'"'Dante...well, Dante seems to get caught up in other people's businesses all the time. I'm not even sure what their own deal is.''"
—Gregor, Story of Sin
"My mother says I can't escape meeting people like you. That it's my destiny."
— Claire Temple, Iron Fist (2017)
"What am I, flypaper for freaks?"
— Ancient net.saying, now found on T-shirts
"I'm just an average man, with an average life
I work from nine to five; hey hell, I pay the price
All I want is to be left alone in my average home
But why do I always feel like I'm in The Twilight Zone?"
I work from nine to five; hey hell, I pay the price
All I want is to be left alone in my average home
But why do I always feel like I'm in The Twilight Zone?"
— Rockwell, "Somebody's Watching Me"
"Listen, three-eyes. Don't you try to outweird me. I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal."
— Zaphod Beeblebrox, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
"Is it weird in here, or is it just me?"
— Unknown
"Weirdness in small amounts is good. Weirdness in large amounts is great."
— Benjamin Strevens
"Sometimes weird things just happen..."
— Sam Beckett, Quantum Leap ("Good Morning, Peoria")
"They come here, they all come here. How do they find me?"
— Max Bialystock, The Producers
"Only your father could take a part-time job at a small-town paper and wind up the target of international assassins."
— Marge Simpson, The Simpsons, "Guess Who's Coming To Criticize Dinner?"
Carla: Say, Rose? Do you believe in Magic?
Rose: Not really, no. But that's NOT what you're asking me.
Carla: It's not?
Rose: Nope. What you're asking me is, do I believe in weird shit? And the answer is yes. Of course I do. I'd be crazy not to. I've had a weird shit life.
Rose: Not really, no. But that's NOT what you're asking me.
Carla: It's not?
Rose: Nope. What you're asking me is, do I believe in weird shit? And the answer is yes. Of course I do. I'd be crazy not to. I've had a weird shit life.
— The Sandman: The Kindly Ones
"You're nothing but a trouble magnet, young lady. Since you started attending, we've had a 20% rise in laser mishaps, a 50% increase in supervillain attacks, and a quadrupling of interstellar invasions. Your behavior leaves me no choice. I am going to have to call your mother."
— Vice-Principal Rizinskee, My Life as a Teenage Robot
"Everyday you attract some sort of super mayhem to our school, usually before lunch."
— Brad, My Life as a Teenage Robot
"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to convince you that you must accept responsibility for being here, in this marvelous world, in this marvelous desert, in this marvelous time. I wanted to convince you that you must learn to make every act count, since you are going to be here for only a short while, in fact, too short for witnessing all the marvels of it."
— Don Juan (Carlos Castenada)
"Life's weird, that's why I'm sticking around till the end."
— George Neville-Neil
"I must be a freak magnet."
— Adell, Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories
Professor Minerva McGonagall: (to Harry, Ron, and Hermione) Why is it, when something happens, it is always you three?
Ron Weasley: Believe me, professor, I've been asking myself the same question for six years.
Ron Weasley: Believe me, professor, I've been asking myself the same question for six years.
Michelangelo: How come all the weird stuff always happens to us? I mean, we were just minding our own business, when WHAM, that time lady fell out of the sky, right on top of us! Now we're stuck here AND we've gotta go to that creepy-looking place! It just doesn't seem fair!
Raphael: ...you done?
Michelangelo: Yeah, I'm done. Let's go save Renet.
Raphael: ...you done?
Michelangelo: Yeah, I'm done. Let's go save Renet.
Elisa: That's some story all right. Gargoyle clans, mutated brothers, magic spells. You threw in everything but King Arthur and the Holy Grail.
Goliath: Yes, well, we haven't encountered the Holy Grail yet...
Goliath: Yes, well, we haven't encountered the Holy Grail yet...
"Great! Now go away! I'm tired of the horrible things that happen while you're around!"
— Charlie the Unicorn, Charlie the Unicorn 2
"Welcome to Smallville: Land of the Weird, Home of the Strange!"
— Chloe Sullivan, Smallville
"Hello, I'm Bill Bailey and I'm a bit of a nutter magnet."
