convince his puritanical aunt he is a model Christian, and win his bet with Lord Melchett, without consuming a drop of alcohol. This calls for a cunning plan, and an amusingly-shaped turnip...
Tropes
- Actually Pretty Funny:
- Percy manages to get a grin out of Lady Whiteadder by cracking a dirty joke about Catholics: "They do have natural rhythm!"
- When he's about to leave, Lord Whiteadder admits that he loved the turnip: "Exactly the same shape as a thingy!"
- Alcohol Hic: Pretty much everyone ends up drunk — including the Balladeer, who hiccups during his song at the end.
- Ambiguous Syntax: Blackadder tells Baldrick to get the door. He returns to the room with a door in his hands.
- Amusingly Short List: Percy's guest list is coming along very well indeed. There's his girlfriend Gwendoline, whom Blackadder immediately vetoes ("No chicks!") and that's as far as he's gotten.
- Anachronism Stew: The original English florin coin had been withdrawn in 1344. No coin called a florin circulated in England again until 1849.
- Cardinal Wolsey, suggested by Percy as a party guest, died in 1530, about thirty years before the episode is set.
- Artistic License – History: Austria was an Archduchy held by the Holy Roman Emperor, not a Kingdom.
- Badass Boast: "I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach...of a concrete elephant!"
- Bawdy Song:
- The unheard "I'm Merlin the Happy Pig."
- Edmund's partly-heard goblin song. Think about it: the "nosey-wose" is a certain something found between men's legs, and the "feet" are two certain somethings on each side of it ... And, of course, "Isn't the goblin (gobbling) sweet?" — "YES!!!"
- Plus one that definitely is:Queenie: And [Melchett was] singing a song about a girl who possessed something called a "dickie di-do".
Edmund: Oh yes. It's a lovely old hymn, isn't it. - This is a relatively tame verse of the song referred to above:It took a coal miner,
To find her vagina,
for the hairs on her dickie-di-do hung down to her knees.- To read the whole thing, go here
- To read the whole thing, go here
- Bitch Slap: Lady Whiteadder's go-to method of admonishment, usually coupled with a bellow of "WICKED CHILD!", is to slap Edmund or Percy twice in the face before lecturing them. When Edmund drunkenly insults her, she raises her hand in fury — then realizes he's across the room, and settles for slapping the much closer Percy instead.
- Brick Joke: The thingy-shaped turnip.
- Buffy Speak: When calling Blackadder out on the fact that he's not been drinking and is being rather evasive, Melchett tells him that he "twists and turns like a twisty-turny thing". Justified by the fact that by this point, Melchy's had a few.
- Can't Hold His Liquor:
- Edmund. One sip of the booze and within 43 seconds he's singing about goblins.
- Queenie, by inference, considering she threatened to execute everyone at the party, but apparently forgot all about it after taking just a "little drinkie".
- To be fair, the "little drinkie" was from a tankard about the size of her head. Besides, changing her mind about executing someone wouldn't be out of character for her.
- Despite Blackadder calling Melchett out for this at the start of the episode, out of all the episode's characters he actually seems the most able to tolerate alcohol (not counting the three guests Blackadder invites for the booze-up, who had clearly been drinking before they even arrived). While Melchett gets drunk fairly quickly (unsurprising really, given that he's barely recovered from a heavy session the previous night), he remains coherent and observant enough to notice that Blackadder isn't honouring their bet, and forces him to do so.
- The Balladeer mocks Blackadder for this during the end credits ... but by the end of the song he's badly slurring his words due to being "well and truly plastered".
- Casting Gag: Miriam Margolyes, who plays Lady Whiteadder, is well-known for being almost the exact opposite of her character here, but even more importantly for this trope, is one of the very first people to say "Fuck" on British television, having uttered it in a moment of frustration when she appeared on University Challenge in 1963.
- Catchphrase: Lady Whiteadder — "Wicked child!"
- Curse Cut Short: "Luck! sounds almost exactly like fu—" [cut to credits]
- Didn't Think This Through: Blackadder winds up challenging Melchett to a drinking competition, which the Queen announces would be that evening, with 10 000 florins from the loser (which Blackadder doesn't have), and while Blackadder is busy arranging drinking guests for the party, Percy chimes up with the Whiteadders are coming too, since they invited themselves to dinner the same evening. Blackadder does try to petition the Queen to have the party another night, but she won't have it.
