"I was wondering if you could do me a little favour...?"
Morris dancing is the most fatuous, tenth-rate entertainment ever devised by man. Forty effeminate blacksmiths waving bits of cloth they've just wiped their noses on. How it's still going on in this day and age I'll never know.
It's 1486, and the King departs to fight in the Crusades — leaving Harry as regent, with Edmund trying to scheme against him. But when the king's Scottish friend McAngus shows up and takes away his land, Edmund sets his sights on winning back what's his, punishing McAngus, and maybe even becoming king in the process. Put in charge of the St. Leonard's Day festivals, Edmund arranges for McAngus to play the lead in a new play, The Death of the Scotsman — in which the daggers will be real. But when McAngus mentions that he has letters that might prove Harry is illegitimate (the queen having had an affair with his — McAngus's — father), Edmund calls off the play, only to realize the dates on the letters are wrong. Harry's not the bastard...he is. Of course, Edmund gets out of this in the most heroic fashion possible ... he begs and pleads for his life, offering everything he has to McAngus to spare his life. McAngus accepts, but Edmund's not out yet. For once, he listens to Baldrick and gets McAngus to inspect one of the castle cannons, leading to a terrible accident!
Tropes
- Affair Letters: McAngus proves that the Queen was having an affair with his father. After Harry points out that the dates mean Edmund is the bastard child, Edmund quickly declares that the letters are fakes intended to slander the Queen and hurriedly chucks them in the fire.
- Ain't Too Proud to Beg: Edmund, finding himself on the losing end of a duel, tries to bribe McAngus with all his possessions into sparing his life.Edmund: You can have my wigs! My wigs for formal occasions, my wigs for private occasions...
- All Part of the Show: Edmund tries to get McAngus killed during a production of The Death of the Scotsman.
- All Women Are Prudes: The Queen responds to news of her husband coming back possibly making love to her with an "Oh, yes, I wish he wouldn't do that." But later subverted, when she is revealed to have had a VERY passionate affair with McAngus' father.
- Artistic License – History: The Holy Land Crusades ended in 1291, a good 190 years before Richard IV left for the Crusade in Turkey. The closest thing to a Crusade in that time period was the Holy League Crusade of 1495, which pitted France against a coalition of nations led by the Vatican and was fought in Italy. England wasn't involved.
- As the Good Book Says...: As above.
- BFS: McAngus uses one against Edmund, breaking his normal-sized sword with a single swing.
- The Bad Guy Wins: For the first time, Edmund succeeds in coming out on top by killing someone. It won't be the last.
- Bastard Bastard: Edmund is proved to be one of these, but manages to destroy the evidence.
- Berserk Button: Edmund hates Morris Dancing, as per the quote at the top of the page.
- Brick Joke: After being put in charge of "the frolics", Edmund tells Baldrick to hire Bernard the Bear-Baiter "and tell him to bring a bear this time". Later on, after watching a particularly bad act, the Queen comments:Queen: I liked Bernard the Rabbit-Baiter.
- Double Take: King Richard gives a truly absurd one after being reminded that Edmund is his son.
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: The Jumping Jews of Jerusalem.Edmund: What do they do?Baldrick: They jump, my lord. They come in and they jump. A lot.
- Fictional Holiday: St. Leonard's Day. Unlike St. Ralph the Liar in the previous episode, there is a St. Leonard. His feast day is November 6, but the eunuchs, bearded ladies, and so on aren't part of it.
- Fiery Redhead: When McAngus is not leading the King's armies against the Turks, he is out hunting or duelling.
- Foreshadowing: When learning that McAngus’s father was Donald McAngus, 3rd Duke of Argyle, the Queen seems nervous, a hint at the affair that resulted in one of her children.
- Fridge Logic: In-Universe, the Queen ponders what a Scotsman is doing in Egypt, in the festival play. The plothole of course comes from Edmund nonsensically substituting a "Scotsman" role for McAngus in place of the Pharaoh.