— Bill Bailey, comedian
"He's the Avatar. Stuff like this happens to us a lot."
— Sokka, Avatar: The Last Airbender
"Why do all of these weird things always flock to me?"
— Louise, The Familiar of Zero
Heinz Doofensmirtz: Vanessa, help! A platypus has tied me up in my own pants!
Vanessa Doofenshmirtz: How did my life get to the point where that's not a strange sentence to me?
Vanessa Doofenshmirtz: How did my life get to the point where that's not a strange sentence to me?
"Ever since you got that watch, you became a magnet for the weird."
— Gwen Tennyson, Ben 10
"When you cross over into the weird stuff, there's no going back. Hector has a theory on it. Calls it the law of 'Anomalous Phenomena Attraction.' He explained it to me once. Didn't really pay attention, but it boils down to 'weird shit pulls in more weird shit."
"You gotta understand something about Sam, lady. Like, picture a typical N-M-S client. You know, just some normal guy, living a normal life... Then one day he wakes up and there's haunted bacon in the freezer, or something! Sam is that guy times a hundred. It's like he's some kind of Weirdness Magnet!"
— Fuzzy
, Sam & Fuzzy
, Sam & FuzzyLt. Stone: I find it very odd that you two are the only ones in Angel Grove outside of the Power Rangers to face off with a different monster every week!
Skull: Lt. Stone, it's true. Every time we turn around, well (sputters), there they are.
Skull: Lt. Stone, it's true. Every time we turn around, well (sputters), there they are.
"I'm guessing you only intended to honor your promise on the times that you had to. Therefore... By avoiding the weirdness that goes with super-heroics, you might never have a reason to be Starman at all... That's the thing, Jack, my boy. I didn't want to tell you earlier when we struck our deal that you'd play the hero, but the weirdness finds you. Like it or not."
— Ted Knight, Starman (1994) #4
"Seriously, why does this crap always happen here?! Yesterday it was tennis! Today it's a duel giant! Tomorrow it's Tarzan! This place is crazy!"
— Jaden Yuki, Yu-Gi-Oh! GX: The Abridged Series
Captain Elizabeth Lockley: As long as you're running an efficient operation and aren't looking for trouble, you are doing just fine.
Lieutenant David Corwin: That's what I'm trying to tell you. Around here we don't have to go looking for trouble. On B5, trouble comes looking for us.
Lieutenant David Corwin: That's what I'm trying to tell you. Around here we don't have to go looking for trouble. On B5, trouble comes looking for us.
Tristan: (When a giant, blue pyramid with a glowing, red eye appears) Oh, man, not more freaky magic!
Joey: This weird stuff always happens when Yugi duels.
Joey: This weird stuff always happens when Yugi duels.
Robbie: Why is it that whenever you're around, there's always ghosts or monsters, or whatever?!
Dipper: I dunno, man.
Dipper: I dunno, man.
— Gravity Falls, "Fight Fighters"
"Everything that happens to you is weird."
— Varric Tethras, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Detective Glass: Tell me: Do you chase the crazy, or does the crazy chase you?
Sam Winchester: Depends on the day.
Sam Winchester: Depends on the day.
— Supernatural, "Hunteri Heroici"
Vlad: Yes! There are the safes! Good! Good! Now get them out of there!
Bain: Tiaras, nuclear warheads, and safes. Just another day for Vlad.
Bain: Tiaras, nuclear warheads, and safes. Just another day for Vlad.
— PAYDAY 2
"You know, sometimes I feel like my whole life is just a series of loosely related wacky misadventures."
— Todd Chavez, BoJack Horseman
"For Pete's sake, why does everyone around me have to have such weird personalities?"
— Haré, Haré+Guu
Fillmore: (upon finding out that hundreds of escaped tiger prawns are heading for the lagoon) Why is it whenever something escapes, it always "heads this way"? What possesses all losers, lunatics and criminals to break out of wherever they're locked up and immediately head our way? Huh?
Hawthorne: Good question. Sherman, what brought you here?
Sherman: Low taxes, good schools.
Hawthorne: Good question. Sherman, what brought you here?
