Carrera: Thou art Gunvolt, I presume?
Gunvolt: ...I'm sorry, what? Did you just break out a "thou"?
Carrera: I'll not mince words. Duty moveth me not, nor do I pretend to justice. I seek only to possess everything... including the honour of destroying thee. Mayhaps fate placed me here for that very reason. I am Carrera. Now, come thou at me! Let thy levin be sundered betwixt fists of righteous magnetism!
Gunvolt: ...I'm sorry, what? Did you just break out a "thou"?
Carrera: I'll not mince words. Duty moveth me not, nor do I pretend to justice. I seek only to possess everything... including the honour of destroying thee. Mayhaps fate placed me here for that very reason. I am Carrera. Now, come thou at me! Let thy levin be sundered betwixt fists of righteous magnetism!
Hob Gadling: [at a Renaissance Faire and refusing to get into the spirit of the thing] Thou look'st passing fair, milady, excepst thou manglest the Queen's good English and your tits are hanging out.
— The Sandman (1989), "The Wake"
The Alchemist: How is wild in "Wild Old Gentlemen" spelled?
Hank: The olde fashion way!
The Alchemist: The olde... What does that even mean?
Hank: With an E, Wilde.
The Alchemist: That's not wild. That's Wilde! It's a surname. Oscar Ding Dong Wilde!
Hank: The olde fashion way!
The Alchemist: The olde... What does that even mean?
Hank: With an E, Wilde.
The Alchemist: That's not wild. That's Wilde! It's a surname. Oscar Ding Dong Wilde!
Yes, your honour. Ye olde town crier here robbed yon convenience store, and stuffed the booty in his jerkin forsooth.
—Dan Fielding, Night Court
Rohimmir: Saruman has poisoned the mind of the king and claimed lordship over these lands. My company are those loyal to Rohan, and for that we are banished.
Legolas: Oh man, sucks to be you.
DM: Oh come on, you aren't even trying. I know you can do better than that.
Legolas: Hark, thy fate sucketh?
DM: That is...much worse.
Legolas: Oh man, sucks to be you.
DM: Oh come on, you aren't even trying. I know you can do better than that.
Legolas: Hark, thy fate sucketh?
DM: That is...much worse.
Thou swell! Thou witty!
Thou sweet! Thou grand!
Wouldst kiss me, pretty?
Wouldst hold my hand?
Both thine eyes are cute, too...
Thou sweet! Thou grand!
Wouldst kiss me, pretty?
Wouldst hold my hand?
Both thine eyes are cute, too...
—"Thou Swell", A Connecticut Yankee
Towest thy vehicle to the curb and showeth me thy driver's license and registration. Did thou knowest how fast thou was driving?
—Tom Servo, "The Undead", Mystery Science Theater 3000
Remember, the Mysterious Tavern Guy's speech is not a crappy imitation of medieval Britishy talk, it's an excellent imitation of a DM doing a crappy imitation of medieval Britishy talk.
— Lore Sjoberg, Speak With Monsters
And anytime you're causing pain, hey dewd, refrain.
You know you want someone to drink ale with.
And what is with that crazy way you speak today?
Try adding an 'eth' to words you sayeth...
You know you want someone to drink ale with.
And what is with that crazy way you speak today?
Try adding an 'eth' to words you sayeth...
— "Hey Dewd", by Midas
You two idiots keep that up and I'm gonna get medieval on ye olde arse.
"Why do you persist in talking in old-timey Shakespeare talk?! We're from Greece! From two thousand years before Shakespeare! IT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE!"
"Ye hae ne'er glympsed a hatte whych be as grimm as yonder hatte ye glympse upon"
—Description of "Grimm Hatte", Team Fortress 2
"Somewhere, Shakespeare is spinning in his grave."
—Batman, Batman: The Brave and the Bold
"Navi! Navi! Wherefore art thou, Navi? I speaketh this in the Old English so my words beeth clearly dramatic!"
— The Deku Tree, xanauzumaki's Ocarina of Time Abridged
"I hath telekinesis." [Voldemort] answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!"
Priest!Seto: How darest you accuseth the Pharaoh of not-ist beingst the most handsomeseth!
Pharaoh!Yami: Why is he talking like that? Is there something wrong with him?
Egyptian!Solomon: I'm afraid Priest Seto takes the whole roleplaying thing a little too seriously.
Pharaoh!Yami: Oh, he's one of them.
