Recap / Birds of a Feather S5E2: Bang

Dorien: I do think you have handled this experience execptionally well. Must be something in your genes. The way your forebearers survived the Blitz. Huh. "Do your worst Adolf, us chirpy Cockneys can take it".

— Dorien Green on the topic of Tracey's kitchen exploding.

• Date First Aired: 12/09/1993

We begin the episode with Tracey and Dorien playing Monopoly. This occurs as Sharon is in a bad mood. Meanwhile, Dorien has to go to her mother-in-law, which she is not looking forward to.

In the middle of the night, the kitchen explodes, due to the gas being left on by Sharon, much to her guilt. Dorien, hoping to get away from her mother-in-law, invites Sharon and Tracey away to her house.

At Dorien's house, Tracey checks up the insurance. Apparently, the policy only covers up to 75% of the claim, making her stressed. It's also not too long before the sisters outstay their welcome. Eventually, the gas is restored and the girls can go back home. However, as they point out, they actually can't for another night, because Nobby (who's arranging for the kitchen) needs to have it set up first. Dorien is forced to admit her annoyance at the other two's presence. However, they do plan to take her on a shopping trip out of gratitude. However, at the shopping centre, Tracey goes into shock, and Dorien gets arrested for accidentally stealing women's lingerie.

Eventually, the kitchen is finally sorted. However, one of the agreements with Nobby was that Sharon showed a few of his customers the kitchen, much to Tracey's anger.

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Tropes In This Episode:

• Abuse Mistake: Dorien mistakes a store detective detaining her for a potential rapist.
  Store Detective: Would you like to come with me, love?
  Dorien: Let go of me! I'm warning you, I've got a rape alarm!
• Accidental Pervert: A store detective keeping an eye on Dorien makes Sharon think he's a pervert because he leers just like Chris does.
• Bigger Is Better in Bed: Sharon alludes that this applies to Dorien's Chilean gardener.
  Sharon: If he was at arm's length when he was makin' you scream your summer 'ouse down, he's been dippin' more than his cuttings in growth hormone.
• Book Dumb: Tracey's shortest time for finishing a crossword is at least four days.
• Continuity Nod:
  • Sharon recalls her and Tracey's first Christmas with Dorien.
  • Sharon brings up Tracey's old friend Trish again.
• Crossword Puzzle: Tracey tries to do one with help from Sharon and Dorien. Sharon keeps guessing the wrong answers which infuriates Dorien, especially when Tracey believes Sharon's answers over her correct ones.
• Dartboard of Hate: Sharon claims she has a photo of Chris on the dartboard.
  Dorien: I mean, I take it you don't want a photograph of your husband for the bedside table
  Sharon: No, I prefer to keep mine on the dartboard.
• Deadpan Snarker:
  • Dorien in the first scene.
    Sharon: If you get a sudden whiff of halibut, don't worry - it's only me.
    Dorien: It wouldn't have occurred to me to look anywhere else.
  • Even when trying to stop Dorien from being accused of stealing underwear, Sharon still takes the chance to take the mick out of her.
    Tracey: Sharon, would you please tell this imbecile that this is not my underwear!
    Sharon: They're not 'er's mate, she woul'n't wear anything with a crotch.
• Fee Fi Faux Pas: Dorien makes a comment about being in jail longer than Darryl during a game of Monopoly.
  Dorien: At last, a double! Seems as if I'd been in jail longer than your husband. (Beat) Sorry, insensitive remark.
• Fictional Document: Dorien reads The A to Z of British Holidays to relax.
• Gasshole: Sharon asks a frustrated Dorien if she has wind.
• Get A Hold Of Yourself Man: Tracey lightly slaps Sharon when she gets hysterical thinking she's also left the gas on at her café, despite the café being all electric.
• The Ghost: Sharon's mate Nobby who fixes Tracey's kitchen.
• Heroic BSoD: Tracey goes into a state of late-reaction shock to her kitchen exploding when out shopping with Sharon and Dorien.
  Tracey: Was the weirdest feelin'. One minute I was lookin' though a rack o' knickers, the next minute I was seein' the explosion all over again.
• House Fire: The kitchen explosion started a fire in Dalentrace, requiring firemen to put it out.
• It's All About Me: Dorien uses Tracey and Sharon's kitchen exploding as a chance to try and pull firemen.
  Tracey: Ugh, not even a disaster can stop you.
  Sharon: When everyone on the Titanic was waitin' for the lifeboat, she was unzippin' the purser.
• I Want Grandkids: According to Dorien, her mother-in-law has this attitude towards her.
• Making Love in All the Wrong Places: Tracey reminices about making love to Darryl on their kitchen island.
• Malaproper: Sharon tries to help Tracey with a crossword, but mixes up "aria" and "area".
  Tracey: "Operatic song for a single voice". Four letters, beginning with "A".
  Sharon: Area.
  Tracey: How's that spelt?
  Sharon: A-R-E-
  Dorien: No, I-I'm sorry. You're wrong. It's "aria". A-R-I-A.
  Tracey: You sure?
  Dorien: Positive.
  Tracey: Nah, "aria" don't fit. I fink Sharon's right, it's "area".
  Sharon: Toldja.
• My God, What Have I Done?: Sharon is overcome with guilt after she realises the kitchen explosion was her fault.
  Sharon: I could've killed ya.
  Tracey: You didn't. It was an accident.
  Sharon: How could I 'ave been so stupid?
  Dorien: Like Tracey said, it was an accident. Any idiot could've done it.
• Near-Death Experience: Tracey only survived the kitchen explosion because it was facing away from her.
  Fireman: You've been very lucky.
  Tracey: Lucky?! Half my kitchen's in the garden!
  Fireman: An' if you'd been comin' in the backdoor, you'd have joined it. Fortunately, the blast was directed away from ya.
• Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: If Sharon hadn't left the gas on, the kitchen wouldn't have exploded in the first place.
• Obnoxious In-Laws:
  • Dorien is not looking forward to visiting her mother in-law, thanks to her I Want Grandkids attitude.
    Dorien: Well, if events take their normal course she'll be all sweetness and light until she gets her claws on her birthday present. Then someone will mention babies. An' I'll spend the next two days being vilified for not having added to her cloven-hooved herd.
  • Sharon's mother-in-law is mentioned to repeatedly told everyone in Greek that Sharon was a prostitute on her wedding day.
    Sharon: It started on day one. She took my 'and at our wedding reception, led me 'round the room to everyone, smilin' and pointin' at me, sayin' "Pórni, pórni", an' me - like a lemon - smiled and nodded back. (Beat) It was two weeks 'fore I found out that "pórni" meant "prostitute"!
  • Marcus apparantly hates Dorien's mother too.
    Dorien: Marcus couldn't possibly hate you with the same passion. "Passion" is not a word in his vocabulary.
• Offscreen Crash: Dorien is disturbed during her phone call by pots and pans clattering to the ground from offscreen.
• The Oldest Profession: Sharon's mother-in-law told everyone she was a prostitute at her wedding reception.
• One-Word Title: The title of the episode is "Bang".
• Out-of-Context Eavesdropping: Dorien hears Tracey and Sharon talking about new kitchens and gets the wrong idea.
  Sharon: Ooh, I fancy that one.
  Tracey: Nah, I prefer the black one.
  Sharon: Nah, that's nice. Imagine it stripped.
• Rich Language, Poor Language: Sharon and Dorien have some very different answers to Tracey's crossword questions.
  Tracey: Two down - "Another word for friend".
  Sharon: "Mate".
  Dorien: "Chum".
  Tracey: Four down - "Part o' the eye".
  Sharon: "Pupil".
  Dorien: "Cornea".
• Say My Name: Sharon screams Tracey's name when she hears an explosion in the house.
• Series Continuity Error: Dorien's cleaning lady has been working for her for fifteen years, yet back in Series 3's "History", which took place two years prior, Dorien mentions firing her cleaning lady for scratching her vanity unit, meaning she couldn't have been working for her for fifteen years.
• Shout-Out:
  • Sharon asks Tracey if she taped Coronation Street for her.
  • Tracey and Sharon remark that Dorien would use the sinking of the Titanic to try and have sex.
  • According to Tracey, her insurance policy is covered "as well as Linford Christie in a posing pouch".
  • When Tracey worries about her new kitchen being hooky:
    Tracey: I don't wanna tune into Crimewatch next week an' find I'm sittin' in Jane Asher's kitchen.
  • Apparantly, Chris is turned on by adverts for the Playtex Cross Your Heart bra.
• Speak in Unison: Tracey and Dorien both shout "NO!" when they realise Sharon is going to warm up some milk in Dorien's kitchen, both remebering how she blew up Tracey's.
• Stuff Blowing Up: Sharon ends up blowing up the kitchen after she leaves the gas on.
• Take That!:
  • Tracey makes an rude remark about Princess Margaret.
    Tracey: Now I know 'ow the Queen feels.
    Sharon: Having part o' ya home burnt down?
    Tracey: No, havin' a sister who's a liability.
  • Dorien dislikes Sun Bingo, and would hate to be stripped naked and wear a sign saying she loves it.
  • Dorien refuses to have Daddies sauce in her house.
  • Tracey mistakes a picture of Sinéad O'Connor for one of Benito Mussolini.
    Dorien: Mussolini had more hair!
  • Sharon complains about only being able to afford a dirty J-Cloth in her old kitchen.
  • Dorien refuses to eat McDonald's.
• Toilet Humour: Tracey can't sleep because of the noises Sharon makes on the toilet.

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