- Girls with Moustaches: Apparently bearded women are a traditional part of the St. Leonard's Day celebrations, one Harry insists be present. Edmund is annoyed to learn the only available bearded woman he could find has shaved her beard off. He forces Baldrick, who still has his beard, to dress in drag to fill the role.
- Heroic Bastard / Bastard Bastard: Edmund tries to uncover a love letter between the queen and McAngus written around Harry's birth to dethrone him. However, it turns out that the letter was written after Harry's birth.Blackadder: As you can see, these letters are dated —
Harry: Nine months after I was born!
McAngus: Or nine months before you were born, Edmund.
Blackadder: You... bastard!
Harry: No, I think you'll find that you're the bastard, Edmund. - Idiot Ball: McAngus, who otherwise shows himself to be a smart, cunning warrior, ends up getting killed by suddenly being dumb enough to stick his head into a cannon. This is the result of McAngus's death being a remnant of the show's unaired pilot episode, where McAngus was written as a Dumb Muscle character, which (combined with Edmund being considerably more intelligent in the pilot than he is here) made him getting killed in such an idiotic manner more plausible.
- Incoming Ham: Who else?"BLOOD! DEATH! WAR! RUMPY-PUMPY! TRIUMPH!"
- Gratuitous Use of the Tallit: The Jumping Jews of Jerusalem.
- No Kill like Overkill: Edmund gets rid of McAngus by shooting him with a cannon ... while McAngus was looking down the barrel.
- No One Could Survive That!: The last McAngus saw of Richard IV was him charging at a city of Turks armed with naught but a fruit knife. Everyone assumes, therefore, that he died. He in fact turns out to have survived, thanks to the fruit knife.
- Noodle Incident: According to Edmund, the last time Bernard the Bear-Baiter put on a show, he forgot to bring the bear, and his improvising was pathetic.
- Sidetracked by the Analogy: Percy doesn't understand what "it's all Greek to me" means, and winds up thinking it's some kind of riddle.
- Stylistic Suck: The Death of the Scotsman, a play that Edmund has hurriedly edited to provide a role for MacAngus, leading to a Scottish protagonist in an Egyptian setting. It becomes even worse when Edmund himself crashes the proceedings to clumsily stab McAngus with a fake dagger.Tutankhamen McPherson, you come not a whit too soon,
For is this not the weather fair, or this the Ides of June? - Too Dumb to Live: Baldrick's first "cunning plan" actually works on McAngus. Edmund persuades him to put his head in a cannon before firing it.
- The Unfavorite: Edmund's status as this is especially pronounced during this episode. Not only does King Richard not even remember who he is on returning from the Crusades, he's perfectly happy to let McAngus kill him just for the entertainment value.
- Verbal Backspace: McAngus has a moment after deriding Edmund.McAngus: Same old story; the Duke of Edinburgh and about as Scottish as the Queen of England's tits! [he remembers Gertrude is sat beside him] Och, nae offence your Majesty.
- This line may have been a Take That! to the incumbent Duke of Edinburgh at the time the series was made, who was Greek-born.
- Violent Glaswegian: When bringing tributes to the queen, McAngus empties a bag of severed heads onto the table. He apologises, stating that it was his overnight bag.
- Weapons Breaking Weapons: Edmund challenges McAngus to a Duel to the Death, drawing an anachronistic rapier and Flynning with it a bit to intimidate his opponent. McAngus, being a stereotypical Scotsman, pulls out a claymore and snaps Edmund's blade off his hilt with a single blow.
- Wham Line: The letters between the Queen and the third Duke of Argyle were dated between November and December of 1460, which was exactly nine months...Harry: AFTER I was born!McAngus: But nine months before you were born, Edmund.
- Wholesome Crossdresser: Baldrick is VERY enthusiastic about being the Bearded Lady. When Edmund cancels the rest of the performance Baldrick's response is to ask if he has to take the dress off.
- With This Herring: Richard IV manages to defeat ten thousand Turks, while armed with only a small knife, typically used for peeling fruit.