Priest!Seto: Now be gone knave or I shall smite thee with my Millennium Rod!
Pharaoh!Yami: Why is he talking like that? Is there something wrong with him?
Egyptian!Solomon: I'm afraid Priest Seto takes the whole roleplaying thing a little too seriously.
Pharaoh!Yami: Oh, he's one of them.
Priest!Seto: Now be gone knave or I shall smite thee with my Millennium Rod!
Steven: Here-ethhh. You can borroweth my mother's sword-ethhh.
Connie: Steven, that's so nice...if grammatically incorrect... But thou can't just givest me thine mother's sword!
Steven: Why not-ethhh?
Connie: Because it's really important-ethhh.
Steven: That's exactly why you should have-ethhh it. You can have all week to practice-ethhh withhhhh it-ethhhhhh.
Connie: (giggles) Thhhhank you.
Connie: Steven, that's so nice...if grammatically incorrect... But thou can't just givest me thine mother's sword!
Steven: Why not-ethhh?
Connie: Because it's really important-ethhh.
Steven: That's exactly why you should have-ethhh it. You can have all week to practice-ethhh withhhhh it-ethhhhhh.
Connie: (giggles) Thhhhank you.
Kuradeel: Wouldst thou shuteth the FUCK up?!
Godfree: Sir Kuradeel, what mutiny is this?
Kuradeel: I've had to sit and listen to you for months (stabs Godfree), as you run Shakespeare through a wood chipper! (stabs Godfree again) Is that supposed to be endearing, or something?!
Godfree: Got it, not a fan of the Bard! He is gone! You and me, we are on the same page here, buddy!
Godfree: Sir Kuradeel, what mutiny is this?
Kuradeel: I've had to sit and listen to you for months (stabs Godfree), as you run Shakespeare through a wood chipper! (stabs Godfree again) Is that supposed to be endearing, or something?!
Godfree: Got it, not a fan of the Bard! He is gone! You and me, we are on the same page here, buddy!
""Welcome to Ye Olde Cloth Shoppe. Shouldst thou here thy coin spend, unto me shall great profit be! Prithee listen, for my gear hath abilities which will grant unto thee victory, glory... and coin. Coin which, in turn, will allow thee fresh gear. (Fattening my pockets all the while...) Thou shouldst hitteth ZL for more information about abilities."
— Jelfonzo, Splatoon 2
Martha: Verily! Forsooth! Egads!
The Doctor: No... No, don't do that...
The Doctor: No... No, don't do that...
— Doctor Who, "The Shakespeare Code"
"The pseudo-archaic English is an acute agony—a cursed hybrid jargon belonging to no age at all! That’s Hodgson’s weakness—you’ll not a sort of burlesque Elizabethan speech supposed to be of the 18th century in “Glen Carrig”. Why the hell can’t people pick the right archaic speech if they’re going to be archaic?"
—H P Lovecraft on the pseudo-17th century prose in The Night Land
RNS App: Ascend the goddess's tower. Amid the darkness, ye shall find the sigil that ye seek
Rindo: How come this app's so "ye olde" all of a sudden?
Fret: For flavor, Rindude! Ya gotta immerse yourself if ya wanna have fun. C'mon! Ye olde treasure await-eth!
Rindo: How come this app's so "ye olde" all of a sudden?
Fret: For flavor, Rindude! Ya gotta immerse yourself if ya wanna have fun. C'mon! Ye olde treasure await-eth!
Forsooth, the Lilim doth arriveth in their constructs of false flesh. No matter, it shall taketh more than that to striketh down I, Baraqijal the Lightning of God! So shall ye faceth my acidic wrath Lilim! Have at thee!
— Baraqijal, Rise of the Minisukas
Renaissance Fair worker: Hither, my lord. I hopest that thou enjoyestest it - the finest spinach pie in the land!
Hob Gadling: Er. Yeah. Thanks. (to Gwen) "Enjoyestest". Where do they find these people?
Thanos: Challenging? You assaulted me, thunderer and by the way...you not thou. Your not thy. Whatever else I may be, at least i do not embrace antiquated speech. I would rather date Death than date myself.
Thor: I shall express my thoughts as I see fit!
Thanos: Suit thyself then.
— Captain Marvel Vol.4, #17
Calvin: Holy schlamoley, isn't there a cop show where they talk like real people?
Aye, thereth she blows! Fullethest speed ahead and moveth rearwarded to Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe.