Sherman: Low taxes, good schools.
Mimir: Why don't you tell me how all this began with Baldur?
Atreus: He just knocked on our door!
Mimir: Baldur of Asgard just knocked on your door?
Atreus: Yeah, he just showed up and started a fight.
Atreus: He just knocked on our door!
Mimir: Baldur of Asgard just knocked on your door?
Atreus: Yeah, he just showed up and started a fight.
Tobias: <Have our lives gotten really weird, or is it just me?>
Marco: Weird? Weird? The talking bird wants to know if getting information on the location of an alien from a whale, that you've just saved from sharks by turning into dolphins... You're suggesting that's weird?
Marco: Weird? Weird? The talking bird wants to know if getting information on the location of an alien from a whale, that you've just saved from sharks by turning into dolphins... You're suggesting that's weird?
— Animorphs #4: The Message
"The storm has unsurprisingly centered above McDuck Manor."
— Roxanne Featherly, DuckTales (2017), "Timephoon!"
"You're like a magnet for the bizarre. I mean, sharply dressed bears, text messages from beyond the grave, that girl who thinks she's a cat... Don't you find it all a bit unsettling?"
— Sawyer, Crush Crush
"Flash-forward, I'm in my apartment doing push-ups, doing ab crunches, getting strong, when this weird thing happened. And I gotta say, weird things happen to me a lot, but this was real weird."
— Peter B. Parker, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
“I went my whole life without meeting any monsters, city boy. I meet you, and inside of a week, I’ve got cougar-snakes hiding in the circus and trains driving me straight to Hell. I think you might be a bad influence.”
— Frances Brown, One Hell of a Ride
"..Sometimes I wonder if I'm a magnet for people who hide their identities and sordid pasts."
— Julianne Stingray, VA-11 HALL-A
"Well, why do I always get hooked up with these spook details? Monsters! Graves! Bodies!"
—Patrolman Kelton, Plan 9 from Outer Space
Superman: Let me guess: Bizarro?
Maggie Sawyer: Any idea of what he's doing?
Superman: Remodeling. He thinks he's me, so he's trying to create his own version of Krypton.
Dan Turpin: Naturally.
Superman: (uses X-ray vision to look inside a building) That building won't last long. I'll be right back. If Krypton's what Bizarro wants, that's what he's gonna get.
(Superman flies away)
Turpin: I had to take this beat. Humans weren't nuts enough...
— Superman: The Animated Series, "Bizarro's World"
"Now while this is way more a mess for Chronicle Collectibles and GameStop to clear up - this situation isn't really Bethesda's fault - it's just somehow, almost a year later, yet another chapter in the chronicle of embarrassment for Fallout 76. To the point where I'm not even surprised. Of course a tie-in Fallout 76 helmet was moldy. At this point, why wouldn't it be? It would be weirder if it wasn't!"
Rick: I can't fight another one of these 90's-Styled Goofball Supervillains. I'm not the fucking Tick Morty, I'm exhausted.
Morty: Okay, but if you really have a lot of these guys gunning for you; maybe you should look into what you're doing to-
Rick: Oh don't start that crap Morty, I don't do anything for these dipshits to seek me out.
Morty: Okay, but if you really have a lot of these guys gunning for you; maybe you should look into what you're doing to-
Rick: Oh don't start that crap Morty, I don't do anything for these dipshits to seek me out.
Not this time! For some reason, wherever we go, our family leaves a trail of chaos and destruction.
— Bill Green, Big City Greens, "Green Mirror"
"We're Starfleet officers. "Weird" is part of the job."
— Captain Kathryn Janeway, Star Trek: Voyager, "Deadlock"
Sideshow Bob: Now, Homer, who can you think of who would have reason to do you ill?
Marge: ...The late Frank Grimes...
Marge: And the State of Florida.
Sideshow Bob: How can an ordinary man have so many enemies?
Homer: I'm a people person... who drinks.
— The Simpsons, "The Great Louse Detective"
"Stand users are always drawn to each other, huh?"
"I am a little evil magnet."
— Percy de Rolo, Critical Role, on his propensity for finding strange and dangerous magical items
