In 3rd person games, the camera is like the working class: if you can't control it, it will plot to destroy you.
—Yahtzee, Epic Mickey review
Forgive me for being cynical; though if you don't, you're probably not a regular viewer...
—Yahtzee, Brink! review
Doom 3, Painkiller and Resistance 3 we'll call 'shooters.' And we'll come up with a new name for Modern Warfare style games like 'spunkgargleweewee.' I'm perfectly fine with people telling me I just don't like spunkgargleweewee. And Warfighter is bad even for spunkgargleweewee so gargle something else.
—Yahtzee, Medal Of Honor: Warfighter review
SPOILER WARNING! SPOILER WARNING! HOOT HOOT PUT IT ON MUTE!
—Yahtzee, Ori and the Blind Forest review
Reality is a cruel and unintuitive place with frustrating gameplay mechanics, which is why it's so odd that games try so hard to resemble it.
—Yahtzee, S.T.A.L.K.E.R.:CLEAR SKY review
Undertale is a good game.
—Yahtzee's entire review of Undertale
Those of you that are paying attention will no doubt notice that all these games are sequels, And for those of you not paying attention- <claps hands sharply> OI!
—Yahtzee, first "E3 Trailer Park" video
Let’s all laugh at an industry that never learns anything. Tee hee hee.
—The jingle preluding "Occasional Guide To Special Moments In Gaming History" videos
Fans are clingy, complaining dipshits who will never, ever be grateful for any concession you make. The moment you shut out their shrill, tremulous voices, the happier you'll be for it. Incidentally, why not buy a Zero Punctuation t-shirt?
—Yahtzee, Silent Hill: Homecoming review
Random documents and audio logs,
We find them stuck to notice boards, we find them under dogs,
We're gonna put them in a file and give it a review,
When we're bored of all the gameplay but we've nothing else to do!
We find them stuck to notice boards, we find them under dogs,
We're gonna put them in a file and give it a review,
When we're bored of all the gameplay but we've nothing else to do!
—The Stinger for the The Talos Principle review
