After journeying through a portal from a parallel world in hopes of returning to their universe, Jago and Litefoot discover that they have arrived in another universe. Jago is despondent that they will never be able to return to their universe, but Litefoot is optimistic and decides that wherever they are, they will have to investigate…
It is revealed that the story is being retroactively recalled by Jago to Ellie and Inspector Quick. It is New Year’s Eve and Ellie interrupts Jago’s story to inform him that it is midnight. Quick tells the trio to join hands and they begin singing Auld Lang Syne. After they finish singing, Jago mentions how the song is appropriate giving the fact that Litefoot is not present due to mysterious prior arrangements. It is the first New Year’s celebration he has missed with Jago since they met.
Jago continues his story and explains that what they thought was another parallel universe turned out to be their original universe! The ships they saw in the sky were alien invaders that had hypnotised the populace to blend in with the humans. Thankfully, Jago and Litefoot managed to defeat the invaders and de-hypnotise the populace with help from Jago’s stage performer friend Harry Hypno.
Ellie however corrects him that it was Madame Sosostris that had helped them. Strangely enough, Jago cannot seem to recall that small detail precisely. Ellie notices a snow globe on the mantlepiece and gives it a shake. Jago asks if he reached the part of the story where Litefoot infiltrated the ship and lost contact with Jago. Quick confirms that he has not, so Jago continues his story. Only one man can save the world!
The next day, Jago enters the Red Tavern and asks Ellie if she has seen Litefoot. To which she says that she has not and offers Jago his usual ale. But Jago states that she can do better than that, much to Ellie’s irritation as she thinks Jago is criticising her alcohol. He requests a bottle of champagne, which annoys Ellie greatly and tells Jago to go find the Ritz hotel. Jago then drops his major bombshell of news…he is to be knighted by Queen Victoria! The entire pub falls silent at the news. Ellie’s mood quickly changes, and she congratulates him for his honour. She assumes that it was because he had saved her life from the alien ship that nearly crashed into Buckingham Palace. Jago assumes as much and would like to share the news with Litefoot. He assumes Litefoot is to be knighted as well as the alien defence was a joint effort. Ellie tells Jago that Litefoot did visit earlier but was rather distracted and left without finishing his ale…
At the New Regency Theatre, Jago is struggling to get some of his favourite acts booked for an evening show. His friend O’Leary suggests that they create an act of their own. After noticing the snow globe on Jago’s desk, he comes up with the idea of a larger snow globe filled with dancing showgirls. Jago rudely shuts down O’Leary’s idea, stating that when he becomes Sir Henry Gordon Jago, they will have to think of more upmarket acts.
Jago arrives at the police station and meets with Inspector Quick. He asks Quick if he has seen Litefoot, to which he states that he saw him only two days ago in the mortuary. Quick notes how Litefoot seemed quiet as he did his job. Jago assumes that he may be just nervous about the upcoming knighthood. Quick tells Jago that he has got news of his own, he is going to be promoted to Chief Inspector! Jago congratulates his friend.
At the Red Tavern, Jago and Ellie meet with Litefoot’s friend, Dr. Luke Betterman. Betterman asks if either of them has seen Litefoot as he was supposed to meet with him to attend a lecture at the Royal Society. Both confirm that they have not for the past few days. With a few people now claiming to not have seen Litefoot recently, all them become rather concerned. Jago states that there is one person who would know where he is.
