Recap / Birds of a Feather S5E6: Dead Loss

Sharon: Bad news, Trace. Mrs. Theodopolopodous is dead.

Tracey: But that's you, Shal.

Sharon: No, horrible old fat Mrs. Theodopolopodous.

Dorien: Yes, Tracey's right - that's you.

— Sharon Theodopolopodous telling Tracey Stubbs and Dorien Green about the death of her mother-in-law, Polla.

• Date First Aired: 10/10/1993

Dorien is not in a good mood today — Melanie Fishman now runs the top charity fundraiser in Essex. Thus, Dorien decides to try to one-up her at her game. Meanwhile, there has been a death in the family - Sharon's mother-in-law has died. However, this also means that Chris is up for compassionate leave for the funeral, and Sharon isn't looking forward to it. Especially so for Tracey after she finds that Sharon is planning to take the relatives to their house.

The day of the funeral comes and Dorien has decided to come in an attempt to one-up Melanie by being at a scene of a genuine human tragedy. Unfortunately, an issue has arisen - Chris has run off as everyone was leaving the funeral. Additionally, not only is the wake quite cheerful, but Melanie is not impressed with Dorien's attempts.

Eventually, Sharon comes across Chris at her café, currently having a drunken binge. Despite his joy that he's free, Sharon and Tony knock him out and return him to prison.

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Tropes In This Episode:

• Accidental Misnaming: Theo calls Garth "Gary". Even when Garth corrects him, he decides to continue calling him Gary as he prefers the name.
  Theo: Ay, Gary.
  Garth: Garth.
  Theo: No, I don't like "Garth". Gary.
• And I'm the Queen of Sheba: Sharon says this in a comeback to Chris:
  Chris: I-I can make tea! I can make san'wiches!
  Sharon: No you can't. That's not tea, it's coffee! An' if that's a sandwich, I'm Michelle Pfeiffer!
• Ask a Stupid Question...: Occurs when Tracey asks how the funeral went:
  Tracey: How'd it go?
  Sharon: Oh, wonderful. Right-old rave-up. Sort of Mardi Gras meets acid 'ouse. How d'you think it went? It went like a funeral!
• Ass Shove: Sharon threatens to turn Chris into a kebab with by shoving an iron railing up his ass.
• Big "WHAT?!": Sharon and Tracey's reaction to learning that Chris has done a runner during the funeral.
• Brief Accent Imitation: When discussing with Tony where Chris may have got to, Sharon remarks he could be halfway to Dublin and doing a Terry Wogan accent.
• Call-Back: Tony the plumber returns to help with the funeral.
• Cannot Keep a Secret: Dorien claims to not be able to keep a secret:
  Tracey: But how will she know?
  Dorien: Coz I'm very bad at keeping secrets. (Beat) In fact, I gave her this number.
• Cardboard Box Home: Dorien once campaigned for those homeless who lived in cardboard boxes. Apparently, her solution was to get bigger boxes for them.
  Dorien: So? Every little bit helps.
  Tracey: Yeah, I suppose livin' in a bigger box you could always invite people 'round.
• Cheerful Funeral: Dorien is dismayed that the wake is so lighthearted, as she had been hoping everyone would be depressed and she'd be able to look like a caring person and make herself look better than Melanie Fishman.
  Dorien: That was grief? Half a box of tissues between twenty people - I've had more tragic head colds.
• Cleavage Window: Dorien wears a funeral dress with far too much cleavage.
• Crocodile Tears: Chris fake cries to Theo so he can pretend that he wants to be with Sharon and escape after the funeral.
• Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon: Sharon threatens to shove an iron railing so far up Chris that he will look like a lamb kebab.
• Dance Line: One spills into the kitchen as Dorien tries to pretend to Melanie Fishman that she's helping people deal with grief.
• Deadpan Snarker: Sharon has no time for Chris after spending the afternoon trying to track him down:
  Chris: I'm out now, I'm free! Ay, like... like... like an eagle. Phi-whoo!
  Sharon: You mean a budgie with pretensions.
• Great Escape: Chris uses the fact that he is given compassionate leave during the funeral to do a runner.
• It's All About Me:
  • When Dorien complains about how sad it is that Sharon's mother-in-law has died, Sharon argues back that she's only sad because the conversation isn't about her.
    Dorien: Oh, I'm sorry. No this conversation's getting really depressing.
    Sharon: Only coz we ain't talkin' about you.
  • Tracey wants Darryl to get compassionate leave alongside Chris not to console him over his mother's death, but rather so she can have a shag.
    Tracey: I wonder if they'll let Darryl out with 'im.
    Sharon: To give Chris some support, you mean?
    Tracey: Yeah!
    Sharon: To be a shoulder to cry on at the graveside?
    Tracey: Yeah!
    Sharon: To come 'ome 'ere an' bonk you silly?
    Tracey: Yeah...
• Men Don't Cry: Darryl assures Chris he can cry now because his mum's dead, but if he tries any other time then he'll beat the crap out of him. Despite this, the two then start crying when Chris starts listing all the bars he can visit on his compassionate leave.
• Noodle Incident: A week prior to the episode, Dorien campaigned on behalf of the homeless, which ended in her harassing Safeway's for bigger boxes.
• One-Shot Character: Theo and Marina.
• Plot-Triggering Death: Sharon and Chris' subplot is triggered by the death of Chris' mum, leading to Chris trying to escape
• Precision F-Strike: Dorien outright calls Melanie a "bitch" when complaining about her.
• Run for the Border: Sharon brings up the possibility that Chris may have tried to run to Dublin.
• Shout-Out:
  • When Dorien enters the kitchen angrily, Tracey snarks if it's because her holiday snaps have showed up on Beadle (a reference to You've Been Framed).
  • Sharon remarks Chris may have tried to flee to Dublin using a Terry Wogan accent.
  • Sharon sarcastically calls herself Michelle Pfeiffer.
• Status Quo Is God: Chris tries to escape prison but is knocked out by Tony and sent back by the end of the episode.
• Take That!:
  • Dorien only has one thing to say when Theo starts dancing at the wake:
    Dorien: Oh my God, he thinks he's Zorba!
  • Sharon compares a drunken Chris to Kieth Floyd on meths.
• Talk to the Fist: Tony knocks Chris out with a punch to the face to knock him out and get him back to prison.
• What Did I Do Last Night?: Chris can't remember what he did the night he got out of prison, including why he has three loose teeth. Of course, the audience knows what happened, it's just Chris who doesn't remember.
  Chris: All I do know is...
  Darryl: What?
  Chris: I can't remember a bloody thing, an' I got three loose teeth.
• Yiddish as a Second Language: Tony asks Sharon if it's "kosher" for him and Sharon to return Chris to prison six hours early.

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