- Don't Explain the Joke: One of the drinking party guests, Simon "Farters Parters" Patridge, does pretty much nothing but this. ("Wahey! Geddit? Sounds a bit rude!") He is deflated when he tries this with "bum", before realising it is a rude word in itself.
- Drunken Song: Edmund tends to sing about goblins when he gets drunk. Melchett sings an even ruder song. And the Balladeer at the end is also drunk.
- Dry Crusader: Lord and Lady Whiteadder are these (at least until the end of the episode).Edmund: A little drink, first?Lady Whiteadder: Drink?! Wicked child! Drink is urine from the last leper in Hell!
- Everyone Is Satan in Hell: The Whiteadders are this trope, in its in-universe form. They may be getting better, now that Lord Whiteadder has broken his vow of silence and they've both discovered the joys of drinking alcohol.
- Exotic Equipment: As a counterpart to the thingy turnip, Baldrick claims that his penis is shaped exactly like a turnip. He uses it as a party trick.
- Failed a Spot Check: Blackadder is in such a hurry to get rid of "Gwendolyn" he fails to notice she looks an awful lot like the Queen.
- Fake Boobs: Apparently it's traditional to wear a pair of fake, comedy breasts while out drinking. Blackadder chides Melchett for not wearing any only for Melchett to reveal an enormous golden pair under his coat. Lady Whiteadder refers to Edmund's as 'Devil's Dumplings', which he then attempts to pretend are, in fact, earmuffs which have slipped down. The trope image is a photograph of Stephen Fry modelling the prop in a retrospective documentary.
- Freudian Slippery Slope: Blackadder greeting his wealthy aunt and uncle (though it's likely he was doing it on purpose to less-than-subtly drop hints that he wanted to discuss his inheritance):"Well, I hope you had a pleasant inheritance. Did I say 'inheritance'? I meant journey. If you'd just like to help yourself to a legacy. A-a chair."
- The Fundamentalist: Lord and Lady Whiteadder.
- Funny Background Event: As a heavily sloshed Blackadder insults Lady Whiteadder while in front of the camera, Percy sits in the background with an ever-increasing look of sheer despair (including nearly breaking out into sobs, and at one point mouthing along to what Edmund says).
- Gilligan Cut: Queenie threatens to kill everyone at Edmund's party, after a drink. Cut to next morning with everyone, Queenie and the Whiteadders included, smashed out of their gourds.
- Hangover Sensitivity: Melchett may be better at handling his booze than Blackadder but he ends up with a nasty hangover the next day.
- Henpecked Husband: Lord Whiteadder appears to be this, considering that he has to sit on a spike instead of a chair and Lady Whiteadder in turn sits on him, and he seems to approve of things that his wife considers the work of Satan. One can imagine that he took his vow of silence just to give his wife fewer excuses to slap him around (especially as we later find he doesn't keep to his vow when not in her company).
- Hidden Depths: Melchett has an almost heroic capacity for booze, holding his own against the three biggest piss-heads in England after barely recovering from a booze-up the night before. He does get bad hangovers, though.
- Historical In-Joke: Queenie recites the historical Elizabeth's "I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman" line, only this time the conclusion is "I have the heart and stomach of a concrete elephant".
- Holier Than Thou: The Whiteadders, again.
- I Can Explain: The first time, although it takes a minute of rapt thought to explain the drunken Freddie Frobisher shouting "Great booze up, Edmund!" The second time ... "I can't. Not just like that."
- Implausible Deniability: While attempting to hold a drinking party and a dinner for his extremely Puritan relatives on the same night in the same house, one of Edmund's drunken friends bursts into the same room as Lord and Lady Whiteadder and declares "Great booze-up, Edmund!" Edmund attempts to paper over this by first denying even knowing the drunk, then claiming that he was actually a missionary sent to deal with a narcoleptic tribesman named "the Great Boo"...
- Innocent Innuendo:
- Queenie says she was awakened by "a terrific banging by Lord Melchett". Edmund says "never knew he had it in him."
- Also, Lady Whiteadder is served the thingy turnip (it being the only one that wasn't mashed, and she insists on having a raw one) and says it takes her back to her wedding night. "We ate raw turnips that night, too."
- Insult Backfire: Lady Whiteadder asks Percy if anyone has ever told him he's a giggling imbecile. Percy responds that he has in fact been told this. It takes her a moment to recover, and all she can say is "good".