After speaking to Litefoot’s housekeeper Mrs Hudson, Jago tells Ellie and Betterman that she has not seen him for the past four days. They search Litefoot’s study and look for any clues that could lead to Litefoot’s whereabouts. Betterman picks up a snow globe from the mantlepiece and states that it does not tie into the décor of the room or Litefoot’s expensive taste. Ellie notes how it looks like the snow globe that Jago owns. Betterman finds an open letter on the desk, which Jago confirms is the letter from Buckingham Palace. Ellie looks through Litefoot’s diary and correlates the date of the knighthood with the letter. Ellie discovers a sheet of paper with the numbers 30 and 34 written on it and on the overleaf is an address for 1A Belfour Street. Betterman finds a business card with the words Sir Humphrey Eagleton written on it. The back of the card has the words ‘Tinker Tailor’ written in Litefoot’s handwriting. Jago recognises the name Eagleton and explains that he was a Home Office employee who dealt in espionage. He and Litefoot met him during the invasion attempt. Betterman suggests they meet with Eagleton and question him for a lead on Litefoot’s whereabouts. Ellie plans to investigate the address. Jago advises her to take Inspector Quick with her. Jago theorises that whatever Litefoot has gotten himself into…he is going to need rescuing…
Jago and Betterman meet with Sir Humphrey Eagleton. Eagleton is pleased to meet Jago again as he saved him during the invasion from his secretary who turned out to be an undercover robot! Eagleton could not tell because he was hypnotised by the invaders. Betterman asks Eagleton about Litefoot’s disappearance. Eagleton becomes rather standoffish as he believes the two men are blaming him for making Litefoot disappear and explains that the espionage sector of the Home Office does not make people disappear. He does backtrack his statement and says that they can if the reason is good enough. Jago states that he has reason to believe that Eagleton visited Litefoot recently, but strangely he cannot remember the reason. Betterman explains that they discovered Eagleton’s business card at Litefoot’s house. Eagleton feigns ignorance and states that he has never seen the business card before, despite Jago pointing out the box of them on his desk. Jago accuses Eagleton of involving Litefoot in something secretive. Eagleton becomes nervous at the accusation but chooses to neither confirm nor deny whether he has seen Litefoot. With their line of enquiry going nowhere, Betterman suggests they leave…
Outside, Jago struggles to recall certain elements of the case, such as the numbers and the handwritten words on the business card. Betterman becomes concerned about Jago’s memory and quizzes him on the events that happened during the invasion. Betterman states that Jago and Litefoot spent a lot of time fighting the aliens on their spaceship, the aliens had the power to hypnotise and alter the memories of people, which they had done to the population of London. What if the aliens altered the memories of Jago and Litefoot? It could possibly be the key to Litefoot’s disappearance. Jago notices that his more recent memories have been fading quicker than they should be and he asks Betterman what to do. Betterman tells Jago to hold onto his most precious memories, his memories of Litefoot and his adventures. To start, Betterman tells Jago to recall his memories out loud to him. He starts by recalling the first time he met Betterman at Monte Carlo during the ‘Devil’s Dicemen’ case…
Betterman recalls the case rather clearly and mentions how impressed he was by the Infernal Investigator’s capability when in danger. Jago starts to recall their next adventure when the Fata Morgana ship stopped on an island housing an ancient alien creature…
Elsewhere, Ellie and Inspector Quick arrive at 1A Belfour Street. Quick jokes about how it has been a while since they were Higson & Quick. They discover that the address is for a shop. Quick is doubtful that a possible spy ring could be in operation here, but Ellie states it would be ideal cover. They find the shop is closed, but Ellie finds an open window and the two proceed to illegally enter…
