R.J. Fletcher: Now, wait just one minute, what do you think you're doing?!?
George Newman: WE DID IT! THE STATION'S OURS!
[Everybody cheers as the fanfare music plays and fireworks goes off]
Harvey Bilchik: [watching fireworks] Wow! Look at that —
R.J. Fletcher: [grabs Harvey's lapels] YOU CAN'T DO THIS! We had an agreement, remember?!? An oral contract! I'll sue!
Harvey Bilchik: Ah, blow it out your ear, scuzzbag.
FCC Agent: R.J. Fletcher?
R.J. Fletcher: So what if I am?
FCC Agent: I'm John Vickers, FCC. I've noticed that your station is late in filing its license renewal this year. Now, normally this kind of violation is punishable by a stiff fine, but I've been watching you lately. You've made a big impression on me. Yeah, I'm, uh... revoking your license. Effective immediately, you're off the air.
Pamela Finklestein: Hi, Pamela Finklestein here, coming to you with the most incredible turn of events. Not only has the once powerful corporate broadcasting giant been thoroughly crushed and defeated, but now, as luck would have it, they've been completely stripped of their license by the FCC!!! [giggles] Well, what do you have to say about it, you worthless slobbering pig?
George Newman: WE DID IT! THE STATION'S OURS!
[Everybody cheers as the fanfare music plays and fireworks goes off]
Harvey Bilchik: [watching fireworks] Wow! Look at that —
R.J. Fletcher: [grabs Harvey's lapels] YOU CAN'T DO THIS! We had an agreement, remember?!? An oral contract! I'll sue!
Harvey Bilchik: Ah, blow it out your ear, scuzzbag.
FCC Agent: R.J. Fletcher?
R.J. Fletcher: So what if I am?
FCC Agent: I'm John Vickers, FCC. I've noticed that your station is late in filing its license renewal this year. Now, normally this kind of violation is punishable by a stiff fine, but I've been watching you lately. You've made a big impression on me. Yeah, I'm, uh... revoking your license. Effective immediately, you're off the air.
Pamela Finklestein: Hi, Pamela Finklestein here, coming to you with the most incredible turn of events. Not only has the once powerful corporate broadcasting giant been thoroughly crushed and defeated, but now, as luck would have it, they've been completely stripped of their license by the FCC!!! [giggles] Well, what do you have to say about it, you worthless slobbering pig?
— From the ending scene when Channel 62 was saved.
Weird Al Yankovic: Hey, um, that feature is on the other side. You have to turn the DVD over. Thanks.
Weird Al Yankovic: Hey, if you want to see that, you have to turn the DVD over!
Weird Al Yankovic: Like it says: THAT FEATURE IS ON THE OTHER SIDE!
— Used in the UHF 10th Anniversary DVD Special Features menu.
George Newman: Whatcha got there, Bob?
Bob: [in awe] The ratings.
George Newman: Don't tell me we actually showed up on the list.
Bob: We're number one.
George Newman: ...say what?
Bob: We beat out the networks! This is unbelievable! Look at this! We've got three shows in the top five! Stanley Spadowski's Clubhouse went through the roof! It got a .60 share! George, do you know what this means? We're finally going to make some real money! George, we're the number one station in town!
[They both scream in excitement]
Bob: [in awe] The ratings.
George Newman: Don't tell me we actually showed up on the list.
Bob: We're number one.
George Newman: ...say what?
Bob: We beat out the networks! This is unbelievable! Look at this! We've got three shows in the top five! Stanley Spadowski's Clubhouse went through the roof! It got a .60 share! George, do you know what this means? We're finally going to make some real money! George, we're the number one station in town!
[They both scream in excitement]
—The scene when Bob found out that U-62 became the number 1 station in town.
Announcer: There's lots of fun coming your way this weekend on U-62! First, slam your way to health as you "Stay Fit with Mike and Spike"! Next, everybody's favorite: Chef Bernie invites you to go: "Bowling for Burgers"! Sunday, be a part of the excitement as we premiere our dazzling new game show, "Strip Solitaire"! And then, join us for some hilarious fun on the all-new, "Practical Jokes and Bloopers"! And you won't want to miss "Celebrity Mud Wrestling" with this week's special guest: Mihkail Gorbachev! It's a whole new weekend on U-62, the reason television was invented!
Stanley Spadowski: BE THERE! ...Huh-huh, yeah!
—The U-62 promo scene, immediately following the previous quote.
