A special story released as a bonus CD bundled with Doctor Who Magazine issue 393 and later made legally available for free on SoundCloud
in 2012. It is a remake of the Doctor Who Audio Visuals story of the same name.
The Fifth Doctor accidentally lands his TARDIS in the garden of a snarky plumber named Angela, whose boyfriend John is enjoying the much-publicised comeback of the Cuddlesomes. They were the hottest must-have toys of the 80s: cuddly pink talking hamsters, sold as are the perfect toy for children of all ages. Giddy about the recently accounced line of new Cuddlesomes, John digs his old one out of the attic and finds that it still loves him very much. So much that it goes straight for his throat.
Angela follows the Doctor to the Cuddlesomes' main base of operations. It turns out that their inventor, a man named Turvey, was deeply traumatised and driven to madness when bullies destroyed his childhood teddybear. An alien psychic leech called the Tinghus latched onto that insanity and nestled itself inside young Turvey's mind, back in the 80's, to grow. But since the Thingus is harmed by adult hormones, it needed to get rid of all the world's grownups. So, it inspired Turvey to create the Cuddlesomes as a global virus.
Turvey loves his creations and genuinely wanted every child in the world to have one, and he would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for that pesky Revenue and Customs Department. During his time in prison, he was also put on meds that suppressed the Thingus voice in his head. So the Thingus patiently waited, planning a new wave of Cuddlesomes during the years Turvey was locked away. The new generation could turn every adult human on earth into a Thingus.
The Doctor is genuinely bothered when he realises that the Cuddlesomes are alive and not inherently evil. John, who has survived the attack thanks to the Doctor, also genuinely loves his own Cuddlesome and has formed a strong psychic link with it. However, Thingus' death is still the only option in the end, and the Cuddlesomes collectively die along with him. Angela's and John's relationship doesn't survive either.
Cuddlesome contains examples of:
- Bizarre Alien Senses: The Doctor's elbows begin to itch in the presence of a Hive Mind.
- Call-Back: The Doctor mentions he has to make himself a new Sonic screwdriver.
- Cool Toy: The Cuddlesomes used to be this in the 80's, and their revival is advertised as a high-cost limited edition for collectors.
- Creepy Doll: The Cuddlesomes. Even if they weren't coming to life and infecting people with an alien virus, they look like pink vampire hamsters and speak in a creepy high-pitched baby voice.
- Cute Is Evil: The Cuddlesomes were the hottest must-have toys of the 80s: cuddly pink talking hamsters, sold as are the perfect toy for children of all ages. They are also the product of a Wicked Toymaker and designed to kill any adult who had not loved them enough.
- Department of Redundancy Department: At one point John threatens he's going to kill the Tingus dead.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Turvey for the Cuddlesomes not succeeding.
- The Dog Bites Back: Miranda ends up killing Turvey, killing Tingus in return.
- Elmuh Fudd Syndwome: Turvey has a downplayed version.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Turvey doesn't hate kids. He hates adults.
- Fluffy the Terrible: Seriously, they're called Cuddlesomes.
- Freudian Excuse/Motive Rant: Turvey gives one when confronted by the Doctor, explaining how he swore revenge for being bullied in university for being a Manchild.
- Half-Human Hybrid: Miranda is transformed into a human-Tinghus hybrid. She gets better.
- Hard-Drinking Party Girl: Angela.
- Hive Mind: Through Psychic Link.
- Kick the Dog: The unit B's wipe out the unit A's at one point.
- Killer Teddy Bear: The Cuddlesomes will attempt to murder any owner they think didn't love them enough.
- The Lad-ette: Angela is a less crude example — she works as a plumber, carries a hammer around in her bag, and drinks so much the Doctor has to be her designated driver.
- Living Toys: The Cuddlesomes.
- The Man Behind the Man
- May Contain Evil: The Cuddlesomes.
- May–December Romance: John is implied to be quite a bit younger than Angela.
- Mistaken Age: Implied, when Angela implies people mistake her for John's mother.
- News Reel
- Noodle Incident: Angela is talking about Teddy Bears, and then the Doctor mentions having had a bear once, and he had to release it back into the wild once it started eating furniture.
- Nostalgia Filter: John and Turvey both vehemently insist that the 80's Cuddlesomes were much better than the new version. In fairness, they may have a point, although it’s more of a Lesser of Two Evils scenario.
- Not-So-Imaginary Friend / Imaginary Enemy: The Tinghus is a psychic parasite that latches onto a child's fears and feeds on them, growing within the child's mind until it is able to manifest physically. In Turvey's case, it continued to influence him after he became an adult because he never grew up emotionally.
- Not That Kind of Doctor: The Doctor, as per usual.
- The Plague: The Cuddlesomes' bites spread an alien virus that causes skin lesions and eventually death.
- Remake Cameo: Nicholas Briggs, who played the Doctor in the original audio-visual, appears as a newsreader.
- Ripped from the Headlines: Avian flu gets a mention. Also the Cuddlesome somehow makes a comeback before, currently, the Furby (in Real Life) is making a comeback!
- Shout-Out: The Doctor actually says "Hammer time!" at one point.
- Angela mentions the The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
- Stock Audio Clip: The Cuddlesomes Mark I's mention names this way at first.
- Symbiotic Possession: Tingus to Turvey.
- Time Skip: The Doctor tries to go back to Angela for a quick goodbye after the adventure ends. He arrives three years late. Still on top of her garden.
- Totally Radical: In-Universe and Played for Laughs. The Mark II Cuddlesomes talk in 1980s slang that sounds like a cross between the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Bart Simpson.
- The Mark III hybrid created from Miranda Evenden does this too, but made even funnier as its lines are read completely straight.
- [Verb] This!:Cuddlesome Unit B: "Inspectors? Inspect THIS."
- When All You Have Is a Hammer…: Angela brings a hammer along for the adventure, and it ends up being useful quite a few times.
- Wicked Toymaker: Ronald Turvey, creator of the Cuddlesomes. He wants his toys to be loved, and programs them to harm owners who do not love them.
- Zerg Rush: Of ... Cuddlesomes.