Jago has just finished recalling the adventure of the missing gasogene to Betterman. Betterman tells Jago that while he has been telling his stories, they have been wondering aimlessly around and suggests that they meet with Ellie and Quick at Belfour Street. Betterman asks Jago if recalling his adventures with Litefoot has made him anxious. He lists off numerous bodily expressions he noticed from watching Jago talk, but he notices that whenever he becomes especially nervous, Jago always puts his hand into his pocket. Jago reaches into his pocket and takes out a snow globe. When Betterman asks where he got it, Jago becomes particularly defensive and states that he finds it comforting to hold, dodging the question. Betterman instead asks how Litefoot received his snow globe as he would not purchase something so garish. Jago assumes it was a Christmas present, but from whom he cannot remember. Jago directs Betterman into an alleyway which he states is a shortcut to Belfour Street. As they walk through the alley, Betterman notices how it is getting narrower the further they walk in. Eventually, they reach the exit and Jago walks out onto the street to discover it covered in snow! He looks up into the sky and sees something horrifying…the alien spacecraft he and Litefoot saw when they returned from the parallel universe! Plus, Betterman has disappeared! Jago looks around and has no idea where he has just walked into…
Jago wanders the snow-covered street, looking up at the spacecraft in the sky and wondering how it is still there. He recalls destroying the spacecraft and thwarting the invasion. But with his memory playing up, he is not so sure anymore. Have the aliens not been defeated, and they are still amongst humanity? Was the knighthood invitation just a trap set by the aliens to recapture him? Have they already got Litefoot in their thrall? He walks up to a homeless person and asks for directions. Only problem is that he cannot remember where he was meant to be going. He remembers heading somewhere to meet a policeman, but his name eludes him. Jago continues to walk and he eventually encounters two familiar strangers who are pleased to see him, Ellie and Quick. Strangely enough, Jago does not recognise them at first until they prompt him. Jago tells them that he was with Betterman, but he seems to have disappeared, plus his memory has been fading away. Ellie offers to help him recall his memories and takes him to the one place where everything about his adventures is on display…
Ellie and Quick lead Jago to The Museum of Curiosities, the place where their former biographer Carruthers Summerton collected everything about Jago and Litefoot’s adventures. Jago is surprised to see it still standing as he thought the contents would have been destroyed. The trio break the door open and venture inside. Jago looks around at all the exhibits of the monsters he and Litefoot have faced over the years. Kempston & Hardwick’s sandmen, The Scorchies, the Skeleton Ghosts from Shingle Cove. Ellie takes particular interest in a stuffed baboon exhibit. Jago remembers it being integral to a case involving Dr. Sigmund Freud. He begins to recall the case to Ellie and Quick…
After finishing the story, Jago asks Ellie if they were able to find the address in Litefoot’s diary. To which states that there was nothing of interest there. They stroll the museum and Ellie discovers a statue of a cowboy. Jago recalls it came from an adventure when Litefoot and The Tenth Doctor battled The Gentlemen of the Dice in Greece. He begins to recall this adventure as well…
Quick is surprised that Litefoot met The Doctor again. Jago remarks that he could use The Doctor’s help right now to solve his memory issues. As they walk, Jago begins to recall his school days with a boy called Johnny Easterby in vivid detail. Ellie assumes that if he can think back that far, his memory must be improving. Jago notices a painting that gives him and Ellie an awkward pause – ‘Death on the Platform’. She assures him it is fine and urges Jago to recall the awful event that inspired the painting…
Recalling this case shakes Jago to his core, it was the first time he had ever killed someone. Ellie assures him he did the right thing in giving her brother a merciful death. Not far away, Quick spots an exhibit featuring the Draxus. Jago remembers that Quick was under The Master’s control during that case, much to his embarrassment. Hearing The Master’s name angers Ellie as she recalls he reverted her vampire DNA to turn her against her friends. With more memories of his former cases, Jago begins to remember the more pressing case at hand. He remembers that he and Litefoot did defeat the alien invaders, but every other detail is wrong! The alien spacecraft in the sky should be a smouldering heap in the grounds of St. James’ Park. Jago further adds that the museum is all wrong! How can there be exhibits here from cases that took place after the death of Carruthers Summerton? Plus, how can the ‘Death on the Platform’ painting still be here when it was destroyed in Jago and Litefoot’s final battle against The Old One? Jago looks around and is alarmed to notice that Ellie has disappeared! He begins to theorise that maybe it is not just his memories that are fading…but his past as well as his friends. Quick asks Jago if this is Ellie from the Red Tavern he is talking about, indicating that his memories are beginning to fade as well, or maybe Quick can only remember what Jago can. Jago leaves the museum to get out of this fantasy world and head home.
