Tracey: And that's when I realised I would have to face the future alone.
— Tracey Stubbs recalling the words of the Judge in the first episode when writing her autobiography.
- Date First Aired: 03/03/1996
After a clip of the husbands being sentenced to twelve years in prison, we cut to the present day, where we see Tracey typing up some pages. Sharon manages to have a look at them and finds that Tracey is writing an autobiography. Sharon points out that Tracey was never alone - she had Sharon with her, although Tracey points out that without her, the bills would be a lot cheaper, and how Dorien has impacted their lives.
As this Clip Show goes on, we see more of the girls' past exploits - Sharon's relationships, Dorien's tragedies, Tracey's relationships, the relationships of Chris and Darryl towards their prospective spouses, and the relationship between the girls and their misadventures.
Afterward, Sharon suggests writing these down but Tracey argues that it won't be an autobiography anymore. However, Dorien points out that she's glad to have the sisters as neighbors, before asking if the girls at the end of the credits them. Cue the sisters sharing a smile.
Tropes in this episode:
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: At the end of the episode, Dorien asks Tracey and Sharon if the little girls in the footage over the end credits are actually them, to which they smile at each other. (They aren't, as neither of the girls' families could afford a video recorder at the time).
- Clip Show: The majority of the episode is simply just clips from the previous series. In order they are:
- Darryl and Chris being sentenced to twelve years in prison ("Nicked").
- Sharon offering to stay with Tracey until her mood improves ("Nicked").
- Sharon messily making breakfast ("Shift").
- Sharon eating in the Jacuzzi ("Just Visiting").
- Tracey ordering Sharon to tidy her room ("Mice").
- Tracey complaining about finding Gil in her shower ("Nine and a Half Days").
- Dorien barging into Dalentrace for the first time ("Nicked").
- Dorien trying to get Sharon to buy expensive lingerie ("Nicked").
- Dorien explaining she's never had a "vulgar knock" ("Schooling").
- Dorien wearing a giant fur coat ("High Fidelity").
- Dorien trying to pull firemen ("Bang").
- Dorien pushing past Sharon at the front door ("Getting a Grip").
- Dorien punching through the back door's glass ("An Inspector Stays").
- Dorien wearing leopard print clothing ("Hungry For Love").
- Dorien's new menopause-caused appearance ("Time and Tides").
- Dorien entering the kitchen after her night with Michael ("All Day and All of the Night").
- Dorien getting stuck in a folding bed ("Poetic Justice").
- A drunken Dorien recalling her lovers ("Time and Tides").
- Dorien telling Sharon about her exploits with Roger and Ken ("Time and Tides").
- Martin offering to paint Dalentrace ("Love On the Run").
- Sharon flirting with Martin ("Love On the Run").
- Sharon and Martin waking up the day after ("Love On the Run").
- Sharon and Mark on a date ("Schooling").
- Sharon getting turned on by Colin in a pink dressing gown ("All Gone Pear Shaped").
- Dave admiring Sharon's ring ("Shift").
- Dorien insisting she isn't working class ("Shift").
- Dorien crying over Luke dumping her ("Falling in Love Again").
- Dorien drunkenly complaining about getting old ("Time and Tides").
- The McCarthy women chopping off Dorien's nails ("Falling in Love Again").
- Tracey hugging Gerald ("Trust").
- Tracey kissing Patsy Edwards ("Substitute").
- Marcus jumping on Tracey ("Cheat!").
- Manfred telling Tracey he's falling in love with her ("Falling in Love Again").
- Tracey insisting she doesn't have love handles ("Hungry For Love").
- Darryl checking out another prisoner's wife ("Keeping Up Appearances").
- Darryl worrying that other blokes will ogle Tracey ("Hungry For Love").
- Les and Olive making a fuss during their visit to Darryl ("Just Family").
- Sharon telling Chris that Tracey is pregnant ("Women's Troubles").
- Sharon trying to find out what Chris did with their £5,000 ("Find the Lady").
- Sharon telling Chris about the time he cheated on her on her birthday ("Compulsion").
- Sharon giving Chris his birthday present ("Compulsion").
- Tracey and Sharon visiting Dorien in hospital ("The Lost Weekend").
- Tracey and Sharon restraining Dorien ("Compulsion").
- Tracey and Sharon consoling Dorien after Marcus gets into trouble with the law ("The Chigwell Connection").
- Rodney Kauffman mistaking Tracey and Sharon for lesbians ("Women's Troubles").
- Tracey and Sharon singing "I Will Survive" ("Okey-Cokey-Karaoke").
- Tracey, Sharon and Dorien putting on fake personalities for Mr. Roughead ("The Front").
- Distant Prologue: The episode starts with a clip from "Nicked" showing Chris and Darryl being sentenced to twelve years in prison, before cutting to Tracey preparing to write her auto-biography several years later.
- Framing Device: The clips are put forward by the girls reminiscing as Tracey is preparing to write her autobiography.
- I Should Write a Book About This: The Framing Device for the episode is Tracey deciding to write a book about her misadventures with the other two girls over the past few years.
- Look Behind You: To get a look at Tracey's autobiography, Sharon claims to see Dorien without her make-up on.
- Speak in Unison: Sharon and Dorien have memorised one of Tracey's sayings:Tracey: Course I don't need anyone else.Sharon: One, two, three.Sharon/Dorien: "I'm saving myself for my Darryl".
- What Happened to the Mouse?: Despite being one of the series' most prominent characters, Garth doesn't get so much as a mention in any of the featured clips.
- Your Door Was Open: Dorien barges into the sisters house, as per usual.Tracey: Did I say hotel? I should've said knockin' shop.Sharon: Well, that's something you could never accuse 'er of. Knockin'.