- Kick the Dog: Since Edmund is too far away for her to whack for getting drunk, Lady Whiteadder settles for slapping Percy instead.
- Kill It with Fire: According to Lady Whiteadder, "Cold is God's way of telling us to burn more Catholics!"
- King Incognito: Queenie shows up for Edmund's drinking party, wearing a black cloak to disguise herself as a man.
- Large Ham: Lady Whiteadder. Both verbally and physically (due to the nature of her costume).Lady Whiteadder: Where there are guests, there are people to fornicate with!
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Queenie, as she prepares to have a "little drinkie".
- Light Is Not Good: Lady Whiteadder. One would think her religiousness and piety would make her the Token Good Teammate of the Blackadder family. Turns out her fundamentalism and Holier Than Thou attitude makes her actually a lot worse. However, Lord Whiteadder is a decent fellow, but he has undergone a vow of silence, which he breaks by complimenting the visit.
- Noodle Incident: According to Melchett, during the King of Austria's state visit, Blackadder got drunk at Hampton Court Palace and was later found naked, singing "I'm Merlin the Happy Pig!"
- Not So Above It All:
- After four episodes of seeming like the (relative) Only Sane Man of the royal court, Melchett turns out to be a capable boozer.
- Puritanical Lord Whiteadder admits he enjoyed the thingy-shaped turnip. And he and his wife both end up getting drunk with everyone else.
- Oblivious to His Own Description: Lord Whiteadder briefly pops his head around the door to thank Edmund for a thoroughly entertaining evening, adding that he particularly enjoyed Edmund's jester, looking at Percy as he does so, prompting Percy to look behind him for said jester.
- Oh, Crap!: A couple.
- Percy's reaction to Edmund walking back into dinner with the Whiteadders wearing a pair of false breasts.
- Everyone — Puritans and drunkards alike — has this reaction when they realise that they're dealing with the Queen, not a stripper who's dressed like her.
- Oh, No... Not Again!: Melchett has this reaction when it is declared that the drinking contest between him and Blackadder will take place that very evening, which is understandable as he's incredibly hungover from the night before. Despite this, he ends up being more than able to keep up with the piss-heads Blackadder invites along.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: Queenie and her cloak. It actually works. Somewhat justified by the fact that everyone else is drunk, or distracted by the difficult job of keeping the drinking party and the Puritan dinner apart.
- Punctuated Pounding: Or slapping, by Lady Whiteadder to Blackadder's face when she calls him a 'wicked child!'.
- Seamless Spontaneous Lie: When a guest at the drinking contest wanders into dinner with the Whiteadders and says "Great booze-up, Edmund", he has to think on his feet.Edmund: My friend is a missionary, and on his last visit abroad he brought back with him the chief of a famous tribe. His name is Great Boo. He's been suffering from sleeping sickness, and he's obviously just woken, because as you've heard, "Great Boo's up".
- Shave And A Haircut: Queenie knocks on the door, and Percy seems to do the "two bits" part.
- Spotting the Thread: Despite being pissed, Melchett notices that Edmund hasn't been drinking, and calls him out on this.
- Strange Minds Think Alike: Edmund claims his "incredibly strong ale" will "knock the backside off a concrete elephant." Later, the Queen boasts that she has "the heart and stomach of a concrete elephant." Given that she ends up as smashed as everyone else the next morning, either she's lying too, or whatever drink she picks up really is as strong as Edmund's fictional ale.
- Two-Timer Date: Edmund's two parties — one is a solemn, Puritan occasion with the Whiteadders, the other a wall-to-wall piss-up with Lord Melchett and three of the most disreputable men in England.
- Unusual Euphemism: Lady Whiteadder calls breasts 'devil's dumplings'.
- The Voiceless: Lord Whiteadder, due to his vow of silence. He does speak at the end, telling Edmund how much he enjoyed the dinner party, and how he was amused by the thingy turnip.
- Vomit Discretion Shot: Friar Frobisher runs into the room and vomits into the fireplace. The man has his back to the camera so we don't see the vomit. At least, that was the intention; it turned out the angle was not perfect for this and it's obvious that the actor is not really vomiting at all.
- Blackadder couldn't hold his beer,
The art of boozing he's not mastered.
And I, your merry balladeer,
Am also well and truly plastered.