As they wander the snowy streets, Jago begins to think that he is not in the real London. The streets and weather are not right at all! The Inspector Quick next to him is not right! He notices that the snow globe he kept in his pocket is missing. Quick asks Jago if this is not the real London…where are they? Jago suspects that the answers lie with the missing snow globe…or inside it! Jago suspects that they could be inside the snow globe!
Quick is incredulous to Jago’s claim of being in a snow globe, but Jago clarifies that they are not literally inside it, but possibly inside a world forged from Jago’s memories. Jago states it would explain why he has been losing his memories as they are being stolen to create this world. All the people he has encountered inside are recreations and recollections of the people he holds dearly. Jago finds the alleyway he arrived through and believes that he can exit through it again. A policeman on the street stops Jago telling him there is a sign telling people not to walk through the alleyway as it is a one-way system. Jago recalls that the sign was not here when he arrived and turns to Quick to corroborate his claim…but finds that Quick has disappeared! Jago however tells the policeman that he will be a public nuisance and head through the alleyway anyway regardless of the system. He turns to find that the alleyway has disappeared and has been replaced with a brick wall! With no escape, Jago shouts to the air that he will find a way out!
As he wanders around, Jago encounters Charlie Lucas, the hot-air balloon salesman who helped Jago and Litefoot board the alien ship during the invasion. Jago asks Lucas for a ride straight up into the sky, but Lucas tells Jago that he has closed for the day because of the snowy weather. Jago waits for Lucas to be distracted, and he suddenly jumps into the balloon basket and takes off into the sky, much to Lucas’ protests. Jago theorises that he will either break the glass ceiling of his snow globe prison or he will discover that the sky has no limit. As he flies up further and further, the lack of oxygen begins to overwhelm Jago and he passes out inside the basket…
Jago is gently woken up by a homeless woman in the street. He looks around and finds all the snow has disappeared. The homeless woman tells Jago that he seemingly appeared out of nowhere, tripped over her while she slept in the street and passed out on the ground. Jago is reinvigorated now that he is free of his prison and thanks the woman. The homeless woman hands Jago the snow globe that she found next to him while he was passed out. Jago warns the woman that the snow globe is enticingly evil and throws it to the ground, smashing it to pieces. He hails a carriage and asks the driver to head for Ranskill Gardens – Litefoot’s house.
Jago heads into Litefoot’s study and finds the snow globe on the mantlepiece. He holds it and deduces that he is possibly trapped inside it like he was, filled with muddled memories and false friends. He recalls a dream where he and Litefoot were battling an invasion of aliens, except Litefoot had been captured. The aliens threatened to kill Litefoot and they gloated and taunted Jago for his feelings for Litefoot. Jago remembers waking up from the dream and realising that if Litefoot was to one day die at the hands of some evil villain – he fears his final thoughts would be ‘Where’s Henry? He said he’d be here.’ Jago realised that he would rather face against the worst monsters and villains of the universe than to have Litefoot think of him in that way. The two of them are an indivisible pair and there will only be one Jago and Litefoot. Suddenly, Jago hears a familiar voice correct him... ‘Litefoot and Jago!’. Jago turns and finds the source of the voice…Litefoot!
Jago is overjoyed to see his friend once more, claiming that his rescue plan worked like a charm. Litefoot is confused as to why he needed rescuing. Jago is outraged at Litefoot’s lack of gratefulness, but Litefoot tells him that he felt his memories fading away as well and apologises to Jago. They both suddenly remember that they are expected at Buckingham Palace in twenty-three minutes to receive their knighthoods! The two receive a visitor from a man who introduces himself as Jeremy Tinker the Tailor. Tinker states that he has Litefoot’s suit ready to meet Queen Victoria. Tinker specifies that the waist size was 30 inches and 34 leg length as ordered. Tinker finally states that it was an honour to be recommended by Eagleton. The mystery of Tinker Tailor and the numbers 30 and 34 have been solved! Jago is incredulous that all his investigations were all one big misunderstanding. He tells Litefoot to get ready as they prepare to receive their knighthoods before they are late!
