Tracey: I know. You're here so that the next time you tell Marcus you're here - only you ain't - he'll fink you are, because you was last time. This time. Tonight.
— Tracey Stubbs realising why Dorien has agreed to have a girls' night with her and Sharon.
- Date First Aired: 27/11/1994
After spending time reminiscing about their childhood sweethearts, the girls decide to try and find them again. Dorien's old flame Derek Henty is now a government minister, while Warren Hutchins (a spotty schoolboy Sharon used to be with) is now quite handsome (although he's also come out as gay). Sharon decides to pretend that she and him will get married, if only to make Dorien jealous of her.
Tropes In This Episode:
- Accidental Misnaming:
- When trying to remember Darryl's name, Robert initially calls him "Darren".
- Derek calls Dorien "Doreen" over the phone.
- Alliterative Name: One-Shot Character Robert Radford.
- All There in the Script: Dorien speaks to a woman about free love, and later Robert calls off-screen to a person called Daphne. Although never stated in the episode itself, the end credits reveal they are the same person.
- Better than Sex: Tracey claims this is the case for the new American ice cream she has bought, but Dorien doesn't believe her.
- Big Eater: Sharon eats half a box of Corn Flakes for breakfast.
- Blackmail: Derek believes Dorien is only trying to reconnect with him because she wants to blackmail him.
- Celebrity Crush:
- Tracey thinks Tom Cruise is drop dead gorgeous.
- Sharon's latest Erotic Dream has Linford Christie and the TV doctor.
- Tracey would gladly have Bill Clinton for a night.
- Coincidental Broadcast: The girls just happen to stumble upon Derek on the TV as he begins to talk about Dorien as some obsessive ex-girlfriend.
- Curse Cut Short: Dorien stops Tracey:Tracey: I fought you said you like 'em with a small IQ an' a big-Dorien: Derek is clever... shrewd... ambitious.
- Deadpan Snarker: Both Tracey and Sharon lay it on thick to Dorien:Dorien: Now I look in the mirror sometimes-Tracey: No need to depress yaself, Dor.Dorien: An' I wonder where my innocence went.Sharon: Couple o' thousand mattresses could answer that one.
- Embarrassing Nickname:
- When Sharon dated Warren, all her mates called them "Tits and Zits".
- Tracey tells Warren that everyone used to call him "Monkey's Bum", so he fires back that everyone called her "Bog Roll Boobs".
- Erotic Dream: Sharon has them about Linford Christie and the TV doctor
- Gasshole: Dorien isn't looking forwards to a girls' night with Tracey and Sharon, a big part of that coming from Sharon's flatulence.
- The Ghost:
- Janice Gibson, who Tracey used to sit behind at school.
- Mrs. Price, one of Tracey and Sharon's old teacher.
- Giles, one of Derek's associates.
- Groin Attack: The reason Robert stood up Tracey was because Darryl threatened Robert's "tackle" if he ever went near Tracey again.
- Lame Rhyme Dodge: When Sharon asks Warren about his acne, she quickly tries to pretend she was talking about places in Hatney they used to go to.
- "L" Is for "Dyslexia": Sharon remarks that Tracey had horrible spelling in her youth.
- Noodle Incident: We don't know what Dorien did to the AA man last week, but Tracey insists it was unnatural.
- One-Shot Character: Robert Radford, Derek Henty, Warren Hutchins, Peter and Daphne.
- One-Steve Limit: Although spelt differently and only being All There in the Script, there was another One-Shot Character called Derrick in "Not in My Back Yard".
- Potty Failure: Tracey used to have stress-related bladder issues when she was in school.Sharon: No, no, she's fine now. The rubber knickers worked a treat!
- Rich Language, Poor Language: Dorien isn't familiar with the term "stood up".
- Rise of Zitboy: Warren used to be incredibly spotty back in school, to the point where Sharon was mocked for dating him.
- Series Continuity Error: Dorien claims she has never been dumped since Derek dumped her, seemingly forgetting about Luke dumping her in "Falling in Love Again".
- Shout-Out:
- Tracey fancies Tom Cruise.
- Sharon remarks someone should tell Keith Floyd about the new American ice cream she's eating.
- When Tracey asks Dorien if she wants to hear the story of how she knew Darryl was the one for her, Dorien instantly changes the subject by looking for a Michael Winner film.
- Sharon scoffs that Tracey tells her about the story of her and Darryl's first romantic moment so much, that she could do it on Mastermind as her special subject.
- Sharon tells Tracey her spelling was so poor that when she wrote "Robert Radford", she thought she was writing about Butch Cassidy's mate, referring to how Robert Redford starred as Harry Longabaugh in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
- When Dorien won't say who her first boyfriend was, Sharon jokingly theorises that it was John Major and she had to sign the Official Secrets Act after it. Other guesses from the sisters include Prince Charles, Percy Sugden and Fred Flintstone.
- Dorien and Derek went on a date to watch Help!, but never saw how it ended because they were too busy with each other.
- Tracey hopes Robert has become a writer, only for Sharon to reveal he owns a cat food store, leading Dorien to respond "William Wordsworth, eat your heart out".
- Robert used to have hair like Marc Bolan.
- Tracey and Robert were going to see Shaft on their third date, but Robert never showed up.
- Linford Christie and the TV doctor both starred in Sharon's latest Erotic Dream.
- Sharon claims to be a dead ringer for Cindy Crawford.
- Sharon tells Tracey that if she married Robert instead of Darryl, she could have been the "Anita Roddick of horse meat".
- When Sharon is waiting for her date with Warren and sees an unattractive guy walk to her, she mutters to herself "Beam me up, Scotty".
- Tracey claims that if Hillary Rodham Clinton kicked out Bill Clinton, she'd gladly put him up for the night.
- Sharon remarks that she didn't have to be Hercule Poirot to work out that Warren was.
- The girls watch a documentary on BBC Two about pond life.
- Speak in Unison: When Dorien says her first boyfriend was someone who is now in the public eye, Tracey and Sharon both say "John Major" at the same time.
- Stood Up: Tracey recalls how Robert stood her up on their third date, so Sharon reassures her that it happens to everyone.
- Take That!:
- Tracey doesn't fancy Danny DeVito, calling him something that fell off a charm bracelet.
- Sharon argues that Derek should have no problem being involved in a scandal because he's a Tory MP.
- When Dorien says Derek works under Michael Portillo, Sharon is disgusted but remarks someone has to do it.
- When talking about things he has been blackmailed for, Derek insists that he does not support Chelsea.
- Titled After the Song: The title comes from a Paul Anka song.
- Verbal Backspace: Sharon does a lot on her phone call to Warren thanks to her nerves:Sharon: Uh, case you've forgotten me, I used to be Sharon Rackham; Light brown hair, big... big smile.