The Infernal Investigators arrive outside Buckingham Palace, where they find Ellie, Inspector Quick and Betterman waiting for them. Quick tells Jago that the address in Litefoot’s address book was a tailor’s shop, which Jago tells him that he had figured out. Jago explains to the three friends that he and Litefoot were trapped inside their snow globes, which Betterman finds difficult to believe. Ellie tells him to simply accept that fact as she hurries the Infernal Investigators inside the Palace. The other guests are waiting for them.
Inside, Jago and Litefoot discover many of the guests are the friends and people they have met during their adventures. Ellie explains that they are all here because they have heard of the adventures and the times Jago and Litefoot have helped them.
They spot Aubrey and reminisce with him about the adventure they shared on the Fata Morgana. Jago almost lets slip how he only recently met him again during their adventure in the parallel universe, but Litefoot stops him from elaborating further. But Jago does reintroduce Aubrey to Betterman and suggests that the two discuss a possible venture as they would make a good team, further alluding to the alternate universe.
Litefoot spots another familiar face, Jean Bazemore. She explains that she rushed back from Egypt after learning of their knighthoods. She explains that Litefoot spent the New Year celebrations with her, thus clearing up the mystery of Litefoot’s whereabouts on New Years. Bazemore asks the two if they are familiar with the woman wearing the tribal outfit. Jago and Litefoot look to where she is pointing and the two spot a familiar friend…Leela!
Jago and Litefoot approach Leela, who is delighted to see the Infernal Investigators again. The Doctor had told her that they are to be made lords! Except not of time but of England. Jago corrects her that they are to be knighted, which Leela states sounds much better as they will fight for Queen Victoria as her knights. Jago elaborates that Queen Victoria is to appoint them the KCBE – Knight Commander of the British Empire. Leela is further excited as she believes they will be commanding the knights instead. Before the two can explain further…they hear a familiar voice approach them…The Sixth Doctor!
The Doctor quietly informs Jago and Litefoot that he is under the guise of Professor Darke as he has heard that he is not popular with Queen Victoria, despite never meeting her yet. He assumes that he will meet her in a future incarnation and earn her ire at some point. Jago assumes that it was the incarnation who wore the bowtie, but Litefoot shushes Jago before he spills any further information. The Doctor deduces from Jago’s outburst that he will at some point meet Jago and Litefoot again in the future and is pleased to know that he will remain in contact with them in his incarnations to come. Suddenly, a palace guard calls for Jago and Litefoot as the Crown wishes to meet with them. Jago and Litefoot prepare themselves for their audience with Queen Victoria.
In the Throne Room, Queen Victoria praises Jago and Litefoot for their services in repelling the enemy forces that have threatened the British Empire and the world at large. She further thanks them for rescuing her from the various threats on her life. Therefore, Queen Victoria appoints Henry Gordon Jago and George Litefoot as Knight Commanders of the British Empire. Both men arise and Jago heartily thanks Her Majesty for bestowing the honour upon him and his dearest friend. However, Queen Victoria does instruct them to do one thing…never use their new titles in public. As their line of work should never be made public, it would be best that the two Infernal Investigators continue their mission to defend the Empire and Earth from its enemies in the utmost secrecy.
At the afterparty, Jago is downtrodden that he must keep his new title a secret. Litefoot and The Doctor tell him that Queen Victoria has a point about the secrecy of their work and their new titles would make them conspicuous. Ellie jokes that she and the patrons at the Red Tavern will gladly call him ‘Sir’ from now on. She believes that Jago and Litefoot are not meant for the aristocracy anyway, they are loved because they look out for the common man. Betterman asks Jago what they will do for their next case, but Jago tells him that they have not figured out one loose thread from the current case yet…who gave them the snow globes? He and Litefoot resolve to solve that mystery first…but not before they indulge in the buffet. The Doctor calls for everyone to raise their glasses in a toast to the Infernal Investigators…Jago and Litefoot Forever! CORKS